Beer-Topia

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Beer-Topia Page 10

by Bathroom Readers' Institute


  The Bürgerbräu brewers were expelled to Germany. And because Germany’s armies had ravaged much of Europe, the name “Budweiser” became loathed there, leading the Czech government to ban the name altogether. The new operators of the Bürgerbräu brewery began selling their beer under names like “Crystal” and “Samson.” The owners of the Budvar brewery had no choice but to drop the Budweiser name. They renamed their beer Budejovický Budvar.

  The three breweries kept out of each other’s hair, all the way to the 1990s. By then, Anheuser-Busch had become one of the world’s largest brewers and was selling its Budweiser lager all across Europe, but under the name “Bud” to avoid another round of legal bickering. After the fall of communism in Czechoslovakia and the creation of the Czech Republic in 1993, the Budvar and Bürgerbräu breweries decided to start selling beer under the name “Budweiser” again.

  That led to another round of complex legal entanglements and a bitter dispute among the three breweries that continues to this day. You can find any of these three lagers all across Europe and North America, but depending on your exact location, they might be called something else.

  A BEER MIXTAPE

  •Two Nice Girls, “I Spent My Last $10 (On Birth Control and Beer)” (1989)

  •Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys, “Bubbles in My Beer” (1947)

  •Tom Waits, “Warm Beer, Cold Women” (1975)

  •The Replacements, “Beer for Breakfast” (1987)

  •Bessie Smith, “Gimme a Pigfoot (And a Bottle of Beer)” (1933)

  •Jacques Brel, “La Bière” (1968)

  •Ernest Neubach and Ralph Maria Siegel, “In Heaven There Is No Beer” (1956)

  •Captain Beefheart, “Long Neck Bottles” (1972)

  •The Andrews Sisters, “Beer Barrel Polka” (1939)

  •Memphis Slim, “Beer Drinking Woman” (1940)

  •Billy Currington, “Pretty Good at Drinking Beer” (2010)

  •Reel Big Fish, “Beer” (1995)

  •The Clancy Brothers, “Beer Beer Beer” (1970)

  •Black Flag, “Six Pack” (1981)

  •The Dubliners, “Pub with No Beer” (1967)

  •ZZ Top, “Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers” (1973)

  •Tom T. Hall, “I Like Beer” (1975)

  •“John Barleycorn” (Traditional British folk song)

  •Johnny Cash, “I Hardly Ever Sing Beer Drinking Songs” (1975)

  THE UNITED STATES OF BEER, PART 3

  Maine: For many, “Maine beer” is synonymous with Allagash, the forward-thinking Portland brewery that helped popularize Belgian-style beer in the U.S. The brewery’s other offerings include Merveilleux, a barrel-aged wild ale. But Allagash is far from alone in the Pine Tree State; any list of Maine’s best breweries would be incomplete without a mention of the Maine Beer Company, whose Dinner and Lunch brews are among the most highly sought-after.

  Maryland: Flying Dog in Frederick is probably the best-known here. Its brash and flavorful aesthetic is reflected in its distinctive, Ralph Steadman–inspired gonzo packaging. Baltimore’s Stillwater Artisanal, however, might be gearing up to give Flying Dog a run for its money; their Gose Gone Wild and barrel-aged brews are among the best-reviewed in the state.

  Massachusetts: Visit any bar in New England, and you’ll find Sam Adams on tap, but Massachusetts is also home to a long list of quality craft brews. Many of these are offered by Ipswich’s Clown Shoes Beer, an irreverent bunch whose fun and aggressive approach to brewing is apparent in offerings like their Very Angry Beast, Undead Party Crasher, and Luchador en Fuego Imperial Stouts.

  Michigan: A person could get lost in the incredible beers offered by Bells Brewery in Galesburg and Founders Brewing Company in Grand Rapids, which include the best stouts in Michigan (Bells Black Note Stout and Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout are particularly amazing) as well as one of the best IPAs you can find (Bells Two Hearted Ale) and one whopper of a Scotch Ale (Founders Backwoods Bastard). Looking for something a little different? Kuhnhenn Brewing in Warren makes an unforgettable Bourbon Barrel French Toast Mead.

