by Alisa Mullen
“Are you even going to get dressed?” he asked, surprised as he pulled his finger from the pause button on the player.
“Yes, Conner, what the fuck is it now? Do you want a play by play on a day in the life of Lizzie O’Malley?” I asked.
“No, bitchy, there’s a guy on the phone. Teagan?” He smirked with the phone pushed to his chest. “Do you want me to take a message?” I looked down at my guitar and strummed. Why is he calling me? Jesus, I’m so confused. He was starting to act a little creepy. I just talked to him, and while I was excited that he was obviously interested in me, I couldn’t let myself be consumed by him. I paused and looked up to Conner for an answer. What would he think of this weird summer fling? I almost asked him but furrowed my brow and looked down.
“Yes. Tell him I’ll call in a bit. Please get his number. I forgot it,” I said. I couldn’t remember the number. I guess maybe I didn’t want to remember the number. I squinted at the ceiling, 617-555-1751? 1571? 7151? Fuck it.
I overheard Conner telling Teagan I was busy then it was quiet for a minute. I heard him laugh then he slid a piece of paper under my closed door. “He seems like a nice guy!” he yelled through the door. “I’m off to class. Leave the parents a note…better yet why don’t you fucking call them?”
I rolled my eyes and headed to my closet to get dressed for the day.
Eleven
Little Shifts
Two hours later, the phone rang. I answered it.“Hello?”
“Lizzie, it’s Teagan. Aren’t you coming into the city tonight?” he asked.
“Um. I don’t know. I have some things I need to get done,” I said. I spent the past few hours thinking about this summer fling and strumming my guitar. It was uncharted territory and I was the master of uncharted territory. If I did everything he wanted, I would end up wasting my summer, never trying to reclaim my life back. I was confused about what Teagan really wanted and what I wanted. I came home to make something more of myself. Conner was right about getting my shit together, although I would never tell him that.
I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. I wanted to be more than a party girl. I wanted to get on with my goals in life, although at that moment, I had no idea what those were. I sighed into the phone, feeling so confused and yet so defeated. I couldn’t fail but something in me nagged that I already was failing. I wanted to feel excellent. I was sick of living inside my mind all the time. The strong desire to shove my head under the pillow and drown out the noise of the world no longer felt appealing to me.
“Don’t be a poor sport. The guys and I are waiting for you right now. The Littlest Bar. Come now,” he stated and then hung up.
An hour later, I drove into town and parked at Teagan’s apartment, thankful for an open space. I scurried to Cleveland Circle and took the next available train to Downtown Crossing. As I walked down the beautiful and old pebbled sidewalks, I no longer had apprehension about my tryst with Teagan and the summer to come. After Conner screamed at me, I decided to make some changes. I left a long note to my parents, with Teagan’s number, assuring them of my safety. I felt a sense of relief. I didn’t want to be at home. I didn’t want to be under scrutiny. I didn’t want people that I loved questioning my every move. That’s why I left for Oregon in the first place. But now, I was given the opportunity to do it in the city I adored and with people I hardly knew. Frankly, Wellesley and every other place fell away and I was on my own again. I smiled outwardly because I felt free. I was independent and there was no one to answer to.
The intense feelings for Teagan grew stronger as I stepped into The Littlest Bar. I was taken aback. Teagan wasn’t kidding when he said it was little. It doubled in size to Teagan’s walk in closet and had at least eighty people crammed into it. Gaelic music pounded through a sound system, drowning out the multiple shouts for more beers and loud conversation. There were no televisions and no seats. That place was the equivalent of a cluster fuck. Holy hell.
