by Alexa Riley
I drop down on my bed, defeated because everything she said is true. I’ll burn through my savings faster than I can find a job. I also wonder if this was part of his plan. To give me no options.
“You’re mad. Use it. I’ll leave. I know you want me to go, and I’ll give you that because I do love you. Keep your ass here, go to work and save some money. Then leave if you want to, but make a plan, Mal. Don’t put yourself on the streets.”
I hate how much truth is in her words. I can’t be stupid, but I have no idea what I’m going to do.
“Get out,” I tell her. She stands there for a second, then turns to leave. Before she can walk out, there’s something I need to know. I hate myself for the question, but I have to ask it.
“Why is he obsessed with me?”
She turns to look at me, a sympathetic expression on her face. “I don’t know. But I don’t think he’ll ever let you go.”
With that, she leaves. After a few moments, I hear the front door close, and the dam breaks. Everything comes flooding out, and I can’t hold it back. The pain of being alone again takes over, and it’s as if I’m a foster kid all over again. It’s a feeling I thought I’d never have to experience again. Maybe I’m meant to be alone forever.
Chapter Nineteen
Miles
* * *
Paige opens the door, and I push away from the wall, walking over.
“I told you this was going to happen,” she says as she locks the door behind her and pockets the key. I should have changed out that goddamn lock she put on there the first time I saw it, but I thought I had time.
This was all supposed to come out later. Long after I had Mallory to myself and had made her mine. I was supposed to have her tied to me in every way possible before her world came crashing down. Make her love me, need me, make her feel a little bit of what I felt for her.
“How did you fuck this up?” I snap at her. I want to blame anyone but myself for this. My fucking plan was perfect. Was being the key word until I fucked it up a little myself a week ago, that first night at the bar. I wouldn’t have had to do that if Paige would have kept me better filled in. Paige shouldn’t have taken her to that bar in the first place.
“I don’t know.” She looks away, and I see the tears roll down her cheeks. I forgot how long she’s been with her and how close she’d gotten to Mallory. That she wasn’t there to protect her. Not anymore. My sweet Mallory got to her, too.
“Where are you going?” I look at the bag over her shoulder, wondering what the fuck is going on. “Get back in there and talk to her.”
“She needs time, Miles. She’s heartbroken. Can’t you understand that? Try and put yourself in her position. I think she fucking loved you. She was like a sister to me. And now all of this is broken. She’s going to need time,” she says, emphasizing her point. I can be bullheaded especially when it comes to Mallory.
She walks past me, and I reach out, grabbing her arm to stop her. She looks at me with watery eyes, and it’s the only time I’ve ever seen her cry.
“Apologize, Miles. Apologize a lot. But give her time.” With that, I drop my arm and she passes by me. Before she gets on the elevator, she turns back to me. “I think she’s going to go back to work. I’ll still be watching her.” She gets on the elevator, the doors shut and she disappears.
I look back to Mallory’s apartment door and I walk over to it, unable to leave. Pressing my palms to the door, I try to feel her inside. She’s the other half of my soul; I should be there to help her with the pain. Pressing my ear to the door, I close my eyes when I hear the sounds of her sobbing. The sound hits me right in the gut. A sound I’d heard before, from another woman, a sound I told myself I’d never hear from Mallory. But here I was, all my plans falling apart, causing the very thing I’d promised I’d never do. Be like him.
“Mallory. Please. Let me in, baby. Let me explain.” I try not to shout but still make my voice loud enough so that she can hear. I wait a few moments, and nothing changes. I hear the sound of her cries, and I can do nothing to fix it.
I’ve broken the single most precious thing in my life, and nothing can mend it.
I fall to my knees and press my side against her door. I deserve to hear her heart being ripped to pieces. I’ve caused this pain, and I should have to hear every sob. Putting my head in my hands, I cry with her. Because all I ever wanted to do was to love her and have her love me. Everything I’ve done has been so that she could have only the best. But in turn, I’ve stolen away all that was good and left her in ruins.
It’s hours later when her cries quiet and I can no longer hear her. I hope that she’s found sleep or that maybe she’s gotten some peace and has been able to pull herself together.
My legs cramp and my back aches, but I don’t move away from her door. I won’t give up the chance to talk to her, even if it’s her yelling at me.
* * *
I sit in front of her door all night.
And all day Sunday.
And all night Sunday.
I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. I barely move.
She cries off and on, and each time it rips me apart all over again. But I sit and I wait, never leaving my post. I would do this for a thousand years for one more chance with her. She probably doesn’t even know I’m here, but I’ve always been with her, even when she didn’t know.
Monday morning, I’m still in the same place, standing sentry. I know it’s morning when I see light creeping in at the end of the hall. I watch the sun rise and wish I could see her face.
Then the front door finally opens.
I nearly fall over into her apartment, but catch myself in time. I look up into Mallory’s eyes, and I see so much hate there, it burns through me. I’ll take it. It’s better than indifference.
“Baby.”
