by Sarah Olson
“It was my mother’s. My father gave it to me and told me she would have wanted me to give it to the woman my heart belongs to.”
“Thank you,” I said, hugging his neck. “I love it. I’m really sorry I don’t have yours yet but promise you will have it soon.”
“Layla, I already have you and that is all I need. The ring is just a bonus.”
I laughed and pressed my lips to his.
“Well congratulations you two!” Davorin exclaimed. “It’s about damn time, too.” He held up his glass of wine. “To Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton.”
“Thanks, Davorin,” James said with a laugh. “Now I think it is time for us to find you a woman.”
Davorin laughed. “You know I’ll never settle down.”
“You never know,” I said.
Davorin smiled and suddenly became distracted. “Would you look at that? I think I should have visited the other villages more often if that beautiful creature is from one of them. I’ll see you two later.” He walked away before we could say another word.
I rolled my eyes as I watched him approach a young woman with long brown hair. She was attractive and she blushed when Davorin introduced himself.
“Well, that’s Davorin for you,” James said, shaking his head.
“Layla!” Betsy exclaimed, holding a very sleepy looking Aria. “I’m going to take her to Lamia Hopkins’s house and she will spend the night there.”
Aria reached out and I took her into my arms. “Did you have fun, Aria?”
She nodded, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Aunt Betsy is going to take you so you can go to sleep,” I told her.
She laid her head on my shoulder.
“Why don’t you give James a goodnight kiss?” I asked her.
She perked up immediately and looked at James. He seemed to be taken off guard but when she reached her arms out to him, he held her.
“Night, night,” she said shyly giving him a wet kiss on the cheek.
“Good night,” he said, gently kissing the top of her head.
We were a family now.
We left before the festivities ended and walked together, hand in hand, to our home.
As I opened the door James scooped me up into his arms. “I’m supposed to carry my bride in.”
“I like the sound of that,” I said, pressing my lips to his.
As I kissed him, he closed the door and carried me to the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and then stood up, shedding his doublet and shirt. I felt the heat of a blush on my cheeks as I glimpsed his bare chest. He was so handsome and wonderful—and he was mine.
“I love you,” he said as he got down and kissed my neck.
“I love you too,” I whispered.
Chapter 54
WHEN I WOKE the next morning, the first rays of sunshine were just seeping through the curtains. Today was my first day as a married woman—James’s wife. To think a few years before I could have been Richard’s instead.
I moved closer to him, curling up into the warmth of his chest. His breathing changed as he woke and his strong arms wrapped around me, holding me close. We lay there in silence and I had begun to drift back to sleep when there was a loud knock at the door.
“Unbelievable,” James groaned, letting me go.
I sat up, covering myself in the sheets. “Who do you think it is?” I asked groggily as he pulled on his pants.
“I don’t know,” he said. “But they clearly don’t have the decency to give us privacy.” He leaned down and kissed me. “I’ll be right back, my love.” James walked out of the room and I heard him open the door as I collapsed back down onto the soft bed.
“What?” he demanded.
“Forgive me sir,” a man’s voice said, “but I have an urgent message for you.”
James must have stepped outside because I heard the door close and muffled voices. After a few minutes, the door opened and James returned.
“Who was it?” I asked as he sat down heavily on the bed.
“A messenger,” he replied, resting his head on his hands.
I moved to the end of the bed and wrapped my arms around him. “What’s wrong? What did he say?”
James sighed and then looked at me. “The beacons have been lit.”
“What?” I whispered. “Now? That means—”
“It means I have to go. We have to be moving out within the next two hours.”
“No,” I whispered, sitting back as dread washed over me. “Not now.” Tears welled up in my eyes.
“Don’t cry,” James whispered, taking me in his arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“No,” I cried. “I am. If I hadn’t taken so long to marry you, we would have had a few more days together.”
He did not say anything but his eyes were glassier than usual.
We sat there for a few minutes in silence
“I really need to get ready,” he finally said.
I nodded miserably.
He got up and began to dress. I went over to my wardrobe, pulled out some underclothes and started getting into them. I began to put on my corset but as I reached back to tighten the laces, I felt James’s hands.
“I got it,” he said. When he finished, he brushed the hair from my shoulder and kissed the bare skin. His touch sent a tingling down my spine.
I turned around and looked at him. “Promise me you’ll come back,” I whispered, taking his face in my hands.
He did not answer but brought his lips to mine.
I pulled back and saw a pained look in his eyes.
Why today? Why did he have to leave now?
“Be careful, Layla,” he said, running a hand down my back. “When his men arrive, be careful.”
I went with him to the camp where the soldiers that were assigned to go were forming ranks and mounting horses. It was chaos, but within the next hour, they were ready to leave. I said my goodbyes to Tristan and made him promise he would be careful.
Betsy had heard the news and came over with Aria.
