The Major had made the whole thing sound a lot more civilized than it was. If you didn’t “consent” to participating in the fights there was a big, red target painted onto your back. You were free game. If you did consent but didn’t do your best to beat your opponent into the ground, you were a target. Basically to win, you had to be the biggest bastard and not give two shits about your opponent.
Which is probably why I was going to lose tomorrow morning. How could I go into a fight with the intention of hurting or killing these people?
Because you have to. My mind supplied unhelpfully. Because, whether you like it or not, they are going to war with the Vanir.
I still didn’t understand all the specifics. Lucy and Chance had told me last year that the Norse Gods had split; entering into the second civil war they’d had since their inception. From what I’d gathered, one Goddess had decided to wreck everything and ruin a peace treaty that had lasted for generations. She’d been killed, or something close to it, and now her relatives were pissed.
Chance and Lucy had spent the better part of the year trying to locate someone named Idun, who they said could be the key to ending the war. But even if they found this Idun person tomorrow, it wouldn’t be in time to stop what was going to happen.
So that meant every man or woman who successfully completed the challenge would be one more soldier aimed at Freyr. One more soldier aimed at Chance and Lucy. One more threat to my niece and nephew.
And, as much as I tried to deny it, I already had a compelling reason to fight. If not for my family, then for my future, who stood silhouetted at the end of the corridor, watching the fights.
Audrey. I couldn’t imagine a world without her. I’d been trying to hide the depth of how I felt. She was clearly terrified by this whole ordeal, and I didn’t need to add to that by throwing around words like fate and destiny. Words like survival and victory were sexier at this point.
I had to protect her. I had to find a way out of here for her sake. And that most likely meant fighting to win. If throwing the matches would accomplish the same thing, I’d do it. Six matches lost and you were permitted to leave. But if I did that, I would probably be the only one walking away.
Audrey had raged for a half hour about how specist and sexist it was to call humans, and especially human women, weak. But match after match, it had been made quite clear that the humans were the weak link.
It had quickly become common practice to injure a were-animal’s human companion. If you could maim or kill the human, the were-animal would be disqualified.
My lips pulled away from my teeth in a silent snarl. No one was going to touch Audrey. I’d rip their arms off first. Yes, that’s what I’d do. Leave the humans be, and fight only the were-animal. And if it was stupid enough to harm my mate, it would rue the day it had ever been born.
Audrey glanced back at me covertly. She’d been doing that off and on since we’d met. I took that as a good sign. Lucy had said it had taken her a while to process the connection she had with Chance and embrace her feelings. Maybe Audrey was doing the same.
Or maybe not. Alarm flashed across her face as she caught sight of my expression. Her own face closed off at once. She curled herself closer to the archway, making herself appear smaller. Her hands trembled at her sides.
I sighed. It wasn’t going to be that easy, it appeared.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” How many times did I have to say it before she actually believed it? Would she ever?
She didn’t respond, but her spine stiffened further, and her shoulders hunched in as if she were preparing for a blow.
I got off of the low bench that ran the length of the hall. The guard at the door looked up at me once, checking my expression before he turned his attention back to the game. I had no idea who would be idiotic enough to run onto the field without armor or weapons, so I didn’t really see why he was here at all.
We’d been given the option of watching from one of the six halls that led from the barracks into the arena or watching the matches from a narrow gap in our quarters that barely qualified as a window. Audrey had suggested we get an idea of what we’d be up against, and I’d agreed. It couldn’t hurt.
“I’m not mad at you,” I insisted, gripping her shoulder gently. She flinched away from my touch.
“What was that face for then?” she whispered, keeping her voice low enough it would be difficult for the guard to hear. I followed her example, leaning closer to her, placing my lips at the shell of her ear.
I had no idea what they’d do if they found out exactly what Audrey was to me. Would they hold her hostage and force my cooperation? Would they give her to another were-animal, one who would not protect her as I would? Would they just let her go? She’d be taken away from me, of that I was almost certain.
“I was thinking of what I’d do to anyone who tried to put his hands on you. I was thinking he wouldn’t keep those hands for long.”
We were pressed close, and I could feel the shiver that ran down her spine. I didn’t want her to be afraid. I didn’t want her sweet smell to sour every time she caught sight of me.
I wanted the musky scent of her arousal. I’d scented it on her before, on our journey to the barracks. I wanted it again. I wanted her to want me to touch her. I just wasn’t sure how to accomplish that.
“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you,” I promised. “I’ll die before I let that happen.”
“Don’t,” she whispered back. She turned slightly, so she could spear me with a look from her piercing, hazel eyes. Her lips were inches from mine. I wanted to close the distance between us. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have her mouth on me. “Don’t die for me, Luke. Live for me, okay?”
How exactly did I go about telling her that living for her, living with her, being hers, was all I wanted?
***
Five-in-the-fucking-morning is an ungodly hour to be up. I about punched Adner out when he finally resorted to pouring cold water on me.
“Get up, James.”
I almost snapped at him that there was no fucking James here, and that he should save the wake-up call for someone who asked for it. But my sluggish, angry brain caught up with my mouth before I could do anything but snarl at him. Right. I was posing as Clayton James. And today was the big day.