For a split second, I think she’s going to say something, but instead she steps over me and walks to the elevator, hitting the button. It takes everything in me not to grab her. A control I never knew I had. Pick her up and carry her back to my home until I make her see reason. Make her understand there is no leaving me. This will end with her being mine. There is no other option. I won’t allow there to be. Period. But I know she needs soft right now. She’s already gotten too big a dose of how deep my obsession runs.
I jump up, running after her, but she doesn’t so much as glance at me. I drop to my knees in front of her, not caring how pathetic it makes me look. I want her to see that I’m willing to grovel. That I’m willing to put my pride aside and literally beg her to listen to me. She is my life, and I refuse to let her go. Losing her isn’t an option, and I will demand she listen, even if it’s from my knees.
“Mallory. You’re going to have to hear me out sooner or later.”
She hits the elevator button again, like it can’t get here fast enough.
“Mallory.” I say her name in a warning.
The elevator door opens, and I reach out to her, so close to touching her, but she steps onto it and turns to face me. She looks painfully beautiful. She’s wearing a black fitted dress with deep purple heels. I notice her hair is down, and it annoys me. Like she’s done it out of spite.
Soft, I remind myself. “Baby. I need you. Don’t go. Let me explain.” It takes everything in me not to tell her I’ll never let her go. That one way or another, she’ll be mine again.
She looks down at me, and then looks away, like the sight of me hurts her.
“Might want to get that tattoo covered.”
With her words, the doors close, and I’m left alone. Looking down, I see I’m shirtless, only wearing a long pair of sweatpants. I hadn’t given a single thought to myself or what I looked like when I ran out of my place. Only that I needed to get to her.
I get to my feet and hit the arrow to take me up to my floor. I need to ge
t ready for work. I need to get my head on straight and figure out how the fuck I’m supposed to win her back without getting kidnapping charges. I’ve got a shareholders meeting today that I’m nowhere close to ready for, but I couldn’t give a fuck about it. The only thing I care about is getting my woman back. In order to do that, I need a plan.
I get on the elevator and rub the place over my heart. I got the tattoo after the first time I saw her, and I never once regretted it. It will stay there until the day I take my last breath, like my love for her will.
I’ll win her back, or I’ll die trying. There is absolutely no room for failure.
Chapter Twenty
Mallory
* * *
I stare at the computer screen, the numbers seeming to mush together. I was thinking I could come into work early and maybe lose myself here. I thought I could get my mind to stop racing, but all I can see is Miles on his knees in front of me as the elevator doors slid closed. It took everything in me to not reach out and touch him.
I made sure I looked as perfect as I could before I opened that door this morning, even if it took an extra layer of foundation to hide the bags under my eyes. I didn’t want him to know I’d been on the other side, miserable and crying the whole time.
He sat there all weekend. I couldn’t stop myself from checking every few hours, thinking he’d leave at some point. I was certain he’d give up, but he never did. The worst thing was so many times I wanted to open the door. I wanted to get in his face and yell at him. I wanted to direct all this anger I had at someone or something. I wanted to figure out what was going on, because my mind was running wild and nothing was adding up.
Osbourne Corp has been a part of my life for a long time. Since I was a senior in high school. First the scholarships, then the internship. These are things I thought I’d earned on my own, and now I’m finding out I hadn’t. My mind can’t seem to shut off as I try to remember as much as I can. Like the fact that I was the recipient of the first scholarship the company ever gave out. That I got the coveted internship so easily, yet didn’t get any other offers.
The truth of Paige’s words hits me. If I did leave, he’d make sure no one else would hire me. He had done so once already. What’s to stop him from doing it again?
All these things floated through my mind this weekend. The little things he’d said about how long he’d waited for me. The way Paige never stonewalled him like she’d done to other men who tried to date me. I didn’t know what to do with all these odds and ends. They didn’t make any sense.
The one thing that keeps taunting me is why did he do this?
I can’t wrap my mind around the idea that he was obsessed with me. I’d never seen him before I came to New York. I would have remembered him, I’m sure of it. But he knew me somehow. Probably knew everything there was to know about me.
Worse, after I really knew who he was, I couldn’t stop myself from digging into him. Looking at every article I could find on the Elusive Billionaire Miles Henry Osbourne, they called him. There wasn’t much in the gossip magazines. Every picture I found of him he was either alone or with his mother. Except for one that looked to be when he was in college with a woman named Ivy Lennox. The picture didn’t make them look like a couple. I recognized the background of the picture and knew they were at Yale when it was taken. The tagline read The Next Big Power Couple? I had to admit they did look good together. She was completely different from me in looks. Tall, long blond hair, a waist that could rival Paige’s and a wardrobe to match her perfection.
“Still mad at the boyfriend?” Skyler asks, startling me as she looks over the top of the cubicle wall at me. Her perfect eyebrow is raised in question. I must have been lost in thought because I didn’t even hear her walk past my desk.
“That’s putting it mildly.” I know she’s only talking about the fight Miles got into with Joel. I’m actually a little worried about who else might have seen it and if anyone but her knows that I’ve been dating the boss. I don’t even want to think what those rumors will turn into.
