by McLean, Jay
"College athletes," I said, sitting on her bed and rubbing my palm across my jaw.
"Fuck practice, come back to bed." She rested her chin on my shoulder, while her arms went around me from behind.
"I can't." I started to pull her arms off me, because if she asked again, I don't think I could say no.
Instead of letting go, she tightened her hold and wrapped both legs around my waist. I laughed, "What are you doing?"
She made a grunting sound as she pulled as both back until we were lying on the bed. She got out from underneath me and moved so we were side to side. She panted; exhausted from the energy it just took to do what she did. Her face was flush and hair was a mess on her head. I laughed at how cute she looked. She smiled too, looking right in my eyes. And then something took over her face, a completely different emotion. Her smile slowly faded. One of her fingers brushed my cheek. "I love it when you smile," she said quietly. "I love when your dimples show." She kissed one, and then adjusted my head to kiss the other. And then she pulled back, her eyes never leaving mine.
And this—this is the moment that I forget my past. I forget that not everyone that loves you is out to hurt you. It's this moment—when I let it be okay for someone to love me. Because Amanda and I—we could. I don't think we do yet. But we could. One day—soon I think—we could really fall in love, with each other.
I got my phone out of my pocket, and brought up Jake's number. "What are you doing?" she asked, watching me.
"Sending Jake a text."
"Why?"
"To tell him to make up a reason why I'm sleeping in your bed instead of being at practice."
She made a squealing sound as she got back under the covers, making room for me. She wore a huge smile. I took my pants and shirt off and got into bed with her.
"Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?" she asked from next to me.
I put my arm behind her head and pulled her into me. Her head was on my chest, my fingers in her hair, and her body half on top of mine. "Now I will," I told her, kissing her on the head.
***
A few hours later we were in the living room, sprawled out on the sofa. We wanted to have a day to just be together, without really doing anything. I planned on taking her out to dinner tonight, and maybe a movie or something afterwards. As much as I wanted to, I was going to try to hold off on sex for a few more dates.
The keyword was try.
I was sitting down, with the laptop on the arm of the sofa, doing some homework.
She was laying down with her head on my lap, while she read on her e-reader. My fingers played with her hair.
We both looked up when Ethan walked in. He watched us for a moment, before sitting on the arm of the recliner opposite. "Hey, Dimmy, what's that girl's name, you know the one that's friends with Kara? The one with the big..." he trailed off but motioned his hands to indicate boobs.
Amanda snorted, "Kara," she answered, going back to her book.
"No. Not Kara," he said annoyed, "Her friend! Are you even listening to me!”
"Yes, asshole, Kara's friend with the big boobs is Kara. There's two Kara's"
"Oohhhh," he smiled, then got up and began to leave.
"Wait. Why?" She sat up now and turned to him.
"I'm picking her up later."
"What?" It was my turn to speak. "What happened to Kellie I E?"
"Don't even," he said, shaking his head.
"What happened?" I couldn't help but chuckle.
He sat back down in the recliner, "Dude. She was so annoying. She speaks Internet talk. Like it's an actual thing. I'm not joking. She never laughed. Ever. You know what she'd do instead?"
I could hear Amanda giggling next to me. "What?" she managed to get out.
"She'd say 'LOL' or 'ROFL'."
Amanda laughed harder.
"She said 'OMG' all the time. Every sentence, 'OMG'." He mocked her voice when explaining. "Instead of acting or saying she was confused, she'd actually spell out 'w t f'."
Amanda was all out laughing now, and so am I. She scooted closer to me, and hugged my arm, plastering her face onto it to muffle the sound. My hand landed on her bare leg.
I saw Ethan's eyes catch the movement, but he didn't say anything, just smiled and continued to speak, "I twisted my ankle playing basketball, and when I told her, she didn't ask if I was okay. Guess what she said?"
Amanda shook her head, still laughing.
"Guess!" Ethan said again.
"What? I don't know." Amanda's giggle took over the room. All I could do was watch her.
Ethan answered, "She pouted and said 'Sad face emoticon!'"
She threw her head back in laughter, her eyes starting to water.
"She did not." She shook her head in disbelief.
"Swear it." He got off the sofa and started walking out of the room. He turned just before the door and took in our positions again. "You need to call Ma and let her know everything's okay."
Her face sobered but she nodded.
Then her head was back resting on my lap, and my fingers were in her hair.
And it was pretty damn close to perfect.
***
"I've got a good truth question today." She smiled big, excited. She sat up and got comfortable, turning her body towards me.
"Go for it." I told her, as I positioned us so were face to face, our knees touching.
"Okay. You get the chance to travel the world. All expenses paid. You get flights, accommodation, and food, everything taken care off. But you have to somehow make money to go sightseeing and buy souvenirs and stuff. You can bring three things with you to help you make money. So, you can be like, a street performer or something. Whatever. What do you bring?"
I watched her as she said all this, legs crossed, her hands clasped in front of her, eyes wide, waiting for my response.
And seeing her like this—I know what I want.
I want more.
I want her.
"I'd only need one thing."
"But you can bring three," she said, still excited.
