by Donna Alward
‘Can I help you build it?’ Ty breathed, his eyes alight.
‘I’ll definitely need a helper—a foreman. It’s a big job, Ty, and I’ll need your help.’
Ty’s eyes grew as big as cabbages, his chest puffed out. That awe hit Cam again as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Surveying Krissie’s dream chicken coop, and doing his best to keep his eyes from the plump temptation of Tess’s lips, he placed an order at the stock and station store.
* * *
They spent the afternoon on Phase One of the chicken coop. Tess couldn’t believe Cam’s patience with Ty or the way her nephew blossomed under his quiet but authoritative guidance. He’d lacked a male role model for so long.
Eventually, though, both children wandered off to check on Old Nelson. And then Ty set about teaching Barney how to play fetch while Krissie fell asleep on the blanket beneath the shade of the lemon tree, leaving Fluffy free to scratch about the yard.
Tess glanced at Cam whistling idly as he nailed boards to the frame he’d built. Something inside her shifted. Ever since that moment yesterday when she’d hugged him, she’d grown increasingly aware of the breadth of his shoulders, of the flex and play of the muscles in his arms, and of the fresh-cut-grass scent that followed in his wake and stirred something to life inside her. Something she desperately tried to ignore.
The sun shone brightly, but not too fiercely, picking out the lighter highlights in his chestnut hair. Fiona had thrown this man over for Lance? Tess snorted. What a loser! The woman quite obviously had her head screwed on backwards. Lance might dazzle with those playboy good looks of his, but when a woman looked at Cam she was left in no doubt that he was all man.
One hundred per cent fit and honed man.
And the longer Tess stared at him, the more that thing inside her stirred and fluttered and stretched itself into heart-beating, mouth-drying sentience.
Thoughts of Lance, though, slid an unwelcome reminder through her. The expression on Lorraine’s face—that mixture of anxiety, regret and heartbreak—rose in her mind and she bit back a sigh.
‘You want to tell me what’s on your mind?’
She blinked, and then realised Cam had caught her out blatantly staring at him. The skin on her face and neck burned. ‘Oh...I...nothing.’
‘Why don’t I believe you?’
He wielded a hammer as if he’d been born to it. She dragged her gaze from muscled forearms lightly dusted with hair, and the pull of lean brown hands. She tried desperately to dispel thoughts of what else those hands might be expert at.
She clenched her eyes shut and counted to five. For pity’s sake! She didn’t need this at the moment—this wild, desperate ache. She needed to remain focused on the children. On not letting Sarah down. On making amends.
‘Tess?’
She went back to tacking chicken wire to the frame of their mansion of a chicken house, the way he’d shown her, but she couldn’t resist another glance at him. The brilliance of his eyes struck her afresh. She swallowed and shrugged. ‘Oh, I was just thinking about stuff you’d no doubt declare me nosy for contemplating.’
He set his hammer down. ‘Like?’
Keep your mouth shut. She set her hammer down too. ‘Like how a man who is as gentle with children and animals as you could just ignore that his mother might be in trouble.’
He stiffened as if she’d slapped him.
‘I said it was nosy,’ she muttered, though she wasn’t certain she was actually apologising.
‘You’re not wrong there.’
Minding her business was the wisest course of action. She knew that. Cam was a grown-up. He knew what he was doing. She swallowed. She used to be really good at minding her own business.
‘You must really hate Lance if you haven’t spoken to him in ten months.’ She shivered. She understood his bitterness. She really did, but... ‘How can you stand to live in the same town as him when you bear that much resentment?’
He eyed her for an interminable moment. It made her chest constrict. ‘I’m not planning on staying for that much longer, Tess.’
He hammered in a nail with more force than necessary, and a sickening thump started up in her stomach. ‘What?’
He set his hammer back down and glared at her. ‘In two months I’ll be out of this godforsaken town and Lance can sink or swim under his own steam. I’ve washed my hands of him and his tantrums and his so-called troubles.’
