He looked at her with narrowed grey eyes. 'What about you?'
'Where did I fit into the scheme of things? Was I a salve to your ego?' She looked at him unblinkingly. 'You accused me of using you, but couldn't it have been the other way around?'
'What the hell are you talking about?' he rasped impatiently.
'A little old-fashioned retribution—twenty-two years too late. Did the fact that I was supposed to be Kenny's wife make me more attractive to you?' She was breathing hard in her agitation.
'Don't be ridiculous—'
'Am I being?' she derided. 'You despised me from the moment you met me, before then even, and yet in the end you had an affair with me!'
'Because I wanted you!'
'Was it?' her voice was shrill. 'Or was it because one day you might have had the pleasure of telling Kenny you slept with his ex-fiancé?'
Kyle was so stony-faced now he looked as if he were carved from granite. 'You can't really believe what you're saying,' he grated.
'I don't want to—'
'But you do anyway,' he pushed back his chair to stand up. 'I think I'd better go,' he bit out abruptly. 'We've obviously got nothing more to say to each other.'
'Kyle!' She turned anxiously to stop him as he reached the door.
He was pulling on his thick outdoor coat. 'It's better if I leave,' he repeated tautly.
She could see him leaving her life once again, this time angrily, with no chance of him ever coming back, and she couldn't let him do it. 'Kyle, don't go!' She stood up to rush across the room towards him, her arms going about his waist beneath his coat, her face pressed against the firm wall of his chest. 'Don't go,' she repeated raggedly, her lashes tear-wet as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.
For long agonising moments he continued to look down at her with hard uncompromising eyes, then he gave a muffled groan as his arms came about her and he buried his face in her hair.
'I'm sorry, so sorry,' she murmured between kisses, neither of them seeming able to get enough of each other.
'Forget it,' he dismissed. 'God, how I've wanted this!' His arms tightened about her.
It was too late to put a stop to this even if she wanted to, she knew that even as their mouths fused in an earth-shattering kiss that left them both breathless and wanting more. She would have to take the risk of Kyle discovering the changes in her body because she just didn't have the strength to deny him or herself.
His eyes were dark as he looked down at her. 'It is what you want too?' He kept a check on his desire as he waited for her answer.
Now was the time to say no, now was the time for her to retreat from any further physical contact with him. But even as she thought that her body melted against his. 'Yes,' she breathed. 'It's what I want too.'
'Thank God for that,' he groaned. 'You've been so damned distant since I arrived at the salon this afternoon that it's been like being with a stranger.'
'It's been almost three months, Kyle, I was a little shy with you.'
'Is that really what it was?'
'Take me to bed, Kyle,' she encouraged throatily. 'Make love to me.'
'I intend to, until you beg for mercy,' he promised.
They undressed each other heatedly once they reached her bedroom, eager for the feel and touch of each other, falling on to the bed in a tangle of arms and legs and questing mouths.
'You're more beautiful than ever,' Kyle told her gruffly as he cupped the weight of her breast in his hand, his warm lips moving moistly over the throbbing tip to suckle and gently bite on the sensitive nipple.
Shelby had heard that a woman's sexual pleasure was often heightened during the middle months of pregnancy, and she knew it was true of herself as spasms of pleasure began to wrack her body at his slightest touch. The pleasure exploded within her as Kyle's hand curved possessively over the warmth of her womanhood, and she buried her face against the pillow in her embarrassment.
Kyle's smile of satisfaction turned to one of concern as he saw the dismay on her face, moving up the bed to lay his head on the pillow next to hers. 'I've missed you too,' he told her throatily. 'In fact I've thought about making love to you for so long that I don't have any control left either!'
And that, coming from a man who was always in control, was an admission indeed. 'Has there been anyone else since—' she broke off, knowing that she should never have asked such a question. Kyle would either have to lie and say no, or tell the truth and hurt her unbearably. 'I'm sorry. Please don't—'
'There's been no one, Shelby,' he answered with such quiet sincerity she couldn't possibly have doubted him. 'You?'
