by JA Huss
I scowl at her in the rear view.
“You killed all the other what?” Harper asks now.
Fuck.
“Assassins.” Sasha again. “He’s supposed to be the only one left besides Merc. So I’m just curious, why Merc? Because he’s not a nice guy. He’s not a good guy. He’s not a Company guy either. He’s nasty and mean and since I knew all those other assassins you took out, even if it was just casually, I just don’t get it.”
I say nothing. Because this is yet another puzzle piece that requires some thinking. How the fuck does this kid know so much about my business? And who the fuck is setting me up? And if Sasha and I are actually working for the same person, that’s one thing. But I’m not getting the impression that’s the case. In fact, all my previous loyalties are coming into question at the moment. Who do I trust? Whose plan is this?
“There’s more, you know,” Sasha continues in the wake of my silence.
“More what?” I laugh out the words in an attempt to feign amusement.
“More assassins. More than you know of. Lots more.”
I am not amused. “I don’t want to talk about it, OK? Just a couple more hours and we’ll be in Palm Springs. Until then, shut the fuck up.”
“James,” Harper says in a calm voice. “It’s better if we all know what’s going on.”
“The Smurf back there is the only one who knows what’s going on, why not ask her.”
“He’s crazy,” Sasha says as Harper turns back to her. “They’re all crazy. You had to have seen them growing up, right? Even if it was just briefly, you had to have seen them. It’s not easy to miss the fact that you have to be psychotic to do a job like this.”
“Sasha, I’m not gonna say it again. Shut the fuck up. I’m not the crazy one here, OK?” I look over at Harper and she’s got that look in her eyes again. That same look she had back in Huntington when she was trying to figure out if she was my target. And she has no fucking right. No fucking right. “I’m not the one who just jumped off the roof of a moving vehicle to tackle a dirt bike. I’m not the one who just snapped a man’s neck like it was nothing. I’m not the one who’s been living in the middle of nowhere for three months. You two”—I point to Harper and then jerk my thumb in the direction of the back seat—“you fucking girls are the crazy ones.”
“Hmmm,” is all Harper says.
Sasha keeps her mouth shut for once.
And that’s how they leave it. With me being a dick.
I try to forget about the question and just drive. I don’t want to fight with Harper. She’s the only fucking reason I’m doing any of this. Fighting with her defeats every objective I have. I just want to get out of this goddamned sun, close the curtains, make everything dark, and—
“I think I know why he didn’t kill Merc.”
“Why?” Harper asks quickly, turning around to see Sasha.
“Because Merc is gonna kill him.”
“That’s fucking it!” I swerve the Hummer over to the almost nonexistent shoulder, and slam on the brakes. “You shut your fucking mouth, kid. Or I swear to fucking God, I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” Harper asks, her eyebrows raised up to the ceiling. “She’s got legitimate questions, James. And to be honest, I’m interested in the answers. Who was the guy who took her? And why was he sending me messages?”
“Harper, use your fucking brain. Why do you think he was sending you messages?”
“Why? If he knew where to find me, then why didn’t he just take me? Why play this game? I’m sure my father has a reward out. Or a hit.”
“Oh, is that where we’re at again? You think I’m here to kill you? Did you know the Smurf is a killer too? Or did you not put that two plus two together yet?”
“Don’t insult me, Tet. I figured that out, thanks.”
“Then maybe you’re her target and not mine? How about that?”
“So why hasn’t she killed me?”
“I haven’t killed you either, but you still think that’s my job. And while we’re all playing let’s-confess-to-shit-we’re-not-doing, what’s your job, Harper? Who the fuck are you and your brother after?”
“Oh, snap!” Sasha says.
“Shut up!” Harp and I yell together.
“She’s playing us, you do realize that, right? I mean, you can see that now, right? She’s egging us on, making us fight.”