Yippee.
Adner threw something on the ground at my feet. I squinted at it and could only make out a mound of fur in the pre-dawn light. Audrey, already awake and on her feet sans ice water, knelt to examine the bundle.
“Leather armor,” she explained. “And furs. I guess it’s supposed to be a cold one.”
She sifted through the pile, naming off pieces as she went. I recognized the big stuff, like the breastplate and helm. But half the stuff she listed sounded like gibberish to me. While I hadn’t thought Audrey was an idiot by any means, it did surprise me how familiar she was with the armor and weaponry before her. I was the result of the declining standards in the public education system. Clearly, she’d graduated whatever private school she’d attended with a higher grade point average than me.
She looked up from the pile with a scowl, glaring at Adner.
“Is this it?”
“It is all he will require,” Adner replied with a shrug. “It is enchanted, and will change when he does.”
“It may be all he requires, but where’s the rest of it?”
Adner looked genuinely puzzled. “I don’t understand what you’re asking, Miss.”
“Where’s mine?” She demanded. “If I’m going out into that arena, I’m not doing it in a flannel shirt and skinny jeans.”
“You are not required to fight,” Adner said, a scowl slashing deep lines into his already grizzled face. “That is for your protector to do, or fail to do.”
“I don’t give a damn,” Audrey said, jabbing a finger into his armored chest. “You’re sending me out there with armor and a weapon, or I’m not going.”
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For a few seconds, I feared he’d slap her. How often had the old man been talked back to in his life? His ancient face was inscrutable. I actually jumped when he barked out a laugh, giving her a toothy smile.
“I like your spirit. Assist James in donning the armor, while I fetch something in your size.”
“Thank you,” she said, inclining her head to him. He turned on his heel and marched back down the hall.
“You can’t fight,” I insisted, the second he was out of earshot.
“Why the hell not?” she asked, settling her hands on her hips in that unique fashion that only women and gay men can seem to perfect. It’s usually accompanied by a quirked brow, flashing eyes, and the set of the mouth that says, ‘you’ve fucked up’.
“Look, I’ve got a sister, Audrey. I’m not insinuating that you can’t protect yourself. But, these things are stronger and faster than you. That’s a fact. You’ve seen how quickly the human companions can be hurt. I’m not letting that happen to you.”
“I’m not going out there unprepared,” she argued. “Say they get past you, Luke, what happens then? I’m not going out there without a way to at least stab someone who charges me.”
I winced. I hadn’t thought of that. I wasn’t the only bear here. I was one of the biggest, but that didn’t mean diddly. If they had more skill than I did, they could get past me to her. I couldn’t just leave her vulnerable.
“Fine,” I muttered, bending to scoop up the armor on the ground. “You’re here to help, so help me. What the hell is this thing?”
She took it from my hand with a tiny, amused smile. It was the first happy expression I’d seen on her face since we’d introduced ourselves two days ago.
“It’s a bracer,” she said, taking the long cylindrical piece of leather from me. She fitted it over my forearm easily and began securing it with strings. “They protect your hands and forearms during melee combat.”
She picked the matching bracer up and tied it onto my other arm. Before she’d allow me to get any further with the armor though, she helped me dress in a simple, green tunic that had been folded inside all the furs. Though I’d gotten used to being naked in the last couple of days, I was still glad to be wearing clothes again.
Slowly but surely, she helped me don the armor. I’d expected it to be heavy, a weight I’d need to grow accustomed to. The armor, furs and all were less cumbersome even than the pads I’d worn to play football. I paced the room experimentally. The leather was sturdy, but allowed for a wider range of motion than I’d expected. I drew the sword she’d attached to the belt at my waist. It gleamed in the low light.
I was distracted once more by the warm, musky scent of arousal. It reminded me strongly of a delicious, pear cider that I’d sampled with friends at a Renaissance fair. I glanced at Audrey, who quickly looked away rather than make eye contact. But I knew that scent.
She was turned on. Why? What had prompted the change? Hadn’t she been mad at me only a few seconds before? Women were confusing.
Before I could ask or even acknowledge the shift that had occurred, Adner was back, and I wanted to punch him for a whole different reason.
“Here you are, my lady,” he said, winking at her before depositing a smaller pile of clothing at her feet. “Will you need help?”
“I’ve got it,” I said, stepping between them. I didn’t care if I was being a dick. The dirty, old man wasn’t going to see my girl naked.
“I’m fine. Thank you, Adner.”
By the time he’d left, the musky spice of her desire was already fading. Damn him. She rummaged through her pile before she withdrew a smaller version of the tunic I wore, though hers was blue.
“Do you need help?” I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.
“I can get everything but the breastplate,” she said, unbuttoning her shirt with swift, businesslike movements. If I were actually the gentleman I’d been raised to be, I’d have turned away. But I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, no matter how hard I tried. She was wearing a grey sports bra beneath the flannel shirt. Without looking at me, she stripped that off as well.
