by Amy Daws
I tell her about the Adamsons wanting me to be their point person indefinitely and she brushes it off since she knows I’m coming back in the next couple months. I still don’t have the nerve to tell her my plan, so I let it lie for now. She’s more than willing to have me work with them exclusively while I’m still in London. I’m excited at the prospect of going back out to their house and working with them again.
Liam continues to text me and is getting a little disgruntled about my lack of response to hanging out with him. He told me he wasn’t going to make it easy on me and he was right. When I finally finish my proposal and email it off to Val, I decide to throw Liam a bone and invite him over for movie night with the roommates. That should be safe enough.
As I’m picking out my clothes for what Frank calls family flick night, I’m torn between dressing for comfort and dressing for Liam. I choose somewhere in between and grab a soft pair of jeggings and a thin white tee. I slip on a bright pink bra, easily seen through the tee, and head downstairs. It’s a little provocative, but fashionable looking and comfortable. I’ve worn this several times before so I don’t feel like I’m calling too much attention to myself. Leslie would be the first one to call me out for trying too hard.
I come bounding down the stairs as Frank appears out of the dining room with a bowl of popcorn in hand.
He tosses a few kernels into his mouth and says, “Like your tits in that top.”
I laugh and say, “I thought you hated my wobbly bits.”
“I do…when they are naked. I can appreciate a good see-through top as long as you have undergarments on.”
I finally take in what Frank is wearing and I burst out laughing.
“What the hell do you have on?”
“What the bloody hell is wrong with it?” he barks back at me.
He’s standing in a solid red onesie pajama outfit with footies and everything.
I shake my head and watch him head into the living room and burst out laughing again when I read the back.
On the top it says: O.C.D. And then below that: Obsessive Cumming Disorder. He adds a little wiggle to his walk and I run into the kitchen to grab a pop, laughing.
I hear a knock on the front door and run to grab it, but Frank’s already there greeting Liam in all his onesie glory.
As Liam comes in the door, Theo steps in right behind him. This should be interesting.
Frank leads them into the living room just as Leslie comes flouncing down the stairs singing loudly, “faaaamily fliiiick niiiiiight.” She’s attempting unsuccessfully to get really high on the last note and I shoot daggers at her to stop.
She’s dressed head to toe in the same PJs as Frank, only hers are cheetah print. I rush over to her and grab her shoulders, roughly facing her toward the living room so I can look at her back before anyone else can. Please don’t let them say Obsessive Cuming Disorder on the back. Please don’t let them say Obsessive Cuming Disorder on the back! Thank fucking God, the back is blank.
Liam and Theo are looking into the foyer at us where I’m holding Leslie from behind and I feel Leslie’s whole body tense as her eyes land on Theo.
She quickly turns in my arms and looks at me with wide eyes. I silently push her back toward the stairs and follow behind her as quickly as I can, but the bitch is fast. Apparently, Theo is faster and comes bounding past me, quickly following right behind Leslie into her bedroom.
“Theo!” I shout, but the door is slammed in my face.
“Liam! Frank!” I shout down the stairs and they both come running up the steps as I press my ear to the door to listen and make sure Leslie is okay.
“Is she okay in there with him?” I bark at Liam accusingly as Julie and Mitch come out of their bedroom hand in hand.
“Yes! Of course she is!” Liam answers back confused.
“Well, it would have been nice if you would have told me you were bringing him, for God’s sake! This is a great way to get uninvited from our house ever again, Liam!” I yell at him, pounding my finger into his chest. I can’t help it. Theo just manhandled his way into Leslie’s bedroom uninvited and I feel completely helpless right now.
“She’s fine, Finley. Theo wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s…,” he pauses, looking nervous for a moment.
“What?” Frank and I both say in unison.
“He fucking loves her, I think!” Liam says, running his hand through his thick blonde hair on top of his head.
“Someone loves the Lezbo?” Frank says with his jaw slightly dropped.
“She’s a lesbian?” Liam asks.