“I’m just trying to tell you something,” Sasha squeals. “Something you don’t know but I do. And you know what? Forget it. You don’t deserve my help if you’re gonna treat me like a traitor! I was kidnapped for her!” She shoves Harper on the shoulder and Harp slaps her hand off, turning around like she’s gonna dive back there and start a real fight.
“Sit back, Harper,” I growl as I yank her by the arm and push her against the door. I pull back onto the road before one of these girls decides to get out of the car. I am not in the mood to chase them down in this heat.
“I don’t want to travel with you anymore,” Harper says as she crosses her arms and turns her back to me. “I’m leaving when we get back to civilization.”
“I’m leaving too. I’d rather die than go back to Merc. I’ll find Ford on my own.”
Called that one.
Fuck. Thirty minutes ago I was having warm fuzzies for that little brat and dreaming about Harper’s lips wrapped around my cock. And now this.
I drive in silence as the anger and resentment lingers in the air like a cloud of dust. I roll over all the possibilities in my head, replay the conversation to figure out where it all went wrong. And then make a decision to take one for the team. “OK,” I say.
“OK, what?” Harper asks without looking at me.
“Two years ago,” I start. “Two years ago I had a meeting about my brother.” I check Harper in my peripheral vision, then the rear view. Both girls are listening, I know that much.
“Lots of people wanted him dead and I can’t say I disagreed. He was one fucked-up individual. I admit, I am one fucked-up individual. But Tony… Tony was the worst of all of us. He was too young when he started doing jobs. Three years younger than me, and I was only sixteen. I was sent away, learned my trade and completed my contracts in faraway places, filled with faces I never cared about. Entire populations of people who meant nothing to me. It was a movie. A video game. A book. It was not me killing and they were not real people. But Tony did jobs in fucking San Diego on the weekends and went to school on Monday like he was just another kid. He never had the chance to dissociate.”
“Dissociate?” Sasha asks, leaning forward into the front seat. “What’s that mean?”
“They tell me,” I continue, irritated with her, “they being the Company shrinks—that the dissociation from society is normal. Key, really. It’s the only way to kill people for a living and not go off the rails. Of course, we all go off the rails. That’s why there’s only two of us left. And I’m the only one still here.”
“You really killed them all?” Harper asks, appalled.
“I really did.”
“But,” Sasha interrupts, “there’s more than ten assassins, James.”
“Thank you, Sasha. I’m so fucking glad you’re here to school me.” I catch her rolling her eyes in the rear-view. “I know there’s more than ten fucking assassins.”
“Who gave you those jobs?” Harper asks.
I don’t look at her as the words come out. I just stare straight ahead. “Your father.”
“Why?”
“I have no idea. I just do what I’m told.”
“You’re lying,” Harper says. Her anger is almost dripping off her, that’s how hot she is right now. “You’re lying and I’m sick of it. Just tell me what the hell is going on before you get us all killed!”
“Harper, believe me, if I fucking knew, I would. But I don’t know what’s going on.”
“What if more assassins show up?” Sasha asks. “What do we do then?”
“You don’t do anything. You let me handle them
.”
“Pow,” Sasha says quietly as she shoots her finger at the windshield, her arm extending between Harper and me. “They’ll be dead with a shot to the head.” She laughs a little and sits back. “He’s probably gonna kill Nick, Harper. Just like you killed your brother, huh, Tet?”
I don’t take her bait. I let it ride. Because if I stop right now, I’ll snap her little Smurf neck and leave her body in the desert.
Chapter Thirty-One - Harper
Just like your brother… I replay that sentence in my head over and over. She emphasized your when she said that. But why be so obvious? This kid is confusing me. One second she’s on our side—if we even have a side—and then the next minute she’s not. She’s creating problems for James on purpose, like she’s warning me not to trust him.
And this just pisses me off. That this stupid thirteen-year-old girl thinks I’m dumb. Of course, I do my best to play dumb, and in fairness, she didn’t catch the show when I snapped the guy’s neck during the daring rescue. So I should cut her some slack.
