“Serena...”
Her eyes lifted to his and she gave him a weak smile. “It’s okay, ranger. I understand. I’m just a bit embarrassed to have suffered this in front of all the men.”
“As cruel as this may sound, I had to make an example of you. They had to learn a lesson, too.”
She nodded slowly. She was silent for several long moments, then finally, “Am I free to go now?”
He wanted to crush her to him and hold her until the pain and embarrassment went away. He wanted to hold her and make sure she still desired him the way he desired her. But she needed time. She needed to process what she had done, and what he had done in return.
“Yes, you’re free to go, Serena.”
She nodded and took her first step and her legs buckled. He caught her as she went down, holding her gently against his chest before reluctantly setting her back on her feet. “Try again,” he said, his voice husky with emotions he didn’t want to explore at the moment.
She straightened her back and took a couple of steps, then a couple more, until she was walking away from him and to her horse. He watched her as she loosened the cinch and then took the reins and walked it over to a cooler spot under the trees. She wavered as she walked, but she seemed to be moving better with each step.
“Did you have to be so hard on her?” Cade asked from behind him.
Trevor had heard someone approaching and was fully expecting to be confronted by one or both of her brothers-in-law. He faced Cade with his jaw clenched. His authority and decisions shouldn’t be questioned, but he understood it was a unique circumstance.
Serena was making everything in his camp a unique circumstance.
“I would have done the same if you had done something like that and jeopardized the entire company of men. I cannot and will not tolerate that type of behavior in my camp.”
Cade nodded, though his face was solemn. “I’ll go check on her.”
He walked away from Trevor and Trevor wanted nothing more than to erase the last few hours. But Serena had made her mistake, and he had punished her. And it would crush him if she hated him.
Slowly, Trevor led them into the woods and they all were on edge, all of them watching for any little movement. A burst of birds flying out from some shrubs had at least a dozen men pull their pistols, then sheepishly returned them to their holsters.
After nearly an hour of riding through the dense forest, Trevor called for their midday break so they could get a little rest and food. Serena dismounted quickly, but not quickly enough. Trevor was by her side almost instantly, his arm slipping around her waist. He handed off their horses to one of the young men that had joined the “adventure,” and couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Serena. Trevor’s dark scowl at him, though, sent him moving quickly to water the horses.
“We’re going to talk, whether you want to or not.”
As much as she hated to admit it, she needed his arm around her. Her legs felt like limp noodles, and she doubted she would have been able to walk on her own without his help. And, somehow, she sensed he knew that.
They walked into a dense copse of trees and he turned her to face him. “Are you alright? Are you in any pain?”
Serena studied his face and saw genuine concern. After her humiliation had eased, she had replayed the events in her mind over and over again. And she had realized exactly how reckless her actions had been. She just wished she didn’t have to be the example of the extent of Trevor’s discipline.
“I’m fine, ranger. You don’t need to worry about me.”
She began to turn away when his arm snaked out and grabbed her waist, pulling her tight against him. His mouth dropped to hers and she lifted her face to him willingly, feeling like a flower stretching to meet the sun.
Their lips met with intensity, both of them hungry to get close to the other. He moaned in approval as her tongue darted out to taste his lips and he pulled her body against his, and she could feel the ache building low in her belly, a need she didn’t know how to satisfy.
When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard as he trailed kisses down her jawline and to her throat.
“Trevor,” she whispered, letting her head fall back as sensations crashed over her. “I didn’t think... I was afraid you hated me.”
Trevor paused, his warm breath blowing where his mouth had just been on her collarbone.
He looked up at her and shook his head. “I could never hate you,” he said softly. “You drive me mad in more ways than one, but I could never hate you.”
She smiled softly and dropped her head to his lips. Their kiss was deep and passionate, to the point that she lost track of time and even where they were. All she could sense and feel was Trevor.
Trevor pulled her against him tightly, and she felt the impact he was having on her was matched by his own body. She slid her hands down, eager to feel his bare skin, but his hands caught hers as she started to unbutton his shirt.
“We can’t, pixie. We can’t,” he said, breathing heavily, his eyes roving over her face. “God, you have no idea how much I want you. But there are a hundred men just on the other side of these trees, and any of them, including your brothers-in-law, could come wandering through at any point,”
“Trevor,” she whispered, the longing in her overriding common sense.
“Don’t look at me like that, Serena. Or I just may do exactly what I want to do and to hell with whoever walks over.”
She smiled at him and raised a quizzical eyebrow and he chuckled softly before pushing her away from him, though he kept his hands on her waist. “I can’t tell if you’re an angel or a demon. All I know is that you make me feel things...” He shook his head and drew a deep breath. “Head on back to camp. I’ll be there shortly.”
Reluctantly, she returned to camp and ate some cold beans and leftover biscuits quickly, before he finally returned to grab a leftover biscuit and walked among the men, talking to them about various things, but mainly keeping their morale up.
