by Mel Sherratt
Austin frowned, annoyed that Danny expected to spend time with him for the honour of being his driver. He swallowed down the words ready to spew out of his mouth. He needed to keep Danny on side, for a little while at least.
‘No plan,’ he said.
They turned off Alexander Avenue and onto Winston Road. Austin stared at the properties they passed.
‘You robbed any of these?’ he asked.
Danny changed gear noisily before replying. ‘No, don’t tend to shit on my own doorstep. I go on to the private estate – far more for the taking there. I do have a fence on here though, Mick Wilkinson. He takes most things from me.’
Austin made a mental note to find out more about Mick Wilkinson and his outfit. It might be worth his while to get involved with some of the locals, though if everything went to plan he’d have to scarper pretty quickly afterwards.
Danny sped up as a young girl tottered across the road in front of them. Austin sniggered. Her shoes were too high for her, unintentionally making her wiggle provocatively.
‘Hey, Becky,’ Danny shouted to her as he drew level. ‘Fancy a ride and I don’t mean of the motor?’
Becky stuck two fingers up to him.
Danny laughed. ‘What a cracker, and so ripe.’
Austin watched in silence as Becky continued on her way. She didn’t look much older than sixteen or so with her blonde hair tied away from her face. When she turned back and saw them still watching, she pulled up the collar of her scruffy denim jacket to conceal her face. Austin frowned: she seemed like she was hiding something – or hiding from someone.
‘I fancy some fun with her,’ Danny added, staring after Becky as well. ‘She’ll most probably be up for it too. She’s the new girl at Cathy Mason’s.’
‘Cathy Mason’s?’
‘She takes in all these homeless girls. Great for us single boys. They’re always gagging for it. Most of them are already hooked on drugs so we get a fair trade off them as well. And if they aren’t hooked, they usually are by the time they leave.’
‘Sounds like a shit place to live.’
‘I reckon it’s okay. Cathy Mason’s a right looker too. I’d give her one anytime. Her old man copped it a few years back. I’ve never seen her out with another bloke since so I bet she’s gagging for it too.’
‘She sounds more like my type.’ Austin was still following Becky’s disappearing form though.
Danny grinned. He papped his horn loud and long and waved as Becky looked back before vanishing around the corner out of view. ‘She’ll do for me. I’ll have her by the end of the week.’
As Danny sped off up the road, Austin remained silent in thought. For now he would let Danny keep Becky warm for him. Then when the timing was right, Becky would be his. She would do just fine.
Sitting on her bed, Liz logged on to her email account and sighed when she saw three more emails from Kevin. None of them had a subject heading but each of them had the same content in the body. She flicked onto the first one and scanned it quickly. You will come back… I need you here with me… you won’t stop me from seeing my daughter…
She flipped down the lid of her laptop, wondering if he’d eventually get fed up of harassing her. Earlier that morning, she’d been researching domestic violence. This obsession he had with her could go on forever. She couldn’t bear the thought of it. What gave a man the right to do that to a woman? Yet again she wished she’d noticed the signs before she’d married him. What she’d seen as gestures of love and affection were really ways of controlling her, possessing her, making her into his own. From the first day she’d met him, Kevin had been protective. When was it that everything had gone wrong? All she had wanted was to be loved, not controlled. Not bullied, not owned.
As she looked down, she noticed Chloe’s pink Barbie notepad tucked under the mattress. She pulled it out and flicked through the pages, smiling at the handwriting of a child who was trying hard to make it look grown up. There were lots of loops and letters joined together to make it more exciting.