“It was a dick move, but I have to say sometimes that whole caveman thing works for people. I know Jamie likes it when I get all territorial over her.” She smiles like she does it on purpose to get her girlfriend all worked up.
“At least you won’t have to see him much. Not like he’s ever around here. I’ve only seen him once in real life and it was when he was picking you up.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but it is.
To me it is, anyway. I can’t see him or I might crack. Hell, who am I kidding? I’ll fucking shatter. I drop my head into my hands in despair. I groan and look back up at Skyler. “God, I’m so stupid. You knew who he was, didn’t you?”
“Well, yeah.” She looks at me like I’m crazy.
“I didn’t know who he was until yesterday,” I admit.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Her eyes look like they’re about to bulge out of her head.
Then it finally clicks into place. The day she was short with me. She must have been thinking what everyone else would be thinking if they found out about Oz and me. That I was banging the boss for my job. The sad part is I’m not so sure it’s not true. If Oz didn’t have his sights on me, I probably wouldn’t be here to begin with. I don’t know if that should make me mad or not. It’s not like I’d gotten a scholarship they’d been handing out for years. This was something new and apparently created for me. I’d gotten a few small grants from community colleges, but nothing like the full ride to Yale they gave me. It had all the odds and ends, of boarding, books, a meal pass, plus some.
“I know.” I suck my bottom lip between my teeth, biting it as I look back at my computer screen.
Skyler comes around, leaning against the edge of my desk. I look over at her. What sucks is I don’t even know if I can trust her. I’m clearly terrible at telling who my true friends are and who’s being paid to watch me.
“Did you end it with him?”
I nod. For some reason I can’t bring myself to say yes. The simple nod is all I have in me.
She’s silent for a second, and then lets out a little sigh. “Is it really so bad he didn’t tell you he was a big-time billionaire? I can think of worse things you could find out about your boyfriend,” she teases.
Oh, I have a list I want to tell her, but instead I give her a half smile. I don’t want to be the girl that cries in the office, and if I start talking, that will likely happen. Worse, I’d be crying over the boss. I couldn’t get more cliché.
“God, I bet this meeting is going to be so fucking boring.” I turn my head to see Eric standing by my cubicle. He looks like he just rolled out of bed, or maybe that’s the messy hair thing I’ve seen some guys doing. I don’t get it. It looks sloppy for work.
“I think it’s a general meeting, going over random company stuff. I hear they do them periodically,” Skyler adds.
Eric shrugs and goes over to his desk.
“Think he’ll be there?” I say quietly so no one else can hear us.
“Is he mad you wanted to end it?”
I nod.
“Yep. He’ll be there.” She reaches out, squeezing my shoulder. “Act like you don’t care.”
If only it was that easy. My cold act this morning, walking five feet from him, was hard enough. I wanted to be indifferent and pretend I didn’t care at all. I thought that would hurt him more than giving him anger or tears. Indifference made it seem like he wasn’t worth any emotion. I wanted to hurt him, and I wanted him to be as miserable as I was.
Because if there’s one thing I can be sure of, it’s that while I might not get what Miles is doing, he wants me. Wants might not even be the right word. Obsession seems to fit better. It’s clearly unhealthy, but the worst part is a little flutter hits me when I think about him being obsessed with me. Even though I know it isn’t right
. Even though I know it’s crazy. I’d be lying if I denied that a deep part of me is intrigued by it.
I go back to looking at my screen. I should really try to get something done before this meeting. It’s the whole reason I came in early, to not think about Oz.
I hear a ping on my computer and look up to see a new email.
From: [email protected]
Subject: I’m sorry
I hold my mouse over the email, wanting to click it so bad. I move my cursor over to the trash button and click, then go in and block his email. I’ll crack too easily right now. It’s best if I avoid him, because I know I can stay away. It’s moments like now, when my anger isn’t at its height, that I feel weak. I want to talk to him and ask him so many things to try to stop all the questions bouncing around inside my head. Maybe then I can think. Or maybe I’d only make it worse.
I want to go back to Saturday morning and not get up from the bed. I wish I could have enjoyed that moment a little longer before the lies came crashing in and took not only Miles from me, but Paige, too. The only family I’d ever had. I lost them both in a matter of minutes. Or maybe it was me being stupid again to think I even had them to begin with.
“You ready?” Skyler asks, popping her head over my cubicle again. I glance at the clock on my computer screen, realizing I’ve been staring off for twenty minutes. Hey, maybe I don’t need to quit. At this rate, I’ll probably be fired by the end of the week.
“Yeah.”
Reaching under my desk, I grab my purse. Eric comes around to join us as we make our way down the elevator to the bottom floor of the building. We file into what looks like an auditorium. The room fills up quickly with more than two hundred people.
I take a seat between Skyler and Eric, pulling a notepad and pen out in case I need to write something down. I look over and next to the stage against the wall, I see Paige wearing all black. Today her reddish-brown hair is tied into a loose ponytail, but something about her is off. She scans the crowd, and after only a second, she’s looking right at me. Our eyes lock and a lump immediately forms in my throat. I don’t think Paige and I have spent more than twenty-four hours apart in the last four years.