by Flatman, NJ
I saw what appeared to be a small inn and several other buildings. A sign touted a garden that was obviously out of commission for the year. Even with the brightness that came with a Midwest winter, I had a hard time making out everything that I saw. Many of the buildings in view were decked out in Christmas lights. I even saw a bridge that appeared to lead to a small island in the middle of the lake.
There was no need to know where I was to understand that it was gorgeous. Just from the views I was taking in from the car, it was clear that Spencer knew me very well. I loved places like this. Set apart from the world and filled with a natural beauty. Whatever it was, I wanted to see it in the fall.
“Sorry babe,” Spencer opened the door and got back into the car. “Took a little longer than I thought.”
“What is this place?” I asked, still looking around with wonder.
“You like it?” he smiled when he saw the look on my face.
“I love it,” I moved my head from side to side, taking it all in.
“It’s Canoe Bay,” he told me as he started the car.
“What is Canoe Bay?” I asked.
“It’s an adults only resort,” I watched as he turned the car and began to drive slowly around the lake I’d seen. “It’s an elegant and romantic getaway.”
“You sound like a commercial,” I teased. “Are we staying at the Inn I saw?”
“No,” his grin widened. “We have a cottage.”
I would soon learn that his idea of cottage and what I’d pictured was vastly different. He introduced our accommodations as the Lakeside Cottage, named obviously for its location, and I felt more like I was at a super luxurious private hotel.
It was a three room cottage that included a bedroom, living room and a spa room. My eyes first noticed the woodwork and stone fireplace in the living room. I had no clue until Spencer showed me that there was another stone fireplace in the bedroom.
Most of the standard fare of the cottage- appliances and furniture- were nicer than anything I could have afforded in the real world. In addition to that, there was a whirlpool tub and glass shower that were both big enough for both of us. The cottage featured a sauna, wet bar and gorgeous views of the lake. I couldn’t believe we were actually staying here, and I couldn’t believe that I’d only brought an overnight bag. A fact I shared quickly with him.
“You won’t need clothes,” He winked and grinned at me, causing me to blush.
Spencer had brought us a bottle of wine and some small snackish items for our first night. He’d picked up a couple of movies I’d yet to see and told me that he’d planned for us to spend the night in before we explored too much.
As we sipped wine and talked, he told me about the place and all of the things that he had planned. We were going to have in-room massages the following day after our breakfast was delivered to the cottage. We were then going to enjoy a day of snowshoeing, skiing and exploring the massive expanse of property they owned.
We would have dinner in the dining room, which he vowed was going to be an elaborate meal unlike any I’d known. The library had more DVD’s for us to watch and Sunday he had planned a horse and carriage ride through the property. I was utterly shocked and amazed at the detail he’d put into this little romantic getaway.
Before bed I went to enjoy a shower. I learned the double glass enclosed shower was a steam shower and I couldn’t wait to give it a go. Just looking at it made me envious.
“Where do you think you are going?” I heard Spencer walk up behind me before I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me back against him.
“Heaven,” I laughed.
“Can’t go to heaven without me,” his lips pressed against my neck.
Everything inside of me went weak as Spencer nibbled at the nape of my neck. His hands unclasped from my waist and slid up underneath the shirt I was still wearing.
“Mmmmm,” I moaned as I felt his skin touch mine.
My heart was racing, getting faster by the minute. I felt my back arch slightly as I pressed my head against his chest.
His hands slid up, pulling my top with it.
“You won’t be needing this,” he told me as he pulled the garment over my head and tossed it to the side. “Or this,” he began to unclasp my bra from behind as he continued to kiss my neck.
Within moments I was standing in what they referred to as the spa room, topless and melting into the man behind me. AS I felt his lips against my shoulder and his hands slip my slacks over my hips and to the floor, I couldn’t remember a moment that had ever been so perfect.
Spencer left nothing out, slipping my panties off as soon as he was finished with everything else. Naked and pressed against the man I loved more than anything, I knew that I’d never had a moment that I’d felt more secure and confident.
Both of his hands ran across my abdomen as they made their way to my breasts, cupping them and allowing each thumb to flick across its respective nipple. The peaks stiffened beneath his touch and I heard myself moan once more.
“Let me get the water started,” he offered, stepping away for a moment and leaving me standing there.
“You are so beautiful Avery,” his voice into a sexy tone I wasn’t sure I’d heard before that moment.
I watched him as he slid the t-shirt he wore over his head and threw it towards my own clothes. My eyes fell to his muscular chest and the tattoos that covered it and I felt my breath catch in my throat. No matter how many times I saw the man, his appearance always took my breath away.
Quickly he removed the remainder of his clothes as steam began to fill the room. His body moved towards mine and he cupped my chin with both hands, lifting it so that our eyes met.
“I don’t know how I got lucky enough for you to choose me,” he whispered before leaning down and kissing me. Demanding and possessive, his lips took over mine as he pulled my body against him.
I could feel the desire filling my insides from head to toe. A small throb ached between my thighs as his tongue darted into my mouth quickly.