Before she had finished her biscuit, he was telling the men to mount up. With a heavy sigh, she slipped the half eaten biscuit back into her saddlebag and then mounted swiftly. It was proving to be a very long day.
Trevor couldn’t reveal to Serena one of the reasons he had been angry at her for running wild away from them. There was a madman running in their camp that wanted one or both of them dead. They couldn’t just take such a threat lightly. He’d already had his men working on it, circling throughout the militia, listening to conversations, trying to pick up on anyone that might have negative thoughts towards them.
As they made camp for the night, Trevor asked Serena to give him some time with his second-in-command, who said he had some important information for him. Serena had looked at him with hunger in her eyes and he had done everything he could to ignore it as he watched her walk to Cade and Lorenzo.
“Come in, Logan,” Trevor gestured him forward when he peeked into the tent.
Trevor set down the latest missive that had been delivered to him and focused his attention on Logan. Always loyal and dependable, Logan had moved up quickly in the ranger ranks, and after all nine months as a ranger, he had been assigned to Trevor as his second-in-command.
Logan was a big man, but somehow was able to get close enough to the smallest bits of information that could crack a case. He had a relaxed smile on his face most of the time, which might be the reason no one ever felt threatened around him.
He walked in and sat in the chair Trevor pushed his way. “How is the morale of everyone?”
“Most are still in good spirits,” Logan said, in the deep baritone voice that people rarely heard. He wasn’t the talkative type. “There are a few that complain about the pace, but that is to be expected.”
Trevor nodded, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought. “We’ve still got at least two more days of steady riding ahead of us before we engage with the enemy. Perhaps I can grant a few more breaks.”
“Then there�
�s the matter of your shooter,” Logan said, his deep voice reminding Trevor that the Indians weren’t the only ones out to kill them.
His eyes lifted to Logan’s. “What have you learned? Anything new?”
“There is a small group of men that ride together. Only about three or four of them all told. But I’ve overheard them talking about the loot that the Indians are taking from the towns. They talk about it as if it is something that should belong to them.”
Trevor’s eyes narrowed. “Go on,” he said, knowing there was more to the story.
“The four of them joke amongst each other that it is a shame the bullet hadn’t struck you, for they would have taken over this militia and really gone after the Indians the right way and not let a woman interfere with their plans.”
Trevor sighed heavily. “Well, we knew that comment was bound to happen, but not the one about me being shot. Do you think one of these men tried to shoot me?”
“I’m fairly certain one of them was trying to shoot either you or Serena, or maybe even both of you.”
“What makes you so positive?” Trevor asked, his brow furrowed as he listened.
“Because one of them matches the description of your father’s killer.”
Serena woke up in a cold sweat, breathing harshly, and sat up with a jolt. Instantly, Trevor’s arm was around her waist, pulling her tight against him and he, too, was sitting up, holding his gun towards the tent flap.
“What is it, pixie?” he asked softly, barely above a whisper.
With a shaking hand, she reached out and guided him to lower his gun. “It was just a nightmare. Nothing else. I’m sorry I woke you.” She suddenly realized she was in the same compromising position as before, lying on the ground with Trevor.
He lazily pushed her hair over one shoulder and planted soft kisses against her shoulder, gradually moving up to her neck. She sighed as the tension of the nightmare left her and she slowly slid back down into his arms, wrapping one arm against his bare chest, the curls of his brown chest hair rubbing against her flesh.
“Being near you is like playing with fire,” he murmured against her skin.
He kissed the tiny hollow of her neck and she gasped and let her head fall back, exposing more of her flesh to his seeking mouth. When his lips latched on to the side of her neck and nibbled lightly, she whimpered and her hands moved restlessly over his chest. Her hands dipped lower to where his hair tapered down below his belly button and he sucked in a deep breath, pulling away from her before her hands could get any closer.
“Does it hurt?” she whispered, not wanting to break the intimate silence between them.
The desire that burned in his steely eyes made her heart race with anticipation. “Yes,” he responded in the same whisper she had used. “I ache terribly for you, Serena.”
He rolled her over so that he was lying on top of her, and gently spread her legs and settled between them, and she instantly felt his desire pressing against her. She moaned softly, and instinctively flexed her hips, drawing an equally low moan from him. He began to rock against her, and she gasped at the sheer pleasure that burst through her body.
Without thinking, she wrapped her legs around his hips, drawing another pleased moan from him. His lips came crashing down on hers, and she met his kiss enthusiastically, arching her back to feel him against her aching breasts.
“God, you have no idea what you do to me,” he said as his lips pulled away from hers and pressed them to her neck, then her collarbone. “I want you, pixie. I want to feel you in every way possible. I want to be inside you and feel every ripple of pleasure you feel.”
Serena had almost forgotten how to breathe. “Trevor.” Her hands moved restlessly in his hair, and he released her lips and began kissing her cheek, her jaw, her neck. He rocked his body slightly and she moaned. “Tell me what to do, Trevor,” she whispered. “Tell me how to pleasure you. Tell me how to make love to you.”
His body was trembling, and he slowly, slowly pushed himself up on his elbows and looked down at her.
