Only she could save them from certain death. Only she.
The vision had haunted her for years.
It was that vision and so many others that had forced her from the convent and onto her path with the Templars. It was in Edinburgh, among the other Templars, that she had seen her two brothers once more. Pain swelled in Brianna's chest as her thoughts turned to William and John Sinclair.
Suddenly her fingers trembled. She shoved her hands into the folds of her heavy skirt. Her brothers were dead, but not by anything she had done to distract them during the battle of Teba as her father had accused her. But now Simon offered her a chance to save other Templars from a similar fate at the hands of a new enemy. Could she grasp what Simon offered and let go of her anger? Stop blaming him for destroying her dreams and preventing her from saving her brothers?
Slowly she relaxed the death-grip she had on her skirt and brought her hands atop the table. "Give me your word you'll not send me away again at the first sign of battle."
His gaze narrowed, scrutinizing her. "You don't trust me."
"Should I? If you want my help, give me your word."
"I promise not to send you away."
She reached out and grasped his forearm, waiting for his grasp in return. It was how they'd once greeted each other in the Brotherhood. "I will hold you to your word, Simon."
He hesitated only a moment before responding in kind. "I shall not fail you, milady."
At his words, warmth flared where his fingers touched. She pulled her hand away to rest it in her lap. Words of gratitude flooded her throat, but she held them back, unwilling to give him that much power over her. They had reached an agreement. He still had yet to prove his word. "I shall go with you."
"Brianna, no. You mustn't leave here," Abigail gasped.
Brianna twisted toward Abigail, who stood framed by the kitchen doorway. A sick feeling crept into Brianna's stomach. "I must."
Abigail brought her aging fingers to her cheeks. "Your father would not approve of you warring again."
Brianna straightened, relieved that feelings of betrayal slammed into her now instead of her own guilt. "My father's opinion matters not." He had given up that right a year ago when he'd disowned her.
"Abigail, I very much appreciate all you have done for me. You saved my life. You gave me hope when I had none." She stepped up to her friend, taking her fingers from her cheeks to wrap them in her own hands. "I don't understand any more than you do why I behave so unlike my own sex. But I know, deep in my heart, I wasn't born to wield a needle and thread, but to wield a sword, to protect others, and to fight for my people in any way I can. You must understand that about me by now?"
Long absent color filled Abigail's cheeks. "Aye, my child. Even at your birth, you entered this world backwards, fighting convention even then." She gave a little laugh. "Nothing has changed, has it?"
Brianna responded with a soft smile. "So you see why I must go with Sir Simon, Sir Kaden? I am needed." She bit back her own admission of "finally." Admitting such a thing would make her too vulnerable to Simon. Nay, she would keep her insecurities to herself.
Abigail nodded and gave Brianna's hands a squeeze before pulling away. She untied her apron, folding it in two, then set it across the back of the wooden chair nearest her. "I understand." She turned to face Simon. "I hope you also understand that this child has suffered enough ill treatment in her young life. I'll not allow you, or anyone else, to add to her burdens. If she must go with you, then I must go with her."
Brianna gasped. "Abigail, I could never endanger you so."
The older woman ignored Brianna as her gaze fixed on Simon. "Do we have an accord, Sir Simon? I shall serve as a chaperone while you two do whatever must be done."
"Abigail," Brianna took two steps forward, then stopped when she realized how close she'd come to Simon. She needn't move any closer to smell the hint of fresh, clean soap lingering on his skin, or feel the warmth radiating from his nearness. Nay, she needed to keep her distance. She could think better that way. "It will be dangerous."
"Sounds intriguing," Abigail said with a lift of her brow.
Brianna frowned. That was not the response she wanted. She tried again. "The man we must find has ruthlessly tortured and murdered our countrymen."
Abigail nodded. "Then let's hope you young people find him before he has a chance to do that anymore."
"What about the inn? Who will run it while we are both gone?"
She shrugged. "I can close it for a time. You know how few people stop here at present. Perhaps they are afraid to travel with this de la Roche on the loose. Finding him might help create more business." She set her jaw firmly. A sign Brianna had learned long ago meant the discussion was through.
"You are not making this easy." Brianna said, trying to reason with her friend once more.
Abigail fixed Brianna with an all-too-familiar glance. "You are not the only Scottish female with a will of iron, my child. I am going with you, and that is that."
Brianna sighed. "When do we start?" she asked with a note of concession in her voice.
"At first light if you can be ready by then," Simon replied, his tone lighter.
"We'll be ready," Brianna said. Nothing in heaven or on earth would stop her from seeing her visions through this time.
Nothing.
Chapter Five
Simon studied the woman beside him. He hadn't seen Brianna for more than a year. Time had changed her, but not in the way time usually changed people. Nay, if anything time had been her friend. Her features had lost their last vestiges of youth, revealing a goddess. Dark red wisps of hair curled against her pale, perfect skin.
How could he have ever thought she was a man, even for a heartbeat? Looking at her now, it would be impossible to see anything but her feminine loveliness. Her classically beautiful face was expressionless as she stood at his side, yet Simon could tell deep emotion simmered beneath that façade.