But just as quickly, her smile dropped as she read the words on one particular page:
My dad has found out where me and my mum are living. Cathy, that is the lady whose house we are living in. She hit him with a sport stick. I wish my mum had hit my dad with a sport stick. I wish my dad would leave us alone and let mum be happy again. Mum used to smile and laugh. Now Mum is sad. I hear her when she cries at night. She thinks I am asleep but I am not. I think my mum is very brave. Mrs Johnston at school says that mums and dads are splitting up all the time but she didn’t say that dads hit mums. Mum does not know I have seen mum and dad arguing a lot of times. Dad shouted at Mum all the time. Mum tried to make everything happy but nothing was right for Dad. I hate my dad. I wish he would leave my mum alone. I wish we could stay at Cathy’s house for ever.
It took Liz a long time to stop crying after she had finished reading. She knew without a doubt that her daughter’s words would haunt her forever. What image of marriage could they have caused her to carry through her life? How could they have let their relationship have such an impact on her? There was no way she could go back to Kevin now. She needed to be strong for Chloe’s sake.
She gazed around the bedroom. It had been a week since they’d arrived and despite the lack of space, it had become comfortable to her already. She felt safe here. When she had been with Kevin, there was nowhere to hide. Here she could deal with it. As long as he couldn’t get his hands on her, maybe she would grow stronger every day.
Maybe he would get fed up of hanging around for her. And if he didn’t then she would move to somewhere else. Chloe was her future, just as her future plans needed to be for Chloe.
Liz wiped her eyes and prayed that she could follow through with her thoughts. Despite feeling safe, she also knew they’d have to move out soon. Josie Mellor said that she’d find her something as quickly as she could and indeed she was grateful for that. Chloe needed stability after what had happened recently. That essay certainly said as much. She read the words again before slipping the notebook back into its place. Then she thought about what to do next.
Should she confront Chloe? She wondered if maybe she’d wanted her to find it. It would make sense that she’d want to talk about it. But Liz had tried to talk to her about things last night and she’d said she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. She ran her hand through her hair, recalling how secretive she’d been as a child. It might do more harm than good if she were to admit to reading it.
She decided not to do anything for now. She’d concentrate on dealing with Kevin as quickly as possible. At least she hadn’t had to dodge him on her way back this morning. For the past few days, Liz had hidden behind anyone she could so that Kevin couldn’t see her, or if he did, she would be with someone else to stop him threatening her.
Secretly she wished, hoped and prayed that he’d get tired of hanging around the school gates. And as long as she didn’t give him the chance to get her alone, she would be okay.
And the longer she stayed away, the stronger she would become.
Wouldn’t she?
She stood up and wiped away her tears. She would go and visit Josie at the community house – see what help she could offer. And maybe now was the time to start joining some of the courses they were running.
CHAPTER NINE
It didn’t take long before Becky found the courage to venture out again after her recent visit to Shop&Save went without incident. As she began to explore her new surroundings, it was obvious now, even to her, that she hadn’t killed Uncle James as she’d originally thought – or if she had, her father must have buried him in the garden and said nothing, which was even more unlikely. Yet it was really weird that she hadn’t heard anything.
She wondered if her dad was missing her. It had been nearly a month since she’d legged it that night. In the next breath she doubted that very much, but she still liked to think he would. Because, funnily enough, she still missed him. No matter what
he did – or didn’t do – he would always be her flesh and blood. But then too, so was Uncle James. She shivered. Maybe it was best not to think about either of them.
After yesterday’s mission to the shops and back, Becky headed across there again. She walked along Davy Road for a few minutes and then across the grass and down the steps, through the middle of two blocks of flats and past the community house out onto Vincent Square. Thankfully she noticed when she walked into Shop&Save that she didn’t know any of the women who were working that shift. By the time she came out, her bag had a few edible goodies inside it that she’d lifted. She was getting quite a dab hand at it now.
‘Excuse me, Miss,’ a voice said from behind. ‘May I check your bag?’
Becky froze for a second. Oh no! Then she ran.
‘Hey, wait up, you daft cow! I’m only messing.’
She turned to see Danny Bradley grinning at her. He looked cool in a Bench T-shirt and narrow grey jeans and, despite what Jess had said about her making a fool of herself the other night, his eyes lit up as if he was pleased to see her.