I shook my head, looking her straight in the eyes. "I don't need three, I just need one."
"Okaaay...are you going to tell me what it is?"
"Honestly, I don't think you could handle it."
She rolled her eyes, "Come on! Tell me," she pled, her hand on my leg trying to shake the answer out of me.
"Fine!" I told her. She stopped shaking me, but her hand stayed on me. "I'd bring you, Amanda. Just you."
Her eyes widened, before looking down between us. My hands moved to hers and linked our fingers together.
"But...I can't make you any money," she said quietly.
"Amanda." Her eyes lifted to mine. "It doesn't matter where I am in this world, there's nothing else I'd rather see. Just you."
She closed her eyes slowly. I don't know how long I sat there staring at her, her eyes staying closed, before she finally whispered, "Kiss me now, Logan."
So I did.
I slowly moved forward, licking my lips. I rubbed my nose against hers.
She sighed.
My lips brushed hers so lightly I don't know if she felt it.
Then her phone sounded.
We both jerked back from the sudden interruption.
She let her ring tone play. It was Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's. She smiled dreamily.
"Excuse me," she said, standing up and leaving the room. She put the phone to her ear and spoke, "Well well," she started, "you finally find time in your busy schedule to call me." I heard her laugh before the bedroom door closed.
Fifteen minutes later she was back. She stood in front of me, biting her lip, playing with the hem of her shirt.
I waited
She opened her mouth to speak, and then snapped it shut. She did that a couple more times before finally sighing and sitting down next to me.
I raised my eyebrows, waiting f
or her to speak.
"So." She looked down at her phone. "That was my friend Ty."
"Friend? You need to leave the room to talk to a friend?"
She shook her head. "He's uh, he's my ex boyfriend."
I nodded. "And?"
She blew out a small breath, and then took my hand in both of hers. This must be bad. "Please don't get mad—"
I interrupted her. "You should never start an explanation with that."
"I know. But you will, and I don't want you to."
Now I was really worried. "What is it?"
"Promise me you won't get mad?"
"I can't promise that."
"Fine," she stood up to leave.
I pulled on her arm. "I promise."
Whipped.
She sat back down, closer this time. "We need to go out and buy your own bed. Like, now."
"What the fuck?" I almost yelled.
"You promised," she warned.
I tried to settle down. "Explain."
"Ty's coming to visit for a few days and I need you to not-"
I opened my mouth to interrupt her but she covered it with her hand.
She closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths, her hand still covering my mouth. Then she opened them and continued, like she was talking to a child. "I need you to sleep in your own bed tonight."
She slowly removed her hand.
"That doesn't explain a fucking thing, Amanda. What the fuck?"
"He can't know that you and I are—whatever you and I are."
I waited for her to continue but she didn't.
"I don't understand." I stood up and started pacing. I was so fucking confused. "Are you still holding out hope that you guys will get back together or something?"
"What!" she guffawed. "No. Not at all."
"Then what, Amanda? I don't get it." I was yelling.
She stood up, too. Then forcefully sat me back down on the sofa. Then she sat so she was straddling my hips with a hand on each side of my face. "Quit it. Stop being pathetic."
I rolled my eyes; my hands went to her ass, bringing her closer to me. She leans her forehead against mine and kissed me quickly a few times.
"Stop using your body to distract me," I told her.
She kissed me again, deeper this time.
I gripped her ass, tighter this time.
'Wait." I pulled away. "Why don't you want him to know about us?"
She pulled back, her eyes roaming my face. "It's complicated. I can't tell you. Not now. But soon, okay?"
"I don't like all these secrets you're keeping from me."
She smiled sadly, "Neither do I, Logan. Trust me."
***
My phone had been blowing up from the coaching staff, I guess because I missed practice this morning. I was still deciding whether or not it was worth whatever punishment I was about to receive.
She came to the field with me, but waited in the car while I went in and took whatever punishment they had for me for bailing on practice.
Turned out they were calling me for a whole other reason.
She must've sensed it, because the second I'm in the car, she turned to me. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"They need me to start."
She looked at me, and waited. I'm guessing she didn't get it.
"The first game of the season is two weeks from now. They want me to start. Jackson, the starting catcher, he's injured, they want him to sit it out. So I'm playing."
Her eyebrows drew in. She started to pout.
"I don't normally play. Not catcher. I don't normally have much game time. This will be the first time Jake pitches to me at college level."
It was quiet for a moment, as she took this in. "Well, that's good right?"
I shrugged, before pulling out of the spot and driving to Ikea. "I guess," I mumbled. "I don't really know."
***
We met Dylan at the parking lot and swapped cars. I never had to ask him twice, he loved driving my car. I told him he could have it for a week. He tore out of the lot, wheels spinning as he did.
He was on his own when he arrived. In fact, come to think of it, I hadn't seen much of Heidi around at all lately.
Amanda walked around with her tablet and knew where everything was. I let her buy whatever she wanted. Honestly, I don't give a shit what was in my room.
I did however; step in when she asks the guy at the electrical store which TV had the 'prettiest picture'.
TWENTY TWO
Logan
We'd only been home for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door.