'No,' she shook her head. 'Couldn't you tell?' she added self-derisively.
'Pleasuring your body is more important to me than any I know myself,' he assured her softly.
It was true that he had always been an unselfish lover, but even so she was a little shocked at her own quick response to what had been an exploratory caress. But her response continued through the night as Kyle claimed her again and again, held securely in his arms during moments of rest.
She awoke with the knowledge that Kyle knew nothing of their baby, that all of her fears had been for nothing. The only comment he had made was that she seemed to have put on a little weight, and he found that even more attractive. He slept on as she got out of bed, and remembering her own tiredness from the flight from America she sympathised with him, would have breakfast waiting for him when he did wake.
She had the coffee percolating and the bacon sizzling under the grill when Kyle came into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, only a light robe pulled on over her nakedness while he was fully dressed.
She looked at him shyly. 'So "His Majesty" has deigned to get up, has he?' she mocked him with the same words he had used to her so long ago.
His face relaxed into a smile as he pulled her into his arms to kiss her, his eyes languorous with satisfaction. 'Jet-lag,' he murmured against her lips.
'No excuse,' she teased.
'No,' he grinned down at her. 'I was a little unfair to you then, wasn't I?'
'More than a little!'
'All right, more than a little,' he sighed. 'By the way,' he added conversationally, 'I think the bacon is burning.'
'Oh no!' She turned to pull out the grill-pan, finding it was only a little crisper than she usually liked it. 'Go and sit in the other room while I finish cooking breakfast,' she instructed, knowing she wouldn't get anything done in his disturbing presence.
'I'd rather have a shave,' he touched the roughness of his chin ruefully. 'I couldn't see a razor in the bathroom.'
'Top drawer of the dressing-table,' she told him in a preoccupied voice. 'It's an electric one.'
'I could always grow a beard!'
'No, you were right at the cabin, it doesn't suit you,' she told him cheekily. 'Besides, my skin is too delicate to be scraped again while you grow it.'
'Top drawer you said,' he derided.
She hummed to herself as she finished cooking, cherishing the fact that he hadn't denied being about long enough to grow a beard. Once again she was going to take what time she could with him, would face the heartache all over again once he had gone back to Montana.
'Who's this?'
She turned at Kyle's rasping query, almost dropping the plates in her hand as she saw the photograph he held. She had forgotten pushing the photograph of Gavin in the top drawer of her dressing-table before leaving the bedroom this morning, knowing that if Kyle saw it he was sure to ask questions, and now he was doing exactly that.
Her expression remained bland as she carried the plates through to the dining-room. 'It's my husband, of course,' she answered lightly.
Kyle looked down at the photograph with narrowed eyes, and Shelby could see exactly what was going through his mind. He would see a good-looking man with greying blond hair and a lithe body, but a man obviously well into middle-age.
His expression was guarded as he looked up at her again. 'This man was your husband?'<
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'Yes,' she answered defensively. 'Your breakfast is getting cold,' she prompted.
He ignored the latter comment. 'He looks as if he were a lot older than you.'
She nodded. 'He was.'
'And from the salon, rich?'
She drew in a deep breath of resignation as she knew he was about to jump to the conclusion about her marriage that Kenny had been so certain he would. 'Yes,' she acknowledged huskily. 'He was very rich.'
'I see,' he bit out.
She looked up at him with angry eyes, eyes that sparkled like emeralds. 'What exactly do you see, Kyle?' she sighed resignedly.
'I'm sure you know,' he rasped, putting the photograph down with a clatter.
'Yes, I know,' she said bitterly. 'And I'm not even allowed to defend myself, am I? Kenny said—'
'Kenny?' he echoed sharply. 'What does he have to do with this?'
Her mouth twisted. 'Let's just say that your cousin knows you very well and leave it at that. I'm not about to explain myself or my marriage to you. Maybe once I would have tried, but not any more.' Not when he could then turn around and accuse her of using her pregnancy to trap him into marriage!