I like to pride myself in enjoying a good party but this cramped space was overwhelming and I felt an anxiety attack coming on. I lifted my hand to my heart and realized I was being pushed in by people trying to get to the small bar. I stood on my tiptoes, trying to find at least one familiar face. When Teagan looked up to the door in anticipation, his eyes found mine and he gave me the downright sexiest smile ever. I stood still while a shutter passed down into my stomach. He plowed his way through the crowd and handed me a bottled beer. Because it was so loud in the bar, we just looked at each other. The nonverbal conversation was once again intact. We spoke so many words with just our eyes and expressions that I couldn’t wrap my head around them. In that moment, I believed in fate and he was mine. People shoved me from all sides and he noticed. He quickly drew me in front of him, guarding me from the people assaulting me. He threw his head down and yelled, “I’m glad you made it.” I smiled up to him and nodded. His whole demeanor changed in that bar. His first glance at me, when we saw each other, although intense and happy, became something else. I was in his home. He was at peace in this chaos, holding onto my waist. I squeezed his hand that was on my waist and took a long draw of my beer.
“Have I told you that you’re so sexy when you drink like that?” he asked. “And, Jesus, you look amazing. I want to strip you down and lick you everywhere.”
Although I heard him, I couldn’t speak. The last thing I ever expected from a guy was to say my drinking was sexy, and the way my panties just got wet from his words was crazy. I was stunned. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t move. Again, my heart twisted and I felt like this complete stranger knew exactly who I was and accepted me unconditionally. Had I ever craved that kind of praise? Had I ever felt so turned on and so in lust by someone I hardly knew? I shook my head from the thoughts and turned to focus on the ever growing crowd.
Teagan, never loosening his grip on my waist, started laughing and shouting at people around him. I noticed I was only one of five girls in the packed space and quickly understood his wrap on me. He was letting people know I was his. Men were looking at me and Freddie, at the bar, glanced in my direction several times. Once our eyes met, I smiled and he nodded slowly. He glanced down at Teagan’s hands around my waist then went back to talking to the bartender, an older, gray-haired Irishman behind the bar. Thick accents enveloped me as I felt myself being swept away in this foreign place only steps away from the familiar city I knew so well. Except tonight, I didn’t know my surroundings at all. For once in a long time, I honestly didn’t give a shit.
“Teagan? I want a shot,” I yelled.
He smiled down at me and we made our way to the bar where we proceeded to down multiple shots of whiskey.
Hours later, Teagan and I left The Littlest Bar and headed to the T. Initially, I objected because I was having a great time but in no uncertain terms, Teagan whispered that the night was not over. As we stumbled to the T, Teagan put his arms underneath me to keep me straight as we walked over the cobblestone street to the Boston Common station. His hold never faltered even as we passed the turnstile and rushed to get on the next train. Although there were open seats, we held onto the bars as we looked into each other’s eyes. He dipped his head into my hair and started kissing the back of my neck. Then his lips were on mine and as I stood there, swaying side to side with the train, his tongue plunged into my mouth, and we devoured each other during the ten stops to Cleveland Circle station. We didn’t even notice we got there until the automatic woman’s voice came on and announced the stop. Immediately, we tore apart and ran to the doors just before they started to close.
Back in the apartment, we skipped the pleasantries to his roommates and immediately headed to his bedroom. He took off his tie and dipped back on his bed, face up. When I started to him, he put his hands up, halting me.
His stormy eyes looked up to me and quietly, he said, “Lizzie, will you please strip for me? I want you so bad. For days, I’ve dreamt and thought of you doing this for me.”
I smiled and lift
ed my shirt. I slowly removed my bra and, when I had removed my pants, I stood there with my underwear still in place.
“You have to finish the rest,” I said.
He crooked his finger and we immediately started on each other’s mouths, just as we had on the train. His fingers led up and down my back and he swore.
“I want you, Teagan,” I whispered over his lips.
He immediately twisted me off him and took control. He held his body over mine and stared me up and down before pulling a condom from underneath his pillow.
As I smiled up to his determined face, he looked impatient but sheepish. “I want to do this so bad. I won’t be good the first time. I’ve wanted you since the very first night, so I have to apologize before we do this,” Teagan said.
