by Candy Nicks
"Thank you. For letting him live. He didn't deserve to die for challenging you. Or to entertain that mob."
"I didn't want to kill him for that."
"What then?” she bit her lip. “What did he say to you?"
"That what he felt was real. And what I feel is nothing but magic. That's why I wanted to kill him. He feels with this,” he slapped a hand over his heart. “All I know is what this tells me.” He thrust the palm bearing the symbols into her face. Grabbed her hand and pressed his palm to hers. “I'm jealous of that son of a dog and I can't do any of this any more. No, don't come near me.” He dropped her hand and sat on the edge of the tub. “I want you so much it scares me. But all I have is an illusion. You're nothing but a mirage."
"No, I'm not.” She opened her robe and stood between his parted knees. Took his hand and placed it on her smooth stomach. “I'm real enough. Feel,” she said sliding his hand lower. His fingers twitched. “I'll find a way to set you free. But for now ... I need you, Ancel. We need each other."
He leaned his cheek onto her breasts. “Your heart is racing."
"I don't fight, but I feel everything you go through."
"Come, don't cry, Carine. You shouldn't have encouraged Brynn to dream beyond his means. Vin shouldn't have let him challenge me."
At last he was holding her without reserve and giving her the comfort she craved. Shielding her with his strength while she blinked back her tears. Foolish to think that she'd get through this without them. Wonderful to know that for now Ancel would be here to catch them. He rubbed circles on her back while she struggled for composure. Still wearing her woman's make-up, she clung to him like a child, leaning her cheek against his sweat-stained tunic, nostrils full of the pungent earthy smell.
"Go to bed,” he said, giving her back a final pat. “You're exhausted."
Yes. Weary to her bones. So much so that she lolled against him, unable to move the few steps to the bed. Unwilling to unwind herself from his warm body. “I need to wash my face."
He rose and opened the mirror-fronted cabinet over the washbasin, pulling out a packet of demaq pads. “Are these what you use?"
She nodded mutely and allowed him to clean her face, then followed him zombie-like back to the bedroom. He checked behind the inner door and found their dinner. Set about devouring his. She fell back onto the bed and thought about Brynn and his shattered dreams. Life had no meaning without dreams and goals. How could she blame him for trying so fiercely to realise his?
"What did you hope for, Ancel?"
He stopped, fork in mid air. Hardly anything spoiled his appetite. “What do you mean?"
"In life. What was your plan?"
"To be Tournament champion six times in a row."
She smiled at that. “A wife, children?"
"Eventually,” he said, chewing on his mouthful. “My elder brother took the brunt of familial responsibility, leaving me relatively free to make my own path."
"I too might have taken a life-partner. When I'd finished my training."
"You would not have stayed in the Temple?” He wiped around his plate with a hunk of bread and eyed her meal hopefully.
"Eat,” she said. “I'm not hungry tonight. We may choose to serve in the community. Either way, celibacy is not required. I thought I might become a counsellor."
"You're certainly very bossy."
"Caring,” she corrected with a laugh. “Concerned ... I usually know best...” Eyelids drooping, she watched Ancel polish off her meal. He gave a satisfied sigh, belched and stacked the plates back onto the tray. She heard the door click, and the gassy hiss of a bottle being unstoppered.
"Don't drink too much...” Her eyes closed and she gave in to the gentle waves of sleep washing over her.
She dreamed she was a juggler in a travelling show and every time she threw a ball in the air, another appeared until she was unable to hold them all. Suddenly they crashed to the ground and she awoke, clutching the sheet and gasping for breath. Beside her, Ancel snored lightly. The security lights glowed at the window, and outside she heard the rhythmic footfall of the patrolling guard. In the distance, a dog howled.
Ancel murmured and turned to her, his arm snaking about her waist. She pressed into him, and heard the catch in his breathing. Felt him, hard against her thigh. Hooking her leg over his, she took what she so desperately needed. Sheathing him until he was deep inside and moving, dreamlike, in time with her. Instinctively seeking out her hand to join the symbols. She fell back into sleep and awoke with him still inside her. When he tried to move away, she held on and crossed her legs behind his back. Lifted her hips to bring him deeper and make him come with an anguished cry.