'You don't care enough, is that it?' he grated.
'Care?' she repeated scathingly. 'When did such an emotion enter our relationship?'
'Obviously it didn't,' he snapped.
'Enjoy the time we have together was the way you put it,' she reminded tightly.
'And I have,' he bit out.
'Have?' she echoed hoarsely.
'It's over,' he shrugged. 'Even in an affair there has to be a certain amount of honesty. Would you ever have told me about your husband if I hadn't accidentally seen that photograph?'
'There was nothing to tell,' she said stubbornly. 'And there still isn't.'
'You think so?' he rasped contemptuously. 'I don't happen to agree with you.'
'Gavin was a different part of my life, a part you have no right to judge when you don't know the—'
'Gavin?' he suddenly echoed sharply. 'Gavin O'Neal was your husband?'
She flushed. 'You've heard of him?' It was a possibility, a very good one, that she hadn't even considered.
'I don't think there can be many people who haven't,' he said bitterly. 'God, woman, he was a legend in the business world.'
'And I was his wife,' she nodded.
Kyle shook his head dazedly. 'It's amazing.'
'What is?' she asked warily.
'That you were going to marry Kenny after being with a man like that!'
'I only marry for love,' she told him stiffly. 'And for a time I thought I loved Kenny.'
'And what do you go to bed for?' Kyle asked contemptuously.
She breathed deeply at the insult. 'Pleasure!' she snapped resentfully. 'What about you?'
'The same,' he rasped. 'And this has just stopped being that. I'm no more willing to become a rich widow's plaything than Kenny was. At least he came to his senses enough to realise that!'
'His decision not to marry me had nothing to do with sense,' she flared.
'What do you mean?' His eyes were narrowed.
'Ask Kenny,' she dismissed. 'And if by some miracle he should actually tell you the truth, don't come back to me with apologies,' she bit out forcefully.
'Apologies?' he questioned disbelievingly.
'Yes,' she snapped. 'And I won't be interested in hearing them!'
'I'll never make them!'
She didn't cry once he had left, didn't feel anything. Last night had been an illusion, a beautiful one, and that was all she wanted to remember of Kyle's visit to London.
CHAPTER TEN
Despite the doctor's instructions she knew she couldn't stay in her flat all day, knowing that today of all days it would do more harm than good, that she would only brood about the way she and Kyle had parted. Telephoning Gavin's lawyer she made arrangements to see him later that morning.
'It's very unusual,' Hugh Prewitt frowned at her suggestion as he sat across the desk from her.
'So are the circumstances, surely?' she mused, knowing she had shocked the poor man a few minutes ago when she had told him of her condition. An elderly man with kind brown eyes he had been good to her both before and after Gavin's death, and what she was telling him now must be a little disturbing to him.
He cleared his throat noisily. 'I suppose they are,' he acknowledged. 'But Mr O'Neal's will didn't cover such a contingency.'
'I'm not surprised,' she said self-derisively. 'All I want to know is, can it be done?'
'Well of course. But—'
'Then do it,' she told him firmly, knowing this was what she wanted.
'Have you thought about this properly?' the lawyer prompted softly. 'Considered everything carefully?'
'Everything,' she nodded. 'Gavin loved me and I loved him, but I certainly don't expect him to support another man's child.'
'But transferring the money back to his sisters will be an irreversible process that you may one day regret.'
'I don't think so, Hugh,' she assured him gently, realising how upsetting this must be for him. 'I may not be getting married, but I will have my own family, and I can't expect Gavin's money to support that family.'
'I'm sure he—'
'I know,' she acknowledged quietly. 'Gavin wouldn't have minded. But I do.'
'You intend to seek support from the child's father?'
'No!'
The lawyer frowned again. 'Under English law you are entitled to—'
'Claiming support means giving the father rights I don't intend him to have,' she dismissed hardly. 'Besides, I don't need it.'
