A Tiger in Eden

by Chris Flynn

  The heat of the afternoon wasn’t too bad under the forest canopy but it was still dead humid, loads of people must of taken the trail before ‘cos the walking track through the undergrowth was dead clear sure we’d only been hiking for about another half hour when we came across another exotic creature. I couldn’t believe it I was dead excited even more than with the snake, it was a big black scorpion blocking our path. Lana was scared shitless but I poked it with the walking stick I’d made from an aul fallen tree branch. Lana near had a fit she shrieked and pulled me back as the scorpion raised its pincers in a display of aggression it was about the size of your fist so it was.

  I just want to see him striking get off me will ye, I goes, it’s awesome isn’t it, don’t annoy it Will, she goes, I don’t want to have to carry you all the way back if it bites you.

  They don’t bite, I says, and besides it’s probably dead venomous too so you wouldn’t have to carry me far. I edged my stick towards it and the wee fucker wheeled around to try and see what was going on.

  Will don’t! Stop it, you’re scaring me, Lana says, what if it takes a run at you? I hesitated for a second then pulled my stick back, I never thought of that can they run fast, I goes, how many legs has it got, she says.

  I tried counting them, eight by the looks of it, I goes, right, she says, well that’s four more than both of us put together come on let’s go back this is obviously his forest, take it easy will you, I says, this is not Super Mario Brothers he’s not some guardian we have to defeat to get to the next level. I’ll just give him a wee incentive to move along out of our way with my trusty poking stick here. The scorpion scuttled away to the left to avoid the end of my stick then seemed to lose interest in us as it noticed something else in the jungle it turned sudden like and made its way quickly off into the brush.

  The forest was quite dense sure you could hardly see very far into it all branches hanging down and moisture in the air very authentic so it was like in Jurassic Park or something. Straightaway I thought of yer man the great white hunter getting caught out by the raptors that was the best bit when he knows he’s gonna get ate but admires them enough to say clever girl.

  The two of us was stood there taking in the sounds of the jungle like fucking Tarzan and Jane, the sweat dripping down my back and soaking my T-shirt. I felt Lana’s sweaty palm slip into mine and our fingers closed together dead tight. She was staring up at me with this weird expression, sort of studying me or something. I turned with my back to the forest so’s I could see her in the sun and just bask in her aul beauty. We stood like that for a while just looking at each other no talk or movement or nothing just holding hands the two of us.

  Eventually she moved in close to give me a hug, she stood up on her tippy-toes and her head went over my shoulder I was ready to squeeze the life out of her only she stepped back again dead quick and I was a bit disappointed until I saw the look on her face. She let go of me and put both hands up to her mouth. I could tell straightaway from her expression something was very wrong I’d seen it too many times back in Belfast that look of pure fear.

  There was something behind me I could feel it there in the jungle I hadn’t heard it sneak up I suppose that’s its business not being heard, wouldn’t be much of a predator otherwise. Lana was frozen to the spot so I turned around dead slow and peered into the gloom, it took me a few seconds to see it I think it was disbelief more than anything else that made me not register it was there sure it was pretty obvious.

  A fucking tiger. It was huge, bigger than me and loads heavier just standing there poised like a house cat stalking a mouse or a bit of string waiting for it to move so it could open its mouth and leap. It was stunning so it was the first thing that went through my mind was holy fuck would you just look at that, fucking magnificent it never even occurred to me that I was about to get ate like yer man in Jurassic Park funny I’d just been thinking about that fuck sake what a stupid thing to be thinking when you’re faced with two hundred kilos of killing machine, course I thought all this in about a millisecond or something ‘cos after that my first instinct was to get between the animal and Lana.

  Something kicked in then some switch inside me I went into pure concentration mode not scared or nothing dead calm actually they say you shouldn’t look an animal in the eye like a gorilla in case it charges ye but that all went out the window, maybe it’s not the same for big cats but I just took one small step to the side to block it from getting to Lana, flexed the muscles in my neck and stared it straight in the eyes.

