by Alisa Mullen
“Lizzie, will you please leave with me now? We need to talk,” Teagan said.
“Teag, what’s going on up there?” I said as I pointed to his head. “I slept in your bed last night and have for the last three weeks. You and I are inseparable when you aren’t at work and when I’m not at school. I know I wasn’t with you today, but Freddie and I are just friends. We have been friends from the beginning, and while I might have flirted and danced with him, I was not a conniving slut. I would never kiss Freddie. We were just having a good time. We drank a lot of Crown Royal and we were trashed before we even got here. So, I’m sorry if you think you saw something that wasn’t actually happening, but nothing was happening. It’s in your head. You and I have this arrangement for the summer, and I’m not interested in pursuing anyone else sexually,” I said decisively.
Teagan sighed and looked at me with resignation.
“I don’t want to leave. I’m having a really good time. I think it would be rude to Freddie if I just left. I didn’t say a word to him and I haven’t paid for my part of the meal. Shit, I even ordered him this piece of cake!” I said, mustering up some enthusiasm.
Teagan released his intense gaze on me, sat back, and rested his head on the back of the booth. He picked up one of the full glasses of beer on the table and drank it down. After sitting there for a minute, he looked over at me and smiled. He turned his gaze to my legs, because, of course, my skirt was once again hiked up. Anyone looking hard enough would be able to see my cotton white undies. God, I love cotton white undies on summer nights. Teagan slid his warm hand over my knee and up to the hem of my skirt. I looked at him with mock surprise and wrapped my arms around his neck. After giving him a big fat smooch on the lips, I looked up to see Freddie across the table from me, eating the chocolate cake even though the unlit candle remained in the middle of it and no one had sung Happy Birthday. I didn’t even realize he had come back to the booth. None of us touched our dinners. It was uncomfortable. When Freddie looked up at me, his eyes were blazing. Passion? No. Anger? No. It was something else. His gaze stung me and I gave him a slight smile. He was trying to say something to me telepathically about Teagan as his eyes flicked over to Teagan. Maybe he was upset that Teagan had showed up at all. Did I mention to Freddie that Teagan might show up?
Freddie and I were having such a great time and now I felt the heavy weight of a man’s jealousy on my shoulders. This was clearly not a summer moment of fun. Freddie pursed his lips together and looked back down at the cake. I sat there looking between Teagan and Freddie, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do next. I decided to look anywhere but at the two guys in the booth. Everyone around us was having a great time and I was being sucked into a crappy evening.
After several minutes, the waitress came by and Teagan threw his credit card on the table to pay for the meal, even though he wasn’t invited and no one had actually eaten. Well, shit. I grabbed the waitresses’ attention and order three shots and handed her my card. Teagan waved my card away and told the waitress to put it on the rest of the bill. The tension between Teagan and Freddie was palpable and I hated it.
The waitress came back with the three shots. I needed to lighten the mood and bring back some of the summer sparkle into the night. I took my shot and placed the other two in front of Teagan and Freddie.
“Okay guys, bottoms up. Cheers to birthdays and Irishmen!” I saluted.
They both gave me tight smiles and took down their shots. Freddie slammed his glass down on the table and I jumped. Teagan eyed him with curiosity. I winced at their obvious testosterone battle. Ugh. This was a disaster.
Teagan leaned over and whispered with a plead in his tone, “Lizzie, if we can’t go home, will you at least come out to the sidewalk and talk to me for a few minutes?”
I rolled my eyes towards the wall and nodded my head.
“Freddie, we’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere. You and I have another half of Crown Royal to drink tonight,” I said with a wry smile.
Freddie smiled and nodded up to me as I started out of the booth. He leaned back and eyed Teagan’s hold on my hand.
When we made it to the outside sidewalk, I eyed Teagan, trying to gauge his mood. His serious demeanor was frustrating. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him.
“I’m listening,” I said.
He ran his hand over the top of his hair and shifted on his feet.