  Minnesota: The quirky city of Minneapolis loves its craft beer, and the best-loved of them all might be those by Surly Brewing Company. So popular that they had to pull their beer from outside markets for three years in order to fully serve hometown consumers, the folks at SBC were rewarded with the passage of legislation undoing a Prohibition-era ban on establishments making and selling their beer in the same location, thus clearing the way for a multimillion-dollar Surly “destination brewery” and pub. Start off with their Abrasive Ale, a double IPA named in honor of the founder’s parents, who operated the sandpaper factory where Surly eventually started brewing.

  Mississippi: Lazy Magnolia Brewing Company in Klin makes really, really great beer. Start off with their Timber Beast Imperial Rye Pale Ale and work your way down the line.

  Missouri: Since 1989, St. Louis’s craft brewing scene has proudly played host to Boulevard Brewing Company, and even though they’re no longer independently owned—Belgium’s Duvel-Moortgat purchased a majority stake in 2013—Boulevard’s line still rates among the best craft beer you can find in the home state of Budweiser.

  Montana: Modern beer enthusiasts have so many craft-brewed options that we’ve been trained to think that the best stuff is usually made by the smallest companies, but sometimes, biggest is best—just look at Missoula’s Big Sky Brewing Company, sellers of Montana’s most popular (and most widely distributed) suds. Established in 1995, Big Sky’s core lineup is small, led by its Moose Drool Brown Ale, Scape Goat Pale Ale, Big Sky IPA, Powder Hound Winter Ale, Summer Honey Seasonal Ale, and Trout Slayer Ale. But it also produces a number of renowned limited brews, including the Ivan the Terrible barrel-aged imperial stout and Olde Bluehair Barleywine.

  Nebraska: Founded in 2007 in La Vista, the Nebraska Brewing Company produces much of the state’s best-reviewed beers, led by a Reserve Series lineup that includes its excellent Black Betty Russian Imperial Stout and a barrel-aged version of its HopAnomaly Belgian Strong Ale. And they may not be strictly regional for long: In early 2014, Nebraska Brewing moved into a larger facility big enough to allow for up to 1.5 million gallons of annual production.

  Nevada: The Silver State has its share of craft breweries, the biggest and oldest of which is Great Basin Brewing Company, established in Sparks in 1993. Joseph James and Big Dog’s are among Great Basin’s younger competitors, but the fastest growing of the bunch might be Tenaya Creek Brewery in Las Vegas, which plans a major expansion close to the Strip in early 2015—so much the better for fans of its Imperial Stout, War Dog Imperial IPA, and Old Jackalope Barleywine.

  For part 4 of the story, turn to page 225.

  FUNNY (AND REAL) BRITISH PUB NAMES

  The Leg of Mutton and Cauliflower

  The Duke Without a Head

  Bull and Spectacles

  Donkey on Fire

  Dirty Dick’s

  The Jolly Taxpayer

  Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem

  Cow and Snuffers

  The Thatcher’s Foot

  Muscular Arms

  The Sociable Plover

  The Spinner and Bergamot

  The Strawberry Duck

  Who’d A Thought It

  Sally Up Steps

  Volunteer Rifleman Corps Inn

  The Quiet Woman

  The Old Queen’s Head

  Round of Carrots

  The Inn Next Door Burnt Down

  The Bucket of Blood

  The Poosy Nancies

  The Blind Beggar

  The Olde Cheshire Cheese

  The Bitter End

  Q

  Ye Olde Fighting Cocks

  The Crooked House

  Slug and Lettuce

  The Dying Cow

  The Old New Inn

  The Case Is Altered

  The Same Yet

  The Penny-Come-Quick

  Ye Olde Bung Hole

  The Ram Jam
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br />   The Chocolate Poodle

  The Drunken Duck

  The House Without a Name

  The Fool & Bladder

  WEIGHTS & MEASURES

  Bomber. Also known as a “tallboy,” this is a beer sold in a 22-ounce bottle.

  Growler. A big, capped glass jug of beer, holding around 64 ounces. Legend says that they got their name because they used to be covered pails, and as the carbon dioxide burped its way out from under the lid, it made a “growling” noise.

