Three Reasons to Wed

by Helen Lacey

  “But what if he did?”

  She shrugged, feigning her disinterest. “It’s all rather a moot point at this stage.”

  He stared at her and then shook his head. “I need a shower,” he said. “Unless you’d like to go first?”

  She waved her hand. “No...you go. The sooner you get into bed, the better.”

  It wasn’t meant to sound intimate or provocative—but it did. His eyes glittered instantly and she knew he was as aware of the sudden heat between them as she was.

  “You know, Marissa,” he said softly, almost raspingly, “if you want to get me into bed, you only have to ask.”

  He turned on his heels and Marissa watched him walk down the narrow hall toward the bathroom. Her face burned with humiliation and she let out a deep, shuddering breath.

  Jerk!

  She sat on the sofa and twisted her hands together, silently cursing him.

  And secretly loving him.

  Grady had a way of finding her most vulnerable places. Her longing for a family, the pain she felt about her parentage...no one else made her think about it as he did. And he was right—she could try to find her father, but she was scared. Scared of who and what she’d find. Scared of knowing why he’d run off, to think he would reject her again. She’d had enough rejection in her life. Simon had discarded her without a second glance when he’d cheated on her.

  All her life she’d felt the sting of being unwanted. She was an unplanned pregnancy to a seventeen-year-old girl barely out of high school. When her mother died, she experienced an acute abandonment that even living with her loving aunt Violet hadn’t soothed. Only Liz had understood. Liz, with her five-star family and dreams of being a rancher’s wife, who it turned out had lied to her about Grady’s interest. But she didn’t blame her friend. Liz had her own demons. Her own fears. The O’Sullivans had unrealistic expectations for their only daughter, and she knew Liz hadn’t wanted the life they’d planned for her. She didn’t want to go to college and become part of the great O’Sullivan moneymaking machine. She didn’t want to be a trophy wife to some rich man who’d been handpicked for her by her parents. She’d wanted marriage to a man she truly loved and kids and happily-ever-after—which is exactly what she’d had...until she died.

  Who am I to judge? I’ve fallen in love with my best friend’s husband.

  Marissa got to her feet and shook herself off. She walked up the hallway just as Grady opened the bathroom door—and then she stopped in her tracks.

  He wore a towel draped around his hips and nothing else. Moisture clung to his skin, and as hard as she tried not to, her eyes moved over him appreciatively. Everything about him, every perfectly sculptured angle, was acutely masculine. The hair on his chest tapered down his belly and disappeared beneath the towel, and her fingers suddenly itched with the need to touch him, to trace her fingertips across his skin and mold her palms over the muscled contours of his chest.

  She met his eyes and saw a kind of primitive, narcotic desire mirrored in his gaze. Longing coursed through her body, wholly and completely, making its way over her skin and through her blood. She’d never experienced anything like it, never knew she could want a man with such intensity. But she wanted Grady. And she knew he wanted her, too.

  He moved and she waited for his touch, waited for him to take her into his arms, waited for him to say he wanted to make love to her. That he had to have her. That he loved her. But the words never came. He turned and opened the bedroom door. “Get some sleep, Marissa,” he said flatly, shattering the mood between them as he stepped into the room and closed the door.

  Then she hightailed it to the bathroom in five seconds flat.

  She pressed her back against the door and sucked in a long breath.

  What was she thinking? That Grady was actually going to fall in love with her? That he would return her feelings? He wanted her—that was all he’d said. She wasn’t naive enough to imagine it could be anything more.

  It’s just a place to start...

  His words echoed in her thoughts. A place to start, yes. But what? A real relationship? Or just an affair? And for how long? Until his desire for her was sated? Or did he want more? Was she crazy to think they could have a future together? He’d accused her of hiding behind Liz’s memory to keep him at bay. And he was right.

  Liz is gone...

  He was right about that, too.

  He’d said he would wait until she was ready. He wouldn’t force. That wasn’t his style. Despite the tense relationship they’d always had, Marissa knew he oozed honor. He was a man who lived by his word. A man who would always endeavor to do the right thing. He would never raise a hand in anger, never threaten or humiliate. He was honest and trustworthy and would always protect and cherish the people he cared about.

  It was a seductive quality. Like catnip for her empty, lonely heart.

  And Marissa suddenly knew exactly what she wanted.

  * * *

  Grady sat up in the bed, the sheet draped over his hips. He’d pulled the curtains together but the room was still light enough to make sleep impossible. He sent a text to his brother to ensure Tina was doing okay and waited for a reply. When that came a few seconds later, he placed his cell on the side table and took a few long, steadying breaths. He was just about to give sleep a try when there was a soft tap on the door.

  “Come in.”

  The door opened and Marissa stood framed in the doorway. She wore a white toweling house robe that hung to her knees, her hair loose around her shoulders. His libido stirred instantly. Good manners told him to get up from the bed, but since he was naked, he was pretty sure she’d run like a scared rabbit if he did.

  “Can I talk to you?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

  Grady tugged at the sheet a little. “Sure.”

