“I hate to say it but we have two choices,” she said. “Turn back, or you could get me some dry clothes.”
“I don’t like the idea of turning back,” he said. “On the other hand, if I take the boat into town and back to buy you something, it will take forever.”
“There’s a better way,” she said. “Ivy.”
“Oh yeah,” said Simon. “I’ll text her. She can bring down some fresh clothes and another board and I’ll meet her.”
“You’re probably still worrying about your board,” said Amanda.
“You know, now that I think of it, we should have just let the boards go and gone back for some more.”
“Never mind,” she said. “Let’s do that. It will only take a few minutes. I can even come with you to meet Ivy.”
“And run into Wiffle?” he said. “I don’t think so.”
“Good point,” she said. “I’ll wait here.”
She pulled the blanket tighter and watched to make sure Simon wasn’t snapping a picture.
26
Couple of Clowns
Amanda wasn’t used to standing around English docks wrapped in nothing but blankets. She was still wondering if Simon had peeked while she was taking off her clothes. He seemed to have his back to her the whole time, but she’d been preoccupied and who knew if he’d tried? She wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but it was better than if Wiffle had been there. Now that would have been a disaster.
The whole incident had been ridiculous though. If she hadn’t slipped in the first place, they wouldn’t have lost Simon’s board, he wouldn’t have pieces of wood sticking out all over his body, and she’d be dry and comfortably on her way to town.
Keeping an eye out for potential splinters, she walked back down the dock, climbed into Eggs, and waited for Simon to return. It was a warm day for the UK, although not so much for L.A., and she was thawing and drying nicely. She looked out over the sparkling water of Enchanto. Whoever had chosen this setting for Legatum had had good taste. When things settled down she would spend a lot more time appreciating its beauty.
After a while she realized that Simon had been gone a long time. She checked her phone, which was still intact in her backpack, and saw that it had been forty minutes since he’d left. That wasn’t good. If he didn’t get back soon, it would be too late to return at a reasonable hour and they’d have to scuttle the trip. She sent him a text: “Where R U?” He replied within about three seconds: “Ivy brought wrong board.”
Oh boy. Ivy was pretty good at finding her way around and dealing with objects, but she wasn’t experienced in the matter of skateboards and even with Amphora’s help had picked up the wrong one. Simon had tried to describe what he wanted via text, but neither of the girls could interpret his instructions correctly, so he’d had to climb all the way up to the third floor and dig the skateboard out himself. He was on his way back to the dock as fast as he could go and expected to be there within ten minutes.
Amanda was getting antsy. She didn’t mind the itchy blankets, but she remembered what had happened the last time she’d tried to get to London and was worried that they might be delayed again. If that were to happen they wouldn’t return until midnight, and despite the fact that the teachers were distracted she didn’t want to chance their wrath, which might even lead to a suspension.
She texted Simon again. No answer. He must be on his way. Why did she do that? Answering would just slow him down. What a dummy.
Finally he emerged from the tunnel with his new skateboard and a large black plastic bag, presumably holding dry clothes. He was wearing a clean T-shirt, so he must also have gone back to his room. Actually that was a good idea, even if it did cost them another few minutes, but they’d have to rush now.
He ran to the boat, tossed the bag at her, and turned his back.
“What happened?” she said, throwing off the blankets and putting on the fresh clothes. Uh oh. He’d brought that blue sweater that was way too big for her. Oh well. She’d have to live with it.
“Minor glitch,” he said. “Ivy brought the wrong board, so I had to go back upstairs, but I got waylaid by you-know-who and had to get rid of him, and then Thrillkill stopped me and wanted to know how I was getting along in Crime Lab, and then I had to wait for Ivy to get you some clothes, so I thought I may as well get a clean T-shirt, and then I ran into you-know-who again, so it took me longer than I thought it would.”
“What did David want?” she said, tying her shoelaces.
“Usual stuff,” said Simon. “Not worth mentioning. Don’t know why I said anything.”
“He really is pathetic, isn’t he?” she said.
“I don’t know what he’s so paranoid about,” said Simon. “He’s not that dumb. He gets in his own way.”
