Gansett Island Boxed Set, Books 10-12

by Marie Force

  “So did I! I had no idea she was going to suddenly show up here the way she did. I hadn’t seen or talked to her in more than two years.”

  “And when you saw her, the first thing you did was let go of me. That hurt me, Shane.”

  “I know.” He leaned his forehead against hers and put his hands on her shoulders. “I’m so, so sorry I did that. You have no idea how badly I’d like to go back and have that minute to do over again.”

  “What would you have done differently?”

  “I would’ve introduced you to her as my girlfriend. If I had done that, you’d know what you mean to me, and she’d know there was no hope of reconciliation.”

  “That’s what she wanted?”

  Shane wanted to shoot himself for telling her that. He was truly batting a thousand today. “It’s what she wants. It’s not what I want. I want you.”

  “You were with her for years, Shane. You’ve known me for days.”

  “And I’ve loved every minute we’ve spent together. I told your brother earlier that you’ve been more right for me in five days than she was in five years. He said I ought to tell you that.”

  When she sniffled, he realized she was crying.

  “Katie, please… I’m so sorry. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you or make you cry. It’s killing me to see you cry.”

  “You talked to Owen? About me?”

  “Um, yeah, he basically tortured me by not telling me where you were and dragging me along to dinner with him and the guys. He’s not too happy with me for making you cry.”

  “I don’t blame you for what happened earlier. You had no way to know she’d be there waiting for you.”

  “I didn’t know. I swear it.”

  “I believe you.” She took a deep breath. “You were married to her for a long time, so it’s only natural that the sight of her would make you feel guilty for holding hands with someone else.”

  “I don’t feel guilty being with you, Katie. Not one bit. I’m single, and I have been for almost two years.”

  “And in all that time, you wondered why she left you. Isn’t that what you told me?”

  “Yes,” he said, resigned to having this conversation when all he wanted was to take her home so they could be alone to work this out.

  “Did you find out why?”

  “She said it was because she had to testify against some big-time drug dealers to get immunity on being prosecuted herself for dealing. Or something like that. Apparently, the big guys were convicted yesterday, and she’s now free and clear.”

  “So she divorced you to protect you?”

  “That’s what she said. Who knows if it’s the truth?”

  “Would your father know? Doesn’t he have connections with the court?”

  “What does it matter at this point, Katie? I don’t want her back. I don’t want a life of always wondering where she is, if she’s lying, what she’s doing, who she’s doing it with. I almost lost my mind being with her. It’s not what I want anymore.”

  “When did you decide that?”

  “You want an exact date?”

  “An estimate would be good.”

  “I don’t know. Last winter, maybe? I thought about what I’d do if she sought me out. And quite some time ago, I made up my mind that when or if she came looking for me, I wasn’t going to be available.”

  “So before you met me.”

  “Long before.”

  “And when you saw her today, how did you feel?”

  “Shocked. I never actually expected her to come after the way she dumped me. Plus, I didn’t think she knew where I was.”

  “Did you feel anything else besides shock?”

  “I feel like I’m on the witness stand here. Let’s cut to the chase. What do you really want to know?”

  “Do you still love her?”

  “No!”

  “And when did you know you weren’t in love with her anymore?”

  “I’ve suspected for quite some time, but today I knew for certain.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  “I do not love her. I do not want to be with her. Judging by the way I felt earlier when I had no idea where to look for you, it’s quite possible that I actually love you, and I know for damned sure I want to be with you.”

  “You… You love me?”

  Nodding, he took hold of her hand and placed it over his chest where his heart beat so hard and so fast it was a wonder he didn’t pass out from the exertion. “That’s what my fear of losing you is doing to me. I just found you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You have unfinished business with her.”

  “No, I don’t. Our business was finished the day our divorce was final.”

  Katie shook her head.

  “What’re you saying?”

  “You need closure.”

  “I need you.”

  “What if… What if a year or two from now, you wake up one day and realize you let your true love get away?”

  “Will you still be with me then? If so, my true love didn’t get away.”

  “You can’t possibly know that about me in only a few days’ time.”

  “Yes, I can.” Unable to refrain from touching her, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. “I can know that. I do know that.”

  Her hands curled around his wrists. “Shane…”

  “Courtney is my past. You’re my future. I feel that strongly for you, Katie. I think I knew it the day I pulled you out of the water and blew air into your lungs. You’re mine. Mine, Katie.” Pushing the hair back from her face, he gazed into her eyes. “If you send me away right now, I wouldn’t go back to her. I’m never going back to her. Why would I do that when everything I want and need is right here in my arms?”

  “You have to be sure, Shane.”

  “I’m three thousand percent positive.” He knew if they got a hundred years to spend together, Katie would never deceive him the way Courtney had. She would never use him or steal from him or make him feel like shit the way his ex-wife had. Katie simply wasn’t wired that way. “Will you please accept my apology for what happened earlier and give me a chance to prove I’m worth the risk?”

