by Emma Renshaw
“Valerie, Harper, these guys are Hudson, James, and Liam.” She points to each of us. “Guys, these are my best girls, Valerie and Harper.”
I reluctantly tear my gaze from Savannah to meet her two friends. I reach across the table and shake their hands. James, who grabbed a chair and is sitting at the end of the table, shakes their hands, too, but he is still looking at me.
I level him with a stare as his brow arches. I need to find out what is between Savannah and James. He obviously doesn’t like me near her.
“Sav, you didn’t tell us you know these fine men.” Valerie looks at each of us. “She saw me drooling over you boys when you walked in, but she didn’t say a word.”
“James owns the gym I go to, and Hudson is there almost as much as I am. I just met Liam the other day.” She blushes when she looks at me. I haven’t moved my eyes for more than a minute. I can’t look away from her face.
“Well, if they all look like that, then maybe I need to sign up at your gym,” she says.
Harper laughs. “Didn’t you just convince your husband to build you a home gym because you swore you would work out if it were more convenient?”
Valerie waves her hand as if that doesn’t matter.
“Gabe goes to my gym. I’ve seen him there a few times,” Savannah tells Valerie.
“But, he’s never told me that there are men like this there!”
“Maybe that was the point. He doesn’t want you looking at anyone but him. And he doesn’t look at the men!”
Hudson points to the platters in the middle of the table. “I think we’re going to need more food.”
“Really, man? You ate their food?” James reaches around and pops him on the back of the head.
Hudson shrugs. “I’m going to order more.”
I lean down to Savannah’s ear and whisper, “Hi.”
She finally looks at me again. “Hi.” She gives me a small smile. “Were your poor mom and sister starved to death by the time you finally made it home?”
“Nah, they were fine. I was forgiven as soon as I handed over that cinnamon roll.”
“When did you two meet?” James questions us.
“I met him at the coffee shop earlier.” She looks over to James. He stares at her, and she stares back. Her head cocks slightly, and his eyes narrow. My eyes volley back and forth between them, trying to work out their relationship. Their silent conversation leads me to believe they know each other well. James finally nods his head one time, and I feel the tension release from Savannah. She continues, “He was getting coffee for his mom and sister. We got to chatting, so he was late delivering their breakfast.”
James turns his head to the other side of the table. He’s like a silent sentry sitting at the head of the table. His head is on a constant swivel, watching us, and the surroundings. I notice his chair is not directly facing the table, but slightly turned, so his back is more toward the wall than the restaurant.
Returning my focus to Savannah, I see now she is watching me. Her moss green eyes are slightly glassy, a result of several glasses of wine. A thin, straight nose ends in the perfect little button. Her plush, full lips are the color of cotton candy. They’re fucking perfect. I’m dying to mold my lips to hers and consume her. Her eyes flit across my face. Her brows pull in and her lips pucker, a mask of confusion taking over her face.
The rest of the table has fallen away. In the background, I can hear murmuring of the conversation happening around us, but neither one of us breaks eye contact. I’d be willing to bet Savannah is just as curious about me as I am about her. “What are you thinking?”
After a long beat, she shakes her head, her expression smooth. “Not a thing.”
“I still want you to go out with me,” I whisper in her ear. “I’ve decided to try and convince you I’m worth at least one date.”
A waiter comes up to the table, stealing Savannah’s attention. I turn toward him, ready to order more food for the table. The guy, a young blonde, is leaning on the table between James and Hudson. His body is almost completely blocking Hudson, and his attention is focused on the women. “Do y’all want another appetizer?” He looks over at Savannah, his eyes dropping to her cleavage. “It’s on me.”
I put my arm on the back of the booth and drop my hand to Savannah’s shoulder, claiming something that is clearly not mine, but she sure as hell isn’t this fucker’s, either. Hudson coughs and speaks up. “Everything they’ve had tonight will be on our tab. We’ll take one more bottle of wine and another round of the same appetizers.” The waiter stands as Hudson places his arm on the table, turning his body toward Valerie and Harper, effectively blocking him out. The waiter turns to leave.
“Don’t be mean to him!” Harper complains. “He’s our usual waiter. We love him!”
“Yeah! He’s like our little puppy. His flirting is harmless.” Valerie says.
My finger is running up and down Savannah’s shoulder, she hasn’t moved a muscle since I put my arm around her. She looks at her friends, then to me. “He really is harmless, just a shameless flirt.”
James grunts. “Little bastard is disrespectful.”
“Cavemen. All of you,” Valerie says, rolling her eyes.
Valerie’s husband shows up soon after the rest of the wine and food is polished off. Only the women drank more wine, since they wouldn’t be driving. I’ve been nursing a glass of water, sobering myself up. Savannah and Harper are giggling and whispering to each other. Valerie is passed out, leaning against the wall.
“Standard girls’ night out, I see,” Gabe says.
“Gabe!” Savannah and Harper squeal. “This is Liam, James, and Hudson. They work out at my gym. Jamesy Bear is my best-est friend.”
