by Donna Alward
“Help me up.” She held out a hand to him.
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“Never mind.” Exasperation threaded through her weak voice. “I’ll do it on my own.”
Figuring he couldn’t make things any worse than having her struggle to get up on her own, he moved swiftly and slipped his hands under her arms. She was a solid girl, but he easily helped her to her feet. His hands lingered around her as he studied her face for signs of distress.
“Any pain?” If she said yes he didn’t care how much she protested. He was throwing her in his truck and rushing her to the emergency room.
She shook her head.
“You’re sure?”
She nodded.
He wished she’d talk more. It wasn’t like her to be so quiet. “Let’s get you inside.”
Guilt and concern swamped his mind, making his head throb. This whole accident was his fault. He should have kept a closer eye on her. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to her or her baby.
A baby. Meg was pregnant. The fragmented thoughts pelted him, leaving him stunned. What was he supposed to do now?
* * *
Once the shock wore off Meghan breathed easier. Thank goodness there was no pain or cramping. Before she could take a step toward the ranch house Cash swung her up in his arms.
“What are you doing? Put me down.”
He ignored her protests as he started for the house at a brisk pace. Her hands automatically wrapped around his neck. A solid column of muscle lay beneath her fingertips. A whiff of soap mingled with a spicy scent teased her nose.
She wanted to relax and rest her head against his shoulder, but she couldn’t let herself get caught up in the moment. Cash had so many walls erected around his heart that she doubted a wrecking ball could break through. With all her own problems she didn’t need to toy around with the idea of getting involved with someone who was emotionally off-limits.
He carried her into the family room and approached the leather couch. Meghan glanced down. A manure smudge trailed up her leg. “Don’t put me down here. I’m filthy.”
“It’ll clean up.”
“Cash, no.”
Ignoring her protest, he deposited her with the utmost care onto the couch. The man could be so infuriating, but she wasn’t up for an argument. Once she’d rested for a bit, assured herself everything was all right with the baby, she’d grab the leather cleaner and spiff everything up. After all, it was her job.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.
“No, thanks. I’m okay now.”
He sat down on the large wooden coffee table and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “No aches or pains? The baby—?”
“Is fine.” When Cash made no move to leave, she added, “You don’t need to sit there the rest of the day, staring at me.”
He leaned back and rubbed the stubble lining his jaw. “You have to tell me the honest truth. Do you need a doctor?”
She reached out and patted his leg, noticing the firm muscles beneath his denim. “Other than needing another shower, I feel fine. If things change you’ll be the first I tell.”
“Promise?”
Her hand moved protectively to her abdomen. “I’ve got a little one to protect now. I’ll do whatever it takes to give him or her the best life.”
“Does that include sticking by the father even if he doesn’t deserve your loyalty?”
CHAPTER TEN
MEGHAN STUDIED CASH’S face, wondering what had given him the idea she was in any way standing by Harold. After the thoughtless, hurtful manner in which he’d dumped her, nothing could be further from the truth.
“Why in the world would you think I feel loyalty toward Harold?”
Cash’s dark brow arched. “I don’t know. How about because you wanted to save your wedding dress? You wore your engagement ring until you started doing housework, and you refuse to say a bad word about him.”
Oh, she had a whole host of not-so-nice things to say about Harold, but she refused to give in to the temptation—it’d be too easy. And she didn’t want her child exposed to an atmosphere where animosity was the status quo.
However, Cash had opened his home to her, and he hadn’t needed to. And once he’d gotten to know her he’d been kind and generous. It was time she trusted him. He deserved to know the unvarnished truth.
She inhaled a steadying breath and launched into the events leading up to her mad dash out of the church, including how Harold had rejected not only her but also their baby.
Cash’s eyes opened wide with surprise. “He doesn’t want his own baby?”
She shook her head.
Cash’s expression hardened and his eyes narrowed. “How can he write off his own kid as if it was a houseplant he didn’t want? Doesn’t he realize how lucky he is? I’d give anything to have my baby...”
The impact of his words took a few seconds to sink in. Dumbfounded, she stared at him. Lingering pain was reflected in his darkened eyes.
At last finding her voice, she asked, “You’re a father?”
His head lowered. “I never got the chance to be. My ex didn’t want to be tied down.”
Meghan squeezed his hand. His fingers closed around hers and held on tight.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “But maybe someday—”
“No. It’s better this way.” He released his hold on her and took a step back. “Are you sure you want to be a mother?”
Meghan nodded vigorously. “Besides, even if I had done what Harold wanted he still wouldn’t have married me. It just wasn’t meant to be.”
“So there’s no chance of a reconciliation?” Cash’s direct gaze searched her face.
“Absolutely none.” Instead of pain and regret, all she felt was relief.
“I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to say I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but it sounds like you were lucky to find out the truth before you married him.”