‘But...’ Cameron couldn’t leave!
‘What about your mother?’ she burst out.
He picked the hammer up again. ‘I expect my leaving will be a blessing for her. With me gone, tensions will ease.’ He hammered in another nail. ‘Besides, like I told you, my mother has made it clear where her loyalties lie.’
Tess’s mouth opened and closed. ‘Can’t you see her loyalties are being torn?’
‘By remaining in the same house as Lance and Fiona she’s given them her tacit approval.’
‘You mother is not the type of woman who would ever kick her offspring out of her house, regardless of what they’ve done.’ She planted her hands on her hips. ‘But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.’ Couldn’t he see that? ‘Do you really mean to make her choose between the two of you? She’s not responsible for the things Lance has done.’
‘My leaving means she won’t have to choose.’
She glanced at Krissie and an ache exploded in her chest. Cam’s anger and bitterness were warping him and tearing him apart. Couldn’t he see that? ‘Oh, Cameron, it’s been ten months.’
He strode around and seized her chin, his eyes blazing. ‘And you naively think that time can heal all wounds?’
His fingers were gentle but his voice was hard. He smelled of wood and grass and sweat.
He paused and she swallowed, aching at the pain she sensed behind the flint of his eyes.
He scanned her face and then released her with a shake of his head. ‘Why does this matter so much to you?’
She had to take a step away from him. He was too...much. Too much for her senses. Too much for her hormones. And the hardness in him clashed too deeply with the places that grieved inside her. ‘I just lost my sister, Cam. I never appreciated her enough. I wish I had but I didn’t. And now I’ve lost her and I can’t get her back.’
He paled.
‘I have no one now but Ty and Krissie. Don’t get me wrong, they make up for everything, but...you have a mother who loves you and I’m jealous.’ She tried to smile. He had a brother too, but she left that unsaid. In his shoes, would she be able to forgive Lance?
His eyes darkened, his hand half lifted as if to touch her cheek...and then he wheeled away.
She hunched her shoulders, wishing she hadn’t started this conversation. Wishing she’d left well alone. She tried to make her voice bright. ‘Where will you go when you leave Bellaroo Creek?’
He turned back. ‘Africa. I’m an advisor for a charity whose mission is to increase agricultural production in Third World countries. I’ve requested a field position.’
‘Wow!’ She stared at him. ‘Just...wow! That’s amazing.’ She swallowed and chafed her arms. ‘What an adventure.’
‘I’m hoping so.’
‘Is it a secret?’
‘I haven’t told anyone, if that’s what you mean.’ He shifted his weight to plant his legs firmly.
She tried another smile and mimicked zipping her mouth shut to let him know she wouldn’t say anything to anyone, and she had a feeling he had to fight back a smile of his own. She’d like to make him smile for real. ‘We’ll miss you, Cameron. You’ve been just about the best neighbour we city slickers could’ve had.’
His eyes widened. He blinked and then they narrowed. It made her want to fidget. Did he think she was making some kind of a move on him? Her spine st
iffened and her chin shot up. ‘You can lose that nasty suspicion right now,’ she shot at him. ‘Even if I was in the market for something more, I’m not stupid enough to get involved with a man on the rebound.’ She folded her arms. ‘In fact, I’m starting to think the sooner you leave, the better!’
He grinned then—a true-blue, solid-gold grin that hooked up his mouth and made his eyes dance. For a moment all Tess could make out was the brightness of the sun, the sound of the breeze playing through the leaves of the lemon tree and the force of that smile. She blinked and the rest of the world slowly surged back into focus.
‘From where I’m standing, Tess, my suspicion was more like wishful thinking and it wasn’t the least bit nasty. In fact, it was pretty darn tempting.’
Heat crept along her veins. She bit her bottom lip in an effort to counter its heavy throbbing. There was nothing she could do about her breasts, though, except to keep her arms tightly folded across them and hope their eager swelling didn’t show.
