by Sage Domini
She stared at me doubtfully. “And what will that accomplish?”
I eased the truck’s engine to life. “I’m not sure.” I remembered Javier’s words. “But I’m not going to stop trying.” As I started to back the truck out I remembered something. “Just no bloody meat for the boys, okay?”
She shrugged, a vague smile on her face. “I promise at least it won’t be dripping.”
“Well,” I muttered, piloting the truck toward the road which led to home. “That’s something.”
It was only mid-afternoon and I had no idea what time Talon would return. I remembered what John had said. What if he didn’t come home? I brushed off the doubt. He would come home, eventually.
In the bedroom I carefully extracted the purchase I had made at the mall. It was a lacy short gown of black lingerie. I had never owned such a thing. But something special was needed to punch a hole in Talon’s wall. To make him see me. And tonight he was going to see me. Tonight I was going to reclaim my mate.
I stripped my clothes off and stepped in the bathroom, eyeing my body critically in the bathroom vanity. I had gained a few pounds since that long ago night Talon had taken me. But that wasn’t all. Time and the trauma of childbearing had taken a toll. I touched the stretch marks which had raggedly clawed their way into existence as I carried my babies inside my body. I ran my hands over the breasts which had always been full and heavy, but now drooped slightly as well from the years of breastfeeding.
Talon had never once complained about my body or looked on my naked skin with anything other than hungry passion. Whatever other difficulties stood between us, he had always wanted me as intensely as I wanted him. I was counting on that.
The lingerie went smoothly over my curves. Even I admitted that I looked sexy. Talon had never cared for makeup so I didn’t trouble about it. I brushed my long hair and flared it seductively around my shoulders. Then I settled into one of the hard kitchen chairs. And waited.
Other women, even werewolves, could call their mates on a cell phone to find out when to expect their arrival. The thought of Talon with a cell phone was so preposterous I laughed out loud. He would never allow anyone to track him so closely.
***
“Where the fuck have you been?” I was on him even before he finished walking through the door.
I let out a cry of anger when I saw he held his bundled clothes in his hands. I tried to snatch them away but he held them out of my reach, and merely stood there, naked and coldly glaring.
“Shifting?” I hissed. “You’ve been running under the goddamn moon while I’ve been here worried to pieces over our sick baby?”
Something registered in his face. “I didn’t know he was sick.” He threw down his clothes and in two long strides reached the crib.
“Of course not. And moon forbid there should be any way to reach you.” I crossed my arms. Already another child grew inside of me but since Talon hadn’t said more than three sentences to me in as many days I didn’t feel obliged to inform him.
Talon picked up the baby and held him to his chest. “He’s burning up.”
My heart lurched. “I know.” I winced when I felt John’s tiny head. I had already made a decision. “I’m taking him to Flagstaff.”
Talon stared down at the baby for a moment. He didn’t believe in doctors, even werewolf doctors like the small practice which operated out of Flagstaff and saw to our kind. But he swallowed. “All right.” He handed the baby to me and pulled his pants on. “Let’s go.”
Three wearying hours later we returned. John slept on Talon’s shoulder, already dosed with the antibiotics which would soon clear up his double ear infection. It had been an uncomfortable drive and a tense wait for the doctor.
I’d thought it would get better, that fatherhood would change him. I was angry at my own stupidity. Talon thought of the wolf first. If the wolf wanted to run, he ran. To hell with the mate who waited at home.
Talon carefully placed the baby in the crib. For the first time he looked as tired as I felt as he frowned down at our son.
“What?” I said sharply.
He shook his head. “It’s just, he’s so fragile. I know someday he’ll be strong, but now…” Talon’s voice trailed off. I thought I knew what he meant. That it hurt the heart to watch the struggles of this small creature you’d grown to love more than yourself. But those weren’t things Talon Ivanov could say.
I, however, had something to say. “Get used to it,” I told him coldly. “The next one will be along soon.”
I waited for something from him. A flash of joy, of anxiety, something. But he only stared at me in that maddeningly inscrutable way. As we regarded one another across the small room the chasm between us seemed wider than ever.
Talon turned to stare out the dark window. I turned back to the bedroom. “I’m going to sleep now.”
“Good,” he said without a shred of warmth.
***
As the light filtered through the windows and played across the rustic furniture, mostly handmade by Talon, I continued to wait. Finally the sky began to darken and the temperature dropped precipitously. I had heard on the radio on the way home from Flagstaff that another storm was imminent. The wind picked up and began to whistle ominously.
I crossed my arms across my chest. My backside was growing numb from sitting so long in the chair. And even I, a werewolf of Chevalier extraction, was becoming cold. My thoughts turned to the boys and I hoped Kate knew enough to cover them. Little ones were not as hardy as adults.
Another hour ticked past. I wouldn’t move. If I had to wait all night and into the next day then that’s what I would do. When Talon walked through the door I was damn well going to be the first thing he laid eyes on.
I felt him before I heard him. Wolves could nearly always sense one another even when in human form, and there could be no mistaking the approach of my mate. He fumbled with the knob for a moment and then opened the door in a swirl of winter chaos.
“Talon,” I called.