Meghan sighed. “My mother wouldn’t agree with you. She had this perfect wedding planned. In fact, she expected me to be the perfect wife to the perfect husband and live out the perfect life.”
“That’s a tall order, considering nothing and no one is perfect.”
“Try explaining that to my mother. She likes to run with the ‘in’ crowd and pretend our family is better than we are. No matter how hard I’ve tried I’ve never earned her approval. But when I started dating Harold she became a little less critical of me and she smiled a little more.”
“I’m guessing she isn’t happy about the wedding being called off.”
Sadness over not being able to turn to her own mother during this trying time settled over her. “Once again I’ve disappointed her. And she doesn’t even know that I’m about to become a single parent.”
“Doesn’t sound like your mother is going to be much help with the baby. What will you do?”
“For the time being I’m going to keep my pregnancy under wraps and go back to my job as the Jiffy Cook.”
“I thought you didn’t like the job? Why not try something else?”
“I can’t. I’m pregnant. I no longer have the freedom to pick and choose what I do for a living. I have to do what is best for my child.”
Cash’s brow arched. “And you think being the Jiffy Cook is the best option?”
“It provides a comfortable income and excellent health benefits.”
“But if you aren’t happy—”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“What about Harold? He’s still the baby’s father.”
The thought of her child growing up without a father deeply troubled her. Both of her parents had played significant roles in her life. Her mother had
given her the gift of cooking, for which she’d be forever grateful, and her father had taught her to keep putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, no matter the challenges that lay ahead. How in the world would she ever be enough for her child?
“For the baby’s sake I’ll make peace with Harold. We’ll work out visitation. Or, if he really wants nothing to do with the baby, I’ll have him sign over his rights.”
Cash nodded in understanding. “Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of thinking since you’ve been here. You know there’s still the press to deal with? Seems they’re more fascinated with you than I first thought.”
The memory of why she’d slipped and fallen came rushing back to her. “What did you tell the reporter when he was here?”
“Nothing.” Stress lines marred his face. “The reporter was the same man I spoke to at the church when we were leaving. I don’t think he knows anything definite, but I can’t promise he won’t be back.”
She noted how his lips pressed together in a firm line. In his gray eyes she spied unease.
“What else is bothering you?”
The silence engulfed them. She wouldn’t back down. She had to know what was eating at him.
Cash got to his feet and paced. He raked his fingers through his hair, scattering the short strands into an unruly mess. He stopped in front of her, resting his hands on his waist.
His intense gaze caught and held hers. “Fine. You want to know what keeps going through my mind?” She nodded and he continued. “You didn’t tell me you were pregnant.”
He was right. She’d been lying by omission. And none of the excuses she’d been feeding herself now seemed acceptable. She’d never thought about it from his perspective. “I...I’m sorry. The timing just never seemed right. I shouldn’t have let it stop me. I should have worked up the courage to be honest with you—”
All of a sudden there was a movement in her abdomen. Her hands moved to her midsection.
Cash rushed to her side and dropped to his knees. “Is it the baby? Are you in pain?”
She smiled and shook her head. It was the first time she’d ever felt anything like it.
“Meg, talk to me or I’m calling an ambulance.”
Pulling herself together, she said, “I swear I’m not in pain.”
“Then what is it?”
She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her tiny baby bump. “There it is again.”
He pressed both strong hands to her stomach. His brows drew together as though he were in deep concentration. “I don’t feel anything. Was the baby kicking?”
“When I found out I was pregnant I started to read a baby book. At nine weeks the baby’s too small to kick, but there was a definite fluttering sensation.”
“Sounds like you have a feisty one in there.” His expression grew serious. “Promise me you’ll be more cautious from now on? That little one is counting on you.”
She blinked back a sudden rush of tears and nodded. She wasn’t a crier. It must be the crazy pregnancy hormones that had her all choked up.
When Cash moved away a coldness settled in where his hands had been pressed against her. She didn’t want him to go. Not yet. But she didn’t have a reason for him to stay.
“Don’t move from that couch until I return.” He bent over and snatched his cowboy hat from the coffee table. As he stood, his gaze met hers. “I won’t be gone long. I have to speak with Hal and let him know if he needs me I’ll be right here, taking care of you.”
His orders struck her the wrong way. “No.”
“Meg, don’t be ridiculous. You need to rest. And I’ll be here to make sure that you do just that.”
The idea of listening to him sounded so good—so tempting. But the fact she wanted to let him take charge frightened her. She couldn’t need him—want him. The last time she’d leaned on a man he’d taken over her life. This time she needed to make her way on her own.
She swallowed hard. “I can take care of myself.”
“Quit being stubborn.”
“Just leave me alone,” she said, struggling to keep her warring emotions in check. “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. I can take care of myself and my baby.”
Cash expelled an exasperated sigh but didn’t say another word.
His retreating footsteps echoed through the room. Once the front door snicked shut a hot tear splashed onto her cheek. She dashed it away with the back of her hand, but it was quickly followed by another one. These darn pregnancy hormones had her acting all out of sorts.