‘God, you mad fool.’ She pressed a hand to her chest. ‘You nearly gave me a heart attack.’
‘You should be more careful.’ Danny gave her a smile. ‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you in there. With a face like that, you’re not going to go unnoticed. Where’s your loopy mate?’
‘She’s not my mate.’ Becky assumed he was referring to Jess. ‘I haven’t seen her this morning. I’m sorry about the other night. I didn’t mean to sick up over the seat of your car.’
‘That’s okay. It wasn’t my car anyway, remember? You’re not the only one that’s good at nicking things. Where are you off to?’ Danny took her hand and walked on with her. ‘Anywhere exciting?’
‘No, not really,’ Becky managed to say. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks.
‘How about doing nothing with me for a bit then?’
‘I wouldn’t have thought walking was your style.’
‘It’s not, most of the time. But sometimes I want to do something different.’ He looked at her pointedly. ‘And most of the time, I get to do what I want.’
He leant forward and kissed her lips so lightly that Becky thought she might have imagined it.
‘Do you fancy going for a ride somewhere tonight?’ he asked afterwards.
For a split second, she stalled.
Jess would kill her.
Cathy wouldn’t be too impressed either.
She glanced up, enough to see the flicker of want in Danny’s eyes. An idea popped into her head: maybe she could kill two birds with one stone. She smiled shyly and nodded before she could change her mind.
‘Cool,’ Danny grinned.
Becky felt as if butterflies were flapping around inside her tummy. She’d never been on a date before. She couldn’t wait, even if there would be hell to pay if she was caught. Danny kissed her again as she made her plan to escape. Even if she had to shimmy down the drainpipe by herself, she would get out to see him tonight. After all, she’d only been in trouble that one night so Cathy would think it was Jess that had led her astray.
‘I feel like I’m starting school again,’ Liz told Cathy as she followed her up the path towards the community house. ‘I’m so nervous.’
‘It’ll be fine,’ Cathy soothed as she opened the front door. ‘Josie will sort you out. Besides, it’s usually quieter in here around lunch time.’
Liz left her nerves in the street and headed in after Cathy. The community house had originally been two semi-detached properties. Doorways had been knocked through from kitchen to kitchen, giving the house six rooms and two bathrooms upstairs, two kitchen areas and two meeting rooms downstairs. The inner wall between the hallways had been removed making a double staircase with one entrance.
Liz spotted the signs on the wall in front of her: Kids with an arrow to the right and Adults with an arrow to the left. She could hear the deep thud of the base music in the background as they went through the door on the left.
‘Hello, ladies,’ said a young man with short, spiked hair and an abundance of tattoos and piercings. He was sitting behind a desk.
‘Hey, Justin. Is Josie in? She told me she’d be around this morning.’
Justin pointed to a table by his side with a drinks machine. ‘Help yourself and I’ll get her for you.’
Liz sat down on one of two settees pushed back against the wall, a computer terminal at a desk to her right. The room was painted a pale yellow, making it welcoming but not hiding scuff marks here and there, and causing her to wonder how many people came through it every day. Over the fireplace, a notice board advertised local college courses, imminent meetings and places to find advice. A radio played low in the background. Above the door in this room, the sign said No kids allowed.
A few minutes later, Josie clicked across the laminate floor towards them.
‘Liz!’ She smiled as she drew level and held out a hand. ‘We’ve finally got you here.’
‘Hi.’ Liz shook it timidly, unable to stop shaking.
Josie clasped her other hand around Liz’s. ‘Hey, no need to be nervous about anything while you’re here,’ she reassured. ‘We’re one big happy family.’
‘Actually, she’s right.’ Justin joined them again. ‘She’s like my mother – a bloody slave driver.’
Josie raised her eyebrows. ‘I suppose you’ve met the apple of my eye.’
‘Apple of your eye, my arse,’ Justin quipped. He grabbed a ringing phone. ‘Good morning, you’re through to the community house. How may I help you?’