“Yeah,” she said. “If he weren’t so annoying I might actually feel sorry for him.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” said Simon.
With Amanda now dry and dressed, the pair got into Eggs extra-carefully and set off. Fortunately the motor worked perfectly and the boat did not leak. After a short time they arrived at a dock close to town and disembarked, then without further incident got onto their boards and skated to the railway station.
“You’re good at this,” Simon yelled back to Amanda as they barreled along.
“Thanks,” she said. As she balanced on her board the wind blew the remaining moisture out of her hair, and when they arrived at the station the only telltale sign of their mishap was the red spots on Simon’s arms.
They hopped on a quick train to Oxenholme, then changed to one that would take them to Euston Station in London. As they threaded their way through the London-bound train, Amanda took great care to make sure there weren’t any monkeys riding with them. Last time she’d done this she had the misfortune of running into a particularly nasty specimen who’d peed all over her. That was another thing she would not let happen again. But one eventuality she hadn’t planned for was another call from her relatives. As soon as she and Simon had sat down, her cousin Despina phoned. Flustered, she made a mistake and picked up.
“Amanda, darling!” said Despina. “How’s our little ray of sunshine?” Amanda took the phone away from her ear, pointed to it, and made a gagging gesture. Simon laughed.
“Oh, hello, Despina,” she said. “I’m afraid I can’t—”
“Darling, we’re ready to show you around the Lake District. Are you free at 11:00 this morning?”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “Despina, I—”
“How about if we pick you up then? We’ll take a boat ride around the lake and you’ll see all the sights. There’s a cute little folly—”
“I’m sorry, Despina. I can’t go.”
“Well, then, darling, how about at noon?”
More eye rolling. “I’m afraid I’m busy then.”
“One o’clock? We can still catch a tour boat then.” Her voice grew muffled. “What’s that, Hill? Tell her what? Oh, right.” Her voice cleared again. “Hill says to tell you about the tearoom with the Prince William and Princess Kate plates.”
“I can’t go today, Despina.” Amanda looked at Simon. She hesitated. “I’m going on . . . an elephant ride.” Simon gave her a look and she shrugged.
“Oh, that sounds lovely, dear. Where is it? We’ll come with you.”
It was impossible to get rid of this woman. “I’m sorry. It’s for a birthday party. It’s private.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Is it an African or an Indian elephant?”
What did she care what kind of elephant it was? Pink, polka-dotted, paisley, whatever. “I don’t know. I think it’s from Tibet.” She didn’t think there were elephants in Tibet but she didn’t care.
“Tibet, darling? Oh, that’s lovely. We haven’t been there. Would you like to go?”
“Not really. I—”
“How about tomorrow, then?” Surely she didn’t mean to Tibet.
“How about next Saturday?” Amanda blurted out. “Not Tibet. I m
ean Windermere.” Making a firm date was the only way to get this woman to stop badgering her. Not that she intended to keep it.
“Splendid! Hill, do you hear that? We’re going to see Amanda next Saturday. How about ten, dear?”
“Fine,” said Amanda. “Ten. In the morning.”
“We’ll be at the guard gate then,” said Despina. “Be sure to bring your camera.”
When did she not have her camera with her? When did anyone not carry a camera these days? Wait a minute. Why did she care? She wasn’t going anywhere with those two.
“Oh, and I’ll be bringing some pictures of your cousin Jeffrey in his uniform,” said Despina. “He looks so handsome.”
Amanda didn’t care if he looked like Brad Pitt. She had no interest in her cousin Jeffrey or his parents. “Right,” she managed to squeeze out.
“I can’t tell you how excited we are to finally see you,” said Despina. “We can’t wait to add your picture to our photo album.”
“Uh, me too,” said Amanda. “Bye.”
She turned to Simon. “You don’t have to say it,” he said. “I get the picture.”
“Well, at least I got rid of her for now,” said Amanda. “I’ll worry about next Saturday when it gets here.”
After a few minutes Simon decided he wanted a sandwich, so they made their way to the concession car and bought two large hoagies. When they got back to their car they could see that someone was sitting in their place—a couple of clowns in full costume.
