Moments Lost and Found

by Olivia Jake

  “Ugh!” Sam threw her arms up.

  “Truth hurts?” Steve asked in a way only he could without her killing him.

  “It’s supposed to make things easier, Steve, clearer. Work, over here.” Sam made a box with her hands to one side, “Personal, over here” and she did the same on the other side. “See how neat and clean that is?”

  “Are you trying to convince me or you?” Steve asked, eyebrows raised as he shrugged his shoulders. At that point, Alex came happily bounding over,

  “Ready? You going to join us, Steve?”

  “I think Sammy here could use a little girl time. Yeah, yeah, insert gay joke here.” They all chuckled, “Plus, this means I get to go home early for once!” he winked at Sam. She smiled at him and whispered “thank you” as she gave him a hug goodbye. He said his goodbyes to Alex and the crew, “See everyone bright an early tomorrow!”

  Alex linked arms with Sam and said, “Ok, come on you. Let’s go get you a margarita and a shot and see if we can’t figure out this whole boyfriend dilemma!” Sam couldn’t help but smile. Alex’s happy disposition was infectious and if anyone needed an infusion of light and happy, it was Sam.

  CHAPTER 15

  “Cheers!” Alex and Sam smiled at each other as they raised their margaritas in a toast. Sam licked the salt off her lips and savored the flavor for a moment before she reached for her Tecaté. Alex shook her head and laughed.

  “I was born with two hands, might as well use ‘em.” Sam said. It was nice being with a girlfriend, and so rare for Sam. She was relaxed with Laurent, well sometimes. But the ease with Alex was just what Sam needed.

  “Sam, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the one woman I know who’s even more decisive than I am. So the fact that you couldn’t decide between a margarita and a beer… and ended up ordering both, um…”

  “You know what, Alex. Honestly, it wasn’t indecision so much as I wanted them both!” Sam shrugged and took another sip of her margarita.

  “I’m not sure which I should be more concerned about then, indecision or gluttony!” they both laughed. The bartender placed some chips and salsa in front of them and Sam immediately reached for the chips,

  “Gluttony. Definitely, gluttony.”

  “Ok, Sam, so all I know about your boyfriend is what I’ve read in the trades. I mean, I’ve seen pictures of you both at openings and I know a little about him, but tell me!”

  Sam smiled and rolled her eyes a bit at the mention of their pictures together, “You know, Alex, I’ve never been the boyfriend / girlfriend kind of girl…”

  “One of the many reasons we get along so well!” Alex held out her drink and they clinked glasses as Sam nodded.

  “Exactly! So this whole thing is new territory for me. But the fact that it’s mingled with work, I’m just all f-d up.” Sam paused to take a sip of her beer and eat another couple of chips, “Actually, that’s not true. Most of the time, it’s amazing. Better than amazing. I never thought I’d ever like being with someone as much as I do with him.”

  “So what’s the problem then?” Alex asked sincerely.

  Sam took a deep breath. She was surprised how happy she was to be talking about this to a woman and someone she knew put career very high on her list. “Without going into the whole story, the short version is, when we started seeing each other, I was torn because I was worried about how it would look, sleeping with my client and all.” Alex nodded understanding.

  Sam continued, “But there were some circumstances that are too much to go into and after keeping it quiet at first, we became public and I’ve been adjusting to the fact that I’m part of a couple, which again, is all just weird to me. Then, add in that he’s semi-famous, and that he’s my client…So it’s all been a lot to process but it’s been so good that I’m kind of amazed at how I’m adapting to it.” Alex laughed out loud. Sam furrowed her brows, “What!”

  “You say you’re ‘adapting to it’ like you’re adapting to losing a leg or something horrible!” Alex continued giggling, which made Sam laugh. God, she could use some of Alex’s light-heartedness once in a while.

  “Ok, I’m sorry, go on.” Alex said.

