by E. N. Joy
“And I always will be. I love you too. Take care of yourself and check in to keep me informed, and I’ll let Mom and Dad know what’s going on.”
“I will. Thanks again, Sam. Good-bye.”
Paige ended her call with Samantha. She’d call the Vanderdales later so that they could hear what was going on from her as well. Right now, she wanted to go back in there and spend more time with Tamarra. Paige put her phone away.
“Paige, honey, is that you?”
Paige turned to see Pastor Margie coming up the steps. “Pastor!” Paige met her pastor at the top landing, and the two embraced in a hug.
“I’m so glad to see you here,” Pastor Margie said as she parted from Paige. “I tried to call you.”
“I know. I saw where you called me. I had honestly planned on calling you back, because I wanted to let you know what was going on. It’s just that I was so busy planning the wedding—”
“Wedding?” Pastor Margie asked.
“Yes, wedding,” Paige confirmed. “I’m sorry, Pastor. I did have every intention of telling you about Ryan.”
“Ryan?” Pastor Margie had never met Ryan before.
In the past Paige and Ryan had never stayed connected long enough. It was one of those things where you didn’t introduce the person you were dating to all your friends and family until you had been dating awhile, were exclusive, and knew you wanted to be together. Well, whenever Ryan and Paige would get to that point, life would happen. Kind of like it was happening now. This time, however, Paige had no intention of excluding Ryan from her life while she dealt with her situation with Tamarra. Once he returned, Paige wanted very much for him to be by her side through all of this. But judging by the way Ryan had turned away from her at the airport, by the words he’d spoken and the way he’d spoken them, Paige wasn’t sure she could say he felt the same about her.
“Yes, Ryan,” Paige said and then went on to give Pastor Margie a brief history of her and Ryan’s relationship, all the way up to their plans to leave on a plane to get married, her not going, and her coming to see about Tamarra instead.
“I know it must have been hard not to get on that plane,” Pastor Margie told Paige, “but obedience to the Lord is better than the sacrifice of the flesh.”
“Haven’t I learned that the hard way?” Paige joked.
Pastor Margie put her arm around Paige. “It’s all going to work out. For now, let me go in here and see about Tamarra.” She put her arms down to her sides and looked at Paige. “Were you coming or going?”
“I’m heading back in the room,” Paige answered. Paige turned, walked the few steps back to Tamarra’s room, and entered. “I’m back, and I brought even more company.” Pastor Margie stepped into the room.
“Pastor,” Tamarra said, glad to see her former pastor. “You came back.”
“Didn’t I tell you I would?” Pastor Margie smiled. “I’m just praying I’m going to walk through that front door and find you in the kitchen, making some of your famous macaroni and cheese.”
Everyone in the room laughed. Macaroni and cheese had always been Tamarra’s signature dish.
“Well, unless Unique gets down in that kitchen and burns, it ain’t gon’ happen.” Tamarra laughed.
“A girl can dream, can’t she?” Pastor Margie walked over and patted Tamarra on the hand. She nodded and said her hellos to everyone else in the room whom she hadn’t already greeted.
Tamarra broke out in a coughing spell.
“Is she okay?” Paige asked, concerned. “She coughs a lot, like she can’t catch her breath.”
“Yeah, she’ll be fine,” her mother said as she stood over her daughter, rubbing her head.
The nurse was preparing a needle for some type of injection.
“What’s that?” Paige asked.
“Just something to make her comfortable,” the nurse answered as she proceeded to find a vein to inject the fluid in. “The doctor said that if she wanted something on a regular basis, we could set up an IV, but Tamarra declined. She’s tough.” She winked at her patient.
Paige stood to the side, watching. She was clueless as to what was going on with Tamarra’s body and why she was worse off than Blake. Blake looked bad, but he wasn’t on his deathbed, like Tamarra was. But what they did have in common was that they’d both given up.
“Comfortable how?” Paige asked. “Is it, like, a medicine for the virus? I don’t understand.” Paige’s curiosity was mixed with frustration.
