by K. R. Haynes
“You mean to tell me the fucking AFP messed with our investigation and not only risked securing Myke Dillon’s arrest but also put the lives of several women in danger. Two of those women lost their lives because Myke fucking Dillon killed them.” Mick threw his hands up in the air, enraged that the Australian Federal Police could make such a fatal mistake by not only risking innocent women’s lives but also putting at risk Mary J’s own life too. “Son of a fucking bitch!”
“I understand how you’re feeling right now, Mick, believe me I know.”
Mick got right in Christian’s face then and snarled his anger at him. “You know nothing about me or how I am feeling right now, you uptight bastard, how could you. You weren’t the one who just witnessed the love of your life get bowled over like a goddamn bowling pin while you watch on helpless to stop it. So don’t you dare stand there and tell me you know how I fucking feel, because you damn well don’t know.” Mick gave Christian a hard shove back then, before stalking away from him and heading back over to his truck. He needed to get to the hospital to see Mary J. He couldn’t deal with any more of this shit. Christ, wasn’t it bad enough that he had to witness Mary J being severely injured? Now he had to deal with the fucking interference of the AFP and his captain’s closed-lipped mouth over the fact that the AFP had been hindering their investigations too.
Hell, he hadn’t even given much thought about the dead SUV driver lying in the ditch. To Mick it seemed like a fitting end for the fucker who ran over Mary J like she was nothing but an insect in his way and one that he had planned to maim at her life’s expense. Well, the fucktard’s plan failed, as Mary J was fighting to stay alive while he was lying motionless in a ditch with no life inside him and no chance of it ever coming back either.
Parking his truck outside the emergency entrance of the hospital minutes later, Mick took a moment to collect his thoughts and steel his mind for bad news in regard to Mary J’s condition. After firing off a couple of text messages to Randall and a quick phone call to the Bomb Squad’s team leader, filling them both in on what happened, Mick powered off his phone and headed inside to be by Mary J’s bedside.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Mick felt weary and lost as he stumbled back over to the ugly-ass green chair he had pulled over to Mary J’s bedside hours earlier. The doctor was due in soon to give her a final once-over before he finished his shift. The good news was she was breathing on her own now, and she had no internal bleeding which was beyond a fucking miracle. She did have, however, bruised kidneys from where the SUV slammed into her from behind, plus a broken left ankle which would keep her out of action for a several weeks. Her body was bruised from head to toe, front and back, not only from the impact of the SUV hitting her but also from how she landed heavily on the ground afterwards.
His girl was sleeping like the dead right now and would be for some time. The pain meds the nurse had given her were not only to help relieve her of her pain but also a relaxant to help her rest more comfortably. So here she lay, his sleeping little wildcat, although she really didn’t resemble a wildcat in her current state of rest. To Mick, Mary J looked like a wounded little kitten as she lay there on the hospital bed with the blankets drawn up to her chin. Her skin was pale white and her unruly curls were even wilder now than normal too. Every so often he noticed that her body would visibly shudder. The nurse had advised him it was from the shock as well as from the impact from the hit. It was her muscles’ way of saying “I’m still here,” so the relaxant should help ease her twitching muscles back down.
He really thought he had lost her earlier in the evening when the paramedics had brought her in. Her condition had been listed as critical until they could assess her properly and probably figure out where she was bleeding from. Hell, Mick still was none the wiser on where all that blood had come from. The doctor refused to advise him about it, telling Mick in a no-nonsense voice that it was something he would only discuss with family or with Mary J herself once she had rested enough to hear it. That didn’t sit too well with Mick when he heard that. One thing he hated most of all was secrets, and there was a big fucking secret right now that involved the little wildcat lying before him.
For the past two hours he had resisted the urge to read the medical file that hung at the end of her bed. He knew that by reading her medical chart that he would be violating her privacy, so he had valiantly fought against the urge to get up and walk down to the end of her bed to read the damn thing. On the other hand, if he did happen to sneak a peek at what was written in there, then he would know in advance on how to help her through whatever it was the doctor was refusing to tell him about.
Mick huffed then, remembering the doctor telling him that he would only discuss Mary J’s medical condition with her family members. And according to the tight-lipped doctor and every goddamn staff member here in this godforsaken hospital, Mick wasn’t classified as family as he wasn’t married to her. What the fuck? He was her dominant for fuck’s sake and they were in a committed D/s relationship. Family, he was her goddamn family. He was also her present and her future too but they didn’t seem to want to take that into a count. It made him more determined than ever before to put his mark of ownership on her as well as hers on him.
Mick rose from the chair then and paced around the small, compact room quietly so he didn’t disturb Mary J. His eyes kept on darting over toward the medical file every time he walked past it. It was like a beacon calling out his name. It wanted him to open it and read what it contained. Would Mary J forgive him if he told her he read it? Glancing at his watch Mick knew he couldn’t read her file right now as the doctor was due in any minute. Nonetheless, he made the decision then that once the doctor had left and while Mary J was asleep he would find out what the secret was the doctor was refusing to tell him about.
