by Tia Wylder
The idea that another man had touched her soft and tender flesh, that someone else had lay with her, sent unwelcome shudders down his spine. It seemed unfathomable, but the very proof lay before him, tugging at his mother’s sleeve as she stared holes through Paul’s head.
“Dad, what’s wrong?” James asked nervously, pausing at his father’s side. Paul hesitated, releasing his son’s hand and averting his eyes from the scrutineers gaze of his new neighbor. If the look in her eye was any indication, she had no trouble placing his face. It explained the suddenly sour expression that turned her lips downward, and her eyes away from the two of them.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just think I’m going to sit this one out. Go introduce yourself to the neighbors. I have to put the mower up and finish tidying up out here,” Paul explained, somewhat dismissively. It was clear that the young boy didn’t quite believe him, and he was relieved when his young son didn’t press the issue.
“Alright,” James muttered uncertainly, remaining a moment longer before sprinting across the yard. Paul could only hope that Kelly wouldn’t hold his actions against his son, but she simply smiled brightly as the boy stepped between the two yards. James thrust his hand out, and she laughed loudly before gripping it firmly in her own. The sound was musical, even from a distance. Paul longed to reach out to her and make things right, but knew that now was the absolute worst time to bring up his previous transgressions.
Busying himself with pretending to clean the yard, he watched the interactions between his old fling, her son, and his own. The boys seemed to be striking it off well from the start, laughing and tossing around a ball that the younger of the boys had grabbed off of the moving truck. Kelly excused herself, glancing towards him where he stood awkwardly poised with a hose in his hand. She narrowed her eyes, calling out to the boys that she was going to fetch some ice water for the two of them.
Paul couldn’t deny the obvious ache in his heart, the pain of knowing he had caused an irreparable gap between himself and the woman he had felt so strongly for. Was she waiting for her husband to come pulling up in the yard, eager to flaunt her new life in the face of the man who had left her behind? As much as Paul wanted to curse her for letting someone else touch her, he knew he hardly had any business dictating who she spent her time with. Exhaling a sigh, he glanced up as his housekeeper stepped out of his home and offered him a small smile.
“You’re not going to introduce yourself to the new neighbors, Mr. Stalone? I’m sure they’d be happy to know they have a serviceman keeping their neighborhood safe,” she said with a kind smile. Paul chuckled humorlessly, brushing his hair away from his ocean blue eyes. His housekeeper was an older woman who had scarcely known English when he’d last seen her. She seemed to have a rather impeccable grasp on the language now, but he supposed that was just one of many things that had changed in his absence.
“I’ll make a point to stop by later this evening. You should have warned me, Roberta, I would have properly prepared a pie or something,” he chuckled, eyes widening as the housekeeper smiled with barely contained delight.
“Oh, I was hoping you would say something like that! I made an apple pie for you to take next door, and it’ll be much more delicious if it’s served warm. I’m sure they’ve had a long drive,” Roberta announced cheerfully, slipping back into the house. Paul resisted the desire to groan, glancing into the neighboring yard where the two boys still seemed to be having a blast playing catch.
Kelly stepped back out the front door, a pitcher of ice water in one hand, and a tray with two glasses balanced on her other palm. The boys rushed towards her, each of them taking a glass and gulping down the water as soon as it was poured. He felt like an outsider intruding on a moment even though it was his own son interacting with the new neighbors.
The scent of apple pie wafted under his nose, and his stomach grumbled hungrily. He glanced towards Roberta, tempted to sneak the pie back inside and enjoy it alone. She seemed vaguely aware of his intent, pushing the pie into his hands and gesturing towards the next yard over.
“You can tell them that you made it, if you would like. I doubt they would care to know your silly housekeeper,” she said, self-deprecatingly, and Paul frowned, reaching out to take her by the arm.
“Don’t be silly, Roberta. I’m sure they’ll be just as pleased to meet you as they’ll be to meet me,” he assured her, though he was more certain that they would be more eager to meet the housekeeper than the man who had broken Kelly’s heart all those years ago. Roberta seemed pleased to be included, just as well, so the two of them began to cross Paul’s lawn. Kelly looked up as the two approached, her expression reproachful. It shifted into a much kinder one, however, as Roberta rushed forward and held her arms out to the taller woman.
“Hello, hello. I’m Roberta Estavez, I work for your neighbor, Mr. Paul Stalone,” she said cheerfully, and Kelly chuckled before pulling the older woman in for a brief hug. “Oh, and here I thought I was the only one who hugged as a greeting,” Roberta said with a bright grin. Paul awkwardly lingered behind his housekeeper, keeping the pie gripped in his hands.
“It’s nice to meet you, Roberta. And… Paul, it’s a surprise seeing you here,” Kelly said, carefully. It was obvious she didn’t plan to lie and say she was happy to see him, but he wasn’t particularly surprised by that. He simply clung to the pie, smiling nervously as the boys tumbled towards them.