‘But I’m severing ties with Bellaroo Creek while you’re in the process of establishing them. And while I wouldn’t be averse to a purely physical arrangement...’
She shook her head.
‘That’s what I figured.’
She pulled a breath of fresh country air into her lungs to try to cool her body’s unaccountable response to the man opposite; to give herself the space she needed to remember the promises she’d made to herself. ‘Romance in any shape or form isn’t figuring on my horizon for the next year or two.’
He stared at her, frowned. ‘Why not?’
She glanced at Krissie still dozing beneath the lemon tree, and at Ty and Barney wrestling gently in the long grass down by the back fence. ‘Because at the moment the children need stability in their lives. Bringing a new man into the mix would freak them out, threaten them.’ For the next year or two she meant to focus all her energies on them and what they needed.
For pity’s sake! It couldn’t be that hard. She’d spent the last twenty-six years focussing on nothing but herself and her music. It wouldn’t kill her to put others’ needs before her own for a while. In fact, she had a feeling it was mandatory. Anyway, what did she know about romantic relationships? She’d had flirtations, but nothing serious or long-term. She didn’t know enough about them to risk Ty’s and Krissie’s well-being, that was for sure.
‘Tess, you’re young and beautiful. You’re entitled to a life of your own.’
She stared at him. Did he really think she was beautiful?
She started and shook her stupid vanity aside. ‘Well, then, hopefully another two years won’t make much difference to either of those things.’
‘I think you’re making a mistake.’
‘Ten months,’ she shot back. ‘I think you’re the one making a mistake.’
They glared at each other. ‘Speaking of nosy questions...’ his glare deepened ‘...I have one of my own.’
She moistened dry lips. ‘Oh?’
He hitched his head in the direction of the children. ‘Who hurt them?’
The strength drained from her legs. She reached out but the chicken coop wasn’t stable enough to take her weight. She backed up and plonked down on a load of timber Cam had placed to one side, a chasm opening up in her chest. She wanted nothing more than to drop her face to her hands, but if either child glanced her way it would frighten them, worry them, and calming their anxieties was her number-one concern.
Cam swore. She glanced up. With the sun behind her, she could see his face clearly and the range of expressions that filtered across it—concern, protectiveness...anger.
Who hurt them? Her chest cramped. She’d hoped... ‘Is it that obvious?’ she whispered.
He eased himself down beside her. ‘Not at first.’
She had a feeling he was trying to humour her, to offer her some comfort, but there was no comfort to be had. Not for her.
‘Tess?’
She chafed her arms as a chill settled over her, although the sun and the air remained warm. ‘Their father,’ she finally said. ‘It was their father.’
From the corner of her eyes she saw one of his hands clench. She sensed that every muscle in his body had tensed. ‘He hit them?’
She nodded.
‘And he hit their mother?’
She nodded again.
‘The bastard!’
She had to swallow a lump at the pointlessness of it all. ‘Oh, Cameron, it’s so much sadder than that.’ Heartbreakingly sad.
‘Did he kill their mother and then commit suicide?’
Her head came up at that. ‘No!’ The police had been certain. ‘It was a car accident.’ She swallowed. ‘They hit a tree. The police who arrived first on the scene found an injured kangaroo on the road.’
‘They swerved to avoid it?’
‘I expect so.’
He reached out to clasp one of the hands she had clenched in her lap. ‘Tell me the sad story, Tess.’
Why did he want to know? And then she thought about Lorraine, and Lance and Fiona. Maybe something in Sarah and Bruce’s story would touch a chord with him. Maybe it would help heal the anger and pain inside him. Maybe it would help him find a way to forgive. Lance might not deserve that forgiveness, but she had a growing certainty that Cam needed to find it inside himself all the same.
