by Donna Alward
‘I know.’ Lance squared his shoulders. ‘But it’s a start, and I’m not going to screw up this time.’
Cam stretched a leg out. ‘Now to the financial situation of this station. I’m not just going to bail you guys out. I’m not a bank and I have my own place to consider. But—’ he glanced at his mother ‘—I am prepared to buy a fifty per cent share of the property and to invest in improving it.’
She bit her lip and nodded. It was an acknowledgement, not an acceptance. This was business. This wouldn’t be her ideal scenario, but interest-free loans and working for this station gratis were a thing of the past.
He glanced back at Lance. ‘Are you fair dinkum about giving farming a proper go?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then I’m prepared to pay you a wage to train under Fraser for the next two years. If Mum does decide to sell me half the property, and if you prove yourself, I will let you buy back my share of this station for whatever the current market value is.’
Lance swallowed and nodded. ‘I accept.’ Fiona nudged him and he broke into a grin. ‘In fact, I’m darn grateful, but...’
He had to stop his lips from twisting. Here it came. ‘But?’
‘Cam, I’d rather work under you than Fraser.’
The steel momentarily left his spine. It was the last thing he’d expected Lance to say. It brought home to him the depth of the younger man’s resolution. A breath eased out of him. ‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible.’
His mother leaned towards him. ‘Why not, darling?’
‘Because I won’t be here.’ His gut tightened and he couldn’t look at Tess. ‘I’ve accepted a field assignment to Africa with the Feed the World programme.’
‘For how long?’
‘Two years.’
To his right, he heard Tess’s quick intake of breath and his chest started to ache.
‘When do you leave?’ Lance burst out.
‘The end of next month.’
And then all hell broke loose as his mother, Lance and Fiona all broke out in loud voices, talking over each other as they remonstrated with him. Tess leaned across to touch his arm. ‘Will you stay at least until the memorial service?’
He didn’t know when the service was scheduled, but he knew she wouldn’t try to trick him into staying any longer. He trusted her. ‘Yes.’
‘Thank you. It’ll mean so much to Ty and Krissie.’
And her?
‘And me,’ she added as if she could read his mind.
Then she stood. ‘Honestly,’ she snapped to his family, ‘stop all this nonsense. All his life Cameron has looked after you lot. All his life he’s done things for other people. Stop being so selfish and think of him for once. He’s entitled to follow his dream and you as his family should be supporting him rather than bellyaching at him and making things difficult.’
She was fierce and fabulous and he suddenly wanted to laugh with sheer exhilaration. But when she turned to smile at him he wanted to close his eyes. He recognised what glowed in the gorgeous brown depths of her eyes. Love.
Love for him.
And he had absolutely no intention of accepting it, of returning it, and that knowledge was there in her eyes too.
Bile burned his throat. Why hadn’t he taken more care around her? She was the one person in Bellaroo Creek who wanted what was truly best for him—without agenda and without reference to her own needs or desires. He’d rather cut off his right arm than hurt her. A giant vise squeezed his heart. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but a fat lot of good that would do her in the months to come.
He opened his mouth. He wanted to offer her some form of comfort. Only he knew that’d be useless. Worse than useless.
He dragged a hand back through his hair. She’d wanted to be here today to shield him in whatever way she could from Lance and Fiona’s betrayal. That all seemed so small and petty now. If only there’d been someone looking out for her!
‘Tess is right,’ his mother finally said, waving everyone back to their seats. ‘Again.’
‘Again?’ he found himself asking.
‘The day of the working bee at the cemetery I mentioned to Tess how nice it was to see you there.’ Lorraine bit her lip. ‘She said I might want to mention that to you, and it made me suddenly see how...unsupportive I must’ve seemed to you. Frankly, I was mortified.’
And because of Tess he now knew why his mother had stayed away from Kurrajong Station for all these years.
‘She gave me a right set down that day too,’ Lance said. ‘Demanded to know if I’d ever actually apologised for my appalling behaviour.’ He grimaced. ‘It was the kick in the pants I needed.’
Cam turned to stare at Tess. She screwed up her nose. ‘I tried really hard to mind my own business, but...’
He leaned across and covered her hand with his. ‘I’m glad you didn’t. I want you to know that all this—’ he gestured around the table ‘—is due to you. And I’m grateful.’
‘So am I.’ Lorraine rose and embraced Tess. ‘My darling girl, not only are you helping save my beloved town, you’ve helped save my family.’
With her arm about Tess’s waist, she turned to Cam. ‘Darling, of course you must do what your heart tells you. You’ve been involved with the Feed the World programme for so long, and I know you’ve made a real difference in the lives of those less fortunate than us. It’s selfish of us to want to keep you to ourselves, but you must never forget that you always have a home here with us.’
He leant across and kissed his mother’s cheek. ‘I won’t forget.’ But it was Tess’s fragrance he drew into his lungs as he moved away.
‘I think it’s beyond time I made a fresh pot of tea. Could you give me a hand, Fiona, dear?’
Cam turned to Tess. He wanted to say something—something that would tell her how much he appreciated all she had done, and how sorry he was for the rest of it.