The doctor strolled into the room five minutes later and began checking Mary J out and wrote things down in her chart. Mick stood back against the far wall of the tiny room with one foot resting on it as he stood silently watching the doctor draw the blanket down below her waist, then press his hands around her lower abdomen. Mick could see the tiny winces fluttering on Mary J’s face as the doctor pressed down harder on her stomach before lifting the blanket back up and patting her arm with his hand in a reassuring gesture. Mary J soon fell back to sleep once the doctor had finished his examination and placed her chart back in the holder at the end of her bed.
Mick couldn’t act yet. He had to wait patiently for the doctor to leave and for the nurse that soon followed him in to leave after she had administered some more pain relief into Mary J’s IV drip. The nurse was quick to make her exit out of the room and scattered away swiftly when she glanced over at him. She obviously noticed the tension rolling off of him in waves, either that or the menacing frown that drew both his brows together. Either way she was out of the room and it gave Mick the opportune time to snatch up Mary J’s medical chart to read it.
After checking to make sure his sleeping beauty was still fast asleep, Mick began flipping through the pages in her chart. There wasn’t anything in there that he could see so far that would explain the weird vibe he got every time the doctor refused to discuss her condition completely with him.
Flipping through to the last page all the breath left his lungs in one shocked gasp. He felt lightheaded and immense sorrow all at the same time. Mary J had been pregnant at the time of the hit-and-run incident. She had been barely three weeks along according to the medical chart. The words “pregnancy aborted due to the patient’s miscarriage” threw him through an unsteady loop.
His heart ached for her and their unborn child.
She had been pregnant with his child. They were going to have a baby, but now that little life that had been growing inside her womb was gone. Lost to the world forever, and lost to the parents that would have loved and adored him or her. His hands shook when he slipped her chart back into the holder hanging from the end of her bed. He knew then why the doctor had been so
determined in making sure Mary J had rested before he told her the news. Knowing her the way Mick knew her, this news was not only going to stun her when she found out she had been pregnant but knowing that she had suffered a miscarriage was going to break her heart.
He had to be in that room with her holding her hand when the doctor broke the news to her. He just had to, because when she found out she had lost something they had created together in a moment of passion it was going to crush her. Mick also knew that Mary J would blame herself for losing their unborn child and he would make damn certain that didn’t happen. He wouldn’t permit her to lay blame on herself for what happened to her or their lost child. If she needed to blame someone then she could blame him for putting her in harm’s way and not protecting her when he had vowed to always shield her from danger and pain.
She would grieve for their lost child and he would be there by her side holding her and wiping her tears away. Mick knew that he would make every effort to support her through this. And when the time came that she was ready to carry his child in her womb once again he would be there too, holding her and loving her. He only knew how to love Mary J one way, and that was fiercely with his whole heart. Every time his heart beat, it was because she existed in his world.
It wasn’t that long ago that she had been there for him in a time when he needed her most of all in his life and now he would honour her by doing the same thing for her in her hour of need. He would be right there by her side supporting her and loving her. Even if she pushed him away in her grief from losing their precious babe, he would still be there for her. He would always be there for her.
If he was to admit the truth to himself right now, Mick wasn’t so sure he was ready to be a parent just yet. Sure, if things had turned out differently he would have been the best damn father he could be to their child. The crazy thing was, before he had that brief moment of lapse where he spilled his seed into her unprotected womb, he had never even thought about having children. It had never even crossed his mind that he may want to be a father some day. Glancing down at Mary J now, Mick looked forward to that day where he could hold their tiny creation in his arms, and hoped to god that their child took on their mama’s stunning good looks and charm and none of her stubbornness. One hardheaded redhead in his life was more than enough for him. He didn’t need any munchkins underfoot with the same stubbornness as his wildcat lover had in her.
* * * *
Mick had slipped out of Mary J’s hospital room wordlessly while Chloe stayed with her and headed down the long, winding corridor with no real direction in mind. She was still doped up on pain meds and spent most of the time dozing. Nevertheless, he just needed a few moments to himself to collect his thoughts. Reading the news that he lost his unborn child was one thing. Having to witness the agonising expression crossing his woman’s face as the doctor told her about it was a whole other thing. Mick hadn’t known what to expect when Mary J was told the news of her pregnancy, then moments later the bombshell was dropped, sympathetically, by the doctor that she had suffered a miscarriage due to the impact of being hit by the SUV.