Amanda turned to Simon and pointed with her chin. “There are a couple of clowns sitting in our seats,” she whispered.
“So there are.” He came up beside the two men and said, “Excuse me, but these are our seats.”
“Not anymore,” said the one with the huge blue nose.
“We just got up to get some food,” said Amanda.
“Well, go somewhere and eat it,” said the other one, who was wearing a spiky orange wig.
“You don’t understand,” said Amanda. “We were already sitting here.” The condensation from her drink was starting to drip.
“Too bad,” said blue nose. He turned away and opened his book: Trinomial Equations.
“Look,” said Simon. “You clowns are going to have to move.”
“And who’s going to make us?” said orange wig. “A couple of geeky-looking kids?”
“I thought clowns were supposed to be nice,” said Amanda. “You’re a discredit to your people.” The drink was making her fingers freeze.
“Ha!” said blue nose. “Listen to those big words. And you got it wrong, kiddie. It’s decredit.”
“Nuh uh,” said Amanda. “Discredit.”
“I don’t care if it’s easy credit,” said orange wig. “Off you go.” He looked out the window. “Whoa, a Gloster Meteor. Only two of those are still active in the UK. See that, Terry? Hey, you’re missing one of the coolest vintage aircraft ever.”
“Now see what you’ve done,” said Terry, the blue nose. “I was in the middle of solving this equation and now I’ve lost my place.”
“Who cares about equations?” said orange wig. “This is real life.”
“Look, clownie,” said Simon. “I don’t care if the Hindenburg is out there. She’s right. These are our seats and clowns are supposed to be nice.”
“Says who?” said Terry.
“Says the rules,” said Amanda. Oh no! She was sounding like David Wiffle. Maybe it would be better to do as the clowns had said and find other seats. She did not like what this struggle was doing to her.
“’Says the rules,’” the orange-wigged clown mocked.
“Forget it,” said Amanda. She pulled Simon by the arm, which was a neat trick considering that she was trying to juggle her sandwich and the wet drink at the same time. Fortunately all her other stuff was in her backpack or she would have had to manage that too.
“I never liked clowns,” said Simon when they were well away from the meanies.
“Me either,” said Amanda. “They’re grotesque.” Two drops of water dripped from her cup and got her jeans on the way down.
“Pop quiz. What makeup was the one with the orange wig wearing?”
“White background, red outline around the mouth, red and blue stripes on the cheeks and forehead, and black around the eyes. Oh, and a fuzzy red nose about the size of my fist.”
“Not bad,” said Simon. “Although you forgot the eyebrows.”
“Oh, right. Red eyebrows. Sorry. Frankly I wasn’t impressed. I could do a better job with only two colors.”
“Which would be?”
“Red and white, of course. I’ll give you a demonstration tomorrow.”
They had traversed quite a distance at this point, but the train was so full that they hadn’t found any empty seats. Simon was dripping sauce and tomatoes from his sandwich and managed to get food all over his clothes, not to mention the floor. Amanda thought it probably wasn’t such a good idea for him to eat while they were walking. Worse, he was sipping from the soda he was carrying in his other hand and was getting Coke all over his face and down his T-shirt. The trail he was leaving would have been helpful for finding their way back had they needed it. She hoped it wouldn’t attract ants. At least her drips were sugar-free.
They walked all the way to the last car before they found two seats, which fortunately happened to be next to each other. As soon as they sat down, however, two young toughs came up and said that those were their seats.
“Sorry. First come, first served,” said Simon. He looked at Amanda as if to say, “If the clowns can do it, we can.” She felt torn. While she didn’t approve of the clowns’ manners, she desperately wanted to get out of the aisle.
“Don’t think so,” said the one with the tattoo on his neck that said “Inquisition.”
“Look, we’re sitting here,” said Simon. “The seats were empty and we took them.” A piece of tomato fell out of his sandwich.
“Well, now they’re not,” said the one with the ZZ Top beard. “Get up.”
“Make me,” said Simon.
“Would ya listen to that?” He turned to his friend and laughed. “I wouldn’t argue with us if I were you, laddie.”
