“Sorry, I didn’t pack a robe and. . .” she pushed on the curlers.
“Stop.” He grabbed her hand. “Anything you need is yours.”
“Be careful. Last time someone in this house told me that I walked out with a lot.”
“Well the safe doesn’t have much in it but you’re welcome to what it has.”
She laughed, a good healthy sound, her eyes though were still red and full of pain.
“How long will it take you to get dressed?”
“You can really cook breakfast?”
“I’ve had to cook a few meals in the last three years.” He nodded trying to not watch her foot nervously slide up and down her bare leg.
“I should be dressed in about fifteen minutes as long as you don’t mind eating with me in curlers?”
“Not at all.” He turned to go down the stairs. “Your dress is on the bed.”
Madelyn shut the door with his footsteps still echoing down the stairs. The deep breath did little to settle the butterflies in her stomach and even less for the ache of her chest. He was being too helpful, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stand strong all day. Nothing would make her think about tomorrow.
With the dress on, she admired the fit in the mirror. Tess had done very good, she was sure the hat and shoes had been Rita’s doing. The dress stopped at her knees with a little room to move. The sunglasses were definitely Rita’s and might just come in handy, and not because of the sun.
Cassie would be proud of her only child. She looked good. She owned her own business. Although Mama might not be as proud of not having grandchildren. She slid on the shoes and grabbed the hat, and coat; her fifteen minutes was up.
The smell of food filled the air and didn’t further upset her stomach when she opened the door. Galen was setting the plates on the table in the kitchen when she came in. Each plate was full of flapjacks.
“You know even on a good day I can’t eat that much.” She sat the accessories on the counter.
“I didn’t know, better to have too much right.”
She had to offer him a smile, “How many ended up in the trash?”
He eyed her suspiciously, “One.”
“I can smell it.” She winked. “Still that’s not bad.”
She settled into the seat facing the back door and he slid out of the chair next to her. There was no possibility of her ignoring the back door as she stared at it.
“Would you rather eat in the dining room?”
“No, Galen.” She slid her hand over his, realizing too late how personal the touch was. Quickly she removed it, “This is much better.”
They ate in silence and again she wondered how the house had gone from so much to so little. Harland should have been sitting across from her cracking jokes. Tess should have been at the sink cleaning the pans. Kate Langley should have been taking food to her husband in the study, or doting over Madelyn and the boys. She could see the ghosts, feel the way it should have been. Instead, it was just the two of them.
Half the flapjacks sat untouched on her plate when she pushed it away. She couldn’t eat anymore with the tears pushing, but she did rub her hands across her face to keep Galen from seeing how close she was to crying.
“Maybe you should let them fall.” He knew too well.
“I’m afraid once they start, they won’t stop.”
“Can you take those things out of your hair?”
“The curlers?” She looked at him.
“Yes.”
She touched them. “They should be set.”
“Take them out and we will drive around until we should be. . . there.” He stood and slid into his jacket.
“Why Galen?”
“Because you need to get out of this house.”
“If I do that, you pay for it right?”
“You’re not running before the funeral and after that…you’re not leaving my sight.”
He leaned on the chair as she stared at the back door.
“I want to get you out of this house,” he continued following her line of sight. “And the car is out front.”
Bastard, thoughtful bastard. She stood and walked down that hall. “Hey, Galen?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
The car was facing the street when they got in; she didn’t have to look at the garage, still she knew it was back there. She could hear Will’s voice upset, talking to her mama. Perhaps he was right, they needed to get her away from that house.
They passed down his street full of big beautiful homes. So many memories. Trees were bigger, new landscaping, but the houses all looked the same. The traffic signal made them stop, again.
She waved when people waved at them, but when they would turn away each looked a little somber. “Everyone knows why I’m here.”
“I couldn’t keep your mama’s story out of the paper.”
“I’m sure you tried.”
He ran his hand across her shoulder and down.
Reassurance was a wonderful thing but she wished for more. Those strong arms holding her like she’d awakened to in the night, with his cheek brushing across her forehead. The shear closeness of his body had caused questions. Why had he stolen the papers and turned her in? Did he really think he could keep her out of jail or was this a means to an end?
The end being: find her mother, put his father away, and make Madelyn pay for not waiting patiently by. He had to understand that she’d tried. She hadn’t agreed to marry Harland; they’d all cornered her and were saying congratulations before she could even object. Before she could say there was only one man for her on this earth.
There would also be other people, others she didn’t want to see. Her fingers started to twine together.
“Stop doing that.” Galen interrupted her thoughts. “Anyone who sees you will assume I’ve been manhandling you.”
“Well, that’s the problem.” She whined.
“I haven’t laid a hand on you.” His eyes darted to her then back to the road.
“No.” She fussed. “I’m talking about anyone who sees me. They think I stole money. They think I ran away ‘cause of it.”
“They will understand. Today you have more important things to worry about.” He stopped the car.
