Approaching the servo now, Elsie remembered Mr Reid and his black and gappy teeth and the way his belly pushed his oily overalls out further than Santa Claus’s. She wondered if the new owners would be like him.
‘I mean really, who would want a service station and what, six hundred acres of ordinary farmland that backs onto the town sewage plant and tip?’ her mother mused. Elsie looked to the flat-plain horizon where the sewage ponds could only just be seen from the highway. When the wind blew in a certain direction, the waft blanketed the township in a pall of stench. Her father and his council had been trying for years to do something about it, but funds were always too limited. The outdated ponds and their misplacement had been a thorn in his side since he was first elected as mayor when Elsie was just a newborn.
Elsie’s cheeks turned pink as her mother slowed the Volvo and blatantly stared at a beanpole of a man directing a truck laden with fresh bluestone into the yard. He had jet-black hair and broad shoulders beneath his brown flannelette shirt. A slim woman in bib-and-brace overalls was giving a hefty hoick to one of Chopper’s old rubber-tyre swans as she threw it up and over into a big skip. She wore her thick golden hair in plaits and a red bandana over her head, and raised her work-gloved hand as they passed. Elsie looked about for children, but there was no sign. Timidly she raised her hand to the woman and the woman smiled.
Elsie slumped back in her seat.
‘At least they seem to be cleaning the place up a bit,’ Mrs Jones said, speeding up.
Elsie bit her bottom lip, wishing she’d seen the children. On they drove, past the pale brick wall and flagless flagpoles that welcomed visitors to Culvert. The wall bore a rusted collection of metal letters that read Cul ert we comes yo .
They passed the thick trunks of date palms that lined the war memorial stretch, then the sports pavilion and footy ground, and the old single-furrow plough mounted out the front of the showgrounds, before they pulled into Morton’s Abattoir and Butchery.
Normally her parents only drove past the meatworks on their way to her father’s bland red-brick council chambers and its tasteless pine-tree-stump sculpture of a man with a shovel. Elsie looked at the man every time Sarah drove her to school in the barely beating heart of the township; she thought he looked a lot like an alien from Doctor Who. Stopping instead at the abattoir felt really weird.
From behind the tank stand Tara was waving and beckoning wildly to Elsie with her round face all aglow. Elsie’s mother made a beeline to the ramshackle office, so it was easy for Elsie to sneak away. She followed Tara, her skin prickling with excitement and fear. Tara was like that. She made you feel excited. And happy. Like anything, even scary stuff, was possible.
Now, watching Tara psyching herself up for her ‘poo trick’, Elsie was pretending not to be squeamish; she laughed nervously as Tara began to draw the guts up out of the bucket. They were pastel pink, like Elsie’s shoes, with grey slithery bits. Other parts were a deep dark red, like the fading velvet curtains in the Grassmore ballroom. There were also dull beiges, like her mother’s ‘classic neutrals’. Elsie never knew there was so much colour inside a sheep. She wondered if her inside bits were the same.
Finally Tara found what she was looking for and, with a flourish, started to draw the intestines up and up, like silk ribbons from a magician’s hat. Elsie giggled.
‘Ta da!’ Tara said, when at last the bowel end of the intestines arrived. ‘We have struck it rich!’
Laying the bowel on the concrete, Tara began to manoeuvre the dark shapes that were encased within the intestines with her stick.
‘What is it?’ gasped Elsie, her cheeks red and her breath shallow.
‘Poo sausages.’ And with a squeegee action, Tara squelched what Elsie recognised as sheep pellets of dung through the translucent casing and out the soft pink puckered disc of skin at the end. Fascinated, Elsie sucked in a breath before pinching her nose.
‘Isn’t it amazing?’ Tara said, her green eyes bright with joy.
‘Tara!’ boomed a savage voice.
In unison the little girls startled and spun around.
‘You little shit! You bin playin’ in the guts agin.’
Elsie looked up at the large shape of a man with arms as thick as tree trunks, his skin covered in an angry swirl of tattoos. His crimson jumper was small so his giant belly spilled out over a cracked black belt studded with silver like a pig-dog’s collar. It was Tara’s ‘stepfather’, Dwaine Morton. Next to him stood Elsie’s mother, clutching her handbag close, her navy cardigan drawn tightly over her Liberty floral shirt, a frown on her face as she glanced from the strewn offal on the concrete to the girls and back again.