His eyes were a bright silver, shimmering with desire. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice strained. “I never should have allowed it to get this far. I can’t... we can’t...Your brothers-in-law are right outside the tent.”
“I don’t care,” Serena said urgently, her hands roaming over his chest exploring his muscles. “I want you. I need you. Please, Trevor...”
He lowered his forehead to hers and sighed heavily. “We can’t, Serena. I won’t be the one that ruins your reputation, your ability to marry a good man someday. I can’t do that to you.”
With arms that were still trembling, he lifted a hand a smoothed her wild hair off her forehead. “You are so beautiful. You deserve the best. And I’m certainly not it. And your first time shouldn’t be rolling on the ground with a hundred men camped outside.”
He pushed away from her and stood quickly, keeping his back to her as he put his shirt on. Serena felt as if someone had just dumped cold water on her. She had given him permission. She had told him that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. But apparently she wanted him even more, because she never would have pushed away from him.
Slowly, she stood and began to put her clothes back on, wondering why her legs and back ached so bad. She was fastening her sleeves when she saw the marks around her wrists and she suddenly remembered her humiliating discipline and some of her raging desire began to ease. But not enough. She craved his arms, his chest, his body.
She began to get irritated at how easily he had been able to push away from her, and how quickly he had quelled his desire for her. “I want you to know,” she began slowly and he turned to face her, the expression on his face nearly pained, “I’ll be thinking about this morning all day, every day. Wanting you. Craving you. And it won’t stop until I finally have you.”
“Serena...” He walked towards her and cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t do this. I’m not the right man for you, though I wish to God I was. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any other woman. But you deserve a man far better than me. I won’t ruin that for you.”
“Shouldn’t I be the judge if you are the man for me or not?”
“I won’t stay, Serena. I’ll be gone as soon as this war is over, and you’ll be tarnished for the man you can be with and love for the rest of your life.”
Serena shook her head at Trevor. “I don’t want any other man. I want you.”
His large hands still cupped her face and he slipped his fingers into the hair at the base of her neck, sending a shiver of awareness through her body. “You don’t know what you’re saying, pixie. I’m all wrong for you. We can’t—I can’t...” He sighed and dropped his lips on hers, giving her a soft, gentle kiss that almost felt like a goodbye.
“I need to go check on the men and get them ready to ride again. If I could, we’d stay here all day and enjoy being with each other. But we have an objective. And we can’t lose sight of that.”
Serena nodded, unable to meet his eyes anymore. The ache and longing still burned within her, but he obviously didn’t want her as much as she wanted him. Was it just because she was the only woman available that he took out some of his sexual frustrations with her?
He placed a quick kiss on her forehead, then left the tent quickly. Gathering her belongings, she headed out of the tent as well, only to be pulled up short by her two brothers-in-law.
“What are the two of you up to now? You both have that look on your face like you’ve been up to no good.”
The two men exchanged glances then laughed and continued laughing until they were nearly incoherent. She scoffed at both and tried to push past, but Cade grabbed her saddle and Lorenzo grabbed her saddlebags.
“Not so fast,” Cade said, his laughter having subsided.
Serena had grown up in a house with sisters. She’d never had to contend with a brother and, at that very moment, she was very happy she hadn’t. She probably would have killed one of them at an ear
ly age from sheer aggravation.
“Give me my saddle, Cade. I’ll even say ‘please’ if I must. But I expect you to give me that saddle back.”
“No,” Lorenzo and Cade said in unison.
Serena was winding herself up to go into a full lecture on how stupid men were and that they were just sheer brutes who took advantage of others when Trevor walked up. He eyed the situation then looked closely at Serena.
“You don’t leave my side at all today. Not even to saddle your horse.”
Serena was startled by his statement. Didn’t he want to put distance between them? But she couldn’t say anything in front of Cade and Lorenzo. “Why?” she asked hesitantly, not wanting to challenge his authority.
“Because your safety depends on it. They may have identified the gunman, and my rangers will be surrounding us to keep us protected. I then have another set of loyal militia behind them, and so on. We’re going to root out the bastard one way or another. But, until then, you are with me at all times.”
“Sounds like fun” she said with a tentative smile.
It was going to be torture to be so close to Trevor. But from the sounds of it, she had little choice. With growing frustration, she snatched her saddle back from Cade and her saddle bags from Lorenzo and marched towards her horse.
“Boys,” Trevor said while watching the sway of Serena’s bottom in her buckskin pants, “we’re in for a rough ride.”
Chapter Fourteen
The first day they had ridden in the new formation, Serena had been silent the entire time. At first, Trevor thought God was saving him from her questions and from the torture of being so close to her but unable to touch her. But then, as time went on, he missed her voice, missed her questions, and most importantly, missed the way she looked at the world around her with excitement and curiosity.
After the first few hours of her silence, Cade and Lorenzo had tried to pull things out of her, but she just gave them curt replies. When Trevor tried to get a response from her, it was a cold response he would receive.
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