  “I want to. I really do. But I need a little time to think.”

  “How much time?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Katie, please. Don’t do this. Let’s spend that time together working this out.”

  “I want you to know… I’ve heard everything you’ve said, and I appreciate that you apologized. I also respect the fact that you were caught off guard by her appearance here today. I understand all that.”

  “So why do you need time?”

  “I need to process everything that’s happened in the last few days and figure out where I go from here.”

  “Where you go? I don’t get it. You said you understand what happened today, but you still want time?”

  “I need time.”

  He put his arms around her and whispered in her ear, “I’m crazy about you. I want to be with you. I want to work this out with you so we can get back to where we were before we were so rudely interrupted.”

  “I want that, too.”

  “Then let’s go.”

  She extricated herself from his embrace, and the resolute expression on her face gave him pause. “I care about you very much. You know I’ve been closer to you than I have to any other man, and I loved every minute we spent together.”

  Shane experienced a surge of panic that reminded him of a time he’d rather forget. “Why do I feel like you’re saying good-bye to me?”

  “I’m not saying good-bye. I’m saying I need a few days to myself. That’s all.”

  He’d said everything he could to convince her that he was genuinely committed to his relationship with her, but it hadn’t been enough. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll see you around.”

  Shane felt like he was walking through wet cement as he left her, went into the house and
headed straight for the door that would lead him out of there. He needed to get away from everyone and everything before he said or did something he’d regret.

  Of course, Laura and Owen were right behind him as he went out the door.

  Laura called out to him. “Shane, wait!” She grabbed his arm. “What happened? Where’re you going?”

  “Katie needs some time to think, and I’m going back to the hotel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “You shouldn’t walk home in the dark,” his sister said. “It’s not safe.”

  Evan materialized out of the darkness. “I’ll take him.”

  “Thanks, Ev,” Shane said.

  “Will you be all right?” Laura asked.

  “I’m fine. Go back to girls’ night. Apologize to Luke and Sydney for me, will you?” He kissed her cheek and left her with Owen while he went with Evan.

  “Thanks again for this, Evan.”

  “No problem.” After a long pause, Evan said, “So I take it things didn’t go well with Katie.”

  “I’m not exactly sure. She said she understands what happened today and why, but she needs ‘time.’”

  “Ouch.”

  “Right? What the hell does that mean?”

  “I wouldn’t want to speculate.”

  “It’s not good, though, is it?”

  Evan rubbed his face as he thought about that. “It’s not good today, but it might be okay in a day or two. You just have to be patient.”

  “It took me two years after Courtney left me to go out on a date. The first time I went out with Katie, I knew she was special. Things were going really well with us, and then Courtney shows up and it all goes to shit in one minute?”

  “Maybe Katie needs a few days to make sure she’s ready for a relationship.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Shane agreed with his cousin, but the sinking feeling inside was indicative of his true sentiments, which he kept to himself.

  “You want to hear something I just found out?”

  “Sure.” Anything was better than thinking about his own problems.

  “The resort where Grace and I booked our wedding had a water main break, and they’re going to be closed for months while they fix the damage.”

  “So where does that leave you guys?”

  “They’re going to try to rebook us somewhere else, but they aren’t making any guarantees.”

  “And you just heard this?”

  Nodding, Evan said, “I made the mistake of checking my email on my phone while everyone else was drinking.”

  “Did you tell Grace?”

  “Not yet. I figured I’d let her have a good time tonight, and we’ll deal with it in the morning.”

  “That sucks, but I’m sure you’ll find somewhere else. You’ve got a couple of months, right?”

  Evan nodded. “Five months.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Thanks. We’re going to need it.” Evan pulled up to the hotel and turned into the parking lot. “Hang in there, buddy. It’ll work out.”

  He shook hands with his cousin. “Hope it works out for both of us. Thanks again for the ride.” Shane got out of the car, went into the hotel and straight up to his room, where the scent of Katie’s perfume lingered from her earlier visit.

  What had started out as a rather great day had gone to shit, and it was all Courtney’s fault. Lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling he’d helped to paint, he wondered if he’d ever be free of her.

  * * *

  From his vantage point in Luke’s kitchen, Mac had a perfect view of Maddie, sitting among the women, laughing and chatting as if she hadn’t a care in the world. She didn’t have a word to say to him, but had no trouble talking to her friends. He was hardly ever truly angry with her, but he was right now. What were they even doing here? They should be home alone, recovering from their loss together.

  Did their friends and family think them uncaring because they’d come out to socialize so soon after losing their baby? No one would ever say such a thing, but he was sure they were thinking it, because he was, too.

  “Mac?” Grant offered him another beer.

  “No, thanks.” The one he had wasn’t going down well. He had no desire for another.

  Grant followed his gaze to the living room. “She seems to be doing well.”

  “A little too well, if you ask me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  The moment the words left his mouth, he felt disloyal to his wife. “I shouldn’t have said that.” As Grant eyed him inquisitively, Mac released a deep sigh. He was unaccustomed to problems in his marriage and had no idea how to handle this situation. “She’s acting like nothing happened, when I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

  “Perhaps that’s her way of coping?”