  Everything came into sharp focus then, it was just me and the tiger looking at each other studying each other sort of communicating and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my breathing and its breathing, its belly rising and falling its shoulder blades sticking up ready to pounce there’s no way I could of stopped it if it had decided to barrel through me but I was talking away to it through my eyes I don’t know how I done it but that’s what it felt like, I want her, it was saying to me, no I said back, go about your business elsewhere you can tell what I am, you know I am not afraid brother. Wild so it was, never felt nothing like it, the creature kept staring at me with its big golden eyes its whiskers twitching a wee drop of moisture hanging off the edge of one clear as day it obviously heard what I was saying, I seen its shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. It’s not that it couldn’t take me of course it could easy but there was something between us some sort of understanding or respect maybe one beast acknowledging another, anyway it opened its mouth and bared its teeth turning its head sideways and snarling I tell you what ninety-nine point nine nine per cent of cunts in this world would of shit their pants right then and it would of been all over but I just smiled, nothing could hurt me no more I was gone beyond the limits somewhere more than human in that one perfect moment fucking transcendent so it was somehow everything was clear and in focus and still. I nodded and the tiger turned around and with a swish of his tail loped off into the jungle.

  I waited for about ten seconds to make sure he was gone even though I knew he was. I turned round to Lana her eyes was wide her mouth hanging open arms limp by her sides. I put my hand on her hip to steady her, she was in shock obviously she looked up at me and swallowed her breath all shallow, she blinked once or twice trying to comprehend what she’d just seen. I couldn’t blame her like it hadn’t sunk in with me either. She lifted her clammy palm to my face and cupped my aul stubbly jaw with it.

  I’ll never leave you, she goes.

  I know, I says. I caught her as she went down scooped her up in my arms red hair cascading over my chest like fire. She might not know everything about me but she knew enough, more than anyone and I knew she’d stay with me no matter what we were together now come what may.

  20

  A bunch of trackers came through five minutes later, they were beating the undergrowth with big sticks and a couple of them had dart guns, they went mad when they seen us, shouting and carrying on.

  Aye take it easy, I says, how were we supposed to know there was a fucking tiger on the loose sure there’s no signs or nothing.

  Lana was recovered a bit by then we were sitting down having a drink of water and trying to decide if we should turn back or not. No mention of getting devoured in Southeast Asia on a Shoestring, she goes.

  I laughed even though it wasn’t funny really, where the fuck’d the tiger come from, I says to one of the trackers who was trying to tell us to go away in broken English, escape, he says, private zoo for tourists, youse are fucking mad in this country, I goes, your tiger went that way if you’re looking for him.

  That set them all going again shouting and guldering at each other and off they went after the beast.

  I feel like sending them the wrong way, Lana goes, giving it a chance to get away.

  Aye I thought of that too, I says, only what if it claws the face off of someone or snaffles up a wean better they catch it.

  I hope they don’t hurt it, she says.

  I felt the same even
though we’d just faced it down and could of been its breakfast.

  Should we go on, I says. Lana stood up then, definitely, she goes, I don’t believe in going back.

  A wee trickle of water crossed the track about a mile further along and we followed it upstream as per the barman’s instructions stepping from stone to stone at first but eventually not worrying about getting our shoes wet and just splashing through the shallows, the water was dead clear, we made better time that way and by about three o’clock we could hear the waterfall up ahead. The canopy opened up above us then allowing the sun to come through and as we moved out of the shade I stopped and dropped the pack so’s I could peel off my aul T-shirt, it was soaking so it was. I stood in the sun for a bit arms spread wide to soak up the heat. Lana came and stood beside me on a flat rock wobbling slightly as she did the same she had a new bikini on underneath her T-shirt she held her hands out straight and wafted air under her arms, there was big sweat patches on her T-shirt and red strap marks on her shoulders where her pack had been.