  Sam shook her head, “No, no, it’s fine, you’re right. Anyway, my big hang up is that with it being what it is, I feel like I really have to keep our working relationship separate from our personal life. But the longer we’re together, the more forced that seems. I mean, both of our work is such a big part of who we are, I’m starting to think I’m being kind of an idiot about keeping this line in the sand.”

  Alex nodded and said, “Look, when was the last time you knew me to be in a relationship?” Sam started thinking when Alex finished her thought, “Exactly. So I’m not an expert here on relationships by any means, but it sounds like you guys are, as you say, adapting,” Alex smirked when she said that, “as you go along.” Then she thought for a minute and asked, “Let me ask you this: how does he feel about merging the two?”

  Sam was actually stumped. She wasn’t sure. She knew he didn’t want to discuss other clients during his meeting time, which was fair enough, but now that she thought about it, was she the only one with the issue? And, if he were ok with a blending of the two, or at least to not treat her like a stranger during meetings, what would that look like?

  “Talented and smart! This round’s on me, Alex.” Sam said, smiling at her friend. Alex lifted her glass as a thank you.

  “I’m not sure that I actually gave you any advice there, Sam. I have one more question, and then I’m going to have to keep it to just one drink. You know I’ve got to get home to the entire menagerie, plus we’ve got an early call time tomorrow.”

  “How many animals at the Marché shelter currently?” Sam asked as Alex laughed.

  “Two dogs, three and a half cats.” Before Sam could ask, “One cat’s a stray who won’t let me near her, but I feed her every morning and we’re making progress, she’s coming closer and closer, but so far, no contact.” Sam nodded and understood a fellow animal lover. “Ok, my question is, do you love him?”

  Sam nodded immediately. “Alex, I swear I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. You’re probably the only other woman I know who understands this — I wasn’t looking for a relationship, for someone to ‘complete’ me. But, I can’t imagine my life without him now.”

  “Wow. Coming from you, Sam…” Alex did understand. “Now I see the reason for the beer and the margarita!” she winked and Sam laughed.

  Sam paid for their drinks and they walked back to the studio. “Thanks, Alex. I really appreciate you letting me talk. I just realized that it was all about me, God I’m a jerk.” Alex shot her a look and shook her head.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the one with the interesting boyfriend dilemma. When I’ve got one that warrants a beer and a margarita, you’re the first person I’m calling!” she smiled as she pointed at Sam.

  “Deal! Thank you again, Alex.” Sam held out her arms and they hugged a tight hug. “I know we say this every time we see each other, but let’s try to get together more often. Not just at shoots.” Alex nodded,

  “Definitely.” She smiled back at Sam and then said, “Hey, Sam, I’m happy for you. I’m happy you have someone in your life who means as much as Laurent does to you. You deserve it. You’re one of the good ones.”

  Sam chuckled as she could feel small tears well up, “Oh, shit, Alex. First I get a boyfriend and now you make me get all teary! I’m turning into a girl!” they both laughed and then watched each other get into their respective cars and drove off.

  CHAPTER 16

  That Friday, after Sam got back to her office from her meeting with Laurent, the minute her IM became active, he IM’d her.

  LR: Samantha, will you be able to spend the day with me tomorrow?

  SD: Yes.

  LR: Good. I have a surprise.

  SD: J You didn’t want to ask me when I was just there?

  LR: I am respecting your church and stat
e wishes, Cheri.

  SD: Merci

  LR: De rien. See you tonight.

  When Sam got to Laurent’s that night, he had a fire going and greeted her with a long hug. As he held her, it was as if he was breathing her in, just standing there holding her. When they broke free he looked down and sweetly smiled as he gave her a light kiss on her lips and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. He was looking at her with such warmth and intensity that it scared Sam. She returned his smile as he put his arm around her and led her into the kitchen where he was cooking.

  Laurent had gotten into the habit of leaving work early, or early for the industry, on Friday nights and cooking for them. Friday mornings they had their standing meetings and Friday evenings they had a standing date, almost always at his house unless an event or travel interfered. It was nice for both of them to wind down their week with each other in the relaxation of his home.