  “Maybe,” Mac conceded. “She’s been really, really quiet since we found out, especially around me. Last night, with Mallory, she seemed more like herself, but as soon as Mallory left, she was right back in the shell.”

  “It’s only been a couple of days. I’m sure she’ll bounce back to her old self before too long.”

  “I’m mad with her,” Mac said softly. “I’m never mad with her.”

  “Don’t go there. Nothing good will come of that.”

  “Believe me, I know. Can’t help it, though.”

  When Stephanie came into the kitchen, Grant extended his hand to her.

  She took his hand and snuggled up to him. “I just got some horrible news.”

  “What is it?”

  “One of my best waitresses is resigning because she’s really sick. She has lung cancer, of all things.”

  “Not Lisa Chandler,” Mac said as a sense of dread overtook him.

  “Yes, right, you know her, too. The house and everything.”

  Mac felt like he’d been gut punched. “Oh my God. This is awful. She was at the house the other day and couldn’t stop coughing. She said she couldn’t afford the clinic, so we asked David to check on her.”

  “I hate to hear that she couldn’t afford the doctor,” Stephanie said. “I pay my staff as much as I possibly can, but it’s still not enough for some of them.”

  “Her poor kids,” Mac said.

  “I know,” Stephanie said tearfully. “They’re adorable.” She looked up at Grant. “Do you mind if we go home? I’m not much in the mood to party after hearing this.”

  “Sure, hon. I’m ready to go.” To Mac, he said, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Hang in there,” Grant said, “and stay calm, okay?”

  “I will.” He knew Grant was right. Allowing his anger to fester wouldn’t help the situation. It would only make things worse. Mac pushed off the counter and went into the living room.

  Maddie looked up when she saw him coming. But rather than the usual adoring look he always received from her, this time she seemed wary.

  “Can we go?” he asked.

  “I didn’t drive. Did you?”

  “No.” Mac’s frustration grew when he realized they were stuck there until they could get a ride.

  “I’ll take you,” Tiffany said. “I promised Blaine I’d be home early.”

  “He was with us earlier but went home after dinner.”

  “He has to work tomorrow.”

  “The rest of us do, too,” Mac said, thankful for the diversion that gave him something else to think about besides Maddie’s unusual silence.

  “Blaine is ridiculously disciplined on work nights. So much so I’ll probably have to trick him into having sex with me tonight.”

  “I can just imagine the kind of tricks you’re capable of,” Maddie said dryly.

  Tiffany winked at her sister. “Works every time.”

  Mac had little doubt that Tiffany had sensed the tension between him and Maddie and was trying to lighten the mood with her irreverence. The three of them said good night to the others and headed out the door. Mac took the backseat so Maddie and her sister could sit together
.

  The two of them chatted about the kids, the carpool for Thomas and Ashleigh’s art camp in the morning and the possibility of a beach outing in the afternoon.

  “I’ll call you in the morning,” Tiffany said when they arrived at Mac and Maddie’s house.

  “Sounds good. Thanks for helping Mom with the kids while we were gone.”

  “It was no problem at all. We adore them.”

  Maddie hugged Tiffany and got out of the car.

  “Mac,” Tiffany said in a low tone. “I want you to know how sorry I am. If there’s anything I can do…”

  “See if you can get her to talk about it. I’ve had no luck.”

  “I will. Tomorrow.”

  “Thanks.” He followed Maddie up the stairs and into the family room, where his parents were watching TV—or he should say his mom was watching. His dad was asleep next to her but came to when they walked in.

  “You’re home early,” Linda said.

  “We’re tired,” Mac replied.

  “I’m sure you are. We’ll get out of your hair.”

  Maddie hugged and kissed her in-laws. “Thanks for coming over tonight.”

  “We’re happy to do it any time, honey,” Big Mac said.

  Maddie gave him a grateful smile and said good night.

  Watching her go up the stairs, Mac had never felt more impotent. He knew in his heart of hearts that she was suffering, but she refused to let him in, and he didn’t understand why.

  “Give her time, sweetheart,” Linda said softly.

  “It’s killing me that she won’t talk to me.”

  “She will. When she’s ready. Try to be patient.”

  “I’m not exactly known for my patience, especially where she’s concerned.”

  “It’s what she needs right now, Mac. I know it’s so hard for you, but please try.”

  “I will.” Mac hugged both his parents and waited for them to get into his dad’s truck before he turned off the outside lights and locked up. He trudged up the stairs without the enthusiasm he always felt when it was finally time to go to bed with Maddie.

  Tonight he felt anxious and sad. While he knew his mother and Grant were right and he had to be patient, he wanted to scream with frustration and grief and a million other emotions that swirled through him. Instead of screaming and raging, though, he checked on the kids, then took a shower and shaved before getting into bed beside Maddie.