“No!” Frank and I both shout in unison again.
I press my ear up to the door and hear soft murmuring between Leslie and Theo.
“Leslie! Are you okay in there, hon?” I ask, knocking at the same time.
“Umm, uhh…yes!” she yells back through the door. “We’ll be down in a minute!”
I breathe a sigh of relief and glare at Liam. Julie, Mitch, and Frank shrug their shoulders and head downstairs.
“I’m sorry!” Liam says, looking at me with puppy dog eyes. “I really didn’t think he’d march in like he owns the place.”
I shake my head and move past him to head downstairs. He grabs my hand and pulls me backwards into his chest.
“Hey,” he breathes into my ear. “I haven’t even had a chance to say hello to you yet.”
“Hello,” I reply lightly, enjoying the feel of his warm breath on my neck. He smells awesome, like a fresh laundry detergent.
I feel his lips gently kissing my shoulder and moving their way up my neck.
“Liam,” I shake my head back and forth, feeling a shiver prickle all over my skin.
“Finley,” he growls into my neck and nips at my ear.
Goosebumps crawl straight out from the spot he nips me and I break away from his grasp.
“Friends, remember?” I say, holding my hands up defensively toward him.
He scrunches his lips to the side, “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I know, I’m sorry, but it is what it is. Let’s go downstairs. It’s family flick night for goodness’ sake.”
I start to make my way down the steps and Liam rushes up behind me, throwing his arm around my shoulders playfully. He growls in my ear, nipping at it again. I giggle into his touch and my heart hits the floor as my eyes glance down to the foyer.
Dead in my tracks, I stop. Everything around me blurs as Liam continues his descent and looks up at me, grabbing my hand. When he takes in the frozen expression on my face, I hear him say my name, barely. I can barely hear him because blood is rushing in my head. I can feel my heart beat pulsing in my eyes as I begin to feel faint.
Brody is standing in the foyer with a small suitcase in hand. Brody. In. London. Liam drops my hand and turns to look at what I’m looking at. I hear Leslie and Theo come down the steps behind me. They stop beside me when they see me frozen in place. Leslie gasps as she sees Brody.
A steely expression smears over Brody’s face and I see the muscle in his jaw tick rapidly. Even in his obvious anger, he looks incredible. His brown curly hair is longer than I’ve ever seen it and I love it. My hands twitch instinctively, imagining what it feels like between my fingers. He has a thin five o’clock shadow, likely from a long flight. Holy shit. Brody is in London.
“Finley?” Liam says my name again and I can hear him a little better this time. “You alright?” he says to me, coming up to stand just one step below me.
“Yeah Finley,” Brody’s voice cuts through the foyer loudly and authoritatively. “Are you alright?”
He smiles, meanly. I’ve never seen such a mean and nasty smile before. I get a nervous feeling at his tone. Liam turns his head and looks down at Brody and I can feel tension building in his shoulders.
My eyes fill with tears at the realization of Brody being here in London.
“What are you doing here?” I ask Brody, unable to move from the step I’m on.
“I wish I fucking knew,”
he spits out, shaking his head. He turns to walk out the door.
“Brody!” I cry out, but he doesn’t turn around. He stomps out the door, slamming it closed behind him.
I rush down the stairs but Liam grabs my hand.
“Let me go, Liam!” I cry urgently.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay, Finley,” Liam says with desperation in his eyes.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay. Just let me go.”
He releases me and I ignore Leslie calling my name behind me. All I care about right now is Brody and getting to him before he leaves. Seeing Brody again awakens all the old feelings that have always been there for him. I don’t care about being barren or not having an us baby. I care about Brody. As I sprint through the foyer, images of Brody and I flash through my brain. Images of happiness, laughter, lightness, us.
“Brody!” I screech as I burst out the front door, my voice cracking with emotion.
I run down the outside steps and see Brody crossing the street toward the skate park.
“Brody!” I shout his name again and see him tense and stop on the corner right by a set of bleachers.