Her smile and the tiny shake of her head forestalled him. ‘I think it’s all worked out exactly the way it should’ve, don’t you?’
No.
Oh, it had for him and his mother, and for Lance and Fiona, but not for her. Not in the way she deserved.
‘I’m mighty glad you came around today, Cam.’
Lance’s words reminded him that he and Tess weren’t alone. And he didn’t want to say or do anything that might embarrass her in front of Lance or cue anybody in on her pain. Tess was like him. She’d not want a broken heart on display for all and sundry to exclaim and pick over. He could at least do that much for her.
He turned to his brother. ‘So am I.’ And he meant it more than he’d thought he would.
‘Say.’ Lance pointed, leading him to the edge of the veranda. ‘See that colt in the home paddock? Do you think he’s ready for breaking?’
Cam watched the colt moving over the grass with an easy gait and his tail held high. ‘Your call, Lance, but I’d be inclined to give him another six months.’
When Cam turned back, Tess was gone. Every atom in his body shouted at him to go after her. He remained where he was. In his heart he knew there was nothing he could say that would make an atom of difference to either one of them. Letting her go was harder than going after her, but it was also kinder.
Where Tess was concerned he’d already done enough harm.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TESS WORKED HARD at making the memorial service a celebration of Sarah’s and Bruce’s lives. The scheduled day dawned cold and still, with barely a breath of breeze to stir the leaves in the Kurrajong trees. Cameron’s canola had been planted and, while winter had arrived, the blue skies and constant sunshine made her feel as if she, Ty and Krissie were moving into a smoother, calmer period. Truly a new beginning.
Even though she missed Sarah every single day.
&nbs
p; Even though whenever she thought of Cameron leaving Bellaroo Creek her heart trembled and her throat would close over.
Still, at least she would know that somewhere in the world Cam was following his heart. If his heart could never belong to her, then she just wanted him happy.
When the day of the memorial service dawned—with Cam due to leave Bellaroo Creek the very next day—Tess bounced out of bed and lifted her chin. She had so much—a home, two beautiful children, and a bright future. Today she meant to count her blessings, not her sorrows.
The entire town turned out for the memorial service. The women wore their best dresses, and while not all the men owned suits, they all wore ties. It touched her to the very centre of her being.
The minister gave a brief but heartfelt sermon. Lorraine led them all in a stirring version of ‘Amazing Grace’. Tess, with Ty and Krissie at her side, gave a eulogy—she spoke about Sarah’s generosity, her love for her family, and how much she’d have loved Bellaroo Creek. Both Krissie and Ty told a little story about their mum—even their dad. There wasn’t a dry eye after that. They ended the service with a recording of Sarah’s favourite song—the Hollies hit ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’.
A wake was held at the community hall. After refreshments and cake had been amply consumed, Tess strode up to the podium and called the room to order. ‘Ty, Krissie and I wanted today to be a celebration of Sarah’s life and you’ve all helped make that possible and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.’
Without any effort at all, she found Cam’s tall broad bulk in the crowd. The smile he sent her warmed her to her toes. ‘We miss Sarah every single day, but we don’t want to focus any longer on all the bad stuff about missing her, but on how much better our lives are for having known her. Today, you helped us do that.’
She smoothed her hair back behind her ears. ‘Something Ty, Krissie and I have taken to doing at dinnertime is naming something that has made us happy for that day or something that we’re grateful for. Every single day I’m grateful that Sarah was my sister, but when she died I turned my back on my music. A very special guy here in Bellaroo Creek, though, showed me what a mistake that was. I’m very grateful to Cameron Manning for that lesson. I want to now play you all a piece that was one of my sister’s favourites.’
She moved to the side where she’d stowed her guitar case and retrieved the guitar she’d had couriered from Sydney. She hadn’t played it in over five months. She slipped the strap over her head, seated herself on a stool, and looked out at the sea of faces staring back at her. ‘Sarah, honey, this one’s for you,’ she whispered.
She met Cam’s eyes, drew in a breath at his encouraging nod, and then her fingers touched the strings and magic filled her. She lost herself to it, pouring her heart into the music.
When she finished she smiled at Ty and Krissie sitting on the floor in front of her. And then at Cam. He was right. The music was a gift, and there was room in her heart for it all—for Ty and Krissie, and for the music. She should embrace it.
‘I want to invite anyone who’d like to take part, to come up here and share something that’s made you happy or that you’re grateful for.’
* * *
Cam stared in awe.
Tess Laing was the most amazing woman he’d ever met. If Bellaroo Creek could attract another couple of women with her spunk the town would be safe for the next hundred years. It wouldn’t just be saved. It’d flourish!
Krissie walked up onto stage to the microphone. ‘You should go down there now,’ she whispered to Tess, pointing at the crowd, obviously not meaning for everyone to hear, but the microphone picking it up as Tess adjusted it for her.
With a kiss to the top of the child’s head, Tess made her way down to the crowd to stand with Ty. Without consciously meaning to, Cam made his way to her side. She smiled at him, turning automatically as if she’d sensed him there. It made his gut clench.
Did he truly mean to leave this woman?