I think I might have made a sound. I knew my jaw was flapping in the wind. They weren’t the only pair I’d ever had the privilege to see, but they were the most beautiful I could ever recall laying eyes on. They were just the right size, a little over a handful. Her nipples were a rosy pink and pointed upward. Her tits didn’t move an inch as she dropped the bra to the ground. She glanced up, staring at me defiantly.
She was naked from the waist up, and her hair was a stark contrast to the pale, unblemished skin of her shoulders. I wanted to crush her to my chest and bury my face in the soft, auburn waves. I wanted to lay her down on the lower of the two bunks and worship every inch of her.
She looked away first, a rosy blush coloring her cheeks. Don’t be ashamed. I wanted to say. You’re the most beautiful thing in the world. Never doubt that.
She shimmied out of the jeans as well, and I got a tantalizing glimpse of her long, creamy legs before she pulled on a pair of breeches. Her tunic fell to her mid-thigh. I watched carefully as she attached the rest of her armor. It didn’t look too complicated. Maybe the next time I’d be able to help her into it.
I’d have bet good money she looked better in the armor than I did. I’d thought she’d looked good before in the jeans and oversized shirt. She looked like she was ready to go conquer an enemy nation. That shouldn’t sound as sexy, should it?
“You’re so hot,” I muttered, more to myself than to her.
“You’re not bad yourself,” she said, giving me an appraising once over. A light clicked on in my head. The armor? Was that what had gotten her hot and bothered? I turned away to try to hide a smile. Now that was interesting. I’d have to keep that in mind.
“You should braid your hair,” I said, stooping to pick up the spear that Adner had brought for her to use. It did make me feel a little better to see her holding it. She could get something sharp into her attacker before it ever got the chance to lay claw or fang into her.
“What?”
“You should braid your hair,” I repeated. I ran one soft strand of her hair between my fingers, savoring the moment of unguarded intimacy. I wanted to wind my hands into it as I claimed her mouth. I didn’t think that would go over well at the moment. “If it’s out of reach, they can’t use it against you.”
She blinked once in surprise. “Good point.”
“May I?” I asked, reaching for her hair again. I was pleased to see that she at least allowed me that much.
“Do you know how?”
“I’ve got a sister. After our parents died, I learned how to do practically every hairstyle. Turn around. I’ll put it in a fishtail.”
She turned toward the door, allowing me at her back. It would have been easier with a brush, but we weren’t allowed trivial comforts like that here. We were lucky if we were allowed to bathe. At least they were feeding us. Though I suspected that was more to keep up our energy than anything else. The absence of creature comforts was probably another device to get us to cooperate.
I managed to twist her sweet-smelling locks into a serviceable braid and stepped away. It felt colder in the room without her body next to mine.
“You have a sister” she mentioned, turning back to face me. For now, there was no fear on her face, only curiosity.
“My twin sister, Lucy. She’s married with two kids now.”
Her face softened. “I bet you’re an amazing uncle.”
A pang shot through me at the mention of my niece and nephew. I cleared my throat, trying to dislodge the lump I could feel forming. “I don’t know. I’ve never met them.”
She looked stricken, and opened her mouth, maybe to apologize. Instead, the gong outside began to sound. We had to get to the hall quickly or we’d be dragged out.
“Let’s go.”
She fell into step beside me, her grip on the spear tighteni
ng as we walked toward the large entrance the led into the arena. Adner followed behind us.
“I suggest you give it your all, James. Thor and Tyr have decided to put in an appearance to watch the matches today.”
My spine went ramrod straight as my brain processed what the aged warrior had said. I didn’t know much about mythology, and what I did know was mostly Greek. And my foundation in even that was shaky. I’d gotten several lessons over the course of the last year from Chance.
Apparently, to be born into a were-bear family was akin to being born into a fundamentalist Christian home. You learned all the myths, the rituals, the prayers whether you wanted to or not and only got the choice to practice the religion or not after you moved out.
I’d had to learn a few of those rituals, too. Apparently, though I’d yet to be able to do it, my spirit could separate itself from my body and go walking. Chance was apparently in the top percentile in the entire country when it came to how far he could travel as pure spirit. The bars Chance had given me were supposed to prevent my body and spirit from leaving the cave until I could master myself.
Those bars contained carved runes, holy symbols to keep me caged. They required faith to charge them. A prayer to any Norse God or Goddess would do, but I’d been given a list of them to avoid since the outbreak of the war.
The ones I could pray to were Njord, Nerthus, Freyr, Ullr, Hnoss, Gersemi, and Vana, the assembled Gods fighting for the Vanir.
The ones I couldn’t pray to were any of the Gods fighting for the Aesir. Odin, Frigg, Forseti, Bragi, Heimdall, Thor, and Tyr. He said it was unlikely that my prayer would register among thousands of others, but it was better not to take that chance. If they were looking, I could draw attention to myself.
Well fuck. They’d be looking now.
“Tyr?” Audrey echoed. “And Thor? As in, the Norse Gods?”
“Yes,” Adner replied curtly.
“But they’re only myth,” she said slowly. “If they existed, why wouldn’t they get involved? Why wouldn’t they interact with mortals?”
Defending the Bear (Blue Ridge Bears Book 2) Page 4