  So the fact that she found him cooking was not unusual. But his demeanor was. Though, over the last few months, with the exception of a few hiccups, Sam noticed Laurent becoming more and more calm.

  “Du vin, Cheri?”

  “Oui, si tu plait, merci” she said as he poured her a glass. She sat at the counter watching him cook. He seemed relaxed and content.

  “How is the pitch coming?” Now Sam was really scared. He was asking about another account? And he seemed genuine in his question.

  “Ummm, fine?”

  “You don’t know, Samantha?”

  “I know how it’s going, I’m just surprised you’re asking about it. I know you don’t love the idea of my time taken away from working on The Network.”

  “Church and State, Cheri. I know you’re working on it, I care about you, which means I care about what’s going on it your life. I’m not going to stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist. And I know you, and how immersed you get in your work, so I want to know.”

  How very reasonable of him, Sam thought. There didn’t seem to be any underlying current of anything other than genuine concern. “They’re supposed to make their decision in the next couple of weeks. They’ve promised us no more revisions and that it’s between us and one other agency. I’ve talked with Mark and they’ve told him the same thing, so it must be between us two, which, if it has to go to someone else, I’d want Mark to get it. Honestly, they’ve dragged this thing out so long that it’s hard to be passionate about it at this point, but it would be really good for the agency, so even though they’ve been a pain in the ass, I still want it.”

  “Then I hope you win it.” He smiled at her and then asked, “Cheri, would you grab the bread and some olive oil and put it on the table?” Ummm, ok, Sam thought. Who is this man and where is Laurent?

  “Laurent?” Sam asked once they were at the table. She was taking all of this in. Her conversation with Alex the other night. And now Laurent’s openness.

  “Samantha?” she must have been obvious that she wanted to talk about something significant.

  “If I hadn’t made such a big deal about keeping our work and personal lives separate, how would our meetings be different?”

  Laurent took a sip of his wine and thought about it, “I don’t know, Cheri. I think our meetings have, shall we say, run the gamut, non?” he smirked, “I think our Friday morning meetings have evolved, so perhaps not that much different at all, why?”

  Sam shrugged, “I’m just wondering if, at this stage of our relationship, if I’ve been a little, um, rigid about the whole thing?” he laughed.

  “Samantha, I know that keeping it separate has been very important to you, so I haven’t pushed. If it were important to me to have it be otherwise, I would have, eh, strongly encouraged change, shall we say,” he smiled as he tried to be diplomatic, “However, the other day in my office, if you want us to pretend like we don’t have this,” he pointed to her and then back at himself, “then that is what it will look like. I don’t particularly like being like that with you, but you should know that’s who I am with most everyone else.” He saw Sam cringe a little at the mention of the other day. The more she thought about it, the clearer it became that it was absurd to act like they were strangers.

  He took another sip of wine, clearly still thinking and then added, “I know you’re not going to like what I’m about to say,” Sam thought, ok, here it comes, “Two things: first, I think you think too much about it. No one is going to think there’s any impropriety, but more than that, Samantha, it’s only you and me in those meetings. I’m never sure who you’re worried about impressing the fact upon that you’re there for business and not as my girlfriend.” He smiled. She couldn’t help but smile either. She felt like an idiot.

  “And second, I know you well enough by now to know there are some decisions that you need to come to on your own. You need to be comfortable with them. Especially this one.”

  He knew she was struggling with this, so he added, “But I just think this is one more thing that will adapt with us as we grow and we’ll figure it out.”

  Sam wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, but she liked the sound of it. She liked the idea that he was open to discussing it and understood if she wanted, needed to change her ways.

  Then he smirked like he had his own private joke. Sam asked, “What are you thinking?”

  “Just that, you’re so uncomfortable with being ‘familiar’ with me as it relates to work, but there are other things that you’re surprisingly comfortable with. Things, uh, I would not have anticipated you being so comfortable, so willing, so eager.” Sam blushed and Laurent chuckled as he lifted his glass to hers.