  Barrel. In the U.S., a barrel holds 31.5 gallons. In the UK, a barrel holds 36 imperial gallons.(British barrels, obviously, are better.)

  Keg. A keg is a container holding half a barrel, or 15.5 gallons. A half-keg is commonly referred to as a pony keg.

  Hogshead. A cooler way of saying “cask that holds 54 imperial gallons,” roughly 64 U.S. gallons.

  THE GOATS WHO LOVED BEER

  Lajitas is a tiny town of fewer than 200 people in West Texas, where the only major business is a store called The Trading Post. Residing there is Clay Henry Moore III, the town’s most prominent citizen. Like his father and grandfather, Clay Henry Moore III is the mayor of Lajitas. Also like his father and grandfather, he’s a goat that drinks beer all day.

  In the 1980s, the first Clay Henry Moore became a tourist attraction when the proprietors of The Trading Post put him out front, luring tourists to watch the goat’s amazing “talent” of guzzling dozens of Lone Star longnecks every day. (The Trading Post, it should be noted, sells beer.) In a ceremonial move in 1986, the tiny town elected Clay its mayor, a position he held until his death in 1992. Cause of death: He got into a drunken brawl with his son, Clay Henry Moore Jr., who had also been taught to drink beer. They literally butted heads over a lady goat they both wanted to mate with. (Seriously.)

  Recalling a Shakespearean tragedy, Clay Henry Moore Jr. ascended to power and inherited his father’s other job of beer-drinking tourist attraction. This goat drank 35 to 40 beers a day, much less than his father, but he still managed to book an appearance on The Sally Jesse Raphael Show in 1995.

  Continuing the dynasty, Clay Henry Moore III is the current mayor and official beer goat of Lajitas. In 2002, there was an assassination attempt. Local resident Jim Bob Hargrove castrated the goat…because tourists were feeding him beer on a Sunday, forbidden by local blue laws. Clay made a full recovery.

  However, in 2014, he nearly lost his mayoral post to an upstart candidate, Pancho…a beer-drinking donkey.

  YOUR DAD’S BEER, PART 2

  More profiles of some enduring beer labels.

  (Part 1 starts on page 137.)

  Sam Adams: This one isn’t as old as you think it is. It’s the flagship label of the Boston Beer Company, a partnership founded in 1984, when the craft beer movement was in its infancy. Although the first batches were made in co-founder Jim Koch’s home, he and his partners, Harry Rubin and Lorenzo Lamadrid, were all Harvard guys with advanced degrees. They each played to their separate strengths, carving out market share at a time when American beer drinkers bought little besides Miller Lite and Budweiser.

  It helped that the company brewed beer that people actually wanted to drink, as reflected by the splashy showing they made at the Great American Beer Festival in 1985—Samuel Adams Boston Lager took top honors and quickly set Boston Beer Company on a fast path to profitability. Just four years later, Koch and his partners had moved 63,000 barrels of Sam Adams.

  In recent years, Boston Beer has risen to compete with Yuengling for the title of largest American-owned brewing company, and it’s become one of the dependable defaults for drinkers who don’t want Bud, but don’t want an overly hoppy microbrew either. The company has also widely expanded its offerings, adding a growing list of seasonal brews as well as an IPA and its Utopias series, which is not for those with faint palates or slender bankrolls (see page 135).

  Iron City: Founded in 1861 by German immigrant Edward Frauenheim, Iron City Brewery quickly became a fixture in Pittsburgh’s Lawrenceville neighborhood, where Frauenheim built a distinctive brick brewhouse in 1866—one of the first in a series of aggressive expansions that soon helped make Iron City the biggest brewery in Pittsburgh.

  Frauenheim’s thirst for growth left the company with one of the more impressive brewing facilities in the country. His decision to take part in the 1899 mega-merger that created the Pittsburgh Brewing Company helped shield him and his business partners from the heavy attrition of Prohibition, which the company coped with by selling everything from ice cream to soda. With those lean years behind it, PBC continued to expand, purchasing additional assets and adjusting its offerings to meet consumers’ changing demands—as they did in the late 1970s, cornering the regional light beer market with IC Light.