Best Friends, I think to myself. I wonder if James just thinks of her as a friend. I shake the hand Gabe is holding out, then get up and drop enough cash on the table to cover the tab.
“I know who James and Hudson are, Sav. I work out there, too. Remember?”
She hiccups, looking confused. “Oh, yeah!” She bursts into giggles. Her laugh and giggles bring an automatic smile to my face. I can’t get enough of those loud, crazy sounds.
After Hudson and Harper exit the booth, Gabe hauls Valerie out, winding an arm around her waist to balance her.
“Come on, babe,” he says.
“One of us can take them home, so you can get her into bed,” I say to Gabe.
He looks straight at Savannah. She nods her head. “Are you sure?” he asks. She nods again, looking slightly more clear-eyed. The exchange woke her up a bit.
“I’ll take y’all,” I say quietly, reaching out to put my hand on her shoulder.
“No, that’s okay,” she says.
I’m confused. She seemed to be okay with us taking her home. “I really don’t mind,” I insist.
She looks straight at me, eyes wide and bouncing back and forth between the rest of the group and me. Her breathing slightly accelerated. “I don’t tell people I don’t know where I live.” What? Is she scared of me?
Gabe leans in, whispering in Savannah’s ear. “I’m okay,” Savannah says nodding her head. “James?”
“Yeah, I got you.”
I turn to James. He’s looking at me with an intense gaze I don’t understand. I step up to him and Hudson. “What am I missing here?”
“Hell, if I know,” Hudson says. “I see who I’m going home with, though.” He walks off toward a group of women, and in seconds, he has them laughing. I turn my focus back to James.
“Ain’t my story, man.”
I can respect that. I don’t pressure him for more. I’m not done with Savannah. I will get to know her, and she will tell me. “What’s your deal with her?”
“Just good friends.” I can tell there is more to their relationship than that, but I don’t see any jealousy on his face. He just cares for her as a friend. “I know you’re interested.”
“I am,” I confirm.
“You’re cool, I like you, but if y
ou fuck with her, your body will never be found. It’s as simple as that. That girl may as well be my sister. I won’t stand in her way of something she wants, but I’ll sure as hell protect her.”
“Understood.”
He moves around me, going toward the girls. “I’ll see you on Saturday.” He claps his hand on my back. I watch as they exit the bar and get into his blacked-out SUV.
9
SAVANNAH
I’m setting the food out on the long wooden tables that look like picnic tables, but much larger, each one holding around thirty people. James sets up four tables in the middle of the gym every time he hosts these dinners. I was here the first time James hosted a dinner. He started out just giving food to some kids who needed it, and now it’s grown into a community event.
Each table is set up family-style with large serving bowls. That was my suggestion to James. Make it feel like a family dinner rather than going through a buffet where you’re served by helpers. I help some of the mothers with basic self-defense training. Many have abusive spouses who they are trying to escape, but it isn’t always easy. Some have gotten away, but fear their spouse will come back. I know learning simple maneuvers can make you feel safer. Learning to fight has brought me comfort I didn’t think I would ever feel again.
James comes over to me at that moment, helping with the place settings. He gently knocks his shoulder into mine as a greeting.
“Thanks for getting me home the other night.”
“All good.”
He’s taken me a home a few times. He’s one of the few people who knows where I live.
“He wanted to take you home, you know.”
My posture goes rigid as I tense. I’m barely able to squeak out, “Who?” I know exactly who he is, but I’m not falling into this trap. And, James knows exactly why I wouldn’t let him take me home.
James scoffs. “Don’t play that way with me.”
“Did you tell him anything?”
James’ hand freezes in mid-air while setting a fork down. He sucks in a sharp breath. I turn my head to look at him. His face slowly comes toward mine, brows down, lips in a sneer. He seems offended and angry.
“Never.”
I sigh, feeling defeated. “I know, I’m sorry.”
James goes back to placing the silverware. He gives a nod; I know I’ve upset him. He prides himself on being a good man, one who would never break someone’s trust or risk the safety of an individual. He’s the only person I’ve become friends with, after my life changed, who knows what happened.
We move to the next table, working as a team with each place setting. The tense silence hangs around us, swirling into every pore. James is the person who told me to keep my address and whereabouts on lockdown. He’s the one who trained me in the middle of the night when I was too scared to come into a gym full of men. He’s the one who checks up on me and runs practices with me. I’m safe right now, but I won’t always be safe. The threats from my past will come back. It’s only a matter of time. James keeps me prepared and ready for that moment.
“James.” I place my hand on his bicep and squeeze. He freezes again, his shoulders tensing even further. “James, please.”
He sets down the utensils and turns to me, the hard look on his face hasn’t vanished. “You fucking know I would never betray you, risk your safety, or put you in an uncomfortable position. You fucking know that.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It was stupid of me. You’re the person I trust most in the world. I never doubted you. I don’t know where that question came from.” I open my arms and wrap them around his bear-like body. I rest my head against his chest, and finally he wraps his arms around me, too, and rests his head on top of mine.
“It’s okay.”
I squeeze him one more time. “I am sorry, James.”