I put my hand on the side of his face and gave him a quick nod of approval. Within minutes, he had kissed every part of my body, like he had promised at the bar, and slowly slipped himself into me. Both of us gasped when he was completely inside of me then he looked down into my eyes to make sure I was okay. I smiled and he rolled himself out of me. I closed my eyes and he rocked back into me a bit more aggressively as he reminded me how sexy I was and how nothing had ever felt so wonderful in his life. I said nothing. I just felt the rocking and moaning and the swirling air around me that took me to another exhilarating place.
After we reached our climaxes, we were both panting so hard we couldn’t even speak. We lay there in the dark and cuddled up to each other. As we got our breath back, he whispered to me, “Lizzie.”
“Yes?” I asked.
“I want this every night. I want this every night with you until I have to go back home. I know you have other obligations, but I have a key for you and I want you here every night, with me, in my arms,” Teagan said in his thick Irish accent with a shining delight in his eyes.
“Umm…okay, Teagan, but where is Cian going to be?” I asked. Of course, I would sleep wherever Teagan wanted me to. I let go of Conner and the expectations from my family and stepped into the Ireland of Boston. Teagan was fun and he paid for all our drinks and the sex was amazing. In just a few days, we knew each other’s bodies like old lovers. He could be sensual one moment and then he became a desperate animal. I didn’t want anything other than that. No strings attached, pseudo relationships might look pretty damn good on me. The summer would be all about being. Living in the moment and enjoying the ride.
“Ah, Cian. Yes, well, we can make a bed up in the closet,” Teagan laughed.
I dropped my head on my elbow as I shook my head at him and smiled.
“Teagan, I enjoy you. I enjoy being in your world. My world has been, well, turned upside down and everyone takes me so seriously. But when I’m with you, that all falls away and I feel safe. I feel like a whole different person. Maybe you bring out the real person in me because I haven’t laughed more with another guy in my life. I haven’t been held like this by anyone. You’re temporary, I know, but I’m okay with that. It’s just fun, and I’ll go on this ride with you until it stops,” I said with excitement.
“Do I satisfy you, Lizzie? In the bed, I mean?” Teagan asked.
I laughed. “There are a lot of things we can experiment with, Teagan. I have no problem with that department. You and I have chemistry. Right from the beginning, I felt a connection to you. The sex is, well, just a bonus. I love being in your arms, you being inside me. Somehow, in some strange way, it just completes our bond. Does that make sense?”
Teagan nodded, smiled at me, and brushed his hand along my face. I leaned back into him, and as our breaths started to even, all I thought about was the beating of my heart and how nothing could feel more perfect than that moment.
Twelve
Shots
Two weeks later, I had literally moved in with Teagan, Cian, Freddie, Kellan and Aidan. Most of my clothes were now in the walk-in closet and the textbook I was attempting to read lay beside Teagan’s bed. The guys seemed happy to have me around because I was a female, after all. I washed up after meals and cleaned up after parties. I thought it was a far better way to pay rent than with money. Besides, when I tried to give Teagan rent money, he was insulted so I didn’t push too hard. Apart from showing off every morning with eggs and coffee, I always had the beers stocked and ready for them when they came home.
The weekends were my favorite times. Every Saturday, we headed to the park near their apartment, where I was engrossed in their hurling practices. I still didn’t understand how the game was played, but hell, there were a lot of sexy, sweaty guys, whose shirts may or may not come off, depending on the temperature. From behind my sunglasses, I not only appreciated my Irish boy toy, but the rest of the beautiful scenery. The scrimmages were intensified by their determination, choice words in their thick accents, and the occasional mud that spread across their sexy chests. Most times, I sat and worked on homework, and since I had blown off the interview that Wednesday due to the worst hangover ever, I decided my lot in the present time was to be their American token female. Most people would label me their bitch, too, but I didn’t really mind. The fun outweighed the chores by far.