She wouldn't let him turn away and held him in place while he regained his breath. The ghost of the Mistress had haunted them. It was time to lay it to rest and show Ancel that she could cope with what he had to do.
"Thank you,” he said, kissing her deep and long, his full weight resting on her. And for the blink of an eye she felt utterly safe, protected and happy beyond belief. Then she took a deep breath and shouldered her burden once more. Vin had promised a new Crystal. She prayed fervently that it would be soon and that this might be the one.
Chapter 11
"I want to see Brynn first. How is he?"
"How should I know? The new Crystal, is it working?"
Carine kept her face carefully neutral although she could barely contain the excitement surging through her. The signs were better than good. For the first time since her capture, she was truly one with the Source. The Crystal hummed in her hand, picking up the vibrations of the symbols.
"I don't know yet. And I won't know until I've seen Brynn."
Vin lay back onto his couch, eyes closed, palm draped dramatically across his forehead. In the other hand he held a scented pomander which he sniffed occasionally. “Brynn, Brynn, Brynn. That's all I hear. I'm dying here. Dying..."
Carine folded her arms, unable to summon any sympathy for the pathetic creature laid out before her. His mental powers were failing rapidly. His skin had paled to a paper-thin transparency, throwing the blue veins beneath into stark contrast. Without his wig, he resembled a living skeleton. She shivered with distaste at the rancid smell that emanated from him.
"You're not going yet.” He wouldn't die without a big dramatic struggle. Not Vin. “Why won't you let me see Brynn? Is he ... d ... dead?” She could hardly say the word. Nothing had been seen or heard of Brynn since the fight.
"Hell if I know."
"No deal then.” Carine placed the Crystal carefully back into its velvet-lined box, ignoring the seductive voice in her head. We are for you, it repeated over and over. She should be rejoicing, but this was the only leverage she had and perhaps Brynn's only chance of decent medical care. If he still lived.
"You at least got him a medic?"
"Employees pay their own medical expenses. I run a business, not a charity.” Vin sniffed his pomander and waved a languid hand. “I should have been a poet, you know.” He arched an eyebrow at Carine's glare and blew out a long, irritable breath. “Oh, all right then,” he grumbled, suddenly no longer at death's door. He swung his legs over the side of the couch and smoothed out his kimono. “In the basement. Room three. No, I don't think anyone got him a medic. We're not exactly a band of brothers here. Every man for himself, and all that. Go do your angel-of-mercy thing and be quick about it. I want this done today. Here, catch."
Already half-way to the door, she caught the token which would give her freedom to roam within the compound. Only the most trusted of slaves earned these. She flashed it at the guard and raced down the stairs, along the dimly-lit basement corridor, counting off the room numbers. Room three was little more than a hole in the wall, windowless, with only a small cot, a toilet and a metal washbasin. The stench of infection made her gag when she entered. It also made her surprisingly angry.
"You fool, Brynn. You stupid fool.” She gazed at him in horror. Three days since the figh
t and he still wore his body-armour, the wound in his side remained untended. The least swollen of his eyes opened and gazed back at her. He frowned as if trying to work out who she was.
"Carine...? How nice of you to visit.” He lisped the words through scabbing lips, coughed and clutched his side, his face tight with pain.
"Don't you dare give me that tone,” she said falling to her knees beside the low cot. “What were you thinking?"
"Thinking?” Brynn laughed, a low rumble which ended in another spluttering cough. “I don't believe thinking came into it."
"Have they given you anything? For the pain? The infection?"
"Vin's docked my bonuses. Lost a fortune on the bets. Got nothing left to pay for a medic.” The words came out in staccato bursts, in between gasps of pain.
"By the Goddess, Brynn. What were you thinking?” Injured as he was, she wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled.
"Was thinking that maybe I had one of these after all.” He reached for her hand and placed it over his heart. “Come to watch me die?"
