by E. N. Joy
“No problem. You sounded desperate when you called. So I called up my scheduled appointment and asked if we could push it ahead by an hour.” Ryan pulled down a blue backdrop.
“And an hour is all we’ll need.” Paige patted Miss Nettie’s salt-and-pepper hair into place. She then dug in her purse and pulled out her pink MAC lipstick.
“I don’t need no lipstick. I’m taking a picture for the newspaper, not to send to the circus to see if they looking to hire a new clown.” Miss Nettie swatted away Paige’s hand that was holding the lipstick.
Ryan took a break from positioning the lights to ask, “You wouldn’t happen to be kin to Sister Eleanor, would you?”
“Who?” Miss Nettie said, confused.
“Ryan,” Paige scolded.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I was just asking.” He went back to setting up.
Paige turned to Miss Nettie. “Okay, no lipstick, but at least let me—”
“Will you stop fiddling around with me?” Miss Nettie swatted at Paige. “Fixing my hair, straightening out my dress, trying to put makeup on me. You’re making me more nervous than I already am. I already didn’t think a picture was necessary. Why can’t we just post the ad with me saying I’m looking for my boy?”
“For all you know, Miss Nettie, your son could be the spittin’ image of you. He could recognize the details you’re going to give, and if he sees your picture, he might think he’s staring at himself. Or maybe the father will see it, or an auntie, an uncle, somebody. The more you can include in the ad, the better.”
“I don’t know.” Miss Nettie turned away from Paige.
Paige looked at Ryan, exasperated. She threw her hands up.
“Let me,” Ryan mouthed to Paige.
“You know, Miss Nettie, I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life that I’m ashamed of, embarrassed about, and just flat-out feel humiliated about,” he said. “It’s bad enough that there is a name to go along with some of it. The last thing I want to do is plaster my face next to it.”
Ryan must have been talking right to Miss Nettie’s ears, because she slowly turned to face him.
“You’re a God-fearing woman, right?” he asked her.
Miss Nettie nodded. “Not all my life, though.”
“But long enough for God to forgive you, right?”
She nodded again, taking in this young fellow’s words.
“God has forgiven you, and the blood of Jesus has wiped you clean. That’s all that matters. We can’t hide from the things we’ve done in our past, but we can let them go. But you know what, Miss Nettie? This may go against what a lot of folks believe, but some of my old mess I’m going to hang on to. Not to play the ‘woe is me’ game or anything like that, but to show it to somebody else. In other words, to tell my stuff to help somebody else. Now, I’m not some ‘every Sunday of the month’ churchgoing guy, so I might not be using all the right biblical words and whatnot. But hopefully, you get what I’m trying to say.”
Her eyes watering, Miss Nettie just stood there, staring at Ryan. “I know exactly what you’re trying to say. And if I ever do find my boy and he wants anything to do with me, I’m going to introduce him to you. You’ll be a good role model and inspiration. And whoever told you that you had to go to church to let God use you to relay His message was dead wrong. Because, young man, you just ministered to my heart more than you’ll ever know.”
Ryan nodded his thanks and appreciation for Miss Nettie’s kind words. He then put the finishing touches on getting set up.
“Well, are you ready for this?” Paige asked Miss Nettie, a hand on each of her shoulders.
“It’s been a long time coming. Yes, I’m ready.”
“Then here we go.” Paige helped Miss Nettie position herself on a stool.
Ryan then snapped head shots of Miss Nettie. In some of the shots Miss Nettie was smiling too much. In others she wasn’t smiling enough. They managed to find a happy medium, a shot that had just the right look and feel for the article they were putting in the paper.
As soon as they finished the photo session, Paige and Miss Nettie headed back to Paige’s place and went straight to the computer.
“Deborah should have e-mailed the article to me by now,” Paige said as she logged on to her computer. On their way to Ryan’s studio, Paige had called Deborah up and asked her to write a single paragraph about Miss Nettie and the fact that she was trying to find her son. Since Deborah was an editor and her husband was a renowned author, Paige knew they were the two people to call on. They were like the Jay Z and Beyoncé of the literary industry.