  She stepped into the room, arms crossed and eyes wide. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know...I guess I really wanted to say that I think I’ve been a little self-absorbed these past twelve hours. So, I’m sorry.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  She shrugged a little. “You comforted me at the hospital when it should have been the other way around.”

  “You were comforting, Marissa,” he said softly. “More than you know. And Tina’s illness is not your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I knew she was irritable and not herself these past few days. I should have figured out that she was unwell.”

  She crossed her arms. “Still, I shouldn’t have fallen apart when you needed me to be strong. I guess I’m not good in a crisis.”

  “Sure you are. You were a tower of strength at Liz’s funeral.”

  She took a deep breath. “I think I was so numb from grief I worked on a kind of autopilot that day.”

  “I wouldn’t have gotten through it without you. Afterward, when we were alone, you were strong and comforting.”

  She sighed. “Grady...”

  The anguished way she said his name almost tore him up inside. “What is it, Marissa?”

  She bit her bottom lip. “Everything has changed so much.”

  “We haven’t changed,” he said softly. “We’re still the same people we’ve always been. What’s changed is how we feel about each other.”

  “Maybe,” she said. “Only...I wish I could stop feeling so guilty.”

  “Guilty about what?” he asked, although he already knew.

  “About this.” She shuddered. “About you. Guilty because I want to stay here with you right now. Guilty because I want to lie down next to you and feel your arms around me.”

  Grady tensed and expelled a ragged breath. He was frustrated and turned on, and all he wanted to do was drag her onto the bed and kiss her beautiful mout
h. But he didn’t. “Guilt is a wasted emotion, Marissa. And Liz would never resent us being together.”

  “I’m not so sure,” Marissa said quietly. “In senior year, just a few weeks before prom, I told her I hoped you would ask me to go. She told me you were seeing someone else. Then you started dating her. She asked me if I was okay with it... I said I was because I wanted her to be happy. We never spoke about it again, but I think she—”

  “It was high school, Marissa,” he said, cutting her off. “Kid stuff. And a lifetime ago. I can’t tell you why Liz said what she did, and I can’t and wouldn’t want to go back and change anything. Because if I did it would mean that I wouldn’t have my daughters and I wouldn’t have had ten amazing years with my wife. But Liz is gone now. And we’re right here...in this room...in this moment.”

  “In this moment?” she echoed, her voice hoarse. “In this moment I’m terrified of you.”

  Grady almost sprang out of bed. But he stayed where he was. “You have nothing to fear from me, Marissa. I’d never hurt you.”

  She shrugged again. “Perhaps not intentionally.”

  She was right; he would never intentionally hurt her. But he knew why she was resistant. “I know you’ve had a difficult time these past few years. I know you were married to a man who hit you, and that’s probably made you wary of all men...but I would never do that.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why are you scared?”

  She patted her chest. “In here I’m scared. I don’t want to be hurt again.”

  Grady swallowed hard. He wasn’t sure what to say. “I do care about you, Marissa.”

  She didn’t respond and for a second he thought she was going to turn and run. But she didn’t. She stepped closer to the bed, her hands resting on the belt around her waist. He watched and waited, and was so aroused he could barely think straight. The need to touch her amplified with each passing second and he groaned when she slowly tugged at the belt and the robe opened. She slipped it off her shoulders and it fell to the floor. And then she was naked, a perfect, divinely beautiful goddess.

  The air rushed from his lungs. His gaze traveled over her slowly, absorbing everything, every dip, every valley. She was mesmerizing—her hair, her breasts, her hips, her long, smooth legs. Grady fought the urge to take her in his arms. He’d promised her it would be her call, her decision. So he’d wait. He’d pull on every ounce of self-control he possessed and let her take the lead.

  Which she did.

  He stayed perfectly still as she came to the bed and slid over him, resting a knee on each side of his hips. Grady held his breath as she pressed lower, straddling him in the most intimate way possible. She placed her hands on his shoulders and ran her palms down his chest. It was torture, but he still didn’t touch her. He grabbed a handful of sheet in each hand, steadied himself and held her gaze.

  And then she kissed him. Openmouthed, hot and erotic. Her tongue entwined with his and she sighed against his mouth. And he still didn’t touch her. Her fingers moved over his chest slowly, killing him one touch at a time. Then her hands were in his hair, and as she pressed closer her breasts brushed against him. Her nipples were hard, grazing his as she moved, and when he could stand no more, Grady wrapped his arms around her, urging her even closer. And he kissed her, making love to her mouth just as he planned on making love to the rest of her.

  Until he realized he didn’t have a condom.

  “Marissa,” he groaned against her lips. “Birth control... I didn’t...”

  “I’m on the pill,” she whispered, kissing him back as he grabbed her hips.

  He nodded and trailed his mouth down her throat. Her breasts were fuller than he’d imagined, and the pleasure he felt when he took her nipple into his mouth was almost overwhelming. He kept on kissing her, continued to return each kiss she bestowed. She moaned softly and pressed closer, and Grady pushed down the sheet that was still between them. He slid a hand between her legs and touched her and she almost bucked off the bed.

