by Helen Lacey
She stepped backward and pressed her legs against the love seat. “But...”
He stopped when he got two feet from her. “But I’m not going to.”
“Because of Liz?”
Marissa always demanded the truth of him. Her candor was something he’d always admired. He nodded. “Because it wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t feel right,” he said and placed a hand to his chest. “In here.”
It might feel right everywhere else—across his skin and through his blood—but Grady knew that wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
“So, what do we do?” she asked.
“Ignore it. Move past it. Stay away from one another.” He shrugged. “Take your pick.”
She didn’t respond. Didn’t as much as blink. But as he watched her, Grady realized something. She was getting mad. As hellfire. With him. Her brown eyes were suddenly darker than usual and there were splashes of color on her cheeks.
“If you have something to say, Marissa, then say it.”
She glared at him and her hands came to her hips. The movement only accentuated her lovely curves, and Grady’s gaze moved over her slowly. By the time he met her eyes again she was seething.
She sucked in a breath. “I think... I think you are a manipulative and conceited jerk.”
“Because I said I wanted to kiss you? Because I’m honest about being attracted to you?”
Her breath shuddered. “Because you are going to use this attraction as a reason to keep me at arm’s length and away from the girls.”
Irritation rose up his spine. “And why would I do that?”
“Oh, come on, Grady. You’ve never liked me spending time with them.”
“That’s not true.”
She made a scoffing sound. “Really? Each time I’ve come back to town in the past two and a half years you’ve made me feel like I didn’t belong with them, like I have no right to be a part of their lives.” She flashed him a deathly stare. “Maybe I’m not a relative and there’s no blood connection, but I do care about them. I love them. And I promised Liz I’d...”
Her words abruptly trailed off, as if she’d said something she shouldn’t have.
Grady stilled. “You promised Liz what?”
She shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Don’t backpedal,” he said, leashing in the resentment coursing across his skin. “What did you promise my wife?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Grady stepped closer. “Oh, it matters. What was it?”
She wrapped her arms around her waist and sighed heavily. “I promised her I’d be there for them...to talk to them...to make sure they had—”
“A mommy figure?” he asked, cutting her off.
Grady wasn’t quite sure why he was angry. But he was. Marissa’s admission felt like criticism. As if he wasn’t doing enough for his children. As though he’d failed as a parent. As a father.
“No... Yes... I suppose it was about having someone who could do things with them that a father couldn’t...” She sighed heavily as her words trailed off. “You said it yourself,” she reminded him. “One day the girls will be older and they will need a woman to talk to about certain things.”
She was right. He had said that. But he was still irritated, and the tension between them seemed more amplified than ever.
“I’m sure I’ll manage.”
“And that puts me in my place, right?” she asked stiffly, shoulders tight. “Fine. Thanks for the lesson today.”
Grady felt like kissing her there and then just to stop her from talking. Or leaving.
“Sure. Thanks for taking care of Tina.”
He watched her walk out of the room and knew nothing had been resolved. He still wanted to kiss her. Which meant he was still neck-deep in trouble. And didn’t see a way out.
* * *
“You have to come with us. I insist.”
Marissa groaned inwardly. For ten minutes Colleen had been trying to persuade her to join the Parker clan at the town’s renaming celebration fair on Friday night. Of course she was tempted to go. There were people in town who she’d once known and being back meant reconnecting with old friends. Plus, it meant time spent with the girls. But it also meant time spent with Grady. And since he was on the top of her “people I must avoid” list, Marissa knew she had to keep her wits and decline the invitation.
Marissa could see Aunt Violet nodding. She’d gone to visit her aunt, and Colleen had arrived minutes later. “I think I’ll skip it,” she said and smiled at her aunt.
“Nonsense,” Colleen admonished gently. “The whole town will be there. It’s an important day, and since you’re back for good you’ll be able to see lots of your old friends...” Her words faded off for a second. “And my granddaughters will be expecting you.”
Both the other women were looking at her expectantly. She didn’t want to go and make small talk with Grady after the tense way they’d left things. But Colleen’s relentlessness eventually wore her down. “Okay. I’ll go.”
She hadn’t seen Grady all week. Which had given her plenty of time to dwell on what had transpired at the ranch. But she missed the girls and looked forward to spending some time with them.
“I’ll pick you up,” Colleen said. “At three o’clock. That will give us enough time to see the mayor officiate and to find a picnic spot, then eat and settle in for the fireworks. I’m looking after the girls Friday, since Grady is competing in one of the riding competitions.”
The renaming celebration was a major event for the town. Twenty years in the making since it was first proposed that the two towns become one, and despite numerous setbacks, the day was drawing close when Cedar Creek and Riverbend would officially be called Cedar River. Marissa knew there was still some resistance among the locals on both sides, but she truly believed that it was what was best for Cedar Creek in the long run. The town needed solidarity, one council, one law office, one name. And with the hospital getting an extension, a new police station being built and another housing development planned, the change would finally help unify the people on both sides of the river.