It literally broke his heart seeing her tears fall rapidly from her eyes. Her hand had fluttered to her lower belly where their child had lay as heart-wrenching sobs tore from her. He had held her tightly against him then and soothed her by rubbing his hand in a circular motion on her back and placed gentle, tender kisses to her head and cheeks as he held onto her. It was his way of offering her his support as there were no words in the world he could say to her to ever make up for the devastating hurt she was feeling at hearing about the loss of their unborn child. There wasn’t anything he could say to her that would correct the wrongs she had suffered from after being a victim of a hit-and-run accident in the Convict Inn’s parking lot that fateful night.
He failed her that night.
He had failed to protect her and their unborn child and it was something he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.
He needed forgiveness. He needed hers.
When Mick stopped to look around at where his feet had taken him, he couldn’t believe he had ended up at the hospital chapel. It was like déjà vu all over again, except instead of finding Mary J in there praying for her friend’s lover, he was instead heading in there to pray for her and their unborn babe they had lost.
Taking a seat in the same back pew he had found Mary J sitting in all those months ago, Mick bowed his head slightly and whispered a silent prayer for the child they had lost and for Mary J. He prayed she could find it within herself to forgive him. He hoped his plea for her to find the strength in her heart and within her to move past the events of the past forty-eight hours and steel herself for the future they were forging together would be answered too.
He sat there silently for several long moments, reliving the last time he had been in this chapel. Leaning back in the pew, Mick lifted his gaze up to the large cross hanging above the altar where the priest would stand during his sermon. A sense of peace settled over him, and in that moment he knew that his prayers had been answered and that he and Mary J would together get through this rough patch in their burgeoning relationship. He closed his eyes to capture that sense of peace and let it overtake him. He allowed it to take away his grief and his sorrow. He gave himself over to the calming reassurance it was offering him. He then rose from the pew and strolled out of the chapel and headed toward Mary J’s room.
The closer he got to her room, the more purposeful his steps became. By the time he stepped inside her room, he was ready within his mind and within in his heart to console her in her grief. After giving Chloe a tight hug, she slipped out of the room knowing he needed time alone with Mary J. Pulling up the chair he had been resting in closer to her bedside, Mick leant his hip against the edge of her bed and studied her for a moment. If anyone saw her now they would say she looked at peace as she slept. Except he knew that wasn’t the case at all. He could see the slight furrow of her brow and the silver tracks on her cheeks from her tears she had wept earlier on in the day and still wept as she slept.
Leaning forward, he pressed a tender kiss to her plump lips and then whispered against them, “I love you, Mary J Sinclair, more than you will ever know. You are my heart and my reason to live, sugar, and I thank god every day that you’re here with me alive. You will always be my girl.”
Kissing her lips tenderly once again, Mick then settled in the seat beside her bed and gathered her small hand into his much larger one and closed his eyes to rest for awhile.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was February 14, Valentine’s Day, and the pub was a mixture of romantic chaos and drunken loons. It also meant Mary J and the rest of the pub staff were flat out, and being one man short meant they all had to do twice as much work as normal. With Christian returning to his normal day job with the Australian Federal Police, Mary J’s boss hadn’t bothered to hire anyone new yet. This meant they were all run off their feet.
She had been back at work for a few weeks now, after the doctor cleared her fit and ready. Mick hadn’t liked it that she was returning back to work and had insisted on her staying home for a few more extra days. She had done it in order to appease him. But she couldn’t remain there forever. She needed to work to keep herself busy. If she kept busy then she wouldn’t have to mourn their loss anymore.
When she had first heard the news about the baby, she had been in total shock to discover that she had been pregnant. Then she had been devastated to learn that she had suffered a miscarriage as a result of being bowled over by that SUV that had blatantly gunned her down in the pub’s parking lot. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she also recently discovered that it was her ex that had driven the SUV. He was the one responsible for running her over that night.
Even now she couldn’t believe it, couldn’t get her head around the fact that he had purposely driven to the Convict Inn and waited for her to step out on to the asphalt of the parking lot so he could kill her. In the end Myke
Dillon had ended up getting himself killed. Shot to be exact, by Christian. Who knew that her trusty barman, who had become her right-hand man and confidant, had been an undercover agent working for the Australian Federal Police? All this time he had been there watching her back, while waiting for her ex to show his face so they could finally arrest him for all the crimes he had committed.
Knowing that her ex couldn’t touch her anymore lifted the heavy burden of her past from her shoulders once and for all. She didn’t shed one tear for him when an officer had advised her of his death after he had finished taking her statement about the events that led up to her being hit by the SUV. It gave her a great deal of comfort knowing she was free to live her life without having to look over her shoulder to see if her bastard of an ex was lurking there.
Resting her hip against the countertop behind the bar, Mary J lightly massaged her left ankle, the same one that she had broken on the night she was run down. Her ankle still gave her some issues when she was on her feet for too long. It was inevitable that she would be on her feet for too long working behind the bar. She wasn’t about to grumble about it though. Plus, if she took a couple paracetamol tablets, they usually did the trick in easing the ache in her ankle anyway.