Paige went to her e-mails, and sure enough, an e-mail from Deborah was there. She downloaded it and read it silently. “It’s perfect,” Paige said to Miss Nettie when she had finished.
“What does it say?” Miss Nettie hadn’t bothered to read it alongside Paige.
Paige cleared her throat and began to read the one-paragraph article that they would post in the daily paper, along with a photo of Miss Nettie.
“Netrice Carla Hudson is a blessed woman of God who has not been saved all her life. Prior to turning her life over to the Lord, she turned over her newborn baby, to be raised by strangers.” Paige looked at Miss Nettie to make sure those words hadn’t stung her in any way.
Miss Nettie nodded for Paige to continue.
“In and out of jail, and suffering from mental issues, Miss Nettie felt the baby was probably better off. But now that God has cleaned her up and given her a new life, she wants to include her son, whom she’s never met and who has never met her, in her life. Miss Nettie gave birth to a bouncing baby boy on April twenty-fifth, nineteen seventy-five, at Grant Medical Center in downtown Columbus, Ohio.” So far in the article Deborah had relayed every bit of information that had been shared with her. Had they been able to get their hands on the birth certificate, they would have even given her the time of birth.
Paige continued to read. “The son she gave birth to was given up for adoption to a married couple, who remain anonymous. All records have been sealed. We need your help in finding the son of Miss Hudson, lovingly known as Miss Nettie. If this story matches up with your life or the life of someone you know, we would love to hear from you. Please e-mail us at [email protected].” Paige looked at Miss Nettie. “How does that sound?”
“Like the truth,” Miss Nettie said. “Like the truth.”
Chapter 15
Paige couldn’t think straight as she fumbled all over her dresser, looking for the match to the earring she already had in her ear. Ryan had called her a couple days ago and had invited her to dinner. He’d mentioned that he had something very important to ask her. Paige had accepted the invite with the quickness.
Even though Paige had been back in touch with Ryan for only a little over a month, he’d had her heart for years. So it would be no surprise if that thing he had to ask her was for her hand in marriage. Paige was almost certain that that was what he wanted to do, to propose. He was the type of man who knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. And he’d made it clear plenty of times that he wanted Paige. That God had promised her to him. He’d waited so long that Paige was convinced he couldn’t wait any longer.
“And to just think that I could have lost him,” Paige said to herself as she continued to search for the errant earring.
Ryan had tried his best to downplay the whole brain tumor thing, but Paige knew that anytime a doctor had to go in and open someone’s head up, it was serious business. Anytime a person had to be put to sleep with anesthesia, there was a chance that he or she would not wake up.
“I could have lost my Ryan,” Paige said regretfully. Her tone then changed to one of frustration. “The same way I lost that frickin’ earring,” she huffed. Just then her eyes landed on the missing earring. It was among all the jewelry that had just been in order, nice and neat, before she’d run through it like a tornado. She held the earring up in front of her face, admiring it. “But I found it. And I found Ryan.” S
he began to put the earring in her ear. “And I’m not losing him again.” In a playful mood, Paige looked in the mirror and did her best impersonation of Nettie from The Color Purple. “Nothing but death can keep me from it.” She laughed at her own joke and then went to the closet to retrieve the pumps she planned on wearing with the formfitting, cream-colored Guess dress.
After Paige had gotten herself together completely, she was surprised that she still had five minutes to spare before Ryan was due at her doorstep to pick her up. She had been certain that the earring setback would put her further behind than just five minutes. It felt like she had looked for it forever. Paige decided to just sit on the couch and do nothing while she waited. She needed to get her mind right and relax herself. She was all wound up and didn’t want to seem too anxious when Ryan popped the question.
