by Abby Green
Blood was pumping to Ben’s erogenous zones and away from his brain. It was hard to think straight. He had to exert extreme control over his body. ‘It’s not a lie. It’s the most honesty I’ve ever felt in my life.’
Lia shook her head again and started to walk away, into the bedroom. The fact that she seemed to be unsteady on her feet, which showed how much he’d affected her, was no comfort. He wasn’t sure he was so steady himself.
She emerged minutes later, carrying the big designer bag that had come with the clothes he’d ordered. She walked quickly to the door, avoiding his eye.
An awful mix of panic and desperation made Ben say, ‘So? What? You’re saying that you want more now? After everything you’ve experienced?’
She stopped at the door, her hand on the knob. She turned around and something gripped Ben. She looked very young and delicate, her mouth swollen after his kiss. He wanted to feel it under his again. For ever.
She lifted her chin and in that moment she looked almost regal. ‘Maybe I do. Maybe I’m not as cynical as I thought. I’m certainly not as cynical as you. And, apart from anything else, I could never trust you.’ Then she said, ‘I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t go after my father.’
It took a second for her words to register, and then Ben felt like snarling. Clearly her opinion of him was still low, no matter what confidences they’d shared, or these recent revelations.
Tautly he assured her, ‘Your father won’t be hearing from me. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be a target for others.’
‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘But we’ll deal with that if and when it happens.’
Ben felt an almost violent surge of protectiveness—he wanted to deal with it if it happened. He didn’t want Lia to be the one standing between her father and some unscrupulous shark. And then he realised that she believed that shark was him.
She was opening the door before he could react and then she was gone...only the faintest perfume lingering behind her. Ben felt numb, in spite of the residual hum of arousal in his blood. The taste of her mouth was still on his tongue.
For a second he couldn’t breathe. He turned around and went to the window, his gaze latching on to the soaring buildings, reminding him of what was important. What was solid.
He would be true to his word. He wouldn’t go after her father. Ben’s mouth firmed. There were others he could target; he wouldn’t let this stand in his way. And as for the original plan to find a bride...? Nothing had changed.
The sooner he put Lia Ford into the past and got his life back on track, the better.
He waited until he was on his way to the airport a little later that morning before he made the call. When Elizabeth Young answered and realised who it was, she wasted no time in telling Ben what she thought of him going behind her back to pursue Lia anyway.
When she’d stopped speaking, Ben delivered his piece and then bit out, ‘Can you set me up on another date? Please?’
After a long moment she said, ‘You have one more chance, Mr Carter, but only because I know how hard it is for men like you to admit you were wrong and to say please.’
CHAPTER NINE
‘WOW, YOU’RE ACTUALLY admitting you want a marriage of convenience—that’s pretty cold.’ The woman Ben had had three very chaste dates with over the past two weeks—because he couldn’t bring himself to even think about kissing her—seemed to absorb that for a moment and then said, ‘I’d have to consider it—and see the prenuptial agreement, of course—but it’s certainly a possibility.’
Ben wasn’t even surprised that she wasn’t running away as if he was a two-headed monster. He’d dated enough hard-nosed and cynical women in New York to know that many wouldn’t balk at a proposal like this. To some it would be positively romantic.
The woman who sat on the opposite side of the dinner table to Ben, in one of Manhattan’s most exclusive restaurants, was stunningly beautiful. Blonde, and groomed to within an inch of her life. A UN interpreter.
She’d make a perfect wife—on paper, at least. But the fact that the union he sought was potentially within his grasp left him utterly unmoved. Because he knew it wasn’t going to happen.
He was haunted by someone else. Lia. He’d thought he could excise her from his life, move on. The reality was somewhat less...facile. It was downright impossible, in fact, and as the days passed it got worse. Not better. Even now he burned. For her. He would have her over any amount of suitable women and she could walk out on him as much as she liked...he’d always go after her.
A sense of bleak futility gripped him and he put down his napkin, saying, ‘I’m sorry about wasting your time, but actually this isn’t going to work.’
A look of alarm came over his date’s face. ‘Look, I’m willing to think it over.’
Ben felt grim. ‘I’m sorry, but, no.’
She put down her napkin too, and exasperation was evident on her face. She stood up and looked down at him. ‘If you want my advice, go and deal with whatever or whoever has you tied up in knots. If you still want to talk then, give me a call. I won’t wait around for ever, though,’ she added warningly, just before she walked out.
Ben threw down some money on the table, disgusted with himself, and left too, walking out into the cool night air, hands deep in the pockets of his overcoat.
He walked for block after block, until he found himself down near the wrecking site of an old building he’d just acquired. They’d knocked it down just that day. A hoarding emblazoned with his name blocked the view of the mound of rubble. The building had been two hundred years old and crumbling. But for the first time in his life he felt a pang. It had had history—people had lived and died there. It had witnessed lives. And now it was gone, reduced to nothing.
It would be replaced by something new, modern. A skyscraper, making the most out of a small space. Progress. Development. Moving on. So why did Ben feel so damn empty when at this point he usually felt nothing but satisfaction flowing through his veins?