  Iron City fell victim to softening demand and the vagaries of corporate whims in later years. Between the mid-1980s and mid-1990s, PBC changed hands more than once. By 2005, PBC found itself in bankruptcy court. In 2007, PBC was purchased yet again, given back its old Iron City Brewing Company name, and, as of 2009, bottling at the old Latrobe Brewing Company plant where Rolling Rock was once produced.

  Guinness: Guinness is definitely not the sort of blue-collar brew a fellow is apt to imbibe in great quantities after a hard day at work—especially these days, given that the stout comes in cans fitted with gas cartridges that are supposed to replicate the draught experience. Regardless, it’s a beer steeped in tradition.

  First offered in 1759 by Irish brewer Arthur Guinness, it’s arguably the world’s best-loved stout. Modern drinkers might hasten to steer you in the direction of any one of a number of beers that offer more unusual or flavorful takes on the variety, but none of them boasts the one-of-a-kind experience that Guinness pilgrims get when venturing to the company’s facility at St. James’s Gate in Dublin—which savvy Arthur Guinness agreed to lease for 9,000 years for the annual fee of £45.

  Of course, the company eventually bought the land, as well as a substantial portion of the land around St. James’s Gate, which once served as the location for corporate housing and a company-built power plant. All that muscle mostly went into the production of more dry stout. Although Guinness has offered a small assortment of additional brews, including the incongruous Guinness Blonde American Lager, it’ll always be known for that old standby. When someone says “Guinness,” it’s the stout that comes to mind, not the company.

  And for good reason: While other breweries have explored and innovated the stout, Guinness has focused on doing one thing extremely well—to the point that the company recommends an exact pouring method (it’s supposed to take you 119.5 seconds to deliver the perfect Guinness pour) and a specific glass, which is designed according to strict (albeit continually changing) guidelines.

  That singular dedication has helped insulate Guinness from a lot of the corporate shenanigans that plagued their peers, although not entirely; in 1997, the company merged with Grand Metropolitan, creating the British beverage conglomerate Diageo, a massive spirits emporium whose assets include Smirnoff, Baileys, and Johnnie Walker, any one of which, now that we think about it, might be accurately described as Your Dad’s Booze.

  RUNNING ON BEER

  • Since 2005, the California brewer Sierra Nevada has had its own fuel cell–based and ultra-clean electric power plant right inside its brewery. It originally ran on piped-in natural gas, but as of 2006, it runs on a mix of natural gas and methane, a by-product of the water-treatment process that the brewery uses. So the more beer they brew, the more methane they produce and the less natural gas they use.

  • City Brewery of La Crosse, Wisconsin, generates a lot of biogas waste product from making beer. How much? About three million kilowatthours’ worth of annual electricity. Captured, cleaned, and dispersed through a special engine called a jenbacher, the energy goes straight down the street to the Gundersen Lutheran Health System. The vast majority of the hospital’s energy needs are provided by City Brewery.

  PILGRIM PRIDE


  We tend to think of the Pilgrims as an austere and sober bunch, but that’s largely a fallacy imposed after the fact by folks in more temperate times. In reality, the passengers on board the Mayflower were in mostly equal parts religious separatists, those there for a New World–sized paycheck, and crew members and servants.

  They set sail in August of 1620 and dropped into New England just in time for winter. There were a number of problems with this, one of them being that the ship was supposed to land in Virginia. In fact, where the Mayflower ultimately landed was roughly a degree of latitude north of the area where they’d been granted license to start a plantation. So why did they do it? They were also out of beer.

  It’s true. In Mourt’s Relation, a journal of the voyage written by colonists Edward Winslow and William Bradford, one entry states that the ship had opted to dock in what they called “Thievish Harbor,” a.k.a. Plymouth Bay, because, in their words, “We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer, and it being now the 19th of December.”

  ***

  8 SLANG TERMS FOR BEER

  1. Amber nectar

  2. Barley pop

  3. Brewski

  4. Cold coffee

  5. Laughing water

  6. Liquid bread

  7. Suds

  8. Vitamin B

  EVERYTHING’S FINING

  Finings are nonessential ingredients added during the brewing process to clarify a beer’s appearance, or to add a hint of flavor. Let’s hope you can’t taste any of these finings in your beer, all of which are really used by big brewers, craft brewers, and homebrewers alike.

 

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