‘Eleanor! What on earth? Look at your shoes!’ She reached forwards and with long graceful fingers pincered Elsie’s arm. ‘Come along! Go sit in the car while Mr . . . while the man loads our sides of lamb.’
Dwaine Morton smiled a grimace at Elsie as she passed. ‘Oh, wait up,’ he said. ‘I think that little turd Tara has flicked your daughta with a bit of sheep shit, right there on her face.’
Before her mother could say anything, the man was reaching into his pockets with thick sausage fingers that had H-A-T-E tattooed on them. With a hanky that smelled of animal fat and old blood, Dwaine swiped at Elsie’s face.
‘Oh, sorry,’ he said gruffly. He stooped closer when he realised the sheep shit wasn’t moving: instead a large dark puckered mole sat above the right side of the kid’s perfect lips. ‘I didn’t realise . . .’ His words drifted off into the morning air.
Elsie absorbed the sickening feeling of mortification and let her mother steer her away to the car.
‘It was so much nicer when old Cartwright did the killing for us at home,’ her mother muttered as she got into the car and slammed the door crossly. ‘What rough people. I loathe having to come here. But your father said we can’t spare the jackaroo any more to do the meat rations.’ She sighed and turned the ignition.
In the back seat Elsie fingered the mole on her face: a rubbery stool, like the old leather pouf her father propped his socked feet up on when he read The Land. She imagined an ugly warty toad sitting on the mole. With her fingertips she combed her straight hair to cover it and avoided the reflection in the rear-vision mirror of her face and her mother’s perfectly lipsticked, unsmiling lips. They never smiled.
For a moment Elsie wished the mole was a scar, caused by the flick of a stockwhip or a branch slashing her as she cantered on Jasper through the garden. A scar would be like a medal worn on her very own flesh. Like the diggers who visited the school for Anzac Day with their medals of war. They had told the class there was no such thing as winning in war. Nobody won. But the medals were important to the old men. It showed they wore scars of war, even if they hadn’t had their bodies hurt. At the time Elsie hadn’t understood, but now she thought she did. Yes, better if the mole was a scar. But the mole was a mole and it was ugly. Uglier than anything Elsie had ever seen.
Sometimes it grew thick hairs and it was painful to pull them out, as if they were rooted from deep within the bones of her upper jaw. Elsie swallowed the sickness the mole caused into her belly and let it settle there. She wished her mother would say something comforting, but her parents never mentioned the mole. Elsie knew she would be as pretty as a Disney princess without it. She knew her parents knew it too. Everywhere she went she let them down with the mole. Adults stared at it in shock, but said nothing. The kids at school teased her. That was why she and Tara were friends. To the other kids, Tara was the giant ugly toad and Elsie was the strange warty witch. She swivelled in her seat so she could see out the back of the car, over the cardboard boxes of meat now stacked in the back.
As they drove away from the killing shed, Elsie saw Dwaine dragging Tara by the hair to the old house. It was a house whose love seemed to leak from the holes in the walls and spill onto the dead lawn, crawling away to other families. Elsie was sorry Tara lived there. The last thing she saw before the car turned onto the main s
treet was Tara’s face, red and blotchy, crying, as her stepfather half dragged her up the steps. He raised his bloods-mattered steel cap and kicked her fair on the backside before hurling her past the screen door Tara’s mother held open with one gigantic outcast arm. Elsie felt a quiet distrust for the world settle in her core. Poor Tara. She had little chance of becoming fart-most. She had little chance of becoming anything with a life like that. And Elsie realised that she would never be famous either. Not with an ugly mole on her face, and parents like hers.
Two
In the back seat of the Volvo Elsie cupped her hand over her mouth and with her other hand grasped for the sheepskin seat cover in front of her.
‘Stop! Stop the car!’ she called urgently to her mother, gagging as she did.
The memory of the gut bucket, the smell of the raw fatty meat in the boxes behind her, the vision of Tara getting hauled by the hair and the lingering feeling of the grimy hanky on her face swelled in her stomach and came rolling upwards in a giant heave and in the form of Saturday-morning baked beans on toast.