He looked up. His eyes were bleary and despite the frigid temperature his shirt was wide open. Of course the half empty whisky bottle was likely keeping him warm. Talon took a drink from the bottle, watching me. His right arm hung casually at his side, evidence of his drunken state. Usually in my presence he took pains to tuck it away.
I rose slowly from the chair, noticing the way his eyes raked me over. He scowled. “What the hell are you wearing?”
Deliberately I allowed one strap to fall. “I don’t have to be wearing anything.”
He took another drink. “Where are the boys?”
“At your mother’s.” I moved closer to him, closing the door in the face of the shrieking wind. I leaned forward and closed my hand around the neck of the neck of the bottle. Talon inhaled sharply when I ran my hands over the hard contours of his chest. “It’s just us all night.” I touched him then, smiling over the enormous bulge in his pants. However, when I removed the bottle from his hand he swore and snatched it back.
“Fucking needy female,” he grumbled, taking another drink.
“I think you’re pretty fucking needy yourself.” I pointed between his legs.
He took another drink. “What the hell do you want, Sheree?”
I pushed the lingerie off my shoulders and let it puddle to the floor. “You, Talon. I want you.”
The madness of lust was in his eyes but he turned away. “No.”
I shoved him in the back, taunting. “What kind of a werewolf doesn’t want to mate?”
He slowly turned around and his look was murderous. “The kind who can’t fucking RUN!” He screamed the last word and shifted with a suddenness which made me gasp. His clothing tore to pieces and the whiskey bottle fell to the floor with a mighty crash. The giant dark wolf who was Talon Ivanov faced me on three legs, snarling. His fourth leg was bent at the joint, several inches above the floor, missing its paw.
I stared him down, keeping my voice cold. “So what?”
“You will.”
Talon gave me a look which froze the core of my soul. The words he said next were not ones I had ever expected to hear. Or would ever have welcomed. “Follow your sister.”
My jaw dropped. “What?”
“Take the boys and return to the Chevaliers.”
I wanted to hit him. I wanted to call him a fucking coward and beat him with my fists until he opened my legs and entered me in a frenzy. But that wouldn’t work. Not this time.
I picked up the lingerie and clutched it to my chest. “All right,” I said. “We can make arrangements tomorrow. Tonight I won’t stay in the same damn house with you so I’m going to your mother’s.”
Once in the bedroom I dressed quickly. I’d been foolish to think I could sway him so easily. However I felt remarkably clear headed as I pulled on a pair of old boots. I knew what needed to be done.
Talon stood precisely where I had left him. There was no hint of emotion in his face.
“You may as well use the bed,” I told him. “Since you’ll be staying here alone.” I grabbed the truck keys, my hand on the knob of the front door. “Goodbye, Talon Ivanov.”
I did not await his answer. I closed the door behind me.
The night was already thick with falling sleet and snow but I wasn’t frightened. I knew these woods by this time as well as any Ivanov.
Javier had built his cabin further away than Kate would have liked but as long as he kept her daughter in the woods she didn’t complain. There wasn’t much of a road leading to their place but I found it easily enough.
Tess ran into the snow before I even turned the ignition off. Javier was immediately at her side.
“What’s wrong?” she breathed.
I jumped out of the truck and opened my mouth to the sky, catching a few snowflakes. “Nothing,” I said. “Everything.”
The young couple looked at me worriedly. Javier nudged Tess. “Why don’t we all go inside?”
Their home was small and cozy. Javier was of the human world but he had adapted swiftly to the werewolf life with a mate at his side. I noted their neat pallet in the corner and smiled. Tess must have managed to persuade Javier away from the comforts he was born to, such as a bed.
Tess regarded me with uncertainty. “Are you hungry?”
“No,” I said. “Not at all.”
She looked at her mate with a question in her eyes. He shrugged.
“I guess you’re wondering what in the moon I’m doing here.” I sighed and sank down to the floor, crossing my legs.
Tess and Javier knelt down next to me.
“Talon?” Javier asked.
“Talon,” I said bitterly. “He told me to leave.”
Tess cocked her head to the side. “Leave? For the whole night.”
I sighed. “For the whole of forever. He told me to take the boys and return to my family in Canada.”
Tess inhaled sharply. Javier looked at me with pity in his warm brown eyes. “Is that what you’re going to do?”
“No,” I said firmly, shaking my head for emphasis. “No.”
Tess cleared her throat. “Well, you’re welcome to stay here for the night. I mean, if you want to.”
“I don’t,” I told her. “But thank you.” I turned to her mate. “You still have that rope?”
Javier was puzzled. “Rope? Well, yeah.”
Tess stared at me. “What do you need rope for?”
“For your brother.”
Tess’s jaw dropped but a smile flashed across Javier’s face.
I jerked my head at Javier. “Can you show me how to tie a good knot?”
Tess looked from one of us to the other, exasperated. “What are you going to do? Tie Talon up?”
I shrugged. “Yes.” Her eyes grew wide. “Only for a little while,” I assured her. “Just long enough to get his attention.”