"Stop being so dramatic. You're getting worse than Vin,” she said, blinking back the tears. “You need proper medical care and then you'll be as right as a spring fawn. Let me see."
"A spring fawn?” He nearly choked on the laughter.
Carine smiled despite the grim scene before her. Brynn matched Ancel in height and almost in build. His legs dangled awkwardly from the end of the cot. One boot still on, the other bloodstained, lying discarded on the floor next to his hide gloves and a plate bearing a half-eaten pie. At least they'd remembered to feed him. His bare arms and neck were slick with sweat and the wound in his side oozed dark, sticky blood. It needed stitching, as did his lip.
"I'm going to clean that for you. What's the door code for the medic-station?"
"Alpha, Chrom. Get me something for the pain, will you?"
"I'll be right back."
"Be quick..."
Outside the medic-station, Carine stopped to catch her breath. Why did she expect more in a place where life was so cheap? In Terralandia a dog would have received better care than this. Goddess, show mercy, she prayed. Brynn's soul wasn't exactly pristine, but it didn't bear the deep stains that would have condemned Vin to eternal damnation. If Brynn died now he could still work his way up to Paradise.
He's not going to die. She stated it as fact, believing herself, at that moment, capable of taking on the grim reaper himself. She'd saved Ancel, and she would save Brynn. Capture had changed her in many ways, making her stronger, harder. In a place where it was difficult to believe in anything, she believed in herself more than she ever had. Rooting through the supplies, she filled a small box with bandages and anti-septic spray. A suture kit and painkillers. She threw in several random pill-boxes, hoping that Brynn might recognise something of use.
"This is going to hurt.” Brynn groaned and attempted to sit up. “Got any grain-spirits in there? Komchi?"
She pushed him back down. “No, I haven't. I'll work as quickly as I can. Painkillers first. Let them dissolve on your tongue."
He gulped them down, his desperation showing through the bravado, but hardly flinched when she peeled away his body armour, taking stuck flesh with it. Exposing his wound, she cleaned it as best she could, saturating the gaping hole with anti-septic spray. She swallowed down a brief wave of nausea at the sight and pulled the torn edges together, securing them with the sutures.
"You've got to keep very still, otherwise these won't hold. I'm going to get you a medic. You need some Taraga for the infection."
"And pay him with what?"
"Let me worry about that. I've a few credits I gathered from the stage and I have a feeling that Vin will be more than willing to contribute."
"I'm in your debt, Carine. I'll pay you back if it's the last thing I do."
"Yes, you will. Every last credit.” She secured the binding, leaning over him to tuck the ends beneath his body. He inhaled deeply when her breasts grazed his chest. “And to do that, you have to stay alive. Do you hear me?"
"You are ... ow! That hurts."
"Then stop talking or your lip will never heal.” He needed a bath and a shave and most of all something to stop the infection spreading through his blood to the rest of his body. “I will get you a medic. Let me see to that wound on your foot, then you must rest."
"I can't sleep. Haven't slept in ... how many days have I been here?"
"Three.” The top of his foot bore a deep gash, where Ancel's sword had sliced through boot leather and flesh. The skin around the wound was stretched tight, yellowing at the core and edged with streaks of red. Brynn endured her probing with nothing more than a stifled groan and when she'd squeezed out as much of the infection as she could, she sprayed it with anti-septic, bound up the wound and offered up a prayer for good measure.
"Are you all right? You're looking a little pale.” Brynn pushed himself up onto one elbow and peered down at his foot. “You have a gift for healing too, Carine. It feels a lot better, thank you."
"I'm fine. I only wish I could do more for you. Do you still have your knife?"
"Body armour, front pouch. What-?"
"To cut away the soiled sheet,” she said quickly, sensing his panic. “Nothing more than that."
Vin would be waiting for her. She worked quickly, washed her hands in the dirty basin and then picked up the pill boxes and placed them into Brynn's large hand. “Will any of these help you sleep? In the Temple we worked mainly with plants and herbs. I could have mixed you a posset that would make you sleep like an angel."
