by Mary Hughes
“Excuse me—” I began.
“No! You’re the liar, remember?”
“Not even just this once? When the outcome is so desperately important?”
“Pardon me, ladies—”
“She would have figured it out. If the decision was already made, why would we be here?”
“We could have lied about that too.”
“Shut up!” I glared at them both.
A thud on the wall. “Liese, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, Mom.” Not. If these two were personifications of me, I was going to have a brainectomy. “Ladies, the decision’s made. Your contract’s complete. Now poof out.”
“But—” Good Liese poofed.
“You can’t—” Bad Liese started. But I could, and she went poof too.
Unfortunately, they were right about one thing. I was dangerously close to falling in love with Logan, a man—dammit, vampire—who I didn’t, couldn’t trust.
Which meant one thing. I had to get rid of him. Not physically, this time. No, this time I had to figure out how to cut Logan Steel from my heart.
When it was just about sex, it was scary enough. But my little imaginary selves had driven it home—this was about love. Damned monogamy gene.
I had loved Botcher with my young unformed heart, and his betrayal had practically destroyed me. Logan was not a man—vampire—sexy male—for half-measures. I would love him irrevocably, with my whole heart. His betrayal would annihilate me.
I couldn’t take the chance. So how to drive in that wedge?
Heh. Wedge in the heart. Logan, in that insane way of his, would point out that the metaphor was stake in the heart, and then make a slew of puns on stake. I smiled. He was so cute.
Cute? I covered my face. How was I ever to get him out of my heart when he was constantly on my mind? He was gorgeous and strong and fun on top of it.
My hand slid slowly off. Logan was fun and gorgeous and powerful. Who wouldn’t love such perfection? But if I could find a place he wasn’t perfect…yes, that might do it. All I had to do was find a flaw in Logan Steel’s incredible character.
Oh, right. A cinch. Find a flaw in the male who was not only an industry leader but a terrific fighter and a sexual partner to die for. A male who was bright as a supernova with a sense of humor, to boot. The only time I’d seen him less than his best was with Zinnia—I sat up. Not Zinnia, but what she represented.
His own household.
And suddenly I knew exactly the stake I would use to cleave my heart. Logan’s Achilles heel, householding. If I found out why he was so disturbed by it, it was sure to cast him in a bad light. But how, when Logan obviously did not want to talk about it?
I could ask Zinnia. Sure, if I wanted an hour sermon on the misunderstood undead. Who else knew about vampires? Nixie, apparently, if Julian was one. But she was out of town. The only other person I knew who was in on the secret was Elena Strongwell.
A glance at the clock told me Elena would be at work for another couple hours. She worked third shift (and didn’t that just make sense now that I knew her hubby was literally a creature of the night). But every Thursday morning she had breakfast with her sister Gretchen at the Caffeine Café. As soon as the sun came up, I headed there.
The two sisters sat at a small table in the back of the café. They were half-sisters, actually, but you’d never guess they were even related from their looks. Tall, slender Elena had glossy dark curls falling past her shoulders. She leaned her chair against the wall, the casual pose a cover for her constantly roving dark cop eyes. A plate of bacon, eggs and hashed browns sat in front of her.
Gretchen looked like a petite cheerleader, only nice. Her short, sassy blonde hair shook as she dug into a scone. Her blue eyes closed in pleasure as she ate.
Except cheerleader-slim Gretchen wasn’t so slim anymore. In fact, she looked distinctly pregnant.
Elena saw me first. “Liese. Glad you’re here. About last night—”
“You don’t have to explain. May I?” I pulled over an empty chair.
Gretchen moved her scone and herbal tea to make room for me. “Do you mind me not waiting? I’m eating for two.”
“Congratulations.” As I hung my coat over the back of the chair I raised eyebrows at Elena. “I can’t believe no one told me.”
Elena grimaced. “Things have been kind of busy. But about last night—”
Gretchen laughed. “I heard about how Elena got drunk and stripped again.”
“Again?” My legs went out from under me. Thank goodness for the chair. I grabbed the back and managed to maneuver myself into the seat.
