by Ber Carroll
‘Yes, Amtech has been very good to me. I’ve come a long way here,’ Emma answered, her tone guarded.
‘How long have you been a qualified accountant?’
Emma looked uncomfortable. ‘Actually, I’m not. I never got around to doing the exams. I could kick myself. I didn’t get your job because that was one of the requirements.’ She gave an embarrassed shrug.
Claire appreciated her honesty and warmed to her. ‘Yeah, it’s funny how much emphasis companies place on qualifications when ability should be more important. Still though, you should consider doing the exams just to have that piece of paper.’
‘I guess you’re right,’ Emma replied, looking thoughtful.
It was five by the time Claire finished with Emma and she was preparing to leave for the day when Harry reappeared.
‘How’s your day been?’ he asked.
‘Not too bad for a first day.’
‘That’s good,’ he smiled, and then joked, ‘Tomorrow you’ll see what we’re really like!’
Chapter 5
Julia remarried faster than she would have ever imagined. She met Robert shortly after her divorce was finalised. She had secured a position in the legal department of Amtech, based on South Market Street with all the bustle of downtown San Jose. She didn’t fully understand Amtech’s niche in the IT world, but with over two thousand employees based at head office, there was at least the potential to meet some friends.
She first saw Robert at a company function. He was at the bar, his handsome face creased with an alluring frown. His tanned skin was dark in the subdued light. He had a beard. She didn’t usually like beards, but it suited his face and emphasised the slant of his cheekbones. He appeared to be alone. She abruptly terminated her conversation with a balding, hopeful colleague and approached the bar.
‘Do you have a light?’ she asked, her tone cool. This man held a position of power in the company. It wasn’t only his expensive suit that bespoke an executive salary, he had an impenetrable aura of confidence that could only come from being a decisionmaker.
He lit her cigarette without speaking.
She inhaled, sitting gracefully on the bar stool. ‘You look bored.’
‘Comes from being on my own,’ he replied rather curtly. ‘My wife isn’t here and everyone seems to be engrossed in their partners.’
‘I’m here on my own, too,’ she said, arching her back as she exhaled the smoke. She smiled at him but didn’t meet his eyes. If she looked into his eyes he would know she was flirting, by avoiding them he couldn’t be sure.
Robert made a move to walk back to his table.
‘Why didn’t your wife come?’ she asked suddenly, trying to stop him from leaving.
‘Well, if you really want to know, we had a huge argument last night and we haven’t spoken to each other all day,’ he said harshly. ‘I couldn’t remind her that this was on because she wouldn’t talk to me.’
Julia was delighted. She loved to hear about other people who had relationship problems. It made her feel less of a failure.
‘Serves her right then,’ she laughed.
‘I guess it does,’ he agreed with a reluctant grin.
He looked at her properly. She was very attractive. Her black sequinned dress showed off a good figure, too thin by some men’s standards but not by his. Her blonde highlights were a refreshing change from his wife’s dark hair. He had been sitting with Wayne and Cherie all night, the conversation dominated by tales of their children. Fond as he was of them, he needed a break.
‘I haven’t seen you around before,’ he commented, sitting down, his knees brushing hers.
‘I’ve only been with the company two weeks. My name’s Julia, by the way.’ She extended her hand to shake.
‘Robert Pozos.’
‘Nice to meet you, Robert.’
‘You don’t seem to have a drink, Julia. Can I buy you one?’
She hesitated. She hadn’t touched alcohol since the night her neighbours called the ambulance. That was three months ago now. She had proved the shrink wrong. She had proved she could give up alcohol whenever she wanted. Right now, she wanted a few social drinks with this man. He didn’t look like the soft-drink type.
‘Yes, a vodka and Coke, thanks.’
An hour passed before he confirmed he was a vice-president of the company. Most men would have gloated about their importance within minutes. Robert only revealed his position in answer to a direct question.