Spencer took my hand and led me into the glass enclosure that was filled with steam. Slowly and methodically, Spencer took soap and shampoo and began to clean my body and hair. The sensations that flowed through me were like none I’d ever felt.
We must have spent an hour in that steam as Spencer explored every inch of my body with his hands and mouth. I was still aching for him when he turned the water off and led me to the king size bed in the bedroom.
It wasn’t until Spencer made love to me that night that I’d understood what he’d meant by perfect. In my mind any encounter that we’d had was perfect. But the way he kissed and touched me that night, staring deep into my eyes as he made love to me, made me understand that there was a point in which it just couldn’t get any better.
Something about the two of us was just right. Our bodies blended together perfectly and being with him in that bed I felt like I was home. Only it was a much more elaborate home than I’d ever been in.
Neither of us bothered to dress as we held each other close and drifted into sleep, still discussing what our weekend was going to be like. The last thing I remembered was Spencer rubbing my back as my eyes closed.
“Please don’t ever leave me,” he whispered, not totally sure I could still hear him. “I don’t think I could live without you.”
For the next two days we did everything we could possibly find to do at the resort and then some. Every night we found news spots and ways to make love. If I’d watched a movie or read a book that detailed anything near what I experienced I’d have laughed and said that does not really happen.
By the time we got into the car to head home, I knew it did actually happen. And I was lucky enough to have experienced it.
Unfortunately the weekend was a lot better than what I’d face when I got home.
“Where in God’s name have you been?” Colby demanded as I walked in. “You had damn well better tell me that you were stuck somewhere hurt and bleeding.”<
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“I was with Spencer,” I shrugged, taking my bag to my room before I returned to grab a glass of water and sit down for a few minutes.
“Of course you were,” she snapped. “Where else would you be?”
“Don’t be that way Colby,” I said as I plopped down on the sofa, smile still spread across my face. “I had the best time. We went to Canoe Bay in Wisconsin. They had this….”
“Did I fucking ask?” she interrupted me.
“I didn’t have signal. I would have called. I wanted to tell you all about it. I didn’t know. It was a surprise.”
I was talking fast and with an excited tone. But even as I tried to share the details, something she’d complained that I never did, I watched her face tighten and her eyes roll.
“What the fuck is Canoe Bay?”
“Oh my God Colby,” I exclaimed. “It’s heaven. Pure and simple heaven. Let me show you pictures,” I pulled my phone from my pocket to pull up my photos from the weekend. “I even had a full massage. It was absolutely amazing. And Spencer,” I sighed for a moment before looking back at my phone. “He was perfect.”
“How the hell did Spencer afford this?” she asked as she looked at the pictures.
“I didn’t ask,” I shook my head. “I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“Well don’t you think that’s important?”
“No,” I looked at her, trying to figure out why she wanted to be so insulting. “Look at this shower. It’s a steam shower. And there was a whirlpool and a sauna and….”
“And my birthday,” she spoke quietly. “At least one of us enjoyed it.”
My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I had forgotten. When Spencer had shown up I had been so caught up in the surprise that I’d completely forgotten my best friend’s twenty-fifth birthday.
I felt like a jackass. Colby had planned a night out for the two of us that included all of her favorite places. She told me she didn’t really want a party and since she was between loves she preferred to spend it with just me.
I’d promised to be there. I’d sworn to her that I’d leave Spencer alone Saturday and spent the evening with her. I was a horrible friend, but it wasn’t like I’d planned the trip.
“Colby I’m sorry,” I meant every word. She didn’t deserve that.
“You say that a lot anymore,” she turned and walked towards the recliner across the room. “Did you ever consider maybe trying to stop doing things you have to apologize for?”
“It wasn’t like that. I didn’t mean to miss your birthday,” I tried to explain. “He surprised me. When we left I thought it’d be a couple hours. Then we got there and I…..”
“Forgot? You do that a lot lately too,” she huffed.
“You have to listen to me Colb,” I begged.
“I don’t have to do shit Avery,” she snapped. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
“Stop,” I pleaded. “I love you.”
“I can tell,” she rolled her eyes. “Why do you live here Avery?”
“Are you saying you want me to move?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. Maybe?” she confessed. “Maybe it won’t hurt so bad that you no longer need me if I’m not looking at you every day.”
“Please,” I grabbed her arm as she tried to leave the room. “Forgive me?”
“No,” Colby snapped as she pulled her arm free. “no I don’t forgive you! I probably never will.” and she walked into the kitchen where I heard the door open and slam shut. I’d just fucked up really bad and I wasn’t sure it was going to be fixable.
Chapter 15
“What do you want now?” Colby, standing in the corner by the bar, held a large glass only about one quarter full of drink. The moment she’d seen me, her eyes had glazed over in anger and she’d tried to turn away. “Decide we should just skip being wretchedly miserable and go on home?” she snapped.
“Angry much?” I questioned in my typical cynical tone.
“That almost sounded like Avery,” her eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed as she turned back to face me. “But that would mean that she existed and didn’t die when that loser took off.”