Elena jerked her hand toward a barista, an irritated signal. “The first time was in the line of duty.”
As if supercop Elena stripping at a bar wasn’t shock enough, the owner of the café came running over at Elena’s wave. Diana Prince rarely waited on customers, and never served them personally. Now the elegant proprietor smiled at us. Smiled. “Can I get you something more, Elena?”
“Whatever Liese wants,” Elena said.
Diana turned to me. “Large coffee, ranger cookie?”
“Y…yes.” I never knew Diana herself noticed me, much less remembered my usual. As she hurried away I turned to Elena. “What was that all about?”
Her cheeks reddened. “She feels indebted to Bo. He saved her life once.”
“A couple times,” Gretchen corrected, digging into her scone. The scent of raspberry cream filled the air. “So what did you mean, Elena didn’t have to explain about last night?”
“Well…” Gretchen was Bo Strongwell’s sister-in-law but it didn’t mean she knew his secrets. On the other hand, this might be my only chance to talk with Elena. “I just meant I already knew about Bo’s, um, dental issues. And his problem with…pink eye.”
“Pink eye.” Gretchen nearly snorted tea. “Like Strongwell’s a cute white bunny. Not normally what you’d compare a master v-guy to.”
“You know about vam—”
“Shh. We don’t use the v-word in public.” Gretchen twitched her head at nearby tables.
Elena was watching me with an expression close to horror. “Who told you?”
Diana Prince hurried over with my coffee and cookie. She slid plate and mug onto the table then sashayed away.
She’d warmed the cookie. I stared at it, wondering if someone was filming this for YouTube. “No one told me, exactly. Logan said a few things, and did a few things, and I figured it out.”
“Logan Steel?” Elena’s chair clopped down. “What’d he say?”
“And what’d he do?” Gretchen wagged her brows.
I cleared my throat. “Well…he bit me.”
Two clunks greeted that, Elena and Gretchen dropping mugs.
I looked from one sister to the other. “What’s wrong?”
“He bit you? As in bit—” Elena clacked teeth, “—you? Is he out of his mind?”
“That’s not allowed,” Gretchen said.
“V-guys don’t bite?” I asked.
“Only rogues drink from uninitiated humans.” Gretchen spat the word. “Civilized v-guys have donors. Donors know what to expect.”
I remembered Professor Bud’s lecture. Good guy vamps protected humans, who voluntarily gave them blood in return, like a co-op.
“Logan is the Ancient One’s lieutenant. His first lieutenant.” Elena shook her head, curls swishing vehemently, as if she could shake loose the alien idea of Logan biting me. “The Ancient One is going to kill him over this. Disembowel him.”
That didn’t sound good. Though I wanted to get rid of Logan, I didn’t want him disemboweled. “Um…it might have been an accident.”
“No way. Biting…drinking…it’s no accident.”
“Well…it happened during—” I cleared my throat again, “—sex.”
Both of them gaped at me. Elena said, “Sex? As in, him having sex with you?”
The incredulity in her voice made me burn red. “Yes
. Granted, I’m not the greatest catch—”
“Vampires never have casual blood sex with humans.”
“—but he’d probably screw anything with tits and working lungs…huh?”
“Elena,” Gretchen cautioned. “Don’t use the v-word.”
She waved a hand. “Fuck super-secret spy codes. Liese, just to be crystal clear. You’re telling me Logan had sex with you? And during sex he bit you? Not little love-nips, but actual fangs-in-skin drinking?”
“He, um, asked permission first.” I hoped that helped with the evisceration thing.
“Stars above. He asked permission.” Elena’s gaze rolled toward the ceiling, as if the instructions for patience were painted there.
Gretchen shook her head. “Liese, what’s going on with you two?”
“Well…I was hoping you could tell me.” I had come on a mission, and that hadn’t changed. But their reactions had shaken me. “Logan’s been paying me kind of a lot of attention. But he’s such a playboy, I know he couldn’t be interested in me. Not really.”