Traffic is zooming down the road; I begin to run into the street but stop quickly as a car honks.
“Finley! Be careful!” Brody shouts out.
Oh my God, his voice, Brody’s voice. It sounds like Brody again. Loving. Protecting. Us. I need to get to him. I need to touch him. I dance on my feet, waiting for a clearing in traffic, glancing at him as he watches me. My eyes fill with tears as it pains me to be so near him and not be able to touch him.
His steely expression softens as he watches me. Finally, there’s a gap in the traffic and I sprint across the road as fast as humanly possible. Without slowing down, I run directly into his arms, smashing into his soft familiar chest.
His arms instinctively wrap around me and hold me off the ground.
“Brody,” I cry his name this time, relishing in this moment of him being here in London and having my arms around him again. I slide my face along his rough cheek so I’m face to face with him. I blink quickly, making sure he’s actually here right now. Without waiting for permission I connect our lips and kiss him with all the ferocity I can muster.
I kiss him and open my heart up, hoping he can feel and understand just how much I’ve missed him and how wrong I’ve been for breaking us. His grip around my back tightens and his long arms nearly wrap around me twice as he squeezes me as close to him as he can.
I release my hands from behind his neck and bring them to squeeze his cheeks while reverently rubbing my thumb over the stubble. Brody is kissing me back. He’s kissing me back hard. Nobody kisses like Brody. Nobody. How could I ever think I wanted to kiss another man ever again? He brings his hand up to my face and runs all four fingers from my forehead down to my jaw. When that doesn’t satisfy him enough, he breaks the kiss and I gasp for breath, flashing my eyes desperately from each of his eyes, unsure which one I want to look at more. I’m desperate for his lips to be on mine. He ignores my silent plea, sets me down and runs his fingers from either side of my forehead to my neck letting his thumbs drag over my lips. My eyes close as he familiarizes himself with my face.
“Is this really you, Finley?” Brody croaks, his voice thick with emotion.
“Yes, Brody. I’m so sorry. I’m so…” I begin to cry and he kisses me, swallowing up my pain. I kiss him back and throw all my pain into my kiss. I don’t allow myself to think of the future or what I’m going to tell him or what we’re going to do. I just kiss him like I’ve never kissed him before.
I break the kiss this time and reach out to thread my hands with his. His hands feel warm, soft and dry. Firm and comforting like always. I release them and place his hands back on my face kissing both his palms first.
“God, Finley,” Brody groans, leaning his forehead against mine, softly stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. I thread my fingers through his thick curly hair and pull gently.
“I wasn’t sure I’d ever get you like this again,” he whispers, his voice cracking as we breathe each other in.
“I’m here, Brody. I’m so sorry. I’ve missed you so much,” I cry, trying to catch my breath.
I press my lips to his once more for a softer kiss this time. More comforting. More soothing.
“Will you come inside?” I ask, pulling only a centimeter away from his mouth. I’m nervous what his answer will be because I’m unsure how he’s feeling about everything right now.
He pulls back from my face further and looks at the house. I see that jaw muscle tick again.
“Who is that guy, Finley?” he asks, looking down at me heatedly.
I see the pain and anger in his eyes and my heart breaks when I realize I’m hurting him again. As if I haven’t hurt him enough already.
“He’s just a friend,” I reply, stroking his cheeks.
He looks at me and shakes his head, obviously unconvinced.
“Okay, he wants more,” I rush out. “We kissed. That’s it, Brody! That’s it!” I screech out as Brody turns away from me, sharply putting a hand on his hip and stomping his foot into the pavement.
“It happened over a week ago. I told him I wasn’t ready after that and he knows about you, Brody. He knows he’s just a friend now, I promise.” I rub his back silently, begging for him to turn back to me and be the Brody I love. My Brody.
“I’ll fucking kill him, Finley,” he growls, through clenched teeth. “God!” he shouts as he roughly rakes his hand through his hair, stomping his foot again.