Sensing this, the nurse looked at Tamarra. Her eyes asked for permission to clue Paige in on Tamarra’s health status.
Tamarra nodded and said, “She’s my best friend. You can tell her everything.”
The nurse informed Paige about the different HIV virus strains and explained how Tamarra’s had turned into full-blown AIDS. She told her that the virus that had been transmitted to Tamarra was resistant to the drugs the doctors were using to treat Tamarra. Therefore, the drug therapies hadn’t worked on Tamarra.
“In all honesty, I probably contributed to the fact that they haven’t worked.” Tamarra said. “Upon learning that I was HIV positive, I both thought and spoke death over my life. That was it for me, the straw that broke the camel’s back. Seems like I’d been fighting ever since I came out of the womb. I didn’t want to fight to the grave. Just wanted to go peacefully. So I didn’t fight. Never threw one punch at the disease.”
The nurse took over. “Yeah, at first she took all the meds prescribed and did everything the doctors were telling her, only to find out it was like taking sugar pills.”
Tamarra interjected, “The treatment and doctor visits drained me of every penny I’d earned. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it.”
“And I feel so bad that I just picked up to Atlanta and left you hanging,” Unique said.
“You didn’t know,” Tamarra said. “I’d told you only that I was sick, not the severity of it. Besides, there was nothing you could have done.”
“I could have taken over the business,” Unique said. “I could have—”
Tamarra put her hand up. “We’re not going to do coulda, woulda, shouldas. Everything is what it is. No turning back.”
On that note, Unique remained silent. She then looked at the clock on Tamarra’s nightstand. “I’m supposed to be having dinner with Mom, my little sisters, and my grandmother tonight,” Unique said. “I better get ready to head out. But I’ll be back afterward.”
Paige recalled how Lorain had told her Unique had been sitting up all night with Tamarra.
“Why don’t you take a break and enjoy the evening with your family?” Paige suggested. She then looked at Tamarra. “If it’s all right with my best friend, I’m going to go home, pack a bag, and then come back. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a slumber party.”
Tamarra smiled. “Don’t forget to stop and get the ice cream.” She winked.
“I won’t,” Paige said.
“Are you sure you’re good staying?” Unique asked.
“Positive,” Paige assured her. “Go on and spend some time with your family. I’m sure they miss you dearly with you living down South and all.”
“Well, okay then.” Unique looked at Tamarra. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” She kissed Tamarra on the forehead.
“I’ll walk out with you,” the other visitor said.
“And I guess I’ll go check on that old bear of mine downstairs, to see if he needs anything,” Mrs. Evans said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be right here by Tamarra’s side,” the nurse said.
Even though Paige had her luggage packed in the car, the apparel was more appropriate for walks on the beach in the Dominican Republic. Her nighties were for Ryan’s eyes only. “I’ll be back soon,” Paige said as everyone who was leaving headed for the exit.
“Wait,” Tamarra called out, then looked directly at Paige when she turned around. “If it’s not asking too much, can you do something for me before you go?”
“Sure,” Paige said.
“One day I came to visit New Day. I sat in the back, with a large brimmed hat on. I left before service was over. I didn’t want to stir up any drama in the church.” Tamarra coughed.
“Take your time, baby,” Tamarra’s mother said to her.
Tamarra took a breath. “You were singing a solo that day. I never cried so hard, listening to you sing. It was the same week I’d found out I was HIV positive. As you sang those words, I felt as if you were speaking on my behalf. So if you don’t mind, can you sing it again for me?”
“Right now?” Paige asked. She was hoping to God that Tamarra wasn’t asking her to sing at her funeral. Although her death was inevitable, Paige didn’t want to think about it in this moment.
Tamarra nodded.
“Which song was it?”
“‘Take Me to the King,’” Pastor Margie answered on Tamarra’s behalf. She looked at Tamarra and said, “I saw you out there in the congregation that day. By the time I finished preaching, you were gone.” She looked at Paige. “It was ‘Take Me to the King,’” she repeated.