She inhaled and exhaled a couple times and then found herself turning to prayer. “Lord, I just want to thank you and bless your name right now. You are so awesome and so faithful to me. You always know exactly what I need.” She paused, a smile covering her face. “And who I need. And you always know the perfect time. God, you know what I can handle and what I can’t. Although I would have loved to have been there to support Ryan during his brain surgery, you knew I wasn’t the one. You knew I wasn’t in a state where I could have even thought there was a chance I could lose that man.” Paige had to take a break to catch her breath. Just the thought of losing someone she loved . . . again . . . shook her very being. “But, Lord, I thank you that you kept Ryan and that the Holy Spirit was there to be a comfort to him. I thank you for never, ever putting more on me than I can bear, and for giving me the strength to endure the things that I must. In Jesus’s name, I pray . . .”
The doorbell chimed just then, drowning out Paige’s “Amen.”
She jumped up from the couch, straightened her dress, and then walked over to answer the door. “Well, good evening, Preacher Ryan.” Paige smiled. Ever since Ryan had ministered to Miss Nettie, she’d been jokingly referring to him as a preacher.
“Will you stop it with that preacher business?” Ryan said before leaning in and kissing Paige on the cheek. “You look gorgeous, but then again, you always do. You looked gorgeous in jeans and a T-shirt, passing out potatoes and cucumbers.”
Paige laughed while blushing. “And you look good too, as always.”
“Okay, so now that we’ve determined that we are America’s most beautiful couple, move over Will and Jada,” Ryan said.
“Even though I could stand here all night and drown in all your compliments, a sista is hungry. So let’s go.”
Paige locked up her house, and she and Ryan drove to the Hickory House, a wonderful steak house that was known for its award-winning barbecue ribs. It was located in the neighboring city of Reynoldsburg, which was only a few minutes away from Paige’s home in Malvonia. During the car ride to the restaurant, Paige tried to get Ryan to reveal what he wanted to talk to her about.
“I have to admit, I’ve been wondering what this important thing you have to ask me is,” Paige said, hinting, hoping Ryan would just go ahead and tell her.
It was no use. His eyes were on the road, and his mind was more concerned with the menu options he’d have to decide upon. “Should I have chicken or fish?” he pondered out loud.
When they finally arrived at the restaurant, Paige was nervous all over again. Ryan hadn’t given her a clue as to what he wanted to talk to her about. This had only built up Paige’s anxiety that much more. She hadn’t been wrong about calling up Ryan and rekindling their relationship. Could she be wrong about what he wanted out of the relationship? Her nerves had even managed to chase her appetite away. She’d just have to order any ole thing so Ryan wouldn’t question her. After all, she’d just told him how hungry she was.
Paige hated that after they were seated and given menus, the waiter had to come back twice so that he could take their order. Ryan was having the hardest time choosing his entrée. Now he was torn between the steak and the ribs. Paige knew that he wouldn’t get into any kind of deep conversation until after their order had been taken, to eliminate all interruptions. She was relieved when he ultimately ended up ordering a platter that offered both ribs and steak. Paige settled on a steak dinner.
“I can’t wait for the food to arrive. Everything on that menu looked delicious,” Ryan said.
“It sure did,” Paige agreed. “And we’ll find out if it tastes as good as it looks soon enough. But, unfortunately, we have to wait. Man, do I hate waiting.” That last line was another hint that went right over Ryan’s head.
Paige made a mental note that if Ryan hadn’t popped the question by the time her food came, she would have to cut her steak into little bites and chew each one thirtysomething times. Putting a whole lot of food in her stomach when she had such a case of nerves could be a complete disaster. After Ryan asked for her hand in marriage, she could just imagine her going to say, “I do,” and spewing hunks of steak on him.
“Yuck!” she exclaimed.
“What? What’s wrong?” Ryan asked as their waiter placed some hot bread on their table.
She hadn’t realized that she’d spoken out loud. “I, uh, thought I saw a bug down there on the carpet.”
Ryan looked down at the carpet. So did the waiter.
“But it was just one of those squiggly little designs,” Paige lied, forcing a chuckle out.
The waiter looked relieved as he walked away after assuring them their meal would be out shortly.
“Oh.” Ryan grabbed a piece of bread.