“Lizzie, I think Freddie might be more into you than you think. I’m not interested in sharing your time with him. I know I had a dinner tonight but I never planned to leave you all night. I told you I wanted us to be together every day this summer. Why the hell are you here? Are you interested in Freddie?” he asked angrily.
“No!” I said incredulously.
He sighed, knowing that my outburst had to be the truth. I took his face in my hands and smiled at him.
“Teag, I’m just having fun. You had business and I understand that. Freddie realized I didn’t have plans and invited me along. Now I’m being incredibly rude. Teagan, I’m your girl. Well, your girl for the summer,” I said with a cringe. “But, babe, I’m hanging out with Freddie tonight,” I said, pointing to the door. “So, if you want to hang out with me tonight, you are going to have to come back in and hang out with the both of us.”
“Fuck that,” he said.
“Fine, then go home and I’ll meet you there by midnight,” I said. I turned around and headed back into Joe’s to continue Freddie’s special night.
“Lizzie!” Teagan shouted. I turned around impatiently, but smiled when I saw he looked more relaxed.
“Lizzie, I’m going to The Littlest Bar to catch up with Cian,” he said. “I’ll either see you back here or at the apartment. If you need anything, just come find me, okay?”
I nodded and turned around to head into the restaurant.
When I got back to the table, all the guys were there talking and laughing. Freddie looked up to me with surprise then glanced behind me to see if Teagan was with me. I nodded at him and slid into the booth caddy corner to him. He studied my face, starting with my lips then flashed up to my eyes.
“Um, guys. I have to take off,” Freddie said. “I told some friends I would meet them for drinks. I’ll catch up with you soon.”
After the guy sitting next to him got up, Freddie slid out. He held out his hand to me and I took it. He led me out the door and we walked several blocks away before he turned to me. He smiled.
“Want to finish the rest of that bottle?” he asked deviously. His eyes were so hopeful that I melted into his eagerness.
“It’s your birthday night, Freddie. Whatever you want to do is up to you.” I exclaimed.
We didn’t talk about Teagan or what Freddie had said to me on the dance floor. He didn’t try to move close but he was close enough for us to have an intimate conversation. I asked him about his college experience and if he had a lot of friends back home. He was most excited to talk about his family and described every sibling in detail. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that in one night, I knew more about Freddie than I did about Teagan after sharing his bed for three weeks. I didn’t even know the names of Teagan’s brothers, and wasn’t sure if he had a sister. I tucked that away to ask him later. I felt bad that I hadn’t even asked. Teagan knew way more about me than I did of him, and somehow that put a little knot in my chest.
“Lizzie?” he said, drawing me out of my thoughts. “We’re here.” He pulled my hand into his. There was no spark in our hand holding. There was no surge of passion like I had with Teagan. I looked at him as we walked to the apartment and wondered what would have happened if I had chosen him or if he did kiss me, like Teagan had assumed he was going to. No. He was a nice, attractive guy who I only saw as a friend. Yes, he may have the warmth and charm of a gentleman, but there was something so mysterious and untouchable about Teagan that sent shivers up my spine. Teagan was a little possessive and a whole lot in sync with my sexual desires. He
put all his attention on me and never let me feel inadequate, until tonight.
Fourteen
Oops
Freddie and I stumbled into the dark apartment and I instantly went to the closet to grab the bottle and my guitar. When I went out to the living room, it was dark and Freddie was nowhere to be found. I turned to walk back down the hallway and he was standing just inside his door with his flexed arms holding the top of the door frame. He smiled and I noticed that he had put on some music.
“Let’s listen to some of my music and see if you can play those songs,” he said teasingly.
“Now that sounds like a dare,” I said with amusement.
We sat down on the floor with our backs against his bed. He pulled out the two shot glasses and reached for the bottle. As we downed our shots, the warmth crept into my belly once more and we both turned and smiled at each other.
I pointed at his CD player and gave him a questioning look.