She froze mid movement. I watched her closely. "Ty," she breathed out, before practically running out of my room.
This guy must be a god of some sort, judging by her reaction. Or ridiculously good in bed. I swallowed down the vomit that'd formed in my throat. The mental image of her being boned by some other guy was literally making me sick. Slowly, and attempted casually, I walked to the door so I could meet this asshole. She had her arms around his neck, his arms around her waist, lifting her off the floor. She was crying, but it wasn't the sad, fucked up, tears that I cause. They were happy tears.
He looked up when I walked into his vision. He placed her back on the floor, before taking the few steps to reach me.
"Oh," Amanda spoke, "sorry, this is, uh..." she trailed off.
"I'm Tyson," he spoke for her, hand out waiting. "Her ex. She's so damn awkward about it."
I shook his hand. "Logan."
His eyes widened and his body tensed. It was a small movement, and if I wasn’t glaring at him, I wouldn't have noticed at all.
He looked back at Amanda, then me again. "Huh," he said, as if something had just dawned on him. He faces her. "Dinner? We got a lot to catch up on."
She nodded
***
I called Dylan to help assemble all the shit Amanda bought. He was with Cam at the time, so they both came over. Lucy called Cam to hang out at Jake and Micky's, but he told her he was busy so everyone ended up coming here.
Amanda was having dinner with Ty, so I left all the smaller shit for her to do.
I was pissed that she was with him, instead of me, but I couldn't do shit about it. I told her I'd leave it alone, so I was trying. She only just left and already I was looking forward to seeing her again—to having her all to myself.
***
With four guys assembling, it only took an hour until everything was built.
"Shit," Cam said, "It looks just like your-"
"Pool house," I finished for him, taking a looked around the room.
She remembered.
***
"Dude," Dylan said to Cam, who'd just taken his cap off and was now shaking his head wildly. "You need to get a hair cut."
"Yeah," Jake agreed, "you look like that kid from One Direction."
We all looked at Jake before bursting out laughing.
We were all in the backyard, having a quiet night in.
"Which one?" Heidi asked, giggling.
Jakes shrugged and sat up, "I don't know their names," he spat, defensively.
We laughed harder.
"What!" he huffed. "Julie's going through a phase. Shut up!"
We kept laughing.
"I can't get a haircut," Cam said, interrupting the laughter. "Lucy won't let me."
"What!" Dylan practically yelled, the same time I spat out my beer. Cam was seriously the most whipped of all of them.
I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt. "Sorry, Cameron, you're going to have to repeat that. I couldn't hear you over the sound of your throbbing vagina."
Jake threw his head back, his body shaking with his laugh. Dylan and I bumped fists while Heidi snorted, which made her giggle harder.
"You assholes laugh it up," Cam said, pointing a finger at me. "Luce likes something to hold on to when I go down-"
"OH MY GOD!" Lucy yelled, th
e same time Heidi squealed.
We were all in fits of laughter when the back door opened and Amanda walked out, sans Ty. Thank fuck.
"You've been at work?" Micky asked her.
Amanda brought a chair from inside and placed it next to me before taking a seat. She faced Micky. "No. Just out for dinner. Um, Ty's in town." she said. There was no hint of any emotion in her tone. Not happy, not excited. She was just stating facts.
"Ty's here?" Micky perked up. Jake sat up a little straighter.
Amanda grinned. "Yeah, just visiting for a couple of days."
"Oh really?" Micky crooned. "I want to say hi to him."
Amanda gripped the side of her chair, leaning forward and rubbing her cheek on her shoulder, "He just went to catch up with some friends quickly, but he should be back soon. Hopefully you'll catch him."
"Oh my God," Micky gasped, facing Lucy. "Remember when I told you about that guy from my school that sang ‘Hey There Delilah’ by the Plain White T's at his graduation?"
I glanced at Amanda. It's her ring tone.
Lucy's brows furrowed, thinking, then, "Yeah, what about it?"
Micky's eyebrows rose and her head jerked towards Amanda.
"No way!" Lucy's eyes went wide.
Amanda chuckled a little, and then nodded her head slowly.
"Wait." Lucy sat up. Looking from Amanda to Micky and then back again. "That musician with the Juilliard scholarship? That's Ty? That's your ex?"
Juilliard? Really? How much do I not know about her?
Amanda laughed a little. "Yeah, that's him," she stated proudly.
Great.
Heidi piped up, "What am I missing? Who did what now?"
Cam held his hand to his heart, batted his eyelashes dramatically, and said in a high pitched voice, "Oh my gaaahhd. He's so dreamy. Mother fucking swooooooo-" He got cut off when Lucy back handed him in the stomach.
We laughed.
"So." Micky started, while Jake rolled his eyes. "Ty's two years older than us, right?" She looked to Amanda for confirmation. She nodded. Micky continued, "At his graduation ceremony, he convinced the committee to let him perform, in front of everybody. He sang Hey There Delilah, just him and his guitar, on stage, but changed it to Hey There Amanda." Her smile widened, " I swear to God, every girl there cried. And it was all out ugly cries. Everyone was so jealous of her."