At this point Simon was starting to look nervous. Amanda elbowed him and hoped her sandwich wasn’t dripping as well. “Come on,” she said. “We’ll find other seats.”
“No,” he said. “We’re not getting up.”
“Look, bozo,” said the guy with the tattoo, “we got up for one second. That’s not moving. That’s a break.”
“Well, we did the same thing in that other car, and two clowns came and took our seats,” said Simon.
“Yeah, well you clowns took ours. Get up.” He bumped Simon’s drink and it crashed to the floor. Now there would definitely be ants.
“Look what you did,” Simon said.
“Tough,” said the Inquisition guy. “Get out of our seats.”
He pulled back his arm, made a fist, and punched Simon square in the nose. Simon fell to the floor and his food scattered. Amanda got up, put her sandwich on the seat, and turned him over. His nose was bleeding. When she looked up, the two toughs had thrown her sandwich on the floor and taken the seats.
“What’s going on here?” The voice was the porter’s. “Are you hurt, sir?” he said to Simon.
“I’b gud,” said Simon, who was speaking in a muffled sort of way now.
“No you aren’t,” said Amanda. “That guy punched you.”
“Leeb it,” said Simon. “I’b fide.”
“Officer, those two guys harassed us and punched my friend,” said Amanda. She didn’t care if she sounded like David Wiffle. There were times when complaining was legitimate and this was one of them.
“That true?” said the porter to the toughs.
“I just touched him,” said the guy with the tattoo. “He must be a hemophiliac.”
“You decked him,” said Amanda. “That was totally uncalled for.”
“All righ
t,” said the porter after helping Simon up. “You two come with me. I’m sorry, sir,” he said to Simon. “Here is a form to fill out if you’d like to make a complaint. And please accept this gauze and antiseptic. Miss, you can find ice at the end of the car.”
Simon reclaimed his seat and sat there with his nose up in the air until the bleeding stopped. Unfortunately his face started to turn purple even though he held the ice to it for quite a while. Amanda urged him to fill out the form and make the complaint but he didn’t want to.
“Peeble pudge each udder all da time, add eddyway, we hab do keeb a low profile,” he said.
“Yes, we do have to keep a low profile,” she said. “We’re breaking school rules, which we do all the time of course, but we don’t want to call attention to Legatum. I don’t agree that it’s okay to punch people, though.”
“Nebber bide” he said.
“What’s that?”
“Nebber bind,” he said loudly.
“Oh, right. Never mind. Okay.” She sat back in her seat. “Do you want some of my sandwich or drink?”
“Dat’s okay,” he said. “I’ll go ged my owd. But you deed to sabe by seat.”
“Oh, sure. I’ll save your seat. No problem. And if those guys come back I’ll just call the porter. But I don’t think they’ll try again.”
When Simon had left to get another snack, Amanda went through her backpack. Her skateboard was there, of course, and a couple of crystals. She had also packed pepper spray, which she’d brought back from her holiday in London as a general precaution. The thought of running into Blixus Moriarty scared her silly. He’d been rough with her when she’d penetrated his territory before, and now that he’d spent time in prison he would be even more dangerous. She had also packed the usual evidence kit, gingersnaps, her phone charger, and the phone itself, which she pulled out.
Finishing her sandwich and drink at the same time, she brought up her film editing program and got to work on the training film. Thrillkill would not be pleased if she and Holmes took any more time with it, and the train ride seemed like a good time to make progress. They had worked up what she thought was a great story about following an audit trail, and she was working on the part where they found the prize at the end of the path.
The example showed how to track down hackers using IP addresses. She had turned it into a story about an explorer—sort of a cross between Marco Polo and David Livingstone with a touch of Lewis and Clark thrown in—who, after following a circuitous route, had found a treasure. In this case the treasure was a smoking gun that proved a crime had been committed, and she showed the explorer opening a chest in which it was hidden. As much as she and Holmes had argued over the direction of the film, in the end he had come around and they were both pleased with the result. She was just about to knit together the scene in which the explorer, one Leaf Mothmore, opened the chest, when Simon returned and said, “How can you edit on that thing?” His voice was beginning to clear up.
Amanda Lester and the Orange Crystal Crisis Page 28