Her mother glanced in the rear-vision mirror and hit the brakes in panic. If her pristine car interior was forever marred by the faint odour of vomit, lifts for Mrs Morgan could become a potential humiliation. Sarah Jones began screaming, ‘Get out! Get out!’
Elsie tumbled from the Volvo, vomiting violently onto the grassy verge outside the roadhouse.
‘Aw! Cool!’ came the shrill voice of a boy, followed by another shriek of, ‘Grab the tape! Let’s measure how far she projected that!’
Elsie gave another splutter and up came the coarse edges of toast crusts. She glanced up, eyes watering. Was she seeing double? There before her were two stick boys. All bones and long limbs. They had identical shocks of black sticky-up curly hair and boots that looked five times too big for them and pants and jumpers that looked five times too small so their mismatching socks showed and their sleeves almost came to their elbows. She blinked again.
‘Oh, wow! Amazing. Just amazing. The digestive system is extraordinary!’ said one.
‘What time did you eat breakfast?’ demanded the other. ‘Most of those beans are still whole! Don’t you chew? Get the tape!’
The first boy ran to Elsie’s grubby, now-vomit-stained ballet shoes. ‘Here. Stand on this,’ he said, inserting the tape under her toe and extending it out towards the last chunk of vomit seeping into the ground and causing great excitement for the meat ants in the roadside tufted grass. ‘Wow. One point five metres. Spectacular. She’s beaten your personal best, Zac.’
‘Can you see any bile action on the beans?’ asked the other.
Elsie gave another retch, thinking she would faint, then she felt her mother’s hands on her shoulders.
‘Eleanor, get in the car,’ Sarah growled.
‘Zac! Amos!’ came a woman’s light voice. ‘Leave the poor girl alone! Can’t you tell she isn’t well?’
The woman, wearing gumboots with a bright purple singlet under her denim overalls, made her way over, dragging off her leather work gloves.
She extended a hand towards Elsie’s mother. ‘Guinevere Smith,’ she said with a perfect smile, ‘Gwinnie for short.’
‘Sarah Jones, from Grassmore Estate,’ Elsie’s mother said, but without the smile. ‘Just along the way.’ She took the woman’s hand as if it was germ-riddled.
‘Is your little one OK?’ Gwinnie tilted her head with genuine concern and sincere enquiry. She laid a hand on Elsie’s forehead and made soothing sounds. ‘Shall I get her some water?’
‘No. Thank you. We’re not far from home. She’s fine.’
‘Boys,’ Gwinnie said, frowning a little, ‘have some empathy! Stop making notes!’ She stooped and addressed Elsie directly, her hand rubbing healing into her bony back. ‘I’m sorry, darling. They are a pair! Mad professors from the day they were born. Just like their father.’ She turned and glanced towards the beanpole man who was now inserting his index finger into his mouth then holding it up to the wind with a considered expression on his long lean face. She rolled her eyes and smiled. She felt kind to Elsie, the way a mother should feel.
‘I didn’t catch your name, dear?’
‘Elsie,’ she said quietly, trying to let her hair cover her face, looking down to the ground where the vomit pooled, misery churning within her.
‘Actually it’s Eleanor,’ Sarah Jones corrected. Elsie stiffened. She hated her mother calling her that. Gwinnie ignored Sarah.
‘I don’t like my full name either. Elsie is a good choice. Such a pretty name. And such a pretty girl. Your mother is very lucky to have a beautiful daughter like you.’
Elsie felt rather than saw her mother’s eyes roll at that. She hoped Sarah wouldn’t be rude. Perhaps she should try and get back in the car now rather than make her mother impatient.
‘Mum,’ said one of the twins. ‘Mum!’ The boy was indicating his own face and vigorously miming wiping it.
‘Shush, Zac,’ Gwinnie said.
‘But Mum, she has some spew on her lip. A bean.’
‘Shush!’ said Gwinnie, flushing with embarrassment. She leaned over to her son and whispered. The boy’s face took on a look of fascination. He stepped towards Elsie, trying to peer through the blonde strands of hair that covered her face to the mole.
‘Really?’ the boy said, looking back at his mother. ‘It’s huge! Bigger than a baked bean! Like a broad bean, only black.’
Before Elsie or her mother could react, Mr Smith called out from the shadows of the car garage: ‘Zac! Amos! Have you been trying to light your poo again in my workshop? Boys! Come here this instant!’