She looked out the front window for the first time since they’d left the city. The house hadn’t changed. Bushes pushed against the walls. Rocks lined the flowerbeds that were now empty but would be full of sprouts come spring.
Madelyn pushed the car door shut as the older woman came around the edge of the house. Her hair was in a gray cinnamon bun on top of her head. She was already dressed in her mourning frock.
“I don’t believe it.”
Maddy wondered how the woman could talk and run at her age while she couldn’t find her voice.
“He said he’d bring you home and he did.” Vicky’s arms squeezed tight. “I just can’t believe it.”
“It’s me.” She defended herself as the woman looked her over.
“All grown up.”
Vicky hugged her close again, giving her a moment to look over to thank Galen. He was looking at the ground giving them a moment.
He cleared his throat. “Why don’t you two go on inside. I’ll go for a walk.”
“Now Galen Langley, it’s too cold for you to be out walking around.”
“I’ll be fine Ms. Dutton. You two have family affairs to talk about.”
“Get your butt inside.”
Galen kept his mouth shut and followed them into the house. The poor man never had a chance.
They sat in the kitchen nursing coffee and talking. They mostly talked about Cassie without a tear shed. This was how people should be remembered. By good times and life in general, not how they passed or how young. Cassie had been too young and her daughter too young to lose her.
“How is it you stay so young?” Maddy’s eyes gleamed.
“Simple.” Vicky patted her hand.
“I never had to deal with men.”
Maddy shook her head, glanced his way, and then nodded as if she understood.
“You kids better be on your way. We don’t want to be late for the ceremonies.”
Maddy stopped smiling.
“Galen, go on out and start up that car while I bundle up my girl.”
He glanced to the back door. “Don’t let her try to run out.”
He smiled at Maddy rolling her eyes.
Aunt Vicky slowly walked Maddy to the door.
“I want to tell you about Ben.” She started.
“Who’s Ben?” Maddy had a flash of Frank on the dock, talking about Ida.
“He was my Galen.” The little woman looked up at Maddy. “He went to war but I was sure he was gonna come home. He didn’t.”
A lump formed at the base of her chest. “Aunt Vicky…”
“I never told you before because I figured Galen would go and I didn’t want you to know that I had loved once. Now sweetie,” Vicky brushed her hair out of her face. “don’t be looking sad for me. He didn’t die. He found some cute little French girl and married her. And I wrote men off from that point on. I’m telling you because you have to understand that yours came home. With only finding you on his mind.”
Maddy slipped into her coat. “Why didn’t you find someone else?”
“Oh, there have been men, I just send them home. You, though, need him. You always have.”
“I’ve been doing just fine on my own.” She slipped on the hat, trying to stop the lift in her tone.
“I’m sure you have been. There’s also been lookers, I’m sure, but you won’t be happy with any of them.”
Maddy yanked on her gloves, bent down, and kissed the old woman. “I love you.”
“Tell him that.” Vicky called as she went out the door.
Nineteen
Madelyn was upset when they pulled into the funeral home. Why, though, was the question. Vicky had only given her opinion. She didn’t need anyone though. She owned her own business and a home. It was her wants which would end up getting her in trouble.
Galen opened her door before she realized he’d even gotten out, he even offered his hand. Once her hand was in his, he clasped onto it and leaned down to her.
“If you need me, I’m here.”
His hand slipped from hers as they entered the double door. The mortician led them back to a room filled with chairs and a white coffin with bouquets standing on either side.
She stopped just inside the doors as they banged closed behind Galen. She’d prepared for this for the last six years. Yet, her stomach churned, her heart stopped, and her head spun from just standing there.
“No one will be here for a bit. You have all the time you need, even if we need to start late.”
She nodded not trusting her voice. The lump in her throat would have stopped anything she’d tried to say. Slowly she stepped forward, testing her knees with each step. At the front row, she sat her handbag and hat on the corner chair and rested her hand on the back to steady herself.
Taking a step forward, she inhaled deeply and stopped again. She started saying her ABC’s backward to keep her mind busy. When she was on U, she stepped forward. As she made it to M, she laid her hands on the coffin. By L, Galen’s arms were on either side of her holding down the lid.
“You don’t want to do that. She no longer looks like Mama, she’s…been gone too long.”
The tear splashed like an icicle dripping on the frozen river, running down the shiny surface.
“How do you know,” she trailed off. “He could have lied. Maybe it isn’t my mama in here.”
One of his hands lifted from the coffin and disappeared behind her, the other stayed firm—the one still wrapped in gauze. Coming back around he held an envelope. “Open this instead.”
Her hands shook so much she didn’t think she’d get it open. On the fourth try, the seal gave way and gleaming jewelry slid into her hand. Mama’s golden cross on the chain and her wedding ring sparkled in the overhead lights.
Galen was good to his word and held her steady as her knees gave a bit. Her hand squeezed around Mama’s personal items as she bit back the tears. One tear was enough; she would not breakdown. Not for those who would come for her mother, not for those who would come just to watch. She wouldn’t even cry for Galen, though he probably expected her too.