“Pure Gaelic music. Do you know how to dance to this?” he asked.
“Nah. I’m not sure I could keep up with the tempo,” I said.
“C’mon. Let’s give it a try. I’ll lead,” he said, standing and taking my hand.
Immediately, he had me bouncing through the room with fierce strides and all I could do was hold on. The room was spinning and I stumbled over my feet several times. We laughed and finally crashed to the floor. Ugh. I drank way too much. As I looked up to the ceiling, Freddie went and replaced the music with some Red Hot Chili Peppers. He grabbed two more shots and I sat up long enough to toss one back.
He lay next to me and we talked more about my family, my trip to Oregon, and eventually we were so piss drunk that all we did was laugh. When I looked up to see the bottle, it was empty. I immediately frowned.
“Oh no! It’s all gone. Your birthday present is all gone,” I said with a whiny voice.
“It’s okay. I’ll keep the bottle and the bag and always remember this birthday to be one of my favorites,” he said with his arm propped up to look at me. He was so serious. I instantly froze. Was he really going to kiss me? I was so incredibly uncomfortable that I instantly looked back up at the ceiling and snorted really loud.
“Yeah, this was the best birthday evah!” I yelled with a fist pump.
We laughed so hard, I was crying. Rolling around on the ground, trying to stop laughing, we were interrupted with a huge clearing of a throat and an audible groan.
“Well, it looks like you guys finished that bottle,” Teagan said from the doorway.
“Sorry, baby, we should have saved you some,” I said as he came forward, pulling me to my feet. I was swaying and smiling at him. “Did you find Cian? How was your night? Did you get your drink on?”
“Oh yeah. Let’s head to bed, okay?” he said. “Tomorrow, we’re heading out to a real hurling match and we need some sleep.”
“Okay. Bye, Freddie. Sweet dreams, birthday boy.” As I looked back at him, his face looked solemn and he waved slightly. I sighed and was resigned that I did everything in my power to be a part of his great night. But instantly, I was entranced by Teagan and spending more time with him. Even though we only saw each other a few hours ago, I felt like it had been days since he touched me. I needed his touch. I needed the safety that surrounded me when he was with me. I needed him. And while I continued to tell myself this was a summer fling, I felt more and more for him every day. It was impossible not to. Deeply. I was starting to think I was in a little too deep. I wanted what I had with Freddie. I wanted to just be flirty with Teagan then have sex, of course. I wanted to go back to just days ago when we were carefree and not at all demanding. But tonight changed something in me. The way he was so possessive and mindful of my every move, the look of seriousness on his face. He felt more. I could see it. And maybe I thought I did, too. Fuck.
Teagan closed his door and told me that Cian had left to party with some of his other friends and wouldn’t be back.
“We get to stay in the real bed tonight?” I asked excitedly.
He smiled and started for my clothes. I sighed then pulled off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants. While all of our clothes lay around us, we stood there looking at each other with electric warmth blazing between us. I touched his bare chest and moved my hand lower to find that he was ready for me. We instantly plunged for each other’s mouths and didn’t stop until I was flat on my back with him caressing every part of my body. He was powerful. He was forceful. The determined look in his eyes clearly said I was his. It was exhilarating, and I felt intoxicated on Teagan. No longer was I drunk by alcohol but his dynamic touches and the need to be complete with him. Wow. This was amazing. Fucking amazing.
He reached for a condom, and as we synced up, his kisses were all over my neck while he whispered how much he needed me, needed this. Before I could think, he completely took over. I just laid there as he plunged into me, our connection growing stronger with every thrust. When he finally stiffened and yelled out my name, I laid there completely wrecked. It was a whole new Teagan, one I had never seen before. And damn if it wasn’t hot.
After several minutes of kissing my face, he withdrew and turned away to take care of the condom. I waited for him to come back. He looked down at himself and turned to me with alarm in his eyes. He looked distraught and I immediately sat up. I could feel it then. I scrambled to my feet and without caring one bit about my clothes, I ran to the bathroom and took the full, broken condom out of myself, trying to purge everything. I got wash clothes and water and peed. I showered and tried to extricate everything from inside me. I heard the door open and Teagan came in with only his boxers on.