Friday afternoon she showered, slipped into a long pale blue printed dress and matched it with a pair of tan-colored mid-heeled cowboy boots she’d bought the same time she’d splurged on the hot-pink ones. She wore her hair down and applied some makeup, and when she was done, she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Stared at the circles under her eyes her makeup failed to camouflage.
She looked tired. Hell, she looked exhausted. That’s what comes from nearly a week of sleepless nights thinking about Grady Parker.
She loathed thinking it. Hated admitting to herself that he’d been in her dreams more often than not for the past six days. And she didn’t know how to get him out.
Marissa shook off the thought and returned to the bedroom, where she packed a small tote, then walked out to the porch to wait for Colleen.
Only, Colleen didn’t show.
Marissa watched as Grady’s truck pulled up in the driveway and he emerged, looking gorgeous in jeans, a white twill shirt, bolo tie, pale gray Stetson and a belt with a shiny silver buckle. He came through the gate, walked up the path and stopped when he reached the bottom of the steps and saw her on the porch.
“What are you doing here?” she asked warily.
He tilted his hat back and met her gaze. “My mom said you needed a lift.” He jacked a thumb in the direction of her Volvo. “She said you had car trouble.”
Marissa shook her head. “My car is just fine. Your mother offered to pick me up. She said you were competing today.”
“No,” he replied cautiously. “I haven’t competed for years.”
“Then why would Colleen say...” Her words trailed off when his brows came up. Of course. Colleen Parker was
matchmaking. “Oh, no. I wish she wouldn’t.”
“So do I.” He shrugged. “But you know my mom. When she gets something in her head...” His words faded for a second. “Well, we should get going.”
Marissa shook her head. “It’s okay. I’ll drive myself, since—”
“I’m here,” he said irritably. “So let’s go.”
I’m here...
He said the words as if his presence was some great prize. Ha! Marissa wanted to toss a shoe at him. “I’d rather not—”
“Not everything has to be an argument, Marissa,” he said.
“We agreed that we’d stay away from one another,” she reminded him.
“No,” he said and propped a foot on the bottom step. “We didn’t. It was just one option. And since we are very much a part of each other’s life because of my daughters, a stupid option. Unless you plan on staying away from them, too?”
“No, of course I don’t.” Her skin heated. “But what else can we do? Do you really think we can ignore each other and the...and the...”
“The attraction we have for one another?” He shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out as time goes along.”
“You think it’s that easy?”
“What do you want me to say, Marissa? That I’m going to magically stop thinking that you’re beautiful? Or forget about the fact that I want to kiss you?” He blew out a breath. “I’ll do my best, okay?”
He sounded as frustrated and as conflicted as she was. But she wasn’t going to be sympathetic. Or pleased that he’d just said she was beautiful. She wasn’t going to feel anything. She bit back the rebuttal burning on her tongue, grabbed the small picnic basket she’d left by the door and locked up. It did seem silly, taking two vehicles when they lived so close to one another. Still, neither of them said another word until she was settled in his truck and she realized he’d come alone. “So, where are the girls?”
“My mom picked them up this morning. There was no school today because of the celebrations in town, and I was branding calves this morning.”
She nodded and turned her head. “So, you’ll talk to your mother?”
Grady started the truck and reversed. “About what?” he asked once they were driving through the gate.
Marissa’s jaw tightened. “About her thinking that...that we’re...you know...”
“Right for one another?” he supplied. “You try making my mom see sense. She’s not listening to me.”
It sounded so absurd, Marissa couldn’t help laughing softly. “Hasn’t she worked out that we’d probably strangle one another if we were...you know...”
He glanced sideways. “I’d never hurt you,” he said, more soberly than she expected. “I told you that already.”
Guilt snapped at her heels. “I know that. And I didn’t mean it in the literal sense. I only meant that...that...most days we don’t like each other all that much.”
“I thought we’d been through all this. I’ve never disliked you, Marissa.”
Marissa sighed. “Yeah...you like me and you wanted to ask me to prom. I got that.”
“You don’t believe me?”
She shrugged. “What does it matter now? You took Liz to prom and started dating her, and the rest is history.”
“You turned me down. And then you went to prom with Liz’s brother, as I recall.”
I didn’t turn you down...
Liz never told me.
“Kieran O’Sullivan always treated me like a kid sister, and prom was no exception.”
“Did you know he was a doctor in Sioux Falls?” Grady remarked.
“Yes,” she replied. “We still keep in touch occasionally.”
He grunted. “What about the rest of them? Do you still talk?”
Marissa shook her head. “Not much. I saw Liam in town the other day and said hello. Old Man O’Sullivan never really approved of my friendship with Liz. The fact my mom was a mere hairdresser and we lived in a two-bedroom apartment over the salon made me a little lowbrow for the mighty O’Sullivans.”
“Liz was never like that, though. In fact, she was the opposite. She had no interest in the money or their position in this town. She and Kieran were the only two worth anything out of the bunch. Liam is as arrogant as the old man and from what I hear Sean is not much better...but at least he’s living in LA and not in town.”