Paige closed her eyes and stepped back toward Tamarra’s bed as she said, “Paige sat on the wall. Paige had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Paige back together again. So take me to the king.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as Paige began to sing the popular Tamela Mann song.
When Paige finished, she used her hand to wipe away the tears that were streaming down Tamarra’s face. When Paige had the HIV scare, she’d studied up on the disease. Scientists had not found that it could be transmitted through tears. But right now, the way Paige was feeling, she didn’t care if Tamarra had Ebola. She was going to wipe away the tears of the only woman she’d ever called a best friend in her entire adulthood.
Tamarra had prayed for Paige. She’d been a mentor to Paige and someone to look up to when Paige had been newly saved and was trying to stay saved. That was why it had hurt Paige so much when she found out about Tamarra’s betrayal. But Paige had gotten over it. She’d moved on, and unfortunately, there had been a plethora of other things waiting to hurt Paige ten times more, but she’d survived. She was still standing.
She looked at Tamarra, and nothing negative they had gone through mattered anymore. Yes, Paige was still standing, and she was going to stand by her friend until Tamarra took her last breath.
Chapter 31
By the time Paige made it back to Tamarra’s house, Pastor Margie was gone. The nurse let Paige in because both Mr. and Mrs. Evans were in bed. Paige sat her overnight bag down at the foot of the steps, then headed to the kitchen with the tub of ice cream in hand. She scooped ice cream into a single bowl and retrieved two spoons. She put the tub in the freezer and then headed up the steps, grabbing her overnight bag along the way.
The house was quiet, so Paige tried to be as quiet as she could. She wasn’t sure if Tamarra was asleep or not. She opened the door to Tamarra’s room a crack. The nurse was standing over Tamarra, checking her vitals. The room was dim; the only light was from the flat-screen television hanging on the wall in front of Tamarra’s bed.
Tamarra looked past the nurse and saw Paige as she entered the room. Tamarra smiled.
“I’m back.” Paige sat her overnight bag at the door.
The nurse finished up with Tamarra and asked her, “Do you want me to get extra bedding for Paige or something?”
“Oh, no,” Paige answered for Tamarra.
Tamarra confirmed Paige’s sentiments. “Do you know how many slumber parties we’ve had right here in this bed?” Tamarra patted the space next to her.
“Well, all right now,” the nurse said and smiled. “We can never get too old for a slumber party with our bestie.”
“Amen to that,” Paige attested.
“Well, if you girls need anything, just let me know. I’m right down the hall,” the nurse said. She looked at Tamarra. “I suppose we won’t need the monitor on tonight.” She pointed at the little white intercom box that was beside the lamp on the nightstand.
“Oh, you can turn that off,” Tamarra said. “Girl talk is sacred. You know that, Betty,” Tamarra said to her nurse.
Betty gathered a few things and then headed out of the room after telling Paige and Tamarra good night.
Paige stood by the doorway for a moment.
“Well, what’s that you got there?” Tamarra asked her.
Paige looked down at the bowl. “Pecan praline, of course,” she said, then walked over to the chair that was next to Tamarra’s bed. Before sitting, Paige said to her friend, “Open wide.”
Tamarra played along, opening her mouth as wide as she could. Paige scooped up a little bit of the ice cream with the spoon, minus any pecans. She wasn’t sure if Tamarra could chew and swallow them. She fed the portion to Tamarra, who inhaled it.
“Girl, when was the last time you had some ice cream?” Paige asked.
“Child, these folks around here won’t give me anything. They act like I’m dying or something.” Tamarra broke out in a laugh.
Paige didn’t find it funny, so she just sat there.
“Come on now, Paige. You gotta laugh to keep from crying,” Tamarra said. “Besides, you know that was funny.”
To appease Tamarra, Paige let out a chuckle. Then another. Before she knew it, she and Tamarra were roaring with laughter.
When the laughter finally died down, Tamarra said, “Thank God Betty doesn’t have the intercom on. She’d probably call the crazy house to come haul me away.”
