I nodded, looking up at the mountains, but my mind was clunking and jerking disjointedly into its own gears, trying to chew through this new information...and the information he’d just piled on top of it.
He’d bought it? And how could this possibly be a good idea, the two of us alone up here? I’d assumed we were heading towards a town...or an airstrip. When he’d said we’d be alone, I’d pictured us going to Delhi, maybe even Europe.
Separate hotel rooms. That kind of thing.
Keeping my light tightly shielded, I let go of his hand to walk down the hill, wading through the tall grasses. In almost no time, I reached the gated fence.
Entering through the opening across from the cabin’s door, I strode in a rough circle around the packed dirt clearing. I knew I was stalling; I felt myself gathering imprints as well. I felt traces of the old human who had lived there before. He felt like a nice man. I saw hoof prints, what looked like at least one dog’s. He’d had grandchildren. I wondered if he’d gone to live with them. There was an old-fashioned water pump, and a trough.
Revik followed me.
It occurred to me he was watching my reactions minutely.
“It’s beautiful up here,” I said, and I meant it.
I followed with my eyes as wind rippled the grasses outside the fence. New, sharp green shoots dusted with wildflowers turned the plateau into a mosaic. A tall windmill, the old-fashioned wooden kind I liked from when I was a kid, stood behind the house, spinning evenly in a higher breeze. Beyond it, I saw what looked like horses grazing on the slope. They stood not far from a river.
“You own the horses, too?” I said.
“Yes.”
“And the river?”
Revik gave a short laugh, making a seer’s ‘more or less’ gesture with one hand. “Enough of it,” he said.
“I’m starving,” I said, looking at him again. “Is there food?”
He made a hospitable gesture towards the front door.
I followed the motion of his hand, walking in front of him. He hung back as I reached for the handle.
It wasn’t locked.
Twisting it all the way, I opened the door.
I’d expected something western, I guess, from the horses and the windmill. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw colorful wooden furniture like you might find in a Tibetan home. It had been cleaned recently...maybe even re-furnished. Thick rugs covered a flagstone floor, all the way up to the fireplace, which stood near a dining area and a heavy wooden table, also brightly painted. Behind that, I was surprised to see a real kitchen with a gas stove, a full-sized refrigerator and a sink, more brightly colored cabinets and a woodblock cutting board in the middle. I wondered what powered the electricity.
“A combination,” Revik said from behind me. “Solar and wind. There’s a fair bit up here. The generator kicks into oil when it gets low. That’s mostly for the winter...”
I glanced back to where he stood by the door. He was watching me again. He motioned towards another door, which led to a shadow-darkened back area.
“Take a shower if you want,” he said. “I’ll do something about food.”
“You don’t have to,” I began.
“Just go, Allie.” He quirked an eyebrow. “I won’t poison you...promise.”
I laughed. When he smiled, I headed for the back room. Right before the door, I stopped, remembering I hadn’t brought anything with me.
He must have felt that too.
He paused on his way to the kitchen.
“I had Cass pick out clothes,” he said. He rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly embarrassed by my surprise. “...I didn’t look, but there should be things in the closet. They did all of that in the last week...” He met my gaze. “When I got back, Allie.”
Hesitating only a second more, I nodded, trying to relax.
I didn’t miss the opening he’d left me, in telling me he’d been gone, but his words raised a whole host of other questions, too.
I entered the darkened room, still a little thrown that he’d involved Cass.
Shutting the door, I faced the dim space, trying to get my bearings.
The room itself was pretty simple. A large wardrobe made of wood and painted in bright colors, Tibetan style, stood in one corner, across from a heavily curtained window. A door to a small bathroom stood to the left of that. In there, too, the floor had been covered in thick wool rugs, and I saw candles on a wooden shelf over the bed. It was while I was looking around, still trying to collect myself, that something else occurred to me.
There was only one bed.
15
PROPOSAL
I WAS STARING into the fire when, a few hours later, Revik emerged from the bedroom, letting out a dispersing cloud of steam.
We’d finished eating. I was still at the table, one leg drawn up to where my arm circled my shin, holding my foot on the seat of a wooden chair.
Revik had surprised me, by being able to cook at all I guess. What he made definitely fit the “unusual” camp, in terms of a human/western palate, but it had been good...some kind of mango curry thing with nuts and spinach and a few things I couldn’t identify. I knew it was seer food from the way he ate it.
When I did the same, the textures grew even more subtle. In fact, they did so well past my tongue, creating a warm flow in my light from my throat down to my legs.
Just when I’d started to wonder if maybe there was an ulterior motive for all of this after all, he disappeared into the other room without a word. I heard the shower start up a few minutes later and sighed, settling myself in to wait.
Now I gave him a fleeting smile as he sat down in the wooden chair he’d vacated before, directly across the table from me.
He returned my smile, leaning back and running a hand through his wet hair. He’d shaved I noticed, and wore clean clothes, a loose shirt that was almost Chinese in cut with those rope-like, knotted fasteners, and jeans. From Cass’ pile for me, I’d found a silk kimono, black with a gold bird on the back. I wore it all through dinner. It was long, embroidered and hardly revealing, but now...glancing under the table at his jeans, I wondered if maybe I’d been pushing it.