Javier had already moved over to the corner and was fumbling through objects. He returned with the coil of rope I had seen him carrying that morning. It was strong. It would do nicely. He cut several good sized lengths and dropped them in front of me.
“Now,” he said. “This is how you tie a knot that should be hard to get out of.”
Chapter Six
The weather was becoming more severe yet I parked in the woods, waiting. If I timed it correctly, Talon would be passed out and insensible. Which was exactly how I needed him to be for a few minutes.
The clock on the dashboard ticked closer to midnight. It was almost Valentine’s Day. It was, in the human world, a holiday steeped in tradition, a celebration of love. And tonight I had every intention of participating.
***
“Love.”
I could hear the disdain in his voice as he frowned into the darkness, choking on the word as if tasted badly.
Less than a month earlier I had given him another son. My body was still sore and tired but it had been a full moon. Talon couldn’t resist running. And whenever Talon returned from a run his needs were plain. I never could refuse him. No matter how much I was pulled by the demands of rest, by the needs of the babies, I always wanted to open myself to my mate.
He had held back, knowing I couldn’t take the punishment of his full rhythm just yet. And he brought me as gently as he could to climax before he took his own pleasure. The words had just slipped out of my mouth as I came down from the warm afterglow.
But Ivanovs didn’t hold with notions of love. They were wolves. They mated. They bred. They cared for their children as tenderly as any animals cared for their young. But romantic love? No.
Though despite what Talon said, I knew that wasn’t true of all Ivanovs. My sister’s mate, Anton, openly adored her.
Tired and hormonal, I wasn’t about to endure another lecture from Talon about human emotions. “Yes, love,” I snapped, slugging him lightly on the shoulder. “I love you, you big jackass. Although sometimes I swear I don’t know why.”
I rolled over and touched his face. If he only said it once, just once.
“Talon?”
He had closed his eyes. “What?”
“Tell me.”
He sighed with irritation and sprung to his feet. In the cradle several feet away our newborn son began to cry. Talon peered in to the cradle and ran a gentle finger over the baby’s cheek. We had named the boy Jacob. He quieted down under his father’s touch.
“Where the hell are you going?” I asked, utterly maddened as he headed for the front door.
Talon didn’t look back. “The moon calls, Sheree. I’m going to sleep in the woods tonight.”
Wearily I rested my head on my forearm. I spotted an object nearby and threw it full force against the wall. It was an infant rattle, handed down through generations of Chevaliers. It had broken into several pieces. The baby began to cry again and I heard little John stirring in the next room.
“Mama?” he called hesitantly.
I pulled a long shirt over my head and picked up the baby as he rooted eagerly for my breast.
“I’m here, John.”
The boy, barely two, toddled into the room and wrapped his little arms around my leg. I knelt to his level and gathered him up beside his brother.
“Never ever turn away from love,” I told my sons, kissing each of them on their tender foreheads.
***
Once the hour passed midnight I started the truck and headed back home.
I felt relief as I approached the cabin, sensing that Talon was still inside. I hadn’t been sure he would be. I stood at the closed door for a moment, listening, but all I heard was the howl of the wind at my back.
Inch by inch I opened the door. The front room was empty. The smell of whiskey permeated the interior and the shattered glass remained on the floor where Talon had dr
opped the bottle. Silently I pushed the door closed.
He was in the bedroom. The even pace of his deep breathing told me he had already sunken into his alcohol-induced slumber. I dropped the lengths of rope on the floor, taking care to be as silent as possible. Talon might be drunk and unconscious but he was still a werewolf. If his acute senses were clued into my presence before I was ready, it would ruin my plan.
As I peeled off my clothes my heart pounded with adrenaline. Before I had hastily thrown on a shirt and jeans earlier, I had pulled on the black nightie first. I was willing to take all the help I could get. Though it had been brief, I had caught the flash of lust in Talon’s eyes when he saw me wearing it. I also remembered the painfully large bulge in his pants. After all these months of self-denial he was fairly bursting.
Retrieving the rope once again, I crept lightly into the bedroom. My mate was sprawled across the bed. It would make things easier. I swallowed at the sight of his massive naked body, as broad and sculpted in muscular perfection as ever. I wanted him so much I could taste it.
Talon’s left hand rested near the bedpost. Taking a deep breath, I tied the rope around the post in the way Javier had taught me. For a brief second I ran my fingers along the varnished wood. Talon had labored for two days straight to make this bed frame during the intoxicating week of our first mating. Ivanovs slept in casual pallets on the floor at best. Otherwise they slept wherever they tired. The bed was for me. Because I had asked for it. When I filtered through the memories of our life together, I understood there were many small ways Talon had shown his love.
Now, I was going to show him mine.
One small inch at a time I wound the rope around his wrist. Once he flinched and his brow darkened but just as quickly he relaxed. When I thought the rope had adequately secured him, I skulked around to the other side of the bed.
Talon’s right arm hung loosely over the bed. Not since that dark, insensible time when I had nursed him following the attack had I been so close to the damage. My heart hurt as I lightly touched the stump which had once ended in a strong hand. Talon’s right hand had held me, had cradled our children, had shifted into a powerful wolf paw which conquered these northern Arizona woods.