“Liese, if Logan’s having blood sex with you, interested doesn’t begin to describe his feelings. Fascinated, maybe,” Gretchen said. “Or bewitched.”
“That’s impossible.” Perfect tens weren’t fascinated by five-and-a-halfs.
Elena snorted. “You’re having sex with a mythical monster. I think you went past the bus stop for impossible a few streets ago.”
Gretchen laughed. “Haven’t we all?”
My cheeks heated. “But I don’t trust him. I can’t trust him. He’s lied to me, about a hole at the Blood Center, and about mannequins, and even about what he is. How can I trust him?”
“Oh, Liese.” Elena reached across the table to clasp my hands. “Lying is just the way vampires are built. You’ve got to understand—they’re powerful but vulnerable. To sun, but more, to the sheer mass of humanity. They’ve been underground for centuries, pretending to be human. Secrecy is their watchword. It’s what keeps them alive.”
“It’s ingrained.” Gretchen took a delicate bite of scone. “V-guys have so many secrets, starting with their very existence. As the Ancient One’s first lieutenant, Logan probably has more than most. But he’s probably not lying about his feelings.”
“If lying is ingrained, how can I know that? How can I know how Logan feels about me, really?” Mission disintegrated. I had a sick feeling it was my heart asking the questions now.
Gretchen said, “Sometimes you have to beat the truth out of them.”
Elena laughed. “I remember when I first met Bo. He tried every way he could to keep me from discovering the truth. He even kissed me to distract me.”
I flushed red. Logan’s kisses to shut me up weren’t even original.
“But it’s not personal. Love is rare for them.”
Love. “How can kissing you to shut you up…I mean to distract you from discovering the truth…” I was getting all balled up, so I moved to the punch line. “What does that have to do with love?”
Elena patted my hands and released them. “Just that love requires trust.”
Love and trust. Maybe they weren’t linked for everyone. But for me, yes. And for Logan too? I picked up my cookie, broke off a bit. “I got the impression Logan knows quite a bit about making love.”
“Sex, sure. V-guys are highly sensual creatures with great endurance.”
The cookie crumbled in my fingers. “So Logan’s had a lot of practice. You don’t have to rub it in.”
“He’s had practice making love, yes. Being in love, probably not so much.”
I tossed the crumbs onto my plate in disgust. “Then how do you know it’s not just sex and lies?”
Gretchen said, “You can’t. It’s more recognizable on their side.”
Elena nodded. “They find they can’t control your mind, which makes sense, if you think about it. V-guys can’t bond with someone they totally dominate.”
I thought so. You’re immune.
“Then they find your smell and taste irresistible.” Gretchen popped the last of her scone in her mouth and washed it down with herbal tea.
I thought of Logan, licking me and purring. “And you know this because you’re Bo’s sister-in-law?”
“No. My husband’s one.”
“Steve? But then…how…” I waved helplessly at her heavily distended stomach. A horrible thought hit me. “Or what…?”
“Bo assures us the baby’s entirely human,” Elena said. “But it’s apparently another sign of a match. V-guys can have sex all night long without consequences. But if they even look cross-eyed at the right one, bang.” She made a round gesture across her belly.
“But you and Bo—you’ve been married over four months.” She made it sound like instant mommy. Surely if anyone were a vampire’s mate, it was Elena.
She laughed. “I’m just carrying low.”
“You’re pregnant?”
“Doesn’t show, does it? I’m five months along but I’ve been keeping in shape.” She said it with some satisfaction.
“Whereas I look like I swallowed a watermelon.” Gretchen forked some egg off Elena’s plate. “But it’s not anything to do with working out. It just shows more on my petite frame.”
“You keep telling yourself that, baby sister.” Elena slid her plate away from Gretchen and finally began eating.
“Wait,” I said. “You’re five months gone and you haven’t told anyone?”
Elena chewed efficiently. “It took the first month for me to wrap my head around the idea. I told Nixie and Gretch but thought I’d better wait before telling anyone else. You know, make sure it’s a baby human.”