As I brought the shower to a stop, I leaned out to grab a towel and he immediately grasped for it, getting into the shower with me. He dried every part of my body and kissed my wet hair. He whispered that everything was okay and he was sorry for being so forceful. I looked at him with a tear running down my face then smiled. “Oops,” I said softly. “It’s okay, Teag. We’re good.” Rationale hit me like a brick and I was uneasy. I don’t know if it was from the sex or the condom breaking, but I never felt as dubious of anything in my life.
We headed back to bed and he put one of his tee shirts over me before we lay down, cradling each other until we silently fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up to kisses being trailed down my bare neck. When I opened my eyes, I saw Teagan’s head dipped towards the collar of my shirt. I sighed.
He looked up at me with adoration and whispered, “Morning.”
“Hey. What time is it?” I asked. My head felt like someone had pumped it full of helium and it was about to pop. My mouth felt gross and my breath had to be awful since all I could smell was liquor.
“Dunno,” he said as he continued to kiss my neck.
I looked over his shoulder to the window to gauge how high the sun was. It was up and it was blazing. It had to be almost noon. I popped my head up and groaned. God damn it. I threw myself back on the pillow. As I looked around the room, I noticed Cian was in his bed fast asleep.
I gave Teagan a questioning look as I rolled my eyes over towards Cian’s side of the room. We never slept together when he was home, always opting to either snuggle on the couch or take the walk in closet on our sleep pad. Teagan shrugged and I smiled up at him.
“Hey, Teag? I have to talk to you about next weekend. An old friend is getting married up at Peak’s Island in Maine and I have to go. I RSVP’ed before I met you and, well, I was planning on asking my friend, Shannon, to come with me. So, I won’t be around from Friday until Sunday,” I said, questioning his response after last night’s debacle.
“I would like to go with you. When do we leave?” he asked with a knowing smile.
“Umm. Well, what time can you get off work on Friday? Summertime traffic up 95 is a bitch so I would like to leave earlier than later. The ferry runs all night but it really is a popular time of the year. It’s tourist season,” I said.
“I can see if they’ll let me o
ut at lunch.” he offered.
“Perfect.” I threw my arms around him and kissed his neck. “When is the hurling game today? We need a little hair of the dog if I’m going to sit through the blazing sun.”
He grimaced at my announcement that I was terribly hung-over and said we would be picked up in an hour.
We showered together, washing each other’s hair and smiling at each other when we brushed our teeth. When I walked out the door in a flowery sundress, Freddie almost ran into me. He looked like he had also just woken up. He gave a curt nod and headed into the bathroom. I stood there, stunned at his blatant attempt to avoid me. We had such a great night together and now it felt like there was an ice wall between us with that simple acknowledgement of my presence. I didn’t know that would be the last time I saw Freddie until a week before the boys left for Ireland.
Fifteen
Hurl
When we made it to the game, we were already late. Of course, there was a pub on the sidelines so Teagan and I headed in alone and sat at a table for two. He watched the game from the window while I checked out the rest of the pub. There were hardly any women and I felt completely out of place. It was like Ireland suddenly transported itself to a place in Boston. So many of the patrons had thick Irish accents, like Teagan, but I could tell they weren’t from the same location in Ireland. I recalled how everyone commented on my accent in Oregon at first.
I looked at Teagan and saw him smiling out the window. I relaxed back into my chair, and as I sipped my beer, I took in his rugby shirt and the fine lines of his face. He was at peace. I saw joy. I stared at him for a long moment, and when he glanced up, I looked at him questioningly.
“What is it, babe?” he asked.
“I want to know if you have a large family. I mean, I know you talk to your mom every week and I think I’ve heard you talk to your sister, but how many kids are in your family?” I asked.