She refused to accept that her emotional breakdown had anything to do with her wishing Cash was her baby’s daddy, not Harold. Because if she accepted that then she’d have to accept she had feelings for him. And she didn’t have any room in her life for a man.
* * *
Cash stomped out to the barn, tossed his hat on the bench in the tackroom and raked his hair with his fingers. His thoughts kept circling over the conversation he’d had with Meg. He was trying to figure out where it’d run off the tracks. One minute he was offering to help her and the next she was yelling at him.
No matter how long he lived, he’d never understand women. They’d be mankind’s last unsolved mystery. He kicked at a clump of dirt, sending it skidding out into the aisle.
What was he supposed to do now? The thought of Meg packing her bags and leaving played on his mind. Worry inched up his spine. He hoped she wouldn’t do anything so foolish.
He was thankful for one thing—Gram wasn’t here to witness how he’d screwed things up. If Meg left early because of him...because he’d overstepped the mark...his grandmother wouldn’t forgive him—he wouldn’t forgive himself.
His cell phone buzzed. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone, but with a ranch to run he didn’t have the luxury of ignoring potentially important calls. “Tumbling Weed Ranch.”
“Cash, is that you?” Gram shouted into the phone as though she were having a hard time hearing him.
“Yep, it’s me. Ready to come home?” Talk about lousy timing. What he didn’t need at this moment was a lecture about how he’d blown things with Meg.
“I’m not ready to leave yet. Amy’s mother had problems catching a flight, but she’s supposed to be here by next week. I agreed to stay until then. How are things there?”
Talk about a loaded question. He couldn’t tell Gram about Meg—not over the phone. Besides, Gram already had her hands full caring for a new mother and her babies. She didn’t need to hear about his problems.
“Cash?” Gram called out. “Cash, are you still there?”
“I’m here. Things are going well. Not only has Meg finished cleaning your house, but she almost has mine spiffed up too.”
“You aren’t working that poor girl too hard, are you? She needs to take care of herself and get plenty of rest.”
Gram knew Meg was pregnant. The knowledge stole his breath. Why had he only just learned about it? A slow burn started in his gut. He’d been the last to know when his mother and father had run out of money. And the last to know when his dad had planned to hold up a liquor store.
Then, earlier this year, he’d been the last to know when his girlfriend, who’d worked in the office at the rodeo, had been in cahoots with a parolee. Behind his back they’d ripped off the rodeo proceeds and framed him for the job. She’d claimed he owed her. Instead of giving her his prize money, to fritter away at the local saloon, he’d always sent it home to Gram for the upkeep of the ranch. Thank goodness he’d had an alibi.
And now this. Meg had confided in his grandmother about her condition but she hadn’t seen fit to share it with him, even though he’d opened his home up to her. His hand tightened on the phone.
“When did she tell you?” he asked.
“Tell me about what?” Gram asked a little too i
nnocently.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know she’s pregnant. You’ve known all along.”
A slight pause ensued. “It wasn’t my place to tell you.”
“What else have I been kept in the dark about?”
“Nothing. And why does it bother you so much? It’s not like you’re the father.”
Gram paused, giving him time to think. He might not be the biological father but he already had a sense of responsibility to this baby and its mother. His jaw tightened. He knew it’d lead to nothing but trouble.
“Cash, you’re not planning to get involved with Meghan, are you?”
“What?” He would have thought his grandmother would be thrilled with the idea of him settling down with Meg, not warning him against it. “Of course not.”
“Good. I know you’ve had a rough life, and trusting people doesn’t come easily to you. That girl has been through enough already, and with a baby on the way she doesn’t need another heartbreak. She needs someone steady. Someone she can rely on.”
His grandmother’s warning shook him. He wanted to disagree with her. But she was right. This wasn’t his baby.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “Nothing’s going to happen. Soon she’ll be gone.”
“I didn’t say to run the poor girl off. She has a lot to deal with before she returns home. I have to go. One of the babies is crying. Tell Meghan I’ve come across some unique recipes while I’ve been here. We can try them out when I get home.”
Without a chance for him to utter a goodbye the line went dead. Gram was expecting Meg to be here when she returned. If Gram found her gone she’d blame him. He’d already caused his grandmother enough heartache for one lifetime. He didn’t want to be responsible for Meg leaving without Gram having an opportunity to say good-bye.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE WARM GLOW of the afternoon sun filled Cash’s bedroom. Meghan swiped a dust rag over a silver picture frame with a snapshot of a little boy cuddled in a woman’s arms. She pulled the picture closer and studied the child’s face. The familiar gray eyes combined with the crop of dark hair resembled Cash. She smiled back at the picture of the grinning little boy. Was the beautiful woman gazing so lovingly at the child his mother? Meghan wondered what had happened to her. And where was Cash’s father?