  They spent the rest of the evening talking and eating, and then relaxing on the couch by the fire. Sam was so relaxed in fact that she fell asleep on Laurent’s chest as he stroked her hair. She was awoken to him whispering, “Wake up, Cheri, come, let’s go to bed.” Sam looked up at him and as she lifted her face off his chest she realized she drooled on him. He looked at her and then down at his chest and laughed, then he sweetly wiped the corner of her mouth before they got up off the couch and went up to bed.

  When they got into bed, Laurent looked at her and said, “I’m not worried about you figuring out our work relationship. I know you’ll get there.” He kissed her and then said, “I’ll wait till you do, because,” he paused, “because I’ve never before wanted to share my life with anyone, Cheri. But with you, I want to share it all.” Sam didn’t know what to say so she just smiled and kissed him. And then he made love to her.

  The next morning, Sam went home to take care of her boys and to go for a long run before going back to Laurent’s for the ‘surprise.’ She couldn’t help but replay the previous night over and over in her head as she ran. She wasn’t sure what was going on, or if their relationship was just progressing? Everything with Laurent was uncharted territory, so this slow, subtle change in him wasn’t new. Correction, the demeanor was, his changing wasn’t.

  When she got back from her run, there was a text from him:

  LR: Bring the boys. We’re going to the winery.

  SD: Ok, see you soon.

  Hmmm, obviously the winery wasn’t a surprise. She’d been there twice now, the first time, and then at harvest which was a blast. Hard work, but so much fun, so much excitement and energy in the air. She had really enjoyed it. Then again, she really enjoyed most everything with him.

  Laurent knew how important Max and Ben were to Sam, and he knew that she didn’t spend as much time with them as she used to because of the nights she spent with him, so even the smallest gesture like including them meant he was thinking of her. He knew her.

  Spring had sprung so the hills were a beautiful green dotted with white and yellow wildflowers. They chatted easily, but mostly drove up the coast in comfortable silence, Laurent’s hand never leaving Sam’s. Neither of them had much chance for downtime or quiet in their lives, and while they enjoyed each other’s company, they both also enjoyed peace and quiet and nature. As long as Sam had lived in LA,
and as many times as she made the drive north, she never tired of its beauty, its serenity.

  Like the two times before, they stopped at the little grocery store on the way up to get some bread, cheese, olives and the like for a picnic. As soon as they got to the winery, Sam noticed the difference in the vines. Her first time there was in late August, right before harvest, and the vines were full of grapes but not completely ripe yet. Then, again in October, they were full again with the cabernet grapes a deep purple. Now, in April, the vines were bare with no fruit on them, while yellow mustard wildflowers grew in between the rows. The change in the scenery was dramatic.

  Upon their arrival, they were once again greeted by José, who was still afraid of Max and Ben. Sam understood, they could be intimidating boys. Just like Laurent, she thought to herself. They could be mean and ruthless, with a dangerous reputation, but so tender and protective and loving. She chuckled to herself, some women fall for men like their fathers, Sam was falling for one like her dogs.

  They exchanged pleasantries with José, and José seemed to sport a knowing grin as he looked at Sam. While she spoke Spanish, José was speaking in a hushed tone with Laurent so that she couldn’t hear. Apparently, he was in on the surprise.

  Laurent suggested that Sam take the picnic items to the table out back and wait with the boys for him there. When he came out to meet them, he couldn’t hide the pride on his face as he held two bottles. One was white, which he put on the table, the other he held down by his side.

  “You remember during harvest there were a few acres that were exceptional, oui?” Sam nodded. At the time, she couldn’t tell the difference, but everyone else who knew their grapes seemed to be very impressed. They separated out those grapes from the others. “Those acres will make a few dozen bottles of what will be our first Estate Cabernet. It won’t be ready for a year or two, and then probably shouldn’t be at its peak for a while after, but if we’re right, it’s going to be spectacular.”