He turned around, emitting something like a growl, making a couple passing near him look at him warily.
Oblivious to their reaction, Ben looked around him at all the darkened buildings, empty but for a few cleaners. They were solid—shining symbols of the resurrection and success he’d always strived to achieve, something he could literally reach out and touch—but ultimately they were no safer than the building he’d had demolished today. They were just as fragile, susceptible to being destroyed.
From here he could see the twin beams of light marking Ground Zero. If anything signified the fragility of structures and life, that did. But it also symbolised strength and fortitude and survival. A contradiction.
For the first time in his life Ben had a sense that even if he lost everything tomorrow he would be able to get back up and build it all again. After all, he’d started from nothing. He wasn’t his father—he would never collapse and disappear as he had done. Or his mother.
He felt something lift off his shoulders...some weight he hadn’t even noticed. He faced back the way he’d come, filled with a sense of resolve.
He knew he’d made a pact with Mancini, Trakas and Sheikh Al-Ghamdi, but suddenly what had mattered all those weeks ago didn’t any more. Ben knew now that he could only go one way and suffer the consequences...no matter what they might be.
A week later
Lia was standing at the window in her office, looking out over London broodingly. The weather matched her mood: grey and wet. She imagined Ben Carter in his beautiful villa in Bahia, seducing his latest possible wife, the stunning blonde she’d seen in pictures alongside breathless speculation that this woman might be the one to tame the mercurial tycoon.
A knife twisted in her guts and Lia sucked in a breath.
She couldn’t deny it any more. She couldn’t keep telling herself that she hadn’t really been falling for him. That it had just been hormones.
She was in love with the man. Deeply. Irrevocably. But she didn’t regret walking awa
y from him. No wonder she’d agreed to a marriage of convenience with Simon—it had been eminently safe! But a marriage of convenience with a man she had feelings for...? That would be pure torture. He only wanted her for the advancement she could offer to his reputation and business. Once again his sheer ruthlessness made her suck in a painful breath.
She scowled at her reflection in the glass, hating it that she looked wan and tired after sleepless nights full of X-rated dreams. She loved him—but she hated him for his betrayal and ruthless calculation.
Just then her mobile rang and she turned around, sighing deeply. She saw the name on the display and picked it up, forcing a smile so she didn’t sound as miserable as she felt.
‘Dad! Is everything okay?’
He’d been instructed to work from home this past week, to help his rehabilitation, but Lia knew he’d been impatient to get back into his office in town, where she worked too. Thankfully he’d never mentioned the tabloid splash about her and Ben, so he couldn’t have seen it.
They chatted for a few minutes and then he said, ‘Actually, I had a visitor this morning.’
Lia asked idly, ‘You did? Who?’
Her father cleared his throat and said, ‘Benjamin Carter, the American construction mogul...’
Lia went very still. She could feel her hand tightening on the phone and her blood draining south.
Her father was still talking, and she interrupted him in shock. ‘He did what?’
‘He asked for your hand in marriage. And we spoke about a possible merger... He’s right, you know, Lia. I’m not getting any younger or healthier. You have your own ambitions. I need to be practical...’
Lia sat down heavily in a chair, as shocked to hear him mention her ambitions as to hear about his visitor. ‘I’m so sorry, Dad. It’s all my fault... We met in New York and he pursued me... But he only ever wanted me because of your company, and he needs a wife, and—’ Lia closed her mouth abruptly before she said too much. She could feel the shock wearing off, to be replaced by hot, molten emotion. Ben had gone behind her back and done what she’d expressly asked him not to.
‘I see...’ said her father. ‘And how do you feel about him?’
‘I hate him,’ Lia said quickly, even as a voice said, Liar, liar, pants on fire.
‘Lia, look, I don’t think you really understand—’
‘No, Dad.’ She cut him off. ‘Listen, this is all my fault. I’m going to take care of it.’
She cut the connection before her father could say anything else. Then reached for her office phone and asked her PA to get her Ben’s UK office address.
No way was Ben Carter going to get away with this. The fact that she felt butterflies at the thought of seeing him again was as irritating as hell, but she ignored it.
* * *
Lia wasn’t quite prepared to see Ben striding towards her in the lobby of his very modern steel office building in central London. He looked fierce and intent, but stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw her.
‘Lia.’
For a bizarre second he looked at her as if she was a ghost. But then he blinked and said, ‘I was just coming to see you.’
She folded her arms over her chest and tried to ignore the pounding of her heart. ‘Well, I’ve saved you a trip. Did you seriously think I’d let this go?’
Ben frowned, and Lia noticed for the first time that he looked a little more unkempt than usual. And tired. Lines she hadn’t noticed before had appeared around his mouth.
Churlishly she figured it must be hard work, vetting a new wife. Even if he wasn’t in Bahia right now. A skewer pierced deep to remind her of how easy she’d been to seduce.
‘What did your father tell you?’
‘All I needed to know—which is that you came to him talking about mergers and acquisitions. And that you asked for my hand in marriage.’
Anger and renewed betrayal boiled over when she thought of revealing to him how much her father wanted her to settle down.