There were hardly ever other women at the apartment but when they did come over, the guys included me as a roommate, always pointing out that I was Teagan’s girl. Teagan never protested that label and his eyes never strayed far from me. Even when we were across the room from each other, we spoke with our eyes. We could hold hour long conversations about what we wanted to do to each other’s bodies that night. His hands, his lips, and his body became like my second skin and it was amazing. The only problem with the living situation is that I was discomforted by Freddie. He was weird around me. He and I never got past hello and goodbye. I often wondered if I was especially intruding on his space. When I mentioned my concerns to Teagan, he immediately discounted my thoughts. He said Freddie was a private guy and I shouldn’t worry so much. The discomfort level shifted one Saturday when Freddie got hurt in the shin at a practice and was sent to the sidelines.
Instead of sitting with his team, he came over to the blanket I brought out and sat next to me without saying a word. Immediately, tension coursed over me. I couldn’t figure out what to do. Part of me wanted to bolt to the apartment. Part of me wondered if he came to my blanket for a reason. I decided to wait it out, trying to read my book. Finally, I was going to jump out of my skin if one of us didn’t say something.
“Hey, Freddie,” I said with a concerned look. “Feeling okay?”
“Ah, yeah. No problems. My head wasn’t really in the game today. I probably drank a little too much last night.” He smiled.
“I’m there with you. I have a killer hangover. This morning, I was forced to have a little hair of the dog that bit me. Except, I’m not sure what type of dog bit me, so I had to sample quite a few drinks this morning to get it just right.” I laughed.
“So what are you up to tonight? I heard that Teagan is going out.” he asked.
“Huh? Aren’t we all going out?” I asked.
“Yeah, well, no. Teagan has some business thing tonight. He didn’t tell you about it?” he asked with a slight grin on his face.
“No,” I said with a frown. “I guess I’ll just head back to my house for a quiet night.” I shrugged my shoulders and acted like I didn’t care. But, fuck, I really did care. Teagan and I were inseparable. Besides, Teagan always told me what was planned for us every evening. Maybe he had told me and it slipped my mind.
“Jesus, the guys and I can’t get him to stop talking about it. I guess it has something to do with him getting a job in Ireland when he gets back home. I’m really surprised he didn’t say anything,” he said before chugging an orange Gatorade.
“Hmmm,” I murmured nonchalantly, looking back down at the paperback of Pride and Prejudice. I mentally ignored the image of Teagan having a job anywhere but Boston and his upcoming return to Ireland. The looming date of his departure started to bring dread into my heart. Maybe I’m getting in way too deep with Te
agan if I already hurt that much when I thought of his leaving. There was no sense in getting upset with something I couldn’t control.
“Do you want to go out with me and a few of my other friends in town? Today is actually my birthday,” Freddie said.
“Freddie! Your birthday? Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. I shouldn’t have been surprised because he actually hadn’t spoken more than two words to me since the first night we met. I immediately threw down my book, wrapped my arms around him, and gave him a smacking kiss to his face. He flinched.
“It isn’t a big deal, but it would be fun if you came along,” he said and shrugged.
“That would be fabulous, but first, I have to go out and buy something special for your big day!” I said as I pushed away from him and started to collect my things. Dad’s allowance was still going in weekly so I knew I had enough for a fantastic present.
“Lizzie! It really isn’t that way. Please don’t make it a big deal. It is just a few friends. No need to go out and get presents,” he protested.
“Too bad, Freddie,” I said as I thumbed my nose at him. Freddie got up and started to chase after me as I ran down the street, laughing. After slowing down, I side kicked him on the ass and he wrapped his sweaty arm around my shoulder as we walked the five blocks back down to the guy’s apartment. When we made it to the steps, I watched him walk inside and smiled.
“What time do I need to be back for the night?” I asked as I looked at my watch.
“We’ll be ready to leave at six. Dinner first, then the club.”
“Okay! I’m off to find my second most favorite Irishmen the best American birthday gift in the history of mankind,” I said as I headed off to my car.
“Lizzie,” he called after me.
“Yes?” I asked.
“What should we tell Teagan? I mean, we just left him without a word. You didn’t even say goodbye,” he said.