‘Right,’ said Cathy. ‘I’m off next door to see what’s going on.’ She checked her watch. ‘See you back here in half an hour?’
‘What can I do for you?’ Josie asked Liz after they’d gone upstairs into her office and made themselves comfortable. ‘Please tell me you want to attend one of my women in crisis sessions.’
‘Is that okay?’ Liz asked. ‘You don’t do them in batches, do you?’
‘No, you can join in whenever you like.’ Josie took a folder from a drawer in her desk and handed it to Liz. ‘I made the course that way on purpose. You can also come for one week or one hundred weeks. It’s up to you.’
‘Will I have to talk about anything in particular?’
‘Oh no. Not unless you want to.’
‘It’s hard sometimes.’ Liz looked out of the window for a moment, concentrating on a young mum walking by, dragging her toddler along by the side of another child in a pushchair. ‘God, I’m so embarrassed, having to say all of this,’ she added.
Josie sat forward. ‘Please don’t be. Once you get to know some of the women here, they’ll open up and tell you their stories. The important thing is that you’re not the only one that something bad has happened to. And I think it’ll do you good to hear that. And to talk to people who’ve been through it. I’ll introduce you to Suzie: she’ll tell you her story. It’s a heart-breaking tale but Suzie has come out fighting. She’s a different woman from the one I met last year.’
Josie paused a minute. ‘I’m glad you came at last.’ She smiled warmly when Liz didn’t speak. ‘I knew something was going on, even though you couldn’t tell me. I remember the last time when I visited –’
Liz held up a hand for her to stop. There were tears in her eyes as she recalled the situation Josie was referring to. Josie had been called out from the housing association because someone had complained about the noise again. She and Kevin had been arguing then too. But when he answered the door, Kevin had denied everything being suggested. Liz heard Josie ask to see her and eventually Kevin called her through. Her face had clear marks where his fingers had pressed into her cheeks. Luckily for her, Josie had known better than to question Kevin there and then.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Josie. ‘I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories.’
‘I just don’t want to be reminded of it,’ Liz explained.
‘Then are you sure you’re ready to come to the ses
sions? Sometimes they can be pretty distressing. Very up-lifting as well, but often heart-breaking. Will you be able to deal with that?’
‘I have to. I need to build up my confidence. I’d like to get a job, something part-time maybe, to work around Chloe’s school hours.’
‘This will certainly get you on that road to recovery.’ Josie smiled encouragingly. ‘Is there anything else that you need to know for now?’
‘Yes. I’m sure when I move from Cathy’s that Kevin will find out where I am. And I’m bloody well not moving out of the area. So…’ Liz glanced down for one split second before sitting upright with assertion. ‘How do I go about getting an injunction or a harassment order or whatever?’
Later that evening, Becky stood in front of the tiny wardrobe mirror in her room checking her appearance meticulously. She wore Jess’s lipstick. She wore Jess’s mascara, Jess’s blusher and eyeshadow and she had Jess’s black and white top on too. She also still had the shoes that she’d been lent. The only thing she could call her own was her trashy underwear.
She pulled up the top and stared down at the once-white bra, one of the only items of clothing she’d arrived at Cathy’s with. It certainly wasn’t seducing material: she’d have to remember not to take off her top. Either that or she’d have to whip her bra off if Danny did.
Thinking of Danny made her recall the kiss they’d shared that morning. She knew from its intensity that he wanted more. So everything had to be just perfect if she was going to have sex with him tonight. If she didn’t look her best, she knew he’d swap her for the more experienced Jess in an instant. Her hands shook as she ran her fingers over her hair again, trying to tame down a few unruly hairs. Had she got enough guts to go through with her plan? It was quite simple really. She would sleep with Danny Bradley and then she would forget everything her uncle had done to her. The memory would be erased. Then maybe she wouldn’t feel so cheap.