She stepped closer and hissed at him. ‘How could you? You deliberately took a confidence I shared with you and used it to your advantage.’
She only realised she was too close when his distinctive scent reached her nostrils, impacting on her starved hormones. But she wouldn’t back away now and show him that he affected her at all. She lifted her chin, challenging him.
‘I take it that you didn’t let your father explain everything I said, then?’
Now Lia blinked. Her father had been saying something when she’d cut him off. She ignored the dart of doubt. ‘I heard all I needed to. What possible other explanation could there be for your presence here in England?’
Ben’s eyes glittered. ‘What, indeed?’
Lia became aware that people were walking through the foyer and trying desperately not to look as if they were eavesdropping.
Ben obviously realised the same and cursed. ‘We can’t have this conversation here.’
He’d taken her by the arm and was walking towards a set of lifts before Lia could respond. She started to try to pull free. ‘I think we’ve said all we need to say,’ she hissed. ‘You need to leave me and my father alone—you’re not going to get what you want.’
But in spite of her words and efforts she was in the lift with him now, and he was pressing a button and they were ascending.
He let her go once they were moving and said grimly, ‘You’re not leaving until you hear what I have to say.’
Lia glared at him, struck temporarily mute as she was bombarded with memories of what had happened in a lift before. Mutual combustion. As if he were remembering the same thing Ben’s eyes darkened, and his gaze dropped to her breasts under her silk shirt before lazily coming back up again. Lia could feel damp heat bloom between her legs, mere seconds after meeting the man again. She wanted to scream at the control he still had over her body.
But now the doors were opening and she could see they were on the top floor. Ben all but pulled her out of the lift and marched her down a long corridor with glass cube offices either side. People tried frantically to look uninterested as they passed by. Lia debated screaming, but then imagined Ben putting his mouth on hers to keep her quiet...
He took her to an office at the end—the largest one—with wraparound views of London and the dark brown Thames snaking through the iconic buildings on either side. It was impressive.
But not as impressive as the man who shut the door behind him and planted himself in front of it, his powerful body blocking her exit. Damn him.
Lia backed away. ‘What the hell do you want, Mr Carter? I don’t have time for this.’
He smiled mirthlessly as he leant back against the door, hands in his trouser pockets. ‘I see we’ve gone back to Mr Carter.’
Lia folded her arms, feeling vulnerable in this enclosed space, even if it was all windows. ‘Well, what did you expect?’
A look of something like self-recrimination passed over Ben’s face, and then he pushed off the door and went to stand at the window, looking out. His back was broad, and Lia couldn’t help remembering that day in Bahia, when he’d been working on the roof of the villa, laughing and joking with Esmé’s husband.
She scowled. That man had never existed.
Ben spoke then, cutting through her acid recriminations. ‘I was once told by a colleague that my buildings had more heart than me, and he was right. I believed that buildings weren’t fallible and that my structures would keep standing even if I fell. They’re not weakened by emotions and human frailty, or greed and corruption. Except...that’s not true.’
Feeling a little disorientated, Lia said, ‘What do you mean?’
After a long moment Ben turned around to face her. There was something bleak in his eyes. ‘I was wrong to believe that my redemption lay in the structures I created and built.’
Lia shook her head, resisting the desire to understand him. ‘I really couldn’t care less about what you think of your buildings.’
Ben cursed softly a
nd ran a hand through his hair, leaving it mussed up. He pinpointed her with that blue gaze.
‘I’m trying to tell you...’ He stopped. And then he spoke more forcibly. ‘I did come to see your father to talk about the business, and to ask for your hand in marriage.’
Lia felt pain lance her. ‘I know. Which is why—’
‘But not in the way you think.’
She stopped talking and something started beating inside her. Butterflies again. Or her heart. Or something more dangerous...hope. Damn hope. It would survive a nuclear apocalypse.
‘What, then?’
Ben’s gaze seemed to be burning all the way into her. ‘I came to tell him that I want to marry his daughter because... I love her.’ He waited a beat, as if to let her absorb that, and then he said, watching her carefully, ‘But I told him that she wouldn’t believe me after what I did to her and so I had to somehow prove it to her. And the only way I knew how to do that was by asking your father to take me over. I want to prove to you that you’re more important to me than everything I’ve built up, because it all means nothing without you.’
Lia wasn’t sure if she was still standing. She struggled to understand, shaking her head faintly, ‘But...you let me leave. And you’ve been dating...that woman.’
Ben grimaced. ‘I was too proud to admit that you’d got to me on an emotional level. My life was never about emotions—it was about building structures that affirmed my place in the world. Rooting my security in something solid. I was in denial, determined to put you out of my mind and get on with my life.’
A rueful look flashed across his face then. ‘I was also terrified... Suddenly nothing felt relevant or important any more. I felt as if I was going mad. I’d only ever trusted myself, and yet I couldn’t trust my own instincts any more because every instinct was telling me to come back to you, to admit that my priorities had changed...completely. And nothing happened with that woman. She bored me to tears, and she wasn’t you.’