Paige watched him inhale the bread like a dang caveman. She couldn’t imagine how he could possibly have such a big appetite when he was about to pop the biggest question a man could ask a woman. Then again, maybe he was eating like this because he was so nervous. Whatever the reason, Paige was becoming impatient, and her hot bread was getting cold. She decided to speed things up a bit.
“When you invited me out, you said there was something you wanted to ask me,” Paige said, interrupting Ryan as he was about to inhale another piece of bread.
He stopped and looked at Paige, who wasn’t eating a thing. He placed the piece of bread down on his bread plate. “Oh, yeah, well . . .” He grabbed his napkin and wiped his mouth and hands. “Yes, there is something I wanted to ask you.”
Paige perked up. It was about to happen. It was all about to go down. Here it comes. Ryan was about to ask for her hand in holy matrimony.
Ryan swallowed, making sure he had no more food in his mouth. He then looked Paige in the eye. “You know how I feel about you,” he said. “I’ve never been one to hold back when it comes to telling you how I feel.”
Paige nodded. This was true about Ryan. This was what she adored about Ryan.
“You are not some woman I just want to kick it with. You are not just some woman I want to be friends with and get benefits.”
“Good. Because you know you can file that under never,” Paige said, being playful and sassy.
Ryan smiled and continued. “You are beautiful. Your children are beautiful. You’ve been through so much, and it has made you a strong survivor and not a victim. You love God. I do too, but I don’t know Him like you do. But maybe by being with you, that will all change. Who knows? But what I do know is that you are the most important woman in my life. Which is why I want to ask you this . . .” Ryan paused and began to pat down his pockets.
Oh my God. Oh my God, Paige was screaming inside her head as she watched Ryan pat down his pockets, desperately looking for something. This went on for a few seconds too long. Lord, let him find it. Let him find it.
“Oh, here it is,” Ryan said.
Paige thanked the Lord in her head for answering her prayer.
“Paige Vanderdale,” Ryan said, something buried in his hand.
“Yes, Ryan?” Paige squealed, no longer able to hold in the excitement.
“Will you meet my boys?”
“Yes, yes, yes, Ryan. I will ma—” Paig
e bounced up and down in her seat until what Ryan had just asked her completely registered in her head. “Huh? What? Come again?”
“My boys,” Ryan said excitedly as he cupped a picture of himself and his two sons in his hands.
Paige tried to keep a smile on her face as she looked down to admire the boys. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen them before. Ryan had shown her pictures of them on his phone. “They are so cute. They look just like you. More like you in this picture than in the ones you already showed me.” She had to hurry up and say something. She couldn’t just sit there, looking stupid, staring at the picture all night.
Ryan brought the picture to his face. “Yeah, that’s what everybody says.” He looked back at Paige. “But you haven’t answered my question yet. I mean, I get it. This is a big step. I met your girls only by default. I know you are not the type of woman who would be introducing your girls to any ole dude. Well, the same goes with my boys. I’d love for you to meet them. Then I’d love for you and the girls and the boys and me to get together. What do you think?” Ryan asked.
This was not the question Paige had thought Ryan wanted to ask her. In all reality, she hadn’t even thought about the fact that she had never met his boys. Shame on her. She was all in it for the man but had forgotten that his kids were a very important factor, as were hers. As a matter of fact, she was almost embarrassed that he’d suggested the blended family meeting instead of her. It wasn’t that Paige didn’t want to meet his boys. They were a part of Ryan, so it was automatic that they came with the package, just like she and her girls were a package deal. She didn’t care if she didn’t meet them until the day of the wedding. Ryan talked about them enough and had shown her enough pictures that she felt like they were already a part of her. She would accept them with open arms and would love them just as much as she would Ryan and her own girls.
She hadn’t thought about it from the boys’ perspective, though. No way would it be fair to them if Ryan just bring some woman home to them and said, “Hey, this is my wife.” Paige had been down that road already, as Norman had had to do that with his parents. Kids could be cruel, so given the chance, they would probably make Mrs. Vanderdale back then seem like an angel.