But nothing about this group makes sense. Nothing about what we’re doing makes sense. If James is after Nick because my father ordered a contract on him like the other assassins, then why all this bullshitting around? I have no idea where Nick is. I’m pretty sure he’s not waiting for us in Palm Springs at this Merc guy’s house. So… “What the hell are we doing?”
“Taking a piss, Harper,” James says as he pulls off the road and into a parking lot and stops the Hummer in front of a place that claims to be a visitor center. There are two cars in the parking lot. Including us. “They have food here too. Next chance is couple hours away.”
“I want food!” Sasha says as she opens her door and jumps out. I open mine as well, and the heat blast is so powerful I almost can’t breathe. All three of us hurry under the shade of the front awning and then sigh with relief when we enter the air-conditioned building.
“Here,” James says to Sasha as he thrusts some cash at her. “Get something for everyone.” She smiles at the bills and then trots away. I’m still watching her, wondering about her story, when James tugs me off in the other direction. We head towards the bathrooms and just as I’m about to pull away and go into the ladies, he ushers me into the men’s with him.
“What are you doing?” I push him off me, but it’s too late. He’s already got both my wrists and I’m being forced back against the wall. “Really?” I laugh. “You’re gonna take me by force in a government building?”
He glares at me, those hypnotic green eyes of his deathly serious. I shut my fucking mouth and stare back. Is this a fight?
“You still think I’m a rapist?”
“You have a thing for manhandling me,” I snap back. I have lost my patience with this man.
“Why are you with me then, Harper? Because you might not think I know you very well, and that’s probably true, I’ve been a watcher in this relationship so far. And one day a year and three months of stalking barely count. But here’s what I do know about you. You might not be able to kill me outright, but you’d put up a damn good fight. And if you didn’t want to be in this restroom with me, you’d be somewhere else right now.”
I yank my wrists free and push him off me with two solid palms to the chest. He rocks back just far enough so I can slip under his arms, and I turn to stare at him. “You’re right. I would, so what do you want?”
“Your brother is not my hit.”
“The hell he’s not! Even I can figure that shit out.”
“Even you?” James laughs. “Please. Spare me the stupid blonde routine, OK? I know better.”
“You were contracted to kill all the other assassins and that includes Nick, doesn’t it?”
“No,” he says, the clenching of his jaw a warning that I’m beginning to push him.
“You’re lying.”
“So I’m a liar now too? A rapist and a liar.”
“Don’t forget brother-killer. Or was that a lie too? Is he still alive?” The look I get in response almost makes me piss myself. But it’s too late now, so I take it a step further to see how much James can take. “If you’ll fulfill a contract on your own brother, then what’s to stop you from doing the same to mine?”
He turns away from me, walks to the door, reaches for the knob, and then he twists the lock and turns back. “Loyalty.” And to my surprise, his one-word answer is low, almost a whisper, yet powerful enough to make me pause. “I’m a loyal employee. But I’ve only ever worked for one guy. Myself. My brother broke his word to me. He killed someone I cared about in front of my face. He was about to steal his ex-girlfriend and baby away from a safe home and bring them into a life that would get them both killed in a matter of weeks. So regardless of how you feel about what I did, my brother had to die to save these other two people. It was a call I made in the heat of the moment. I saw a chance to set things right for my niece, to free her from Company life, and I took it. You of all people should understand what that little girl’s life would be like if the Company got a hold of her. If she fucking lived. Because I had a little sister and she sure the fuck isn’t around anymore. So if my little niece was taken, she’d be promised to some old fuck as soon as the next assassin got a hold of Tony. So I’m not fucking sorry. He’s dead. I did it. And it was the right thing to do.”
I hold my breath through that entire explanation and then it comes out in a rush as he finishes. His jaw and fists are clenching in unison, like he’s got so much tension and rage building, he has to let it out slowly and with complete control. Otherwise he might explode. “Who do you work for?” I finally manage.