She made no pretense as to why she was angry or at whom that anger was directed. Him. He clenched his jaw. He'd sent her away from the battle at Teba.
To save her life.
Why did she not see that? He could feel the beat of his pulse pound against his jaw. Women. Why were they such a mystery to him? They shouldn't be ... his family should have prepared him for anything.
Simon watched as Brianna and Abigail headed from the room to make plans for their departure. The tension that had filled the small space moments before dissipated, and the chamber seemed larger for it.
"We accomplished our first goal," Kaden said from the kitchen doorway where he'd remained while Brianna and Abigail had negotiated their terms.
"Aye," Simon agreed. "It appears the women have as well."
Kaden laughed. "You always were overprotective of the gentler sex."
Simon frowned. "I was doomed at birth, having been raised with seven sisters."
"Seven? 'Tis no wonder then why your family sent you away to the monastery to study amongst other men, or why you took vows to remain in that world of men."
Simon relaxed at Kaden's banter. "Let's not discuss women any longer, for I fear we are sadly inadequate to the matter."
Kaden nodded, his expression suddenly quite serious. "Being that we are Templars."
"Being that we are men." Simon had a feeling he would never truly understand why women thought the way they did. Why Brianna wanted more than her gender allowed. She had risked everything to train as a knight. She'd disguised herself as a distant cousin to the Sinclairs.
No one had questioned her as she gained entrance into the sacred circle of the Templars to become one of them. It was only once they were on Crusade, living in close quarters, that Simon had uncovered her guise. He hadn't seen her femininity in the way she battled, walked, or talked. He'd seen it in the simpler moments like when they ate; she always waited for everyone to be served before she took her first bite. Or when they slept at night; she'd tuck one hand beneath her head, cushioning her c
heek.
Looking back now, he also realized she bathed by herself, never changed her clothing with the rest of them, and refrained from their rough and tumble games. Yet she'd thrown herself into many battles alongside the other men over and over again. Simon frowned. Why would she risk death or discovery to follow her visions? Did what she saw in her mind empower her or frighten her into seeing things through?
Simon stared at the doorway through which Brianna and Abigail had left. Fear or strength, it did not matter to Simon what her visions did to her; he would see that she had them, many and often, in order to learn what they could about de la Roche.
"What do we do now?" Kaden asked, interrupting Simon's thoughts.
"For a start, you and I are going to the stable to see what kind of horseflesh these women own, then make our plans from there."
Kaden frowned. "It's going to be a long night, isn't it?"
"You never had any sisters, did you?"
The young knight shook his head.
Simon clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Prepare yourself, Kaden. It could be quite some time before we know a moment's peace again."
At dawn the next morning, Brianna crept silently into the stable where Simon and Kaden had bedded down for the night despite the fact they had every room available at the inn. The men had preferred to sleep with their horses. On tiptoe she moved to the two horses Abigail kept for travelers' needs.
Brianna grasped her favorite harness and saddle from the rest of the tack. She made her way to Magic's side. At her approach the horse lifted her nose and eagerly rubbed it against Brianna's outstretched hand. "My beauty," Brianna whispered against the horse's ear. "Good morning. Are you ready for this?"
The horse tossed its head, and a responding wave of nervous anticipation flared in Brianna's chest. She couldn't sleep last night, not one wink, as her mind had raced through the possibilities that lay ahead of her.
Her gaze crept to the reclining figure of the man who had, in part, given her back a small glimmer of hope that her life might amount to something — that the dreams she had each and every night had meaning. Yet caution held her back. Would he be true to his word? Would he allow her to see this journey through, to fulfill her destiny? Would she be able to prove to herself and the rest of the world that she was as good as any man — that her visions were a gift as the Mother Superior had once called them and not the ravings of a madwoman as Brianna had begun to suspect? Brianna pressed her lips together at the thought. It wasn't the rest of the world she wanted to convince she was worthy — for her, the world amounted to only her father and Simon.
A familiar hurt centered in her chest. Damn them both for not believing in her, for rejecting her. Brianna straightened. One thing she had learned over the last year was that no one could take away her sense of worth unless she let them. And she wasn't about to let that happen to her again.
"What are you doing?" a male voice came at her from behind.
Brianna lifted the edges of her dress and turned to face Simon. He stood with his sword drawn. She frowned down the length of the blade. "You have no need of that weapon here."
"Answer my question." Slowly he lowered his sword, no doubt reacting more from habit than from any threat by her. "What are you doing?"
"Haven't you ever seen anyone saddle a horse before?"
"With what intent, Brianna?" he asked, his tone brittle.
Her frown deepened at the distrust in his voice. "I'm excited to get going. I didn't want to waste time waiting for you to prepare the horses. I thought I'd take care of it myself."
"Because as well as fight, you can saddle a horse better than I can. Is that it?"
"You taught me how to saddle a horse, you fool. Why would I think I could do it better than you?"
"Because to you, everything is a challenge you must excel at. Saddling the horses is no different than winning a sword fight."