He reached into a pocket and produced a hiri, which I’d never seen him smoke, although I’d smelled it on him more than once on the ship. He lit it with a wooden match, which he shook out and left on his plate.
I considered asking him for one as well, then decided I hadn’t quit smoking like a human only to start as a seer. When I glanced up, he was watching me through a cloud of sweet-smelling smoke.
“Does it bother you?” he said.
“No,” I said. I was telling the truth. Unlike human cigarettes, hiri smoke actually smelled good.
He looked at the end of the hiri, then at me.
Leaning my arm on the table, I tried, unsuccessfully, to blank out my mind. I had nothing to say, really, but I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it.
I wasn’t up to talking about the war...or even asking where he’d been for the last few weeks, or about the limp I’d noticed again as he crossed the room. I wasn’t ready to think about tomorrow yet, much less that night. I didn’t really want to know details about what was going on at the compound, or how long we had before someone made us go back there. The very last thing I wanted to do was revisit our aborted conversation about Maygar. I didn’t want to try to make small talk, either, which both of us completely sucked at.
I didn’t want to talk at all, when it came down to it...but I wasn’t sure where that left us.
“Do you want to sleep?” he said.
Before I’d thought about why, something in my chest constricted. I fought it, keeping it out of my light, or at least away from where he could see it.
“Sure,” I said. Without my willing it, my eyes flickered towards the bedroom. “You can go ahead, if you want.”
I focused on the bruise on his face, then looked away.
When the silence stretched, I glanced around us surreptitiously. Th
ere was a low couch with a stack of thick blankets on one end, and a pile of pillows on the other. I tried to decide if I should just come out and ask him.
He rose to his feet, grinding out the hiri.
I held my breath, thinking he was going to disappear into the bedroom again...leaving me even more lost as to what I should do...but he didn’t. He walked around the table. I didn’t look up as he sank to the chair beside mine, moving it closer with his feet so that our knees touched.
He took my hands in his, and I stared down at our fingers. His knuckles were still bruised, but the marks had faded.
“Allie,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
Removing one hand from his, I pushed back my hair, and was horrified to realize I was crying. I wiped my eyes, smiling in embarrassment...and more than a little bewilderment. I wiped my face again.
“Wow,” I said. “I’m sorry.” I clutched his hand where his fingers wound around mine. “Is this that irrational thing you warned me about?”
He moved closer. “Yes,” he said, soft.
I couldn’t bring myself to return his gaze.
I remembered how he’d felt all those days I’d been at Tarsi’s. He hadn’t come for me, or even asked about me, for over two weeks. He’d avoided me in the Barrier. As I sat there, I realized how much I didn’t want to talk to him about that, either. When I started to get up, he caught my arms, holding me in place.
“Allie.” His voice held an edge of panic, and it brought my eyes to his. “What am I doing wrong? Tell me.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong, Revik. I’m just tired, I—”
“Allie!” His light hit at mine, forcing a gasp from my lips. He pulled me closer. “You said to let it go, so I did! Are you angry at me?”
“No.” Biting my lip, I held his gaze with an effort, shaking my head. “I’m not angry. I swear I’m not, Revik.”
He just looked at me, his light eyes showing incomprehension.
Pain circulated in my light veins...I realized part of it was from my light interacting with his. I ended up bunching my hands into fists, focusing on our fingers, the differences between our hands...in size, in skin color.
Shaking my head, I took a breath.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “...I just don’t understand. This seems like a bad idea, us alone up here.” I looked around the fire-lit room, feeling my skin warm. “What are we doing here?”
Understanding reached him.
I felt it click in; then his mind whispered past mine, remembering that morning in Seertown. As he did, his pain slivered through me, and I winced, pulling away from his light. I felt him react to that, too.
Staring at the fire, I tried to decide how to get out of this awkward mess, when his hand slid into my hair.
“Allie.” His voice was soft again. “Allie...you’re so beautiful.”
He kissed my face. My skin warmed. Disbelief hit as his words sank in, and he kissed me again, caressing my cheek with his. He’d never complimented me before...not my looks, anyway. Come to think of it, he hadn’t complimented much of anything about me. He wasn’t really the complimenting type.
“I wanted to come earlier,” he said. “I wanted to.” His fingers stroked mine. “I had hoped you would ask for me. I waited, Allie...as long as I could.”
Before I had time to think about that, he kissed my face again, leaning across the space between us. He leaned closer when I let him into my light, resting his head on my shoulder, caressing my hands. Everything about him was warm, merging into me, into my skin. His light was more open than I’d ever felt it.
I honestly had no idea what to do with him like this.
He raised his head, looking at me.
“Thank you,” he said. “For the ring.”
My skin flushed more.
“You don’t have to wear it,” I said. But I fingered it on his hand anyway, stroking the inside of his wrist when he moved it deeper into my lap.
I looked up, feeling him pull at me.
His eyes were intense in that way that was foreign to me still. When I caressed his fingers, looking again at the one with my father’s ring, his pain ribboned out at me again. I felt more of him in it that time, a flood of feeling that slid deeper into my light.