The fissure in my heart tore a little at the sound of her words. She had no idea as she spat them at me that it was tearing me apart inside. Of course she also didn’t know that I’d realized he was gone forever. I had a gut feeling that the latter was the only part that would interest her.
“I’ve never gone anywhere,” I muttered in response. “I’m just hurting.”
“What you are doing Ave,” she took a breath before the sermon continued, “is hurting people around you.”
“What people Colby? Who am I hurting? There’s no one there!” I felt my anger building and I attempted to contain it.
“I’m there,” she waved at the bartender to make her another drink. “But I guess I’m an insignificant person.”
“That’s not what I meant,” my hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “I meant that I’m alone in this. I’m alone Colby.”
“I’m here Avery,” her words were heartfelt, but her eyes were still clouded with anger. “But you have to meet me halfway. I can’t handle you this like.”
“I don’t want to be like this,” I confessed. “What are you drinking?” suddenly a drink sounded perfect and hers looked delectable.
Colby turned and ordered a drink for me and we made our way to a small table across the bar. She was pointing at a variety of people and telling me about them and their lives. How she’d managed to become such a social butterfly I would never understand.
She had been my best friend through most of middle school and all of high school. Back then, Colby had been shy and insecure. It was me that had known everyone and got us involved in everything. Life sure had changed over a decade.
“I’m sorry,” the words came out randomly, when neither of us really expected them. “I really am. I shouldn’t have…..”
“You’re right,” she cut off my sentence. “You shouldn’t have done it. You should have come here and had fun with me.”
“I don’t know how to handle it,” I admitted.
“The same way the rest of us do Ave,” she shook her blonde curls. “You survive. We all just survive.”
“I don’t want to survive,” I whined. “He brought me to life. I lived. I lived so happy.”
“I know,” I saw her nod, but she wouldn’t look me in the eyes. “But maybe it’s because you wanted to be so happy.”
“No,” I shook my head. “He made me happy. When we are together….”
“But you aren’t,” she interrupted again. “You aren’t together. And you have to keep going.”
“I know,” my head hung in humiliation, my eyes still bulging from the tears. “I do know that.”
“I forgive you,” she offered and I looked up and smiled at her.
“I really feel awful,” it wasn’t a lie. The only part I wasn’t wholly straightforward about was what I was omitting. That if he were there, I would prefer him. I would leave with him. I would walk away, letting her stand in the bar and wonder why I’d abandoned her. I couldn’t tell her that. She would never understand.
“Well,” she began, “do you feel bad enough to go to a party?”
“Tonight?”
“no,” she laughed and I breathed a sigh of relief. “I wouldn’t take you anywhere looking like that.”
“Yea,” I wiped at my eyes with my hand. “I probably look pretty rough.”
“unquestionably,” she nodded. “Tomorrow night.”
“What kind of party?” I admit, it sounded enticing and I didn’t even like parties.
“House party,” I saw her eyes light up. “Hot guys everywhere.”
“No guys,” I declared and listened to her laugh.
“Ok,” she agreed. “No guys. But….” Her eyes grew wider, “ lots of drinking and dancing?”
“Deal,” I nodded my approval. “On one condition,” I finished.
“O
h God,” her voice showed her dismay. “What now?”
I felt the pain rumbling below the surface, urging me to get out of the bar before I started crying again.
“I need tonight,” I spoke in barely above a whisper. “I need my best friend tonight. For her to sit with me and stuff our fat faces with chocolate. For her to listen to me cry and hug me and tell me I’ll be okay. I need you.”
“Just for tonight?” she asked, hesitating.
“Just for tonight! And tomorrow we will party,” I agreed.
“Okay,” she smiled. “But, I get to pick the chocolate.”
“Deal!” I laughed. “Can we get out of here?”
“You haven’t touched your drink!” her squeal told me that was unacceptable.
I grabbed the glass, put it to my lips and downed every drop of fruity liquid from inside. I watched Colby laugh and shake her head, grab my arm and lead me away from the bar.
“You are either going to sleep hard or cry hard,” she shook her head as we walked out.
“Well, I think I’m good on the crying,” I answered and we both laughed and made our way back to the room, stopping only to purchase the sweets we were going to need to console my broken heart.
“Best. Ice. Cream. Ever!” Colby announced, making sure to add a dramatic pause in between each word.
She was right. It was an expensive brand that we’d decided to try, loaded with chocolate and peppermint because that was my favorite. We’d been sitting and talking about the party and stuffing spoon fulls of ice cream into our mouths since we’d returned to the room.
I hadn’t really talked about Spencer or what had happened. I was trying to block it out, but as the alcohol I’d added to my system began to take over I realized I wasn’t going to be able to do that. The pain was going to overwhelm me at any time.
“Spit it out,” Colby sputtered through a mouth full of chocolate.
“What?”
“Whatever you are thinking about,” she answered. “This is your one night. So spit it out.”
“He…uh…Spencer….” I was choking back the sobs that wanted to escape my body, reminding myself that I was trying to be okay. “His …” the words wouldn’t come, no matter how hard I tried to speak them.