She turned away from him to slip the bit between Magic's teeth then fit the bridle comfortably around the horse's ears before securing it. "Believe whatever motive you like. I've told you the truth." She moved to the tack and snatched up two more bridles. She faced Simon and thrust them into his joined hands, avoiding the sword he still held. "Make yourself useful and saddle the horses you brought with you."
The spark of challenge lit his dark eyes. He sheathed his sword as he strode to Diago's side. "I see the last year has not dulled your tongue."
"'Twas the only weapon I was allowed." Brianna grabbed the horse blanket and settled it over her horse's back, followed by the saddle. A heartbeat later she moved on to Abigail's old gray mare. He moved on to Kaden's horse at the same moment.
She wasn't racing him, Brianna reminded herself as she finished setting the bridle in the mare's mouth faster than she ever had before. The old horse's gaze followed Brianna as she tossed the saddle onto its back. It was a look that said, "Go easy on these old bones."
Simon darted a glance at her and picked up his pace.
Brianna's fingers flew over the lashings. When she'd finished she patted the horse on the neck and turned to see Simon had finished at the same moment.
"Well done," she acknowledged begrudgingly.
He gave her an arch look. "You had a head start."
His words rang in her head and ignited her temper. She had lived for the past year in isolation from her family, sacrificing everything she held dear, and he had the audacity to insinuate she'd cheated. "I'm done here."
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you." She stopped at the door and turned to face him. "We might be partners in this search for de la Roche, but that doesn't mean I have to like you, Simon Lockhart. You are still as arrogant and pigheaded as ever." On those words, she disappeared.
Pigheaded. Him?
"She's right, you know." Kaden sat up in the pile of straw that had been his bed for the night. He yawned, then stretched. "Have you always been like this around her?"
"What do you mean? I'm no different with her than with anyone else."
Kaden's laughter filled the morning air. He stood, dusting the remnants of the straw from his leather jerkin and breeches. "Watching the two of you is like watching two deer with their horns locked, battling over territory. You're both all muscle and no brains."
"I resent that."
Kaden shrugged. "Resent it all you like. It's the truth."
Simon was surprised by Kaden's words, though he shouldn't have been. Brianna's presence had always set him on edge. Why would today be any different? "What do you suggest?"
"Let the woman win occasionally. She and her visions are helping us, after all."
Let her win. She would win most of the time even if he didn't let her, but a part of him still couldn't accept her skill. She was first and foremost a woman. "Come on," Simon said, heading for the door that Brianna had vanished through. The sudden silence was heavenly, but that's not why they were here. They'd come to find Brianna and make use of her dreams. He frowned at her retreating back. Before they began this adventure, however, he had one more stop to make.
He had to return to Rosslyn Castle. And this time he would speak with her father no matter his excuses. During their journey to Teba, William and John Sinclair had mentioned secret underground catacombs that existed beneath the old chapel at their home. The catacombs would be the perfect place to relocate the treasure. The chapel was close enough to Edinburgh and the Templar brothers who lived there, that they might help protect the artifacts without major disruption to their lives.
Simon clenched his jaw. Moving the Templar treasure was almost as urgent a task as finding and stopping de la Roche. He had to convince Brianna's father to allow him to use the already excavated tunnels. If not, it might take years to prepare another hiding place as secure as the Sinclair brothers had claimed the catacombs to be.
And perhaps while he was there he could also help bridge whatever divide had come between Brianna and her father.
It seemed like the perfect solution.
Of course, he didn't have to tell her.
Chapter Six
Brianna tasted fear as the scenery where they headed became familiar. They'd passed many rolling green fields dotted with acacia trees, but at the sound of the River North Esk, the scene resonated in her memory. They came to the top of a rise and she looked down to see the familiar sight of Roslin Glen bathed in late afternoon light. "Simon, where are we heading? I thought you said it was to Crosswick Abbey?"
"We needed to make one stop first," he replied, bringing his horse alongside hers. "I wish to speak with your father."
"He won't see you." He won't see anyone. "He went into deep mourning after the loss of his sons."
"It's been more than a year since they—"
"Grief resolves in its own time," she snapped. She hadn't meant to snap, but then she hadn't ever meant to come back here either. She glowered at Simon. "You should have told me."
"Would you have come?" he asked with a lift of his brow.
"Nay." She'd suffered enough hurt and rejection at her father's hand. She needed no more.
He smiled faintly. "That's why I didn't tell you. I need you with me. What I ask of your father is great. I thought perhaps…"
She laughed. "My presence will only turn my father against your cause." She reined to a stop at the edge of the bridge approaching the castle. "He is more likely to do as you wish without me nearby. I shall wait here."
His smile faded. "Are you frightened of the man?"
A heaviness came to her throat and she cursed herself for it. The man deserved no more of her tears. "Let's just say my father and I see the world differently."
He studied her as Kaden and Abigail brought their horses alongside Brianna and Simon.
"Is there a problem?" Kaden asked.
"Of course not," Brianna replied, catching the look of concern on Abigail's face. Abigail understood.
Simon's gaze continued to probe Brianna's.
She straightened and looked away, hiding her pain.
A Knight to Desire Page 4