After the barest pause, he leaned towards my mouth.
Seeing where he was going, I touched his chest, pushing him back gently.
“No.” Moving my head aside, I shook my head, fighting a little for breath. “No,” I said. “I need more than that. You need to tell me...something.”
His eyes glowed faintly with firelight. He closed them, longer than a blink.
He leaned back in his chair.
“All right.” For a moment, he didn’t speak, caressing my fingers with his. I watched his eyes, saw their focus aim inward before he looked up, turning them back on me. “Allie.” He took a breath. “Allie, I wanted to...” I felt him form words before he spoke, as if translating. “...I wanted to request, formally...”
His mouth hardened, just before he shrugged.
“...I suppose you’d view it as a proposal,” he said, more in his normal voice. “I want to consummate. Tonight, if you’re willing.”
I was positive I hadn’t heard him right.
At the same time, pain tried to infiltrate my light, making it hard to replay his words in my head. I almost couldn’t hear when he spoke next.
“...It’s an open offer, Allie.” His face darkened slightly as he studied mine. “I know this isn’t very...well...” He gestured vaguely with one hand.
“...I tried to find out from Jon and Cass, but they didn’t know. What you’d want. If you’d expect a more...” He met my gaze. “...Human ritual. I didn’t know if you’d want anything.” He cleared his throat, gesturing delicately with the same hand. “...A ceremony. There are seer versions. I’m open to a human variant...in India, or somewhere else.” He cleared his throat again. “We could bring your people here. Or we could travel...if you’d rather do that. I don’t know if you want me to explain more...about how this works with seers...”
I must have blinked. I continued to stare at him, wondering if he’d possibly been replaced. It actually crossed my mind that Terian had replaced him.
I realized then, that he was waiting. He expected me to speak.
“Revik.” I found I was stammering. “I really don’t need—”
“Just think about what you would want,” he said, quicker that time, as if heading off something he saw on my face. “I know I’m springing this on you, but just think about it.” His fingers tightened on mine. “...And where you’d want to live. We’ve never talked about any of the logistics...we should. I’d like us to share a home. I’m open as to where, Allie. Really open. There are probably safety considerations, but we can negotiate with the Council...”
I swallowed again, staring down at our hands.
“Allie, I don’t want you to think—”
“Revik. Stop.” Holding up a hand, I took a breath, fighting to control my light. Finally, I shook my head, closing my eyes. “Please don’t take this the wrong way. Please. I really, really appreciate that you were willing to do this. And yeah, I know we’re both in pain...a lot of pain.” I hesitated, forcing myself to look up. Wincing a little at his expression, I added, “But I can’t...I really can’t have this be your solution to what Maygar did.”
He stiffened. For a second he didn’t move at all.
Then his face changed, his features bleeding rapidly into shock.
“Alyson...d’ gaos!”
“Please! Don’t be offended...you know why I’m saying it.”
He continued to stare at me, his face frozen in an expression that didn’t seem to know what I was saying at all.
I bit my lip. “Revik...please. This is exactly the opposite of what you said to me the last time we talked.” Swallowing, I waved a hand towards the fire. “I’m not letting that whole...thing...force your hand. We should just go back to the original plan. Make sur
e this is right.”
When I glanced back, he was staring at me, his eyes still buried in a kind of disbelief. It had progressed from earlier though; I saw him thinking now, maybe trying to decide what to say. In any case, his silence, mixed with that lost, puzzled look on his face, made it hard to look at him for long.
“Maybe you were right before,” I said. “Maybe we should talk tomorrow.”
“Allie, you’ve completely—”
“Look,” I said, cutting him off again before I’d thought. “...I’m sorry. But I don’t think we should do this tonight. Let’s just...sleep on it.”
Feeling another ripple of emotion off him, I searched my mind for some neutral way to end this. I only found one.
As casually as I could, I started to regain my feet.
Grasping my arms, he pulled me down again.
“Allie, no.” He softened his voice, but I heard tension in it. His fingers were warm as they clasped mine. He touched my face, turning my chin so I would look at him. “Please...listen to me. D’ gaos....have I fucked things up with us that badly?” Feeling something off me, or maybe just feeling me pull away, he clutched me tighter. “Alyson! This isn’t about Maygar!”
He was breathing harder.
His light seemed to spark at me, reminding me of all that time ago, when he was first teaching me sight...the few times I saw him upset or angry or afraid.
A little alarmed, I clasped his fingers in return.
“Revik...hey,” I said. “It’s okay. You didn’t mess anything up with us. It’s really nice what you’re doing...”
“Nice?” he said. “Alyson! Dugra ti le ente...”
I felt something rise in his light. I flinched at its intensity.
He withdrew, all at once.
Shielding from me, he took a breath, forcing whatever it was back.
“Look,” he said. “I am hearing you, Allie. I’m listening.” He motioned towards the low couch against the wall. “...I’ll sleep in here. I’ll sleep outside if you want...but please listen to me. This has nothing at all to do with Maygar! Maybe I haven’t been clear—”
“You were clear,” I said.
I flushed after I spoke, realizing I’d cut him off yet again.
Allie's War Season One Page 70