  I stuffed my soaking-wet T-shirt into the bag and fished out a bottle of water that was almost empty, I drank half of what was left and offered the last of it to Lana her hair had gone dark where it was stuck to her forehead and ears she looked like she needed a wee bit of refreshment sort of thing.

  The waterfall was a bit disappointing after such a long aul hike through the jungle but we were still glad to have found it the water was flowing dead slow over a two-metre-wide shelf in the rock face then plunged about another ten metres into a shallow pool below, from there it dandered through a series of rocks down to the stream we’d been following to get there, not exactly Niagara Falls, Lana goes.

  Have you been there, I says, I always fancied it. Yeah, she goes, once when my parents took us on a trip to Canada an old friend of my dad’s was working in Toronto. I was about twelve. You can get really close to the drop it’s pretty amazing though a girl had jumped the day before we got there.

  You’re kidding me on, I says, does that happen often like?

  I guess so, she says, I mean if you’re going to kill yourself it’s a pretty dramatic place to do it.

  Youse Americans love the drama don’t ye’s.

  About as much as we love the Irish, she goes, so out of the blue I grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up and waded into the water she let out a big shriek and batted her fists against my chest but she couldn’t stop me from dunking her in the pool. I was laughing as she stood up waving her arms and shaking the water from her hair, right you’re dead, she goes.

  She took a lunge at me and I stepped back to try and get out of her way but I slipped on the aul mossy bottom of the pool and sat down on my arse in the water. Lana cackled as she splashed me but I stood up dead quick and scampered back to the rocks, fuck sake, I says, you could of waited until I had my trunks on.

  It’s funny how you call them trunks, she goes, you’re not that well endowed you know, is that right, I says, and I suppose you’re an expert in these matters are ye?

  I am a young woman of some experience yes, she goes, aye right, I says, I don’t want to know about that thank you very much.

  My shorts were soaking so I undid the buttons and took them off underwear too which got me a wolf whistle from Lana who was floating on her back and watching me. I laid them out on a rock in the sun and turned to strike an aul corny body-builder pose. Not bad, she says, God you’re tan it’s so annoying.

  I waded back into the pool and leaned forward to start swimming sticking my tongue out as I passed her heading for the falls. She went back to shore and took off her own shorts and bikini draping them dead careful next to my clothes on the rocks. She stood in a star shape next to the pool then throwing her head back to the sky, at last we can get naked here, she says, there were too many people around at the resort.

  I’d reached the falling water and pulled myself up onto a rock, streams of cold liquid poured down over my head and shoulders shocking me into taking sharp breaths. I tensed up against the sudden drop in temperature and watched Lana through the spray of the waterfall, a pink X against a backdrop of green and blue a wee triangle of orange at her centre. The aul camera shutter closed in my head, that was when I knew for certain what I was going to do and what direction my life was about to take and I defy anyone not to make the same choice.

  Big Jim and others like him would always be out there, part of my past maybe but never far away. Yer man with the Loyalist tattoos turning up at the bar was like some aul spectre hanging over me. I had to get as far away as I could if I was ever going to put that world behind me.

  It was simple in the end really. I just wanted to go on, make something of my life, go somewhere new and make a home, to love and protect this woman till her dying day, to raise a son maybe call him Mark and let him be the best man he could be.

  I want to live, and I’ll never surrender.

  The author would like to thank:

  David Winter: Editor, supporter, moustache model.

  Jane Novak: Publicist, supporter, sophistication model.

  Michael Williams: Honest early draft reader, beard model.

  Josephine Rowe: Friend, Josephine Rowe model.

  James Bradley, Nick Earls, Adam Levin, Wells Tower, DBC Pierre: Writers, supporters, terrible role models.

  Jemima: Kittytorial suggestions, cute fluffy model.

  Eirian Chapman: Centre of Universe, catwalk model (pending).

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