He helped her over to the chair and took the seat next to her.
“I still want to look.” She slid into the cradle of his arm keeping her eyes on the closed casket.
No you don’t, Madelyn.” The soldier inside had said it. The one who’d seen too many bodies and far too much war.
Galen opened the doors to the room ten minutes before they were expected to. She stayed in the chair and stared at the white box that contained the earthly remains of Mama. It was still a shock to know for a fact she was dead, though she’d said her goodbyes long ago.
That was something she’d done on her dock back in Maine during her Sunday morning communions with God. She’d said goodbye to several people she assumed were dead. Peace was made with her father. It was where she’d decided to fold and go on a date with Frank.
The dock was where she wanted to be now. She wanted to be curled up in a blanket watching the sunrise and be alone. In her mind though, Galen was there, wrapped in his arms, head on his shoulder.
She turned to see the room slowly filling up. Galen had refused to make her stand and greet the people who came in and she didn’t push to do it. He was more gracious than she was these days. It all needed to go away so she didn’t have to deal with it.
She was perfectly happy in Maine with no past. No people there that knew Mama had disappeared. No people who knew anything about her more than she choose for them to know. Of course, if she’d shared more, she wouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t know Galen came home.
Galen hugged Harland by the door and kissed Rita on the cheek.
The only thing that had not been happy about Maine was missing Galen. Of course, if he hadn’t shown up at her diner then she would have continued to miss him and think he had gone the way of Mama. She cleared her throat fighting the urge to let a tear fall.
Harland bent down and hugged her. “How you doing, kiddo?”
She nodded, forcing her lips together. The warm reception was more than she expected.
A sad smile graced his face and his hand pulled Rita down the aisle as she tried to say something.
“Honey,” Rita whispered as they took seats leaving an empty one by her, “I was just going to say my condolences.”
“I’m sure you were,” He kissed her forehead. “but I don’t think that’s what she needs right now.”
Rita still looked like the spoiled brat she always was, but she listened with the scowl set firm on her face. Perhaps the obey part of the marriage vows was doing well by her. Maddy hadn’t even thought about marriage in years.
Galen slipped into the seat next to her and the preacher took his spot at the front. As the service started, everything blurred. The man was talking about live and afterlife. Saying beautiful scriptures and Maddy couldn’t concentrate even on her own thoughts. Just staring at the white box. Wondering just why it had to end this way.
Vicky stood and talked about Cassie as a child, a mother, and a wife. Anecdotes that made people laugh. The sadness of losing her for both Vicky and Maddy had a few sniffling. Still, Maddy felt numb. This wasn’t real; Cassie had been gone too long for this to be real.
The preacher told them they would finish the service at the cemetery. Galen stood and offered his hand. It took a few seconds and she took the offer, not sure that she could walk on her own.
She settled into the back of the stretched car with Vicky, Galen, Harland, and Rita. She wasn’t thinking, She didn’t even believe she was feeling, but the tear dropped. The handkerchief came from Galen before she even realized she was crying.
No one said anything as she leaned into him. Her brea
th coming in gasps. Something about the closed in car made her feel like she was the one trapped in a coffin. No matter how much she tried to breathe, she couldn’t. Mama was trapped in a small space, alone, and she couldn’t shake the thought.
Galen pulled her tight. “It’s alright. Cry all you need but please breathe.”
She shook her head, no words could slip out past the gasps.
Rita joined in her tears. “Harland do something.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
Aunt Vicky sniffled, “If she passes out she’ll breathe.”
“Crack the windows.” The desperation in Galen’s voice didn’t go unnoticed.
His arms were tense as he held her tight, the top of her body lying in his lap, he leaned over her. His lips pressed soft against her wet check as the cool air from outside hit her.
“Just breathe, baby.” He whispered down on her.
The tears dropped harder though breathing seemed easier. It was Galen’s voice that whispered to her but she heard Mama.
“It will pass, baby. The pain will go away. The memories will stay.” Lips skimmed her cheek as he spoke. “Keep hold of all those wonderful memories.”
Harland’s voice came from across the car, “Why is it once one woman starts crying they all do?”
“I feel for her.” Rita sobbed. “I might not know what she is going through but I can still cry for her.”
“Too bad you can’t breathe for her.” Galen loosened his hold, sitting up to give her a bit more room.
She could make out the form of Harland and Rita with his arms wrapped around his wife they looked to be one big wavy mass.
Maddy took a deep breath. Mama and Pa had once been like that. A combined entity that felt for the other. When the funeral was over, her mama would be free to rest with him. They would be together again, never to be apart.
Her hands clasped over Galen’s arms as another huge breath came. She needed that feeling. She needed to feel what Galen did. Not just know how he thought, not just feel for him, she needed him to be part of her. More than just the rhythmic moving of pleasure she needed to trust him with her every emotion.
Another large inhale and he was whispering again. “That’s better.”
Finding Madelyn Page 13