“Shizzle,” I said. “I feel like I’ve been sucked into an alternate dimension. Like someone made a Farscape plot out of me.”
“You get used to it,” Gretchen said. She tried to sneak some of Elena’s potatoes, got her fork firmly stapled to the table by Elena’s.
“So v-guys can really form, um, emotional attachments to humans?” I asked. “They don’t consider us livestock?”
“The good-guy ones don’t.” Gretchen tried to wiggle her fork free before raising her hands in mock-surrender.
“But the only humans they usually form bonds with are their donors, because of the secrecy thing.” Elena pulled her fork loose and stared at it with disgust, maybe wishing it was her gun. She signaled Diana before continuing. “And for masters, with the members of their household.”
I thought of Zinnia. “And humans they have sex with.”
“No.” Elena pointed her deadly fork at me. “They have sex with anybody and everybody but they only bite humans they have feelings for.”
“Like donors.” Sensuous, beautiful donors.
“For shit’s sake, would you listen? V-guys never confuse donation with blood sex.” Elena underscored the never by stabbing the table next to my fingers with her fork. The tines stuck deep in the thick amber varnish.
I slid my hand away. “But…if they bite and drink during sex…what’s the difference?”
“Do you confuse my offer of a bed for the night with an offer of sex?”
“Oh. No.” The lights suddenly seemed brighter and my appetite returned. I squooshed cookie crumbs with my fingers and slipped them into my mouth. Gooey chocolate and crisp sugar burst on my tongue. I licked my fingers clean.
Diana Prince brought Elena a new set of cutlery and Gretchen another scone. The sisters settled back in companionable silence and I drank hot coffee.
With the infusion of sugar and caffeine, my brain started to work. Logan had rescued me several times. He’d had blood sex with me. He couldn’t control me with his Rasputin voice. And he seemed to go nuts over my smell and taste.
Maybe he wasn’t lying. Maybe he really did think I was beautiful. It was so tempting to believe I put down my fork and imagined it. Pictured golden vampire Logan Steel really loving me. It was a dream come true.
Which was exactly what made it so dangerous. I grabbed the Ring-o
f-False-Promises, tightening my hold until the prongs dented my fingers. Enough. I had to find the wedge, get the info to harden my stupid heart against Logan once and for all. “Speaking of householding, do you know what exactly bothers Logan about it?”
“You know, I wish you’d get rid of that thing.” She nodded at the ring. “I think you’d be happier. And clutching it while asking about Logan…why?”
Whoops. Darned cop’s hair-trigger suspicion. “No connection.” I released the ring. “I’m just pretty good at running projects. I thought maybe I could help Logan out running his new household.”
And hey, that made sense. In fact, it was a pretty good idea. I’d been up for head of ADD’s IT department. And if I could run a blood distribution center, surely a household was no big?
I slid my fork off the table and stabbed myself in the leg. Because obviously I was dreaming again and had better come back from drool-land. Since I was wearing jeans I didn’t actually break skin, but I did wince.
“Liese?” Elena’s eyes narrowed to slits.
“Yes, um, Logan, household, problem? Something I can overcome?”
Elena’s eyes were narrow on me for just a second longer. Then she leaned back and shrugged. “Bo said Logan had a household once but something went wrong. He didn’t say what. Why don’t you ask Logan?”
“Oh, sure. Of course. Should have thought of that in the first place. So, how ’bout them White Sox?” I stuffed cookie in my mouth and smiled.
Chapter Thirteen
After that illuminating chat I knew what I needed to do. I called Logan and asked him to come to my apartment at seven. Then I girded my loins with research (at the Center, but the AI had reduced my job to less than an hour of actual work. I had to at least look busy, right?) and a shopping trip over lunch.
It was six p.m. when I got to my apartment. I had just put my key in the door when it flew open and my mother skipped out in low-rider jeans, a shortie top and a jacket that would have looked skimpy on Zinnia. My eyes flashed down. Nope, no navel-winking stud. But…was that a rose tattoo?
She gave me a quick kiss. “I’m going out.”