They stayed at the bar and ordered more drinks. The vodka tasted very different to wine but Julia recognised the glow. She was relieved that she was able to drink slowly. She was in control. The shrink was wrong.
Robert was embarrassed when Wayne and Cherie came over to say goodnight.
‘I’ve been incredibly rude. I apologise … I didn’t realise it was this late,’ he said, jumping to his feet. ‘Julia, this is Wayne and Cherie, very good friends of mine.’
There was a flurry of handshakes and politely murmured greetings. Julia liked Cherie immediately – she looked homely and unthreatening. They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before Wayne and Cherie left.
‘Nice people,’ she remarked.
‘I’ve known them for years,’ he answered, absently looking at his watch. ‘I suppose we should make a move too, before we are thrown out.’
They drained their glasses in one simultaneous movement.
Julia shivered in the cool night air and he put his arm around her.
‘Would you like to come back to my place for a coffee?’ she asked quietly, mentally taking a deep breath while she waited for his answer.
The idea of not going home that night appealed to Robert. ‘Where do you live?’
‘It’s about a fifteen-minute walk, but we can get a cab if you like,’ she answered, eager to please him.
‘Let’s walk.’
They didn’t speak as they walked. His arm was still around her, his fingers caressing her bare shoulder. His hand slipped inside her dress. Their pace got faster.
Shutting the door behind them, Julia turned to face him in the darkness. He was a shadow as he moved silently towards her. He kissed her roughly, his beard making her face tingle. She stepped backwards until her back was hard against the door. His hands were in her hair, tilting her head, straining her neck as his lips moved down from hers. She didn’t feel him pull the zipper on her dress. It fell smoothly to her ankles. She stepped out of it, giving a delicate kick so it slid across the tiles. She wasn’t wearing a bra and her breasts were white in the blackness of the hallway. His hands cupped them, raising them to his mouth. She responded by opening his belt, his trousers falling to the floor. The door rattled as he fucked her against it. She smiled when she thought of her neighbours. He wasn’t gentle with her but she didn’t mind. She sensed she would have to act quickly with Robert if she was going to have any chance at success. She didn’t want to give him time to think about the wife he wasn’t talking to.
Donald Skates hosted a dinner party every year for his senior management team. The president of Amtech Corporation lived with his second wife, Lisa, in a large, Mediterranean-style house in Palo Alto. A few years ago, Donald’s first wife had died of cancer after twenty-five years of marriage. Her death had affected him badly and for a few months he teetered on the edge of a breakdown. He would never know that the board of directors came very close to firing him. He had been more surprised than anybody when he fell in love with Lisa, who had been his loyal PA for almost ten years. She helped him keep his sanity and eventually he regained his focus and the board’s confidence.
Julia didn’t tell Robert that she had lived in Palo Alto with Josh. Coming to the party had threatened her new confidence with painful memories. She was nervous as Robert drove slowly up the driveway to the house. The extravagant lights in the garden and in the large open windows screamed opulence. This was the first company function they were attending as a couple.
Five months ago, early in their relationship, Ro
bert had left his wife. He’d done it quietly, decisively, and totally of his own accord. When he’d told Julia, he said that it hadn’t been his intention to cheat on his wife, just as it hadn’t been his intention to start off their relationship on the wrong foot. He said that meeting her, having someone to talk to again, to share things with, had given him a new lease on life.
But tonight Julia didn’t know how well these people knew Dianne or to what extent they would make comparisons. At least Cherie would be there, one kind face in the sea of executives and their intimidating partners. Robert had told her that Cherie and Dianne had never got along. That made Cherie safe, someone to cling to.
Robert was seated on her left, Lisa on her right. Donald sat next to Robert, and Wayne and Cherie were opposite. She counted twenty-four people at the table and was amazed at Lisa’s courage to take on such a large dinner party. Lisa was pleasant, articulate, educated and noncommittal about Julia and Robert’s relationship. Julia was grateful for her tact. However, Lisa was the hostess and had to give all her guests equal attention. Julia felt awkward as she sat silently in the buzz of conversation. She was drinking champagne. She didn’t really like champagne but had deliberately asked Lisa for it so she wouldn’t be tempted to drink too much. Her glass was empty again. Lisa topped it up. Julia decided to wait ten minutes before she started to drink the full glass. But she forgot.