'Not at this moment in time, no,' he agreed. 'But one day perhaps—'
'If that day ever comes then I'll do something about it. In the meantime I want you to return all Gavin's money to his sisters. That should please them, I'm sure,' she added dryly.
'Perhaps. But as your adviser in this I have to tell you that I feel strongly—'
'Thank you for your concern, Hugh,' she smiled. 'But my mind is made up.'
'I can see that,' he sighed. 'Then all I can do is wish you good luck for the future. I hope everything turns out as you would wish it to.'
So did she. Although now that she had disposed of Gavin's fortune she felt as if at least part of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She had known for some time that she would have to make that move, it had just been a question of getting in to see Hugh and putting the wheels in motion.
While she had been just Gavin's widow she had felt legally bound by his will to at least keep the money in her bank account even if she hadn't touched a penny of it. But as the mother of Kyle's child the situation changed drastically. And neither she nor the baby would starve on the profit made from the salon.
'And just what do you think you're doing here?' Jenny demanded when she walked into the salon after lunch.
Shelby gave her a serene untroubled smile. 'I've come to check up on my business.'
'You should be home in bed!'
'Now there's a thought,' she mocked.
'Shelby—'
'Jenny!' She gave her friend a pointed look, the teasing gone momentarily.
The other woman sighed. 'Well at least sit down.' She encouraged Shelby to occupy one of the plush armchairs that were scattered about the salon.
'I'd rather stand,' she refused. 'How's business today?'
'Booming, as usual. Shelby, don't you think—'
'No, I don't,' she answered firmly. 'I need to keep busy today, and this seems as good a place as any.'
Jenny frowned. 'Dinner didn't go well last night?'
'It was breakfast this morning that didn't go well,' she dismissed.
'Oh? Oh!' Jenny said again as realisation dawned. 'Should you be doing that sort of thing in your condition?'
'Why not?' she mocked. 'It was doing "that sort of thing" that got me into this condition!'
'I must say, you seem in a good mood.' Jenny looked worried.
'A good night of lust and debauchery is apt to have that effect on me,' she teased.
'Shelby!' Jenny looked about them selfconsciously, the salon full to capacity as usual, several people sitting close enough to hear their conversation.
She laughed softly. 'Don't look so shocked,' she smiled. 'I'm told everyone does it.'
'But not everyone talks about it in such a public place.' Jenny hustled her to the back of the salon and into her office. 'If you want something to do then sit behind your desk and look beautiful,' she said firmly.
The paperwork she had left on her desk the day before kept her occupied for the rest of the afternoon, not giving her time to think of the fact that Kyle was probably concluding his business as quickly as possible so that he might return to Montana.
It was late afternoon when she heard the sound of raised voices coming from the salon, getting up at once to find out what was going on. She met one of her manicurists outside. 'What's happening?' she demanded to know.
'He came into the salon a few minutes ago, and when Jenny tried to get him to leave he started ranting and raving—'
'He?' Shelby groaned. It just wasn't their week! Her customers certainly wouldn't appreciate a man seeing them in some of the preparation it took for them to keep their looks. And this one sounded as if he might actually be drunk.
'Jenny's trying to calm him down,' Sally looked worried. 'But without much effect.'
Shelby could tell that as the raised voices continued to be heard, hurrying outside to try and stop the noise herself. The scene that met her eyes stopped her in her tracks. Kyle stood just inside the salon, a disreputable bunch of flowers in his hand, his face flushed as he and Jenny shouted at each other across the room.
'Kyle?' she spoke loud enough to be heard.
He turned glazed eyes on her, swaying slightly. 'I knew you were here. She,' he looked accusingly at Jenny, 'tried to tell me you weren't.'
Shelby's eyes widened as she realised something. 'You're drunk,' she gasped.
'That's what I've been trying to tell him,' Jenny cut in angrily.
'I don't need telling,' he snapped. 'I know exactly what I am.'
'I was only trying to stop him coming through and upsetting you,' Jenny looked at her pleadingly.
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