“Dad! Dad! This is Jeffrey. He just turned six, and he’s never had any other guys to play with either!” James announced, wrapping an arm around the younger boy’s shoulder and smiling brightly. Paul considered Jeffrey with a torn expression, not sure how to address the boy. He had kind blue eyes, and hair as dark as his mother’s. Truthfully, Paul saw a bit of himself in the boy. He was clearly nervous to meet the navy seal, and in spite of the man’s regrets regarding how he’d treated Kelly, he wasn’t going to punish her kid for it.
“Hey there, Jeff. I’m Mr. Stalone, but you can call me Paul. It’s nice to meet you. James has always been eager to make a friend in the neighborhood, so I’m sure the two of you will get along just fine,” he said with a faint smile. Jeffrey seemed somewhat flustered, wringing his hands uncomfortably. It was obvious that he wasn’t used to being around people besides his mother, and Paul was beginning to doubt his initial theory that a father figure would be pulling in the driveway any time soon.
“H-hello. James has been very nice, a-and… I’ve always wanted another boy to play with. It’s always just been me and mom,” he trailed off, chuckling awkwardly.
“And your mommy wouldn’t have it any other way,” Kelly crooned, reaching down to pinch her son’s cheek. He squawked, batting her hands away. She smiled to herself, glancing towards Paul with her lip drawn between her teeth.
“Mr. Stalone, the pie,” Roberta hissed urgently, and Paul laughed awkwardly before offering the dessert to his old lover turned new neighbor. She accepted it reluctantly, their eyes meeting for a brief moment. It felt like electric shocks were jolting through Paul’s body as soon as they locked eyes, and Kelly cleared her throat before glancing away.
“Thank you. I, uh… I’m sure it will be interesting, being neighbors. I’m glad that Jeffrey has a friend in your son,” she said, haltingly. The tension in the air could have been sliced straight through with a knife, and as Paul struggled to find the words to explain himself and how sorry he was, Kelly took her son by the arm and guided him towards the door. “You boys can play more tomorrow. It was nice to meet you James, but we need to get settled in for a bit. You’re welcome to come over anytime,” she smiled.
Though it went unsaid, Paul was rather sure the invitation wasn’t extended to him. He simply stared at the woman as she slipped into her house, swallowing a despairing sigh that threatened to spill past his lips.
He wouldn’t cause a scene in front of their children. He fully intended to speak to Kelly however, whether she wanted to or not.
Chapter Two
Dinner w
as spent with James rambling ecstatically about his new friend, not that Paul could blame him. The young boy had never had many other boys to play with, only his father and mother. He knew that James had a little ‘girlfriend’ at his mother’s house, but he spoke dismissively of the young girl, saying she was annoying. As much as the navy seal hated to think it, he saw something of himself in his son. He could attribute much of it to his son’s youth, but he also acknowledged that his dismissal of the fairer sex could prove problematic in the long run. Paul planned to make certain that his son never used women in the way he had. While the navy seal had never outright abused a woman, he was just barely a step up from his abusive father. While he couldn’t speak for his mother, who was too doped up to care about his father’s actions, he wanted his son to have a better life.
“Dad, you look like something’s bothering you. You don’t feel left out, with me hanging out with Jeffrey and stuff, do you?” James inquired softly, tearing Paul from his thoughts. Paul managed a weak chuckle, stabbing his cut of steak with a fork. He swiped it through a pile of steak sauce, bringing the dripping mess of a bite to his lips. He chewed slowly, pensively, as if trying to figure out how to properly explain himself to his son. He couldn’t very well explain that he’d had a brief fling with the next door neighbor, so many years ago. “Is it because of Miss Carpenter? You two seem sorta… awkward around each other. Do you know her?” James continued, picking idly at the skin of his baked potato.
“You know how complicated things can be, son,” Paul muttered after swallowing, the food catching in his throat for a brief moment. He coughed, clearing his throat loudly. “Miss Carpenter… Kelly and I go a way back, and as much as I’d like to say I’ve always been the perfect gentleman, I think we both know that’s not quite true,” Paul managed, his voice scratchy from where he’d struggled to swallow his food. James considered his father with a pensive expression, setting his fork down and propping his elbows on the table. Paul knew the boy’s mother would chastise him for such actions, but he took a much less strict role in his parenting. He simply propped his elbows up as well, resting his chin in his palm as he and his son scrutinized each other for a long moment.
“You should make things right with her, Dad. Jeffrey said… well, he doesn’t really know who his dad is. Miss Carpenter doesn’t have a husband, or even someone she’s dated for as long as he can remember. Maybe she could use a bit of company,” James offered carefully, looking amused by the flustered look on his father’s face.
“It’s not always that easy, son. As much as I wish it were, even if I were to approach Kelly and apologize for the missteps I’ve made in our relationship…friendship, pardon, friendship… there’s no guarantee she would forgive me. If anything, I could make things worse. I don’t want to ruin your friendship with Jeffrey, and it certainly seems like the kid could use a friend like you,” Paul said, cautiously. James hummed under his breath, tapping his foot on the tile underneath the table.