“Me. I work for me. How about you? Who do you work for?”
“I don’t work for anyone. I’m not a hired killer.” I snarl out the words, but it has no effect on him.
“No, you kill for free. You kill for yourself. So it looks like we’ve got something in common after all.”
I huff out a few incredulous breaths at that remark. “Boy, Sasha is right. You are delusional if you think my escaping a life of sexual slavery with some old man—”
“I’m not that old—”
“Tet,” I cut him off. “You are insane if you think my father was giving me to you. OK? No offense, because you’re hot and I’d go back and do it all differently if I thought you really were the guy I was promised to. But there’s no possible way on earth that’s the case. OK? So yeah, I killed a bunch of people to get away. And I’m not sorry either. I’d do it again and never think twice!”
I bite my lip as my hysterical words echo off the tiled walls for a moment, and then the place goes quiet.
He takes three quick steps towards me and I back up instinctively, but I hit the sink. And then before I can come up with another plan, he’s pressed up against me, standing over me almost. His stare is captivating because everything about his expression, his body language, his breathing—all of it says this moment counts. His hands hover over my shoulders and then he gives me a crooked smile.
“Harper,” he says calmly.
“What?” I snap again.
“I want you. I’m going to touch you. I’m not fighting with you anymore. It’s a waste of time. I’m going to fuck the shit out of you right here, right now. In this goddamned desert shithole bathroom even though you deserve to be fucked on a tropical beach or somewhere with a mountain view, or, hell, even the goddamned Hummer would be better than right here. But you know what?”
I swallow down my surprise. “What?”
“You gotta make the most of what you got. And we’re not on a tropical beach or in front of a goddamned beautiful mountain. And fucking Smurfette is probably out in the Hummer. So this is all I got.”
“None of this has anything to do with the fight we’re having.”
He smiles and then nods at me. “Oh yes, it does. Because here’s the thing, Harp. We are about to have makeup sex. Right the fuck now. And if you don’t want me to do that, then feel free to finish this fight properly. You ready?”
“So you’re gonna force me.”
“I’ll count to three so you can have a few more moments to decide. One.”
My heart begins to beat wildly. “What the hell—”
“Two.” His hands are still hovering above my shoulders but now they slowly descend to rest on my upper arms. “Three.”
I expect to be turned around, pushed against the sink, and fucked from behind.
But that’s not what I get at all.
His hands descend down my bare arms, stopping at the elbow for a brief moment to caress the soft skin on the underside. And then they continue down to my waist. He eases them underneath my tank top, and then places both palms flat against my skin. “I’ll take that as permission to proceed, but feel free to stop me at any time.” And then his strong hands grab my waist and place my ass on the edge of the sink. He cups my face and leans in, his lips lightly touching mine.
I kiss him back. With tongue.
I can feel the smile on his lips. Because he knows I gave in with that tongue. He won this fight hands down. I am out for the count before the bell even rings.
“I win,” he whispers into my mouth. “I’m not here to fight with you. I’m not here to trick you. I’m not here to kill your pain-in-the-ass piece-of-shit brother. I’m here for you, Harper. And that’s all there is to it. And if I have to yank your cute little ass into a roadside bathroom to make you understand that, I will. Every single time. I will. You and me,” he says, pointing to each of us. “We are the only ones who matter.”
I shake my head as I try and absorb this. “I don’t understand any of this, James. Why, why, why? All I want to know is why?”
“Why, Harper? I have no why answers. Your father, your brother, Sasha probably, they have the why answers. But your father and brother are lying and Sasha is very close to copping out on her own. So we’re gonna let all this run its course and you’re gonna follow my lead.”
I don’t know what to say. Some of this makes sense. Especially Sasha. She wants to tell us what she knows, but she’s holding out for reasons that have nothing to do with loyalty to the people working against us. She’s holding out until she can trust us. So he’s right about that.