“And me right along with you,” Paige said.
Tamarra exhaled. “Now, didn’t that laughter feel good?”
Paige nodded and then looked down.
“Sit that bowl down and get on over here,” Tamarra said, inviting Paige to climb on the bed.
“Let me go get out of these clothes first,” Paige said, looking down at the khaki pants and the Old Navy ribbed Henley she was wearing. “I know how you are about folks wearing street clothes while sitting on your bed.” Tamarra used to have a fit when Paige came into Tamarra’s room and sat down on the bed in her street clothes.
“Don’t be bringing all those outside particles and germs from the public places you been sitting at into my nice clean bed,” Tamarra would say.
Tamarra stared at her friend, her eyes pleading for Paige to just come next to her. Even if she had on a winter coat and boots, Tamarra’s expression made it clear to Paige that getting on the bed in clothing was now the least of Tamarra’s concerns.
Paige sat the bowl of ice cream down and took off her shoes. She then walked around to the empty side of the bed and climbed on it. Paige didn’t get under the covers, though. “So what are we watching?” she asked as she looked at the television.
“The only show in the world you don’t have to DVR, because you’ll find it on any given channel at any hour of the day.”
“Law & Order,” Paige said.
“You know it,” Tamarra said. “Just like old times, indeed.”
For the next twenty minutes or so, Tamarra and Paige lay in the bed, watching television. They were exhausted, and it didn’t take long for both of them to drift off.
Paige was supposed to be spending the next seven days in paradise. Instead, she would be spending the next seven days cooped up with her friend. A slight smile parted her lips as she slept, and it looked as though there wasn’t anywhere else she would rather be.
Early the next morning, Paige awoke to the sound of Betty entering the room to look in on Tamarra.
“Did you two sleep tight?” she whispered, so as not to wake Tamarra, who was still sleeping. Before Paige could even answer, she continued. “You didn’t even get into your nightclothes, I see.”
Paige looked down at herself and saw that she was still very much fully clothed. “I guess not.” She sat up and stretched. “Yesterday was such a busy day. All that ripping and running and packing I did.” Just then Paige thought about Ryan. She got out o
f the bed and walked over to her purse, which was sitting next to her overnight bag.
“Is everything okay?” Betty asked.
“Yes. There’s just a phone call I need to make.” Paige dug her phone out of her purse. The first thing she did was check it to see if she’d missed any calls from Ryan. The phone was dead. “Darn it,” Paige said. “My phone died.” She dug through her overnight bag until she retrieved her charger.
While Betty proceeded to check on Tamarra, Paige took her phone, charger, and overnight bag into the bathroom. She plugged the phone into the charger, and the charger into the outlet, and then did her business on the commode. After washing her hands and drying them, Paige turned on her phone, which had just enough juice to come on. While it powered up, she walked over to the linen closet and got a towel and washcloth. She pulled all her toiletries out of her bag and brushed her teeth, doing a thorough job since she hadn’t brushed them before going to sleep last night. Her breath was probably so bad, she feared Ryan would smell it through the phone. Once her breath was nice and minty, she grabbed her phone and dialed Ryan’s number.
“This number cannot currently receive calls,” was the recorded message Paige heard after the first ring. She hung up, remembering that Ryan had suspended his phone service temporarily. The international phone plan offered by his cell phone carrier wasn’t worth the price. He wanted to take his phone on the trip in order to take pictures, but he didn’t want to risk getting charged for roaming, receiving texts, or anything else, even though he was told by his service provider he could just turn his data off. Still, with the prices they were charging, he didn’t want to take the chance of slipping up, so he’d suspended his service.
He planned on getting an international phone once they arrived at their destination so that the boys and his neighbor would be able to reach him. They were all going to share the phone while on vacation, so no one else had gotten any type of international plan on their phone, either. Since they were all going to be together, they figured it made sense. At the time it had. But now that Paige didn’t have the number, it seemed like a stupid idea.