Robert was talking to Donald, their voices so low that Julia couldn’t hear what they were saying.
‘Julia seems like a nice woman. You say she works in our legal department?’ Donald was asking, wiping the corner of his mouth with his napkin.
‘Yes, she’s been with the company six months now,’ Robert answered, wondering immediately what Donald was leading up to.
‘And you and Dianne have officially split up?’ Donald probed, with no sensitivity to the personal nature of his questions. He was used to asking what he wanted and receiving answers to whatever he chose to ask.
‘Yes, we’re getting a divorce, an expensive divorce at that. She never worked a day in her life, she spent my money as if it was going out of fashion and now she gets half of my assets.’ Robert shrugged, his wry smile cloaking a deeper resentment.
‘Well, I’m glad you’re getting yourself sorted out. There’s been a lot of gossip about you and Julia,’ Donald said, pouring himself some more red wine without offering any to Robert.
‘I’m surprised – I thought we had been discreet,’ Robert replied, waiting for Donald to get to the point.
‘I’m amazed you can be that naïve, Rob … you should know how much people talk … sometimes it’s best to make things formal. That’s why I married Lisa so quickly – people didn’t have the chance to talk about us. It’s good to be in control of your image in the company and idle gossip can be damaging …’ Donald gave Robert a knowing smile before starting a conversation with the woman on his other side.
‘Maybe we should get married,’ Robert said quietly. They were about halfway home and Julia was almost asleep.
She jerked upright but when she saw his expressionless face, she wondered if she had been dreaming.
‘Don’t you have anything to say?’ he asked, giving her a slight smile.
‘I thought I had misheard you. Are you serious?’ She was almost whispering, terrified that he might be joking.
‘Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?’ He shook his head, perplexed at her reaction.
‘You – you just don’t seem very – excited, I guess,’ she stuttered, feeling very unsure of herself.
‘That’s because I’m still waiting for your answer,’ he replied, giving her a full smile now.
She stared at him, stunned but ecstatic. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was. Deep down, this accomplished sophisticated man was every bit as lonely as she was. He was rushing in, they both were, but they needed each other and wasn’t need the pivot point in all relationships? She had needed Josh, but he had had no need for her. With Robert it was different, they were evens.
My answer is yes … yes, I’d love to marry you,’ she beamed, throwing her arms around him. The car swerved.
‘Julia, take it easy! Do you want to kill us both?’
‘How soon would you like the wedding to be?’ she asked shyly. It was the day after the party and they were eating dinner at her apartment. Julia had made a big effort, the only light in the room coming from the romantic glow of candles. She had the table laid formally and had prepared a three-course dinner.
‘How about over Christmas? My divorce should be done by then,’ he suggested, unfolding his napkin.
‘Robert, that’s only three months away. I’d never be able to organise everything before then,’ she laughed at him.
‘What’s there to organise? A registry office … witnesses … Wayne and Cherie would be happy to do the honours. Done! Easy!’ He shrugged, not noticing the smile fading from her face.
‘Don’t you want something more … substantial? I mean, a church, a reception and some guests?’ she asked, sarcastic despite her efforts not to be.
‘Come on, Julia! This is the second time for both of us,’ he said reasonably. ‘The fuss of a full wedding would be ridiculous, considering the circumstances.’
She swallowed her response. Hurt as she was by his lack of enthusiasm, she didn’t want to risk him changing his mind by being too insistent. She hid her feelings and did her best to make the meal as pleasant as possible.
‘I want you to resign from Amtech,’ he said as she poured him a coffee.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t think it’s appropriate for us both to work for the same company, particularly when I’m a vice-president.’