His grip tightened and finally she met his gaze. She turned her hand over and without any hesitation at all he entwined his fingers with hers, giving her the silent strength and support she needed.
‘As far as I can tell,’ she finally started, ‘Sarah and Bruce were happy for most of their marriage.’ Though God knew she wasn’t an expert. ‘But two and a half years ago Bruce was involved in an accident at his work where he suffered a brain injury.’
‘Where did he work?’
‘In an open cut mine in the Upper Hunter Valley. An explosion went off when it shouldn’t have. It was all touch and go for a while. He spent four months in hospital and then had months and months of rehabilitation.’
‘What happened?’ he prompted when she stopped.
She clung to his hand. Unconsciously she leaned one bare arm against his until she remembered that there were still warm good things in the world. ‘His personality changed. This previously calm, family-oriented man suddenly had a temper he couldn’t control. It would apparently flare up at the smallest provocation.’ And then Bruce would lash out with his fists. ‘He looked the same, he sounded the same, but he was a totally different man from the one my sister had married.’
‘She should’ve removed the children from that situation immediately.’
Tess stilled. Very gently she removed her hand from his, and went back to chafing her arms. ‘We’re so quick to judge, aren’t we? But how sacred do you hold wedding vows, Cameron? Because my sister took them very seriously. For better for worse; in sickness and in health. The accident wasn’t Bruce’s fault. He didn’t go looking for it. He’d simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. How do you abandon someone who’s been through that?’ She peered up at him. ‘I don’t think you’d abandon a woman who’d been through something like that.’
He stared at her and then dragged a hand down his face. ‘Did you know about the violence?’
Bitterness filled her mouth and she shook her head. ‘I was hardly ever in the country. I was too busy with my career and gallivanting around Europe and making a name for myself to notice anything.’
She’d been off having the time of her life while her sister had been living a nightmare. Sarah had always been so staunchly independent but that was no excuse. Deep down she’d known something had been troubling her sister, only Sarah would deny it whenever Tess had pressed her. Oh, yes, there had been signs. Signs she hadn’t picked up on.
Her vision blurred. Sarah had been so proud of Te
ss’s successes, but they were nothing—surface glitter with no substance. Like Tess herself.
‘Tess?’
She shook herself. ‘I found out about the violence after the car accident, from Sarah’s neighbours and Bruce’s doctors. From Ty and Krissie.’ And from the letter Sarah had left her, asking her to look after the children if anything should happen to her, and leaving her a ludicrously large life insurance policy, enabling her to do exactly that.
She lifted her chin. ‘All that matters now is making sure Ty and Krissie feel safe and building a good life for them here. I’ll do whatever that takes.’
‘Why?’
The single question chilled her. ‘Because I love them.’ That was the truth. Cam didn’t need to know any more than that. She wasn’t sure she could bear the disgust in his eyes if she told him the whole truth.
‘Miss Laing, there you are! We’ve been knocking on the front door, but you obviously didn’t hear us.’
Tess and Cam shot to their feet as three women came around the side of the house—Cam’s mum, Stacy Bennet and the unknown but well-dressed woman who’d addressed Tess.
Tess urged herself forward and forced what she hoped was a welcoming smile to her lips. ‘I’m terribly sorry!’
‘It’s no matter, dear,’ Lorraine said. ‘But I want to introduce you to Helen Milton. She’s the headmistress of Lachlan Downs Ladies College, which is a boarding school two hours south of here. She’s made the trip into Bellaroo Creek especially to meet you.’
* * *
Cam rolled his shoulders and remained where he was. Why on earth did Helen want to meet Tess?
‘I saw you play when I was in London the year before last. My dear, you have such a rare talent, but it wasn’t until I saw you play in Barcelona a few months later that I truly realised it.’
Tess’s spine, her shoulders, her whole bearing stiffened. He couldn’t see her face, but the fact she made no reply told its own story. He moved to stand beside her.
‘Hello, Cameron.’