James hugged Aria and kissed her forehead. He gave her back to Betsy and then turned to me. “No matter what happens,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes, “remember that I love you.”
I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. I gave him a kiss he would never forget because there was no way of knowing if he would ever come back to me.
“I love you,” I whispered. “Don’t you ever forget that.”
“I won’t.” He wiped a tear from my cheek. “Be careful, my love.” He walked over to his horse and mounted it when a voice called out to me.
I spun around and found Mr. Itamar seated on his vardo wagon as his old horse tried to pull it quickly towards me.
“Princess Layla,” he exclaimed as he jumped off the wagon before the horse came to a complete stop.
“Your ring! I finished it and heard the soldiers were leaving. I thought you would want to give it to your husband before he left.” He pulled the ring out from a pocket from his colorful vest. It was a bright solid gold that shined in the sunlight.
“Thank you!” I exclaimed as I took it from him. “Thank you so much! James!” I ran after him as his he trotted away on his horse. “James!”
He pulled the horse to a stop and turned around.
“Wait!” I called.
He slid off the horse quickly and came over to me, concern in his eyes.
“Your ring,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. I held it out for him to see. “You can’t leave without it because everyone has to see that you are mine.” I took his hand and slid it onto his finger.
“Thank you,” James said, embracing me. “I have to go now.” He pushed a loose hair behind my ear and stared deep into my eyes where I saw the pain of leaving me.
I wondered what he could see in mine. “I know,” I whispered.
He mounted his horse and turned to look back at me once more.
I ran up to the side of his horse just as he leaned down to give me one last kiss.<
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“Come back to me,” I begged quietly.
“I love you,” he said.
Tears slid down my face. “Be careful.”
“I will, goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” I whispered.
He gave me one last reassuring smile and rode off. Betsy came up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder as I watched James disappear to the front of the battalion. Tears clouded my vision and I took Aria from Betsy for comfort. Together we stood there until the battalion was well out of sight.
I hated to be separated from Aria, as well, so handing her to Betsy as they loaded their things into a Malanese carriage, made the day even more unbearable. It was time for Aria to leave to the safety of Kings City. If anything happened to James or me, she would have Betsy and King Darius. Aria’s cries reached me as the carriage rolled away. I stood on the road alone and watched them disappear into the forest. There was no way of knowing how long it would be until I would see them again.
So I would not be alone, Charlotte immediately packed her things to move into Betsy’s room. When I finished preparing it for her, I went back into my own and stopped at the door. I stared at the unmade bed wondering if it was still warm where James had slept. He had only been gone for a few hours and my heart already ached for him.
I walked over to the bed and started to make it when a folded paper on my pillow caught my eye. I reached for it and saw that my name was neatly written on it.
Where did this come from?
Carefully, I picked it up recognizing James’s handwriting. I took a deep breath both eager and terrified to read it. I slowly unfolded it.
My dearest Layla,
Today you have agreed to marry me and words cannot express my happiness and longing to be your husband. I am writing you this letter because I do not know how to tell you the things I must.
Any day now I will be leaving to fight the war that could mean the very freedom of the land we both hold so dear. I only hope I will be able to spend at least one day with you as husband and wife before I must go. I know that when I leave I may tell you I will come back but in reality, I am uncertain.
I knew I had to write these words because you would have stopped me if I tried to say them. If I do not come back to you, please remember that I love you. I wish there was more I could say but those three words are the only ones I can form when I think of you. They are the only words that can even begin to describe the way I feel about you.
Promise me that if you lose me, you will be strong and not cling to the past. Aria needs a mother that is brave and can show her that even in the worst of times we can pull through.
You have been through so much, my love, and I hate the thought of putting you through more pain. Do not be angry with me when you read this. You do not know how difficult it is for me to put this on paper, but I refuse to leave you without these words. Just remember that no matter what happens, I will always be with you. I have given you my heart as you have given me yours. When you look to the stars at night, know that I am, as well, thinking only of you. You are the love of my life and nothing can change that.
Forever yours,
James
As I finished the letter, my heart pounded loudly in my ears and I could not breathe. My hands shook, wrinkling the paper. I gasped, dropping the letter, and fell to my knees as the full meaning of the letter hit me. The world around me blurred as the tears broke free, and I began to sob. When I had asked James to promise that he would return, he did not. James did not think he would make it. He believed he was going to die and he could not tell it to my face. My chest heaved as I lost control of myself. I tried to reach for the letter I had dropped so I could destroy it because maybe then his words would not be true. James was going to be fine. He survived so much before I met him. He was not going to die—he could not.
How could he do this to me? How could he leave me and expect that a letter was good enough to say goodbye . . . goodbye. No. It was not goodbye. He was going to come back to me. James would survive.
Like Mitchell did? It was your fault that he died. Now James is going off to fight a war for your parents and die trying. Luther’s army is too big. You will never succeed. You will never see James again.