Marissa nodded. “I used to envy Liz her big family, until I realized how disconnected from them she really felt. From the outside they seemed so normal, but her parents always pushed her to do more, to do better, as though being who she was just wasn’t enough. She told me the first time she was genuinely happy was when she married you.”
“Did you know the old man almost didn’t show up for the wedding?” he said quietly. “Liz had to beg him to give her away at the ceremony. The morning of the wedding Kieran told me he wasn’t going to show, so I went to see him at the hotel. Her mom was at the hotel, too, pleading with him, trying to make him see sense.”
Marissa’s surprise was palpable. “What did you say to him?”
“I told him that I couldn’t care less if he showed up or not, but that Liz would be devastated. And that he’d lose her forever.”
“He did give her away,” Marissa said, remembering her friend’s happiness that day. “And she had the wedding she always wanted. She looked so beautiful. You scrubbed up pretty good yourself in that tuxedo.”
He laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that worried. I was sure I was going to screw up the vows.” He grinned ruefully. “And I did.”
Marissa remembered how he’d nervously faltered over some of the words. “You got through it in the end.”
He laughed softly. “Hopefully I’ll do a better job next time.”
“Next time?” Marissa snapped her gaze sideways. “So you do want to get married again?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe. One day.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want...” Her words trailed. She wasn’t sure why her insides were jumping at the idea and quickly pushed the feeling aside. “Your mom will be happy to hear that.”
“I said one day,” he shot back. “Sometime in the future.”
“Oh...okay.”
She was sure his mouth creased in a smirk. “What about you?” he asked. “You planning on getting married again?”
Thankfully her disastrous relationship with Simon hadn’t turned her off the idea altogether. She did want to marry again. She wanted a family. Children. A husband. Someone to love. And someone who would love her back with his whole heart.
“Yes. Only...”
“Only?”
She shrugged. “I’ll make sure I choose a better sort of man next time.”
He was silent for a moment and then spoke. “So, what kind of credentials does he need? Urban or cowboy?”
Heat touched her cheeks. He was teasing...baiting her...seeing how far he could go for some reason of his own. Marissa faked a smile. “Cowboy,” she replied. “I was married to a suit and it didn’t work out, remember?”
His gaze didn’t falter. “Dark or fair-haired?”
She pursed her lips, thinking about her ex-husband’s pale blond hair. “Dark.”
“Blue or brown eyes?”
“Blue.”
“National Geographic or sports channel?”
“Both,” she replied. “In moderation.”
He grinned fractionally. “Left or right side of the bed?”
Marissa sighed. “No preference. Seeing as I sleep in the middle these days.”
He laughed softly. “Me, too. I’m not sure how that happens.”
“Maybe because it makes the bed seem less lonely.”
He looked at her and she felt the intensity of his stare down deep,
through to her bones, her very soul. She wondered how he could do that, or how she allowed it. But the awareness between them had a life of its own. They both knew it. Both felt it. And as much as she was internally battling, Marissa knew that there was no real respite to what she was feeling.
“Well,” he said quietly, “I don’t imagine you’ll be short on guys lining up for a shot.”
She tried not to feel insulted. And failed. He had a way of doing that without even trying, she was sure. “What does that mean?”
His mouth twisted. “It means that every cowboy in the district will be coming out of the woodwork to take their chances with you, Marissa.”
“Then you’ll have to tell me which ones are worth the effort.”
His gaze snapped toward her briefly. “Yeah...right. If you want help finding a husband, ask my mother. She’s the one on the matchmaking bandwagon at the moment.”
He drove the pickup across the small bridge and headed down Main Street toward the park and fields where the festival was taking place. There were over a hundred vehicles already parked and people milling about, walking toward the main arena where the rodeo was being held. Horse trucks and trailers lined up close by and there was a large stage to the right and a band was playing a George Strait classic. The park to the left was filled with families, many already spread out on blankets or seated at picnic tables.
He parked the truck and they got out. Marissa grabbed the basket and her tote and remembered that she hadn’t brought a jacket. The early-autumn breeze was cool. She glanced up at the sky and saw it was clear blue and the afternoon sun shone brightly.
“Where are we meeting your mother?”
He pointed across the parkland. “Under her favorite tree,” he replied and grabbed the basket from her. “Let’s go.”
They walked from the parking area and toward the parkland. She mostly kept up with his long strides, and as they crossed the grass she heard Milly’s delighted squeal and they spotted both Milly and Breanna racing toward her, arms outstretched. They reached her in seconds and she hugged the girls close. She knew Grady was watching them, knew he was probably wondering why his daughters were so attached to her. But she knew why—it was Liz. They’d said as much the night she’d gone to the ranch for dinner. They missed their mother and longed to have that maternal connection with someone. Marissa understood. She’d lost her own mother when she was twelve and had mourned her for a long time. Aunt Violet had tried to fill the void, but Marissa had felt the loss of her parent deeply. Perhaps if she’d had a father she wouldn’t have felt so alone. As she looked at the girls skipping beside her, Marissa thought how lucky they were to have such a caring and loving dad. And if Grady got married again, she hoped whoever she was would cherish the three beautiful girls who clearly longed for a mother’s love.