"Sleeping with the angels,” he said deliberately misinterpreting her. “I like the thought of that.” Bringing each box close to his face, he read the labels. “This one,” he said handing it back to her. “Give me a double dose, and tell me more about your home."
"I've got to go. Ancel will be wondering where I am.” She fed him two pills and turned away from his disappointed face. And his anger too, at the mention of his rival. She didn't dare tell him where she was really going.
"I would have died for you."
"To no avail, Brynn.” She turned back to him, incredulous. “What is it with you men that you're all queuing up to die? Are you all born with a suicide gene? If you want to impress me, then live. Make something of your life. You owe me for this—well, I command you to find a way out of here. Do something worthy. Take Jana with you. Show her there's more to life than this."
"You're planning an escape, aren't you?"
"I'm going no-where. But I can help you and Ancel and Jana too."
Strong fingers grasped her arm. “You stay, I stay. What are you up to?"
"I've got to go. Sleep, it will help you heal."
His grip slackened as the pill took effect. “Don't trust Vin ... He's the ... devil himself."
"Leave Vin to me,” she said stroking his hair, his burning cheek, helping him on his way. We are for you, she mouthed softly, echoing the beautiful persuasive song of the Crystal. Reminding herself that she had a task to attend to.
Brynn smiled faintly. “Wish it were true...” His eyes closed and his breathing evened out. Carine moved to the washbasin and squeezed water into a medicated pad. With it, she gently cleaned the blood from his face and arms and then she stood back and watched him sleep. For now, she'd done all she could for him.
She left the room and followed the Crystal's siren call. It soothed the turmoil in her mind. Untangled the threads and rewove them into a plan. Even if she was doomed, her act of sacrifice would have some meaning. It would not go unnoticed by the Source. But perhaps there was another way. Vin had surpassed himself—this Crystal held a strength she'd never before encountered. Even at this distance she could feel it. The symbols on her palm ached to join with it once more. Take them back, she urged. Break the Bond. He was unwilling and I had no right to force him. Undo what should never have been done and set him free.
"What kept you?” Vin glared at her from the couch. “Well? Do we need
call the death-wagon? If he's still warm we can have ourselves an organ harvest. Could do with a new liver myself."
"He lives, Vin. But he needs a medic."
"Blackmail, eh?” Vin's eyes glittered with amusement. “I like it. But don't push me too far. Alright, a medic he shall have."
"And you give him his old job back."
"Granted. Although he'll only be good for sweeping floors after this."
"Give me the Crystal."
She held out her hand, palm up. Vin eyed her suspiciously, head tilted, a frown on his face. “What are you up to? Try anything and I'll have Ancel beaten to within an inch of his life."
"You wouldn't hurt him. Give me the Crystal."
She watched without pity his struggle to read her, knowing that she only had a small window of opportunity. His abilities were fading in and out, the lucid periods growing shorter each time. She needed to do this now. The smooth facets of the Crystal caressed her palm.
"Say the words. Do it."
"The access code. Give it to me first."
Vin opened his shoulder pouch and pulled out a thin metal strip. “There. That will open and disable Ancel's bracelet. Now get on with it."
The sight of the code made her head spin. She steadied herself with a hand on the edge of the table and closed her fist around the Crystal. “First I break the Bond, then I'll give you absolution."
Mother of all things hear me. Please prevent this man's invasion of my mind. Carine watched Vin closely, waiting for a reaction to her thoughts.
"Well, are you just going to stand there? Get on with it."
He wasn't reading her. That could change at any moment. She struggled to quell the panic building inside of her.
Grant me the power to revoke this act of absolution within one cycle of the moon. And let this act be blocked from his mind so that he cannot read my intention.
"Calm down, Vin. You said the bonding could be broken with the Crystal. I've always been told that it was for life. What do I do?"
"You just give them back."
"It can't be that easy. They told us..."
"They tell you a lot of things. Tapped into an Abbess back in the day. You'd be surprised at the things they keep from you plebs. You did it without Ancel's consent, right? That should give you some leverage. Depends on the Crystal, of course. This one cost me a metaphorical arm and a leg. Will it do the job?"