  “Relax,” he whispered and gently caressed her. She came apart in seconds, calling his name as she arched her back and moaned with pleasure. Grady kissed her again, over and over, deep, hot kisses that drove him wild. And then she moved over him, taking him inside her in a way that was so excruciatingly erotic he could barely draw breath into his lungs.

  He held her hips as they moved together, felt the pressure slowly build as she thrust against him over and over until she climaxed again. And then he was gone, plummeting over the edge in a white-hot frenzy of release that was so intense for a second he thought he might pass out.

  She collapsed against him, their ragged breathing the only sound in the dimly lit room.

  “Oh...wow,” she whispered into his chest.

  “Yep,” he said and took a deep breath. “That about covers it.”

  She giggled softly and met his gaze. “So much for sleeping.”

  “Sleeping is overrated,” he said and quickly shifted their positions, holding her against him as he rolled and maneuvered until he was above her. “That’s better.”

  “Control freak.”

  Grady smiled. “I thought I demonstrated quite a bit of self-control just now,” he teased, loving how her skin flushed. “Although there was a whole lot of eagerness in what we just did and very little finesse. I’ll do better next time.”

  “Next time?” Her brows rose and she ran her hands down his back. “And when is that, precisely?”

  Laughter rumbled in his chest. “Oh, I’d say in about fifteen or twenty minutes.”

  “That’s commitment.”

  “That’s a promise.”

  And then he kissed her again and they spent the next three hours completely immersed in one another. He gave and he took and she did the same. Nothing intruded. No one could.

  * * *

  Marissa knew that the lack of sleep and three hours of making love with Grady would mean she’d probably need to hibernate for two days to recover from the fatigue. They managed to rest for an hour before they showered again and dressed in the clothes his brother had supplied. The long green dress with tiny white flowers on it was pure Liz, and as she slipped the garment over her hips, Marissa felt a familiar twinge of guilt press between her shoulder blades. Grady must have sensed her swift shift in mood, because he stopped what he was doing and spoke.

  “Marissa...it’s okay. It’s just a dress.”

  She looked at him, with his shirt open, his feet bare, his stubble making him look sexier than any man had a right to look—it was impossible to regret what had happened between them. Because she loved him. There was no denying it. No avoiding it. He didn’t love her back, of course. But he’d wanted her, needed her in the few hours they’d spent together.

  They returned to the hospital at around seven o’clock that evening and Grady seemed remarkably chipper for a man who hadn’t slept for nearly forty-eight hours.

  Brant was in Tina’s room and the toddler was awake and laughing at something her uncle had said and squealed loudly when her father came toward her. Marissa’s heart rolled over as Tina bolted up in bed and stretched out her arms. She couldn’t quell the tide of emotion that filled her eyes with tears. Seeing him with Tina made her long for a child of her own. A child with Grady.

  The idea was suddenly overwhelming. She blinked a couple of times and excused herself, dashing from the room to find solace in the corridor.

  “Marissa?” A deep voice said her name a minute or so later. “Are you okay?”

  It was Brant. So serious, his handsome face was marred with a frown. She managed a tight smile and sniffed. “I’m fine...just overtired.”

  Brant nodded. “Fair enough. Grady asked me to drive you home. So, when you’re ready to go, let me know.”

  He wants me to go home? He doesn’t want me here...
<
br />   It hurt through to her bones. Marissa nodded vaguely and then pulled herself together. She didn’t want Grady’s brother seeing her tears. The last thing she wanted was someone working out that she’d fallen hopelessly in love with Grady Parker.

  She walked back into the room, back straight, and looked him directly in the eyes.

  “Everything all right?” he asked.

  “Fine,” she replied and grabbed her tote from the chair.

  Tina waved her arms and started chatting, and Marissa’s chest tightened. She dropped the tote again and held out her arms, and the baby accepted her immediately. She experienced an intense surge of love for the little girl and hugged her close. Tina’s small arms clung to her tightly, as though the toddler never wanted to let her go. And then she said something that pierced Marissa directly through the heart.

  “Momma.”

  There was no other sound in the room. Just that one word, echoing around the walls.

  Marissa instantly met Grady’s gaze. He looked stunned, as though he couldn’t quite believe what he’d just heard. And Marissa felt that way, too. She cuddled Tina for a little while longer and then reluctantly handed the baby back to him and grabbed her bag.

  “I’m ready to go,” she said to Brant, who was adjusting his collar and looked about as uncomfortable as anyone could. He nodded and then she looked at Grady. “Goodbye.”

  He didn’t respond. He only looked at her. Into her. Through her. Tina chatted, oblivious to the sudden tension in the room. And it wasn’t until Brant cleared his throat that Marissa moved her legs. She hugged her tote close to her hip, managed a weak smile and walked out.

  The trip back to Cedar River was quiet, and she was glad Brant Parker wasn’t the talkative type. Forty minutes later Brant pulled up outside her house and she politely thanked him for the ride. Once she was inside, Marissa took a shower, changed into her comfiest pale pink sweats and curled up on the sofa with a toasted cheese sandwich and a mug of soup. It was late, but she was hungry, and since her sleep patterns were off the charts anyway, she didn’t think it mattered. It wasn’t as if she had anything to wake up early for.