It was clear that Robert wouldn’t mind if she chose to be a full-time corporate wife but he knew nothing of her previous marriage. She had learned a lesson from Josh. She never wanted to experience that hopeless vulnerability again. She wanted a career and some money of her own. The following week she applied for a position at Hayes, Frank & West, a legal firm a few blocks away from Amtech.
For their honeymoon they went to a resort only fifty kilometres from where they lived. Robert could only spare a meagre three days from his schedule so it didn’t make sense to go very far. Julia hid her disappointment well and resolved to make the most of their time together. There was a bottle of champagne and a basket of fruit in their suite to welcome them. They drank the champagne in the private spa bath, laughing as they played silly games with the fruit. Julia’s wedding ring glittered in the water. Robert hadn’t suggested buying her an engagement ring so she’d had diamonds put into the wedding band. She loved the ring – it was the first piece of jewellery he had given her.
The next morning the familiar sound of a fax machine woke her. Robert was standing by the machine, impatiently snatching up the pages as they came through.
‘Is something wrong?’ she asked sleepily.
‘Not really, just something urgent from work that I need to review,’ he answered absently.
‘Work?’ She sat up in the bed. ‘Why did you tell them where we were staying?’
‘Don’t be silly, Julia. Of course they have to be able to contact me … now go back to sleep for another few hours and when you wake up I’ll be finished.’ His tone did not encourage any argument.
She lay with her eyes squeezed shut, seething. She wanted to get up now, go for a walk, breathe in the country air, not in a few hours when it suited him.
They bumped into a business contact of Robert’s at breakfast. Rick Hudson and his wife were also spending a few days at the resort. He invited them to join him and his wife at their table. It wasn’t easy to refuse the loud, red-faced Texan, just as it wasn’t easy to refuse when he suggested a round of golf with Robert. Julia tried hard to be good-humoured as she drove the buggy around the course and chatted with Rick’s obnoxious wife for three hours.
The argument they had when they finally got back to their room was inevitable. Julia couldn’t believe they had
fought in such an ugly way on their honeymoon. When he stormed out, she poured herself a large bourbon from the minibar. She was shaking all over and the bourbon calmed her a little, but not enough. She didn’t want to have another but still found herself pouring a second glass. When he came back she was passed out.
For the rest of their stay she ignored the phone calls to work and didn’t comment on the two sets of documents that arrived by courier. She was determinedly cheerful and affectionate. She didn’t drink, deeply ashamed of her lapse. Robert was as pleasant as she was but his eyes were suspicious and watchful and things were never the same again.
They had been married for a few months when Lisa, Donald Skates’ wife, invited Julia out for lunch. Julia hadn’t seen Lisa since the night Robert proposed. Lisa chose a quiet café in Palo Alto. Once more, Julia was forced to brave the suburb that held so many happy and painful memories of Josh.
‘Julia, I don’t know how to say this … and you’ll think I’m an interfering so-and-so …’ Lisa fidgeted with her napkin before plunging in. ‘Is everything okay with you and Robert?’
‘What do you mean?’ Julia was immediately defensive and Lisa became more flustered.
‘Donald says that Robert is not himself … he’s not happy …’
‘How would Donald know if my husband is happy or not?’ Julia demanded.
Lisa put a kind hand on Julia’s arm in an attempt to calm her.
Julia shrugged it off. ‘I can assure you that Robert is perfectly happy with me – tell Donald he needn’t worry.’ She snatched her bag from the floor and marched out, leaving an embarrassed Lisa to deal with the curious stares of the other patrons.
She went to a bar across the street. She needed something strong to calm down. A double vodka.
Robert can’t be unhappy. We’re only just married. We’re having a few teething problems, that’s all.
Her hands shook and it took a few attempts to light her cigarette. She had a flashback of Josh, lying in bed, telling her it was finished. That he wasn’t happy and she wasn’t what he wanted. She ordered another double.