‘I want to say that one thing that makes me happy is my auntie Tess. We do lots of fun things together like singing, and we dance around the backyard and colour-in together. She’s not a very good dancer...’
Everyone laughed. Cam remembered seeing Tess dance and shook his head. She was a great dancer.
‘But she’s going to teach me guitar and I love living with her.’
He held Tess back when Krissie finished. ‘Let her do it all under her own steam,’ he counselled.
‘I’m fussing, huh?’
He didn’t interfere though when she bent down to encompass the child in a hug once Krissie had reached them. It wasn’t until she righted herself, though, that he saw Ty had moved to the microphone.
‘My auntie Tess is awesome, but today I want to say I’m happy Cam has been our neighbour. He’s shown me how to stake tomato plants and how to nail chicken wire and how to teach Barney to fetch a ball. I’m going to miss him when he goes to Africa.’
There were a few ‘hear, hears’ from the crowd and Cam found his throat thickening. He lifted Ty up in a bear hug when he rejoined them. ‘Thanks, buddy, I’m going to miss you too.’
‘Me too?’ Krissie tugged on his sleeve, demanding a hug of her own.
‘You too,’ he said, hugging her close.
Damn it! Did he really mean to leave these kids behind?
‘Me three.’ Tess leaned across and kissed his cheek. She backed up pretty quick again too, though, and he didn’t blame her. Not if the heat threatened her in the same way it did him.
One by one the townsfolk walked up to the microphone to name the things that made them happy—family, a good wheat crop, a clean bill of health, family, friends who rallied around in times of need, good rainfall, grandchildren, family. Family. It figured high on everyone’s happiness radar. Not a single person mentioned going to Africa—or any other place for that matter. Bellaroo Creek and family, that was what mattered.
Bellaroo Creek and family.
Cameron stared at Tess and the kids. Could he truly leave them? Did he want to leave them?
He stared at his mother. She’d miss him dreadfully. He knew that now, even if she was putting a brave face on it.
Family and Bellaroo Creek.
Lance and Fiona canoodled in a corner like the lovesick couple they were and he didn’t even feel a pang. Instead he felt hopeful. Lance was keeping his word and working hard. Having finally emerged from under Cam’s shadow, he was even showing some natural aptitude on the sheep-breeding programme. And it was obvious he had no intention of breaking Fiona’s heart as Cam had feared.
Family and Bellaroo Creek.
Once upon a time that had been his dream too. When it had failed him he’d turned his back on it, proclaimed it impossible. His heart started to thump. But it wasn’t impossible, was it? It was within reach if he had the courage to try for it.
He stared at Tess and Ty and Krissie, remembered the laughter and light they’d brought to Kurrajong House, the life they’d sent flowing through it.
That dream of his wasn’t impossible. Oh, it hadn’t been possible with Fiona, and all he could do was be thankful that she’d realised it in time.
That dream of his was absolutely possible.
If only he wasn’t too afraid to reach for it again.
His heart thundered in his ears. Tess had found the courage to embrace her music again. Could he find the same courage within himself?
He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared hard at the floorboards at his feet. What did he truly want? What would he lay his life down for and be glad to do it?
Tess.
That single word filled his soul.
* * *
‘I’m next!’ He pointed to the microphone. Everyone turned to stare at him. He swung to Tess, seized her face in his hands and kissed her so
undly. His lips memorised every single curve and contour of hers and she kissed him back with such unguarded love it fed something essential inside him.
He let her go. He squeezed Krissie’s and Ty’s shoulders before striding up to the stage and the microphone.
* * *
Tess watched Cam adjust the microphone while the blood crashed through her veins.
He’d kissed her.
In front of everyone!
What did he mean by it?
Ty and Krissie grinned up at her. She couldn’t help but grin back.
Cam cleared his throat. Her attention flew back to his tall frame and those powerful shoulders and lean hips...and long, long legs with their powerful thighs. Her knees quivered and her heart tripped and fluttered.
His gaze wandered about the crowd until she thought he must’ve made eye contact with everyone. ‘I know every single one of you by your full name. I’ve listened to you recite the things that make you happy, the things that are most important to you, and the message has come through loud and clear—you love your families, your properties and Bellaroo Creek.’
He shifted. ‘All I’ve ever wanted is to grow a big bustling family at Kurrajong Station, but a year ago that dream came crashing down around my ears and I thought it would never happen. That’s when I made my decision to leave. I knew it would be too hard living here day in and day out with that dream mocking me.’
Her heart burned for all he’d been through.
‘I want to say now that I’m grateful to Fiona for realising we weren’t well suited and calling our engagement off before we made a dreadful mistake. I only wish I could’ve seen that truth sooner.’
He didn’t love Fiona? Her hands clenched and unclenched until, to stop their fidgeting, she gripped them together.
‘Because now I know what true love is.’
He did?
When his gaze moved to her, she had to press her hands to her heart to make sure it didn’t leap right out of her chest.
‘Loving someone means wanting them to be happy, even if it means giving up your own dreams. It means supporting them in the things that are important to them, even if you don’t understand that importance.’ He suddenly grinned. ‘Like White Bearded Silkies and marigolds in a vegetable garden.’