“Stop. No more apologizing. It’s done. We’re good.”
He turns back to the task at hand. We fall back into silence, but it’s no longer tense or uncomfortable.
“He’s interested.”
“I know. He asked me on a date.”
“I think it’s a good idea.”
I’ve stopped setting the places, unable to look anywhere but at him. “You do?” I ask, completely shocked. He is constantly warning me away from guys and stepping in when men approach me at the gym.
“Yep.”
“Why?” I slowly go back to setting each place.
“You need to live your life. I didn’t know you before, but from the pictures I’ve seen and the stories Valerie and your mom tells, your life was much fuller before. You need to live that life again. I’m not saying abandon all sense and throw your safety out the window. You need to remain smart and keep your personal shit locked down, but getting out there won’t hurt you. He’s a good dude. Let him take you out. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I think we both the know the worst that can happen.” I sigh, shaking my head, not willing to go there. I change tracks. “You barely know him. This is so unlike you.”
He sighs, exasperated. “I know enough. He’s good people. I warn you away from others because they’re not.” He shrugs, like it’s the easiest decision in the world.
We finish the table in silence. There is a part of me that wants to take a chance. My heart races every time I think of Liam. His sinful smile and rusty voice make me clench my thighs together.
James comes up behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. “Just think about it.” He kisses the top of my head and walks away.
I have been thinking about it. Too much. He’s been on my mind since that morning at the coffee shop. James asked what’s the worst that can happen. My mind races to my past. I know the worst, I’ve lived the worst. I don’t have a desire to do it again. Yes, I’ve gone on dates, but I always carefully select the men I date. I consciously choose men with whom I don’t want a lasting relationship. I do that because I know after a small amount of time, we will move on. It’s safe. It’s easy. It’s the only way I have been able to have some sort of love life over the past six years. James’ words echo in my mind. Take a chance. I know the worst of what could happen, but what’s the best?
I place the last glass down on the last place setting and look up just in time to see Liam walking into the gym, immediately seeking me out. His dark jeans hang low on his hips. His broad chest and shoulders look like they’re about to burst out of his green Henley. A playful smirk edges the corner of his mouth. He knows I am checking him out. My eyes dart around, looking for anything to latch onto, an excuse of what I could have been looking at, instead of him. I release a shaky breath, right before he reaches me.
When he steps right in front of me, his eyes scan me from head to toe, twice. He leans in and places a kiss on my cheek and whispers in my ear, “Beautiful, as ever.”
10
LIAM
Fuck. Savannah smells so good. I quietly inhale her intoxicating scent as I lean to kiss her cheek. Her breath catches when my lips make contact with her cheek. I know she feels the chemistry.
Her voice is breathy when she whispers, “Hey, Liam.” I harden behind the zipper of my jeans, my name coming out of her mouth in that breathy way makes me picture her under me, over me, in front of me. I step back from her personal space, even though I want to stay. I want to invade every one of her senses, where nothing else exists, except the two of us.
I look around the gym. There are four large, wooden tables with place settings at each spot. James is unfolding smaller tables in the area where weights are usually set up. A few more people mill around doing various tasks.
Hudson asked me to show up early and help with set up. I told him I would. I want to help out. I have a lot of respect for James for helping out families in this area of Austin. But I also showed up early because I had a feeling Savannah would be here, too. I’m happy to see I was right.
“What can I help with?”
“You don’t need to help.” She waves her hand as
if shoving the idea away.
James walks by at that moment. “Put his ass to work, Sav.”
Savannah rolls her eyes and mutters something I can’t catch. “Okay, well, I still need to set up a drink station. James just set up tables for different games. We have boardgames and card sets that we leave on each one. You could...” She trails off as James comes walking out from the back carrying a huge stack of boardgames.
“I guess you’re helping me with the drink station.” She turns and walks toward the back office area. There are multiple coolers and two-liter bottles all around the small office space.
“We need to set up these tables by each of the dinner tables out there.” She points to the folding tables. There are small handles on the top. I pick up four in each hand and start to walk out of the room when I hear her say, “Showoff.”
I turn back to her. Her eyes widen in surprise that I heard her. “Baby, I could show off to you in many ways, but this…” I lift the tables slightly higher. “Wouldn’t be one of them.” A pretty pink blush spreads over her cheeks. She turns her back to me and shivers. I smile, hoping she’s interested.
When I walk back into the room, she’s pouring ice into coolers. I watch her for a moment as she bends over, suppressing a groan at the show. Her dress is just long enough to keep her completely covered. I look away, not wanting to freak her out if she catches me staring. I look back in her direction when I hear the lids close. She takes a step back and slips on water. I rush forward just in time for her to land on my chest, and my arms wrap around her waist. I gently lift her back to her feet and turn her around. Still in my arms, she puts her hands on my chest and leans back, looking directly into my eyes.
If I move even a touch closer, our bodies will meld. Her breathing is accelerated, lips parted. I gaze down and notice her nipples are hardened beneath the fabric of her dress. I ache to press my body up against her heat.