“Brody, please…pleeease,” I beg. “I’m so sorry babe. It’s me you’re mad at, not him. I was lost, Brody. I was missing you. He’s just a nice guy. A friend. I was trying to forget you but I can’t, Brody. I can’t forget you. Never. You’re it for me, you’re all I want forever, Brody. I want to fix this! I want to fix us! I love us!” I’m crying loudly now, my voice echoing slightly off the skate ramps.
Brody finally turns to me and I see his face soften as he takes in my emotional state.
I bring my hands up to his face and drag them down to his chest. His familiar, wonderful chest. He lets out a huff of air and takes my hand.
“Finley,” he whispers into my palm, kissing it roughly.
“Please, please come in, Brody,” I beg once more.
He gives me one long, earth shattering look and then leans down to pick up his suitcase. Once the traffic clears, he protectively guides me across with his hand on my lower back, dragging his suitcase with his other hand.
We enter the house and I take Brody straight up to my bedroom. I assure him I’m going to go see if Liam left and if he hasn’t, then I’ll tell him to leave. Brody doesn’t look happy, but he also doesn’t object. He tells me he’s going to take a shower. I’m grateful he won’t be sitting here stewing while I talk to Liam.
I rush downstairs, my nerves jumping all over the place. My hands are shaking. I glance into the living room and see Leslie, Theo, Mitch, and Julie in there, but no Frank or Liam. I turn around and head through the dining room into the kitchen and see Frank talking seriously with Liam.
Liam looks up to me and gives me a sad look. My heart breaks at his expression. Why do I keep hurting these great guys?
Frank puts his hand on Liam’s shoulder and hops off the counter and walks over to me. He pecks me silently on the cheek and leaves the kitchen.
“Finley,” Liam says sadly.
“Liam,” I say, pulling out a barstool and sitting at the counter across from him.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
My chest contracts at the fact that he’s worried about me right now instead of being angry with me like he should be. I nod my head and he places his two hands on the edge of the counter and drops his head down.
“You told me,” he starts. “You told me you weren’t done unpacking. And I bloody well ignored you.” He throws himself back off the counter and turns away from me and looks at the fridge.
“I’m so sorry, Liam,
” I say. “This isn’t fair to you.”
“Why do you say that, Finley?” he asks, swerving around and looking intently into my eyes.
“Because you’re amazing!” Tears well in my eyes. “You’re amazing, Liam. You’re wonderful, you’re…”
“Not him,” he interrupts. Just hearing him say the word him makes me cringe.
“I’m sorry, Liam. You don’t deserve this.” I sniff loudly. “He’s it for me. He always was. I’ve been lying to myself all this time.”
He shakes his head again.
“I hope he knows it, Finley,” he says, leaning across the counter and looking deeply into my eyes. He’s willing me to see just how much he really cares for me. “And I hope you’re honest with him about whatever crap you have floating around in that beautiful head of yours.”
I look down at my hands on the counter and nod.
“I guess this is goodbye, Finley,” he says, standing up tall and walking around the counter toward me. I hop down off the stool and he opens his arms to me for a hug. I lean in and breathe in his clean scent.
“Goodbye Liam,” I whisper into his ear.
“Bye Fin,” he whispers and drops a small peck into my hair.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Leslie is sitting on the steps in the foyer waiting for me to come out of the kitchen. Liam walks behind me and out the front door without looking back. She motions for me to follow her upstairs and I gratefully escape into her room with her.
“I swear I didn’t tell Brody where we live, Finley!” she bursts out as soon as the door closes.
“I’m not worried,” I reply.
“It had to be Cadence.”
“I don’t care,” I say again.
“Are you okay?” she asks, clearly noticing my emotional state.
“I can’t believe he’s here Leslie,” I sigh.
“I know! What are you going to do?” she asks.
“I have to tell him everything,” I say. She nods sympathetically. “But I can’t do it tonight.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about Fin,” she says, and I smile back at her.
“How did Liam take it?” she asks, with concern furrowed in her brows.