The two boys looked guiltily at each other before scampering away to their father, explanations already tumbling from their lips.
Gwinnie smiled and raised her eyebrows at Sarah Jones, who was clearly too flummoxed by this unconventional family to summon her usual ice.
‘Those boys! Really!’ Gwinnie said brightly. ‘We encourage their creativity, but some days I wonder!’
‘I’d best get Eleanor home. Nice to meet you, Mrs Smith,’ Elsie’s mother said formally.
‘You too, Mrs Jones.’ Then Gwinnie laughed a silver-tone laugh. ‘Ha! Smith and Jones! How common and everyday we sound. How about you call me Gwinnie?’ She stooped to Elsie again. ‘I hope you feel better soon, Elsie. And one day you might like to come round and play with the boys. You are always very welcome here.’
‘Common indeed,’ said Elsie’s mother as she slammed the door of the Volvo, clicked on her seatbelt and began to drive away. ‘The sooner I get you out of this town and away to boarding school the better!’
Elsie hugged her arms about herself. Boarding school. She would rather be trapped in this smelly town than that. Better crappy Culvert where you could taste your own poo in the air, thought Elsie, than a horrible boarding school.
As they drove the few kilometres to Grassmore and turned onto the long drive, Elsie couldn’t shake the image of the two stick boys out of her head. Had they really lit their own poo? she wondered, fascinated. She giggled. Somehow, despite the bleakness of her morning, Elsie felt relief that the strange boys were here. It was as if the stars had aligned over her hometown. Whether the folks of Culvert wanted it or not, the Smith twins had arrived.
Three
‘But I’m in Grade Six now!’ Rage flushed Elsie’s cheeks as she stood in front of her mother, holding Jasper’s reins. ‘You said I could when I was in Grade Six!’
It was Saturday afternoon and the English-style country garden at Grassmore was vibrating gently with bees. Beyond the box hedge, the giant white weatherboard homestead seemed extra dozy in the summer sun, surrounded by an oasis of shady green and dabbed with vibrant flowers in neatly mulched beds. Elsie could never understand why the garden was so lush and the frazzled farm, criss-crossed by taut fences and dusty red tracks, was so dry. Lately she had begun thinking of the farm as ‘Grassless’ rather than ‘Grassmore’. And on and on her father went about the ov
erdraft. On and on he went about having to work three jobs as farmer, councillor and mayor just to pay for it all. On and on went the lunchtime ABC radio country hour about the slump in grain prices. And on and on everyone went about the drought.
Elsie swiped a fly from her face as Jasper took the bit in his mouth so he could snatch at the roses blooming a second time round in a swathe of blinding summertime white.
‘Because,’ Sarah Jones answered crossly, smacking the pony’s nose, ‘I changed my mind.’
Jasper laid his ears flat and tossed his head up and down in annoyance.
‘But Muuuum?’ Elsie let Jasper reach for another fat bloom.
Sarah Jones groaned and turned her back, making her way over to the compost bin beside the stone garage, tipping out the deadheads from her basket. ‘Why do you always answer back? You wear me out.’ Her mother thudded the compost bin lid on angrily. A sun-drenched Marbles lifted one ear slightly, then settled back to snoring on the mown grass.
‘Why can’t I?’
‘Because I said, Eleanor. Because it’s potentially dangerous. Because it makes us look like we can’t afford to drive you. Because what would the other mothers think of me? We can’t have the councillor-mayor’s daughter out wandering the streets like that.’
‘I wouldn’t be wandering the streets!’ Elsie protested, thinking the ‘other mothers’ were only Mrs Featherington and Mrs Morgan. ‘I only want to ride to school! Now I’m twelve, I’m big enough. It’s only a short way. Tara said she’ll walk with me.’
‘Tara,’ her mother scoffed. ‘Now that’s small comfort. I suppose the walking might be good for her. Her mother ought to be ashamed of herself, letting a child get so fat.’
‘But Mum —’
‘I can’t see why you won’t keep the company of more appropriate girls. What’s wrong with Scarlett Featherington? Or Tilly Morgan? You seemed to get along well at the last pony club meet. And they were good to you at the Wilsons’ tennis picnic.’
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