“You don’t have to be her boyfriend, Dad. Just be her friend. If Jeffrey could use a friend like me, what makes you think Miss Carpenter couldn’t use a friend like you?” The boy suggested, sagely. Paul hesitated, continuing to idly pick at his food for a moment longer. “Come on. You guys could really make up, and then it wouldn’t be so awkward for me and Jeff to hang out. If anything, we can only go up from here,” James said, cheerfully. Though Paul was less certain of the assertion, he simply smiled and nodded his head.
“Alright. I’ll go talk to her. Just don’t expect us to mend our burned bridges overnight. She has every reason in the world to be upset with me, and while I can’t exactly go into the details with you, it’s going to be difficult to recover from,” the father mused aloud. James simply smirked, pushing away from the table and cleaning up his dishes. Roberta quickly ushered him away from the table, thanking him for the help but insisting that it was entirely unnecessary.
“Mr. Stalone, if I may… your son has a point. I have a sneaking suspicion about your past with this woman, but you are a good man at heart. You left a lot behind when you joined active service, but now that you’re home for a time, there is plenty of opportunity to make things right,” Roberta said carefully, taking the navy seal’s dishes as well and slipping towards the sink to wash them. Paul considered her for a long moment, leaning back in his chair until he nearly toppled backwards. He lurched forward with a clunk, the legs of his chair banging against the floor unpleasantly. He pushed away from the table, glancing towards the clock and trying to judge whether it was too late to pay an impromptu visit to his new neighbor. Considering the depth of the conversation they would be exchanging, he could only wonder if there would be any potential good time to discuss it.
Deciding that the best thing he could do is grin and bear it, he bid a quiet goodbye to Roberta and paused at the doorway as his son watched from the couch. James grinned a toothy little smile, shooting his father two thumbs up.
“You got this, Dad. Just try to make things right. That’s all you have to do,” the young boy announced, excitedly. While Paul had his doubts about how easy it would be to make things right, he knew that he owed everyone involved a fighting chance. He slipped through the front door, the night chill causing little goosebumps to pop up along the exposed skin of his arms. While it never got particularly cold in his hometown, he was used to the warm sunshine of the day. The sun had long since set beyond the horizon as he strode across his yard, hesitating once he met the edge of his new neighbor’s lawn. He rocked back on his heels, debating turning back and trying another day. His conscience wouldn’t let him give up so easily, however. He had a plan, and a point to make. He had to prove that he wasn’t the sleazy guy that he used to be. Being in the service had changed him, and while abruptly leaving with nary a word to his loved ones wasn’t a good idea, he knew he had only grown from there.
Steeling himself and preparing that familiar mask that he adorned whenever he entered an uncertain situation, he stepped up the walkway to the door. The concrete thumped heavily under his combat boots, boots he’d yet to break the habit of slipping into every morning. His heart pounded almost painfully in his chest, and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d survive being turned away at the door. All the same, he knew he had to try. He paused outside the door, the lights from inside the house shining from the front windows. He hesitated a moment longer, reaching out to knock before realizing that the doorbell would be a better idea. He pressed the button for a long moment, listening to the loud dinging as it echoed from his location to the depths of the house.
“One minute,” he heard Kelly call, and he shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he waited for her to answer the door. He was tempted to sprint away before she made it that far, but that certainly wouldn’t improve his reputation with the woman. Especially considering that she would be able to see him turning tail to his next door home.
Bracing himself, he managed a weak smile as the door was pulled open, and the woman who had haunted his dreams stared out at him. A vaguely familiar expression glimmered in her eyes for a brief moment, and Paul could recognize it as an emotion he felt reflected in his own gaze. It was obvious the curvy and luscious woman still desired him, but as soon as he smiled and attempted to speak, she narrowed her eyes dangerously upon him.
“What are you doing here?” She demanded softly, speaking in hushed tones so her son wouldn’t hear. Paul hesitated, not entirely sure how to answer. As much as he wanted to mend the bridges he’d burned, he knew it would take a lot of work. He couldn’t simply apologize and expect things to get better from there. He knew he would have to put more effort in, more effort than he’d put into anything before.
“I wanted to talk… I wanted to apologize,” he began, moving to step through the doorway. Her expression was almost reminiscent of longing, but she soon wore the same cold mask that he’d been practicing for years. It seemed that she’d had her share of time to perfect her cool and calm exterior.
“There’s nothing to ap
ologize for, Paul. You took my virginity, and you left, but at the very least it was for a good cause. Serving the country, sailing the open seas and seeing lands that I could only dream of…” she trailed off, looking troubled. He parted his lips to speak, but she quickly cut him off with a glare. “There’s nothing to apologize, because an apology is too little too late. There’s nothing that you can say to ease the hurt I felt when you left. There’s no way to make up for that lost time. If you came here expecting sunshine and flowers… well, I’m sorry to disappoint you,” she said, brusquely. Paul’s mouth fell agape, and he stared at her with pain evident in his gaze. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, a thousand ways he could think of proving himself and showing how truly sorry he was. In that moment, he truly realized how little it meant, however.
“Our sons are getting along great. I don’t know who… I don’t know who you ended up with, but it’s obvious that he’s not in your life anymore. I know it has to be hard to take care of a child alone,” he began, and she laughed humorlessly, shifting her weight to one foot.