The voice of doubt wrapped its fingers around my thoughts and refused to let them go, no matter how much I fought them.
“Layla!” I heard Charlotte cry. “What happened?” she said. She got down and placed her hands on my shoulders.
I pointed weakly to the letter on the floor and she picked it up. I watched as sadness flickered across her face as she read it and I cried harder.
“Layla, I’m so sorry,” she said, taking me into her arms and hugging me.
I cried into her shoulder for what seemed like an eternity as she stroked my hair. In one day, I had to say goodbye to both my husband and daughter. I did not know how much more of this I could take.
When my tears ran dry, she helped me from the floor and sat me on the bed.
“He’s right,” she said, sitting down next to me.
“What?” I asked, my voice hoarse.
“No matter what happens, you need to be brave—for Aria.”
“He will survive,” I whispered. “I won’t need to be brave alone.”
Charlotte placed her arm around me and I knew what she was thinking. Just like James, she could not promise me that he would. As much as I did not want to listen or believe it, I knew all I could do for him was hope and pray that somehow, James would make it back to me alive.
That night, as I lay in bed clutching the letter, I looked out the window to the stars and promised myself that no matter what happened, I would be strong.
Chapter 55
WE HAD ROUGHLY five days to wait for Luther’s army to arrive. Drills were run every hour in the camp while Charlotte and I trained as physician’s assistants. We were to help get the wounded into the infirmary and do whatever the physicians needed. It seemed simple enough, which was the problem for Charlotte. She had spent years in training and never once had she really had a chance to use everything she learned. I told her it was for the best but found I was really just trying to convince myself of it. I had practically healed now and wanted to do more but it was pointless in arguing with Raphael since he was under strict orders from James not to let me fight.
It was good to have Charlotte around though. Both of us needed the company. The days before Luther’s army arrived seemed to creep by slowly. Each night I lay alone, my thoughts traveled to James and Aria. I wondered if he was okay and if Aria would be safe if we lost the war.
Each day Charlotte and I helped women and children pack their belongings and move to the farthest village from the river. A camp had been set up for them there. Sir Nicholas and the other council members wanted them all to be in a good position to escape if they had to. As they all moved backward, King Darius’ men moved forward. It was comforting to see how many they had in their ranks.
About two days after James had left, there was a knock on my door. I opened it and found Davorin.
“Hey, Layla,” he said.
“Davorin,” I said in surprise. “What are you doing here? I thought you left with James.”
“No,” he said with a smile. “I stayed behind because he asked me to. He wants me here to watch over you since he can’t.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I said forcing a smile.
“I promised him I’d keep you safe,” he said.
I nodded
“Oh, and I brought you something,” he gestured behind him and two soldiers walked up the steps carrying a large trunk.
I recognized it to be the one from James’s command tent.
“We had to clear out James’s belongings, and I thought you’d want to hold onto them until he comes back,” Davorin said.
“Thank you,” I said. “You can put it in my room.”
I led the way and watched them place it at the end of the bed. They bowed their heads and left. I stared at the old chest h
oping that in the end it would not be the only thing I had left of him.
“He’ll take care of himself,” Davorin said quietly.
“I know.”
Davorin gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and silently left the room.
When I heard the door close behind him, I walked over to the trunk and carefully unlatched it. It opened with a creak and I found it was full of old papers, letters, and maps. An old leather journal caught my eye and I pulled it out carefully. The initials J.B. were carved in the bottom corner of the worn leather. I leaned against the trunk and opened it.
The smell of old parchment reached my nose and the dust that lifted from the cover danced into the sunlight pouring through the window.
Diary of Juliette Bennett
It belonged to James’s mother! I turned the page.
Today is my eighteenth birthday and as a present, my parents have given me this diary. They told me it would be a good place to write out my thoughts. I have never done this before but it is a wonderful idea. Annie tells me it is a good place to keep my secrets but I think she just wants me to write them down so that when I am not looking, she can read them. But I guess that is what sisters are for.
However, there is one thing I must write down. Today I met the most handsome man. He is a soldier in the Asterian Army and his name is Conrad Hamilton. He is tall and strong, with the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. I would envy any woman that got to marry him—
“Layla!” Charlotte called from the front door.
I shut the diary quickly. “I’m in here!”
“Hey,” she said, walking in, “what are you doing?”
“Davorin brought over some of James’s things,” I said, placing the diary back into the trunk.
Charlotte nodded. “I came to tell you the physicians need some help preparing the tents.”
“Of course,” I said.
Together we headed towards the camps and helped with all we could. At night, before I went to bed, I would open the diary and read more by candlelight. I read about the way Conrad courted Juliette. How her heart fluttered every time she saw the flowers he would leave by the door for her. How her sister grew tired of the ocean and people, and decided to leave.