by S. J. Black
Contents
Can’t Let You Go
CHAPTER ONE
Chapter TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
Can’t Let You Go
By S.J. Black
CHAPTER ONE
Great, another dreaded walk down these corridors. I’m practically walking to my executioner.
Clutching her books to her chest, April Solomon walked towards her locker, ignoring the crowds lingering in the hallway. It was the first break before Chemistry and a long day of arduous practical tests. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she tiredly opened her locker looking for her textbook.
Further down the hallway, a curly haired boy bellowed out.
“Marcus! Where my star players at?” playfully cried out the curly haired boy called Jesse. He was notably in the lower percentage of academic ability. Owing to a lack of effort as opposed to a lack of intellect, he played in the football team on defense. This made him and Marcus Langford a part of a very select club within the school’s social hierarchy. Marcus, and the two boys next to him, turned towards Jesse before hollering back.
“You blind, JJ? There’s players in the house right here!” Marcus cried, placing his palms out on the sides of his mouth.
Two boys stood next to him, both tall and evidently football players with their jerseys. Jackson Rowe, standing the left of Marcus, was lead striker of the football team. He could be seen in the halls with a new girl on his arm and never had a problem arriving late to class. Sheepishly, he would stroll in offering a pacifying smile to the class tutor before offering a calculated ruffling of his hair. This rendered the usual teachers to feel somewhat sorry for Jackson, as he explained that the pressures of playing for the team for a poor boy like him. Pity or adoration would usually get him out of most detentions.
Jackson raised his arm to Jesse in greeting before placing his arm around the shoulders of his newest girlfriend, Federica. Her sudden transfer from Rodal High allowed her to emit an air of quiet indifference to her surroundings. With her short dark hair and thoughtful gaze, Federica had an enchanting aura around her, not particularly caring about what other people thought of her.
“Jesse, where’ve you been dude?” said Jackson before walking towards him. The two boys greeted each other in the middle of the hallway, not too far away from April. She shifted her head slightly to look at the group before her. Marcus and the other boy next to him walked towards Jesse.
As she turned back to her locker, she felt a slight yank at her hair.
Whipping around, she held onto her hair and watched before her. Jesse, Jackson and Marcus were already engaging in conversation whilst Federica looked around, bored already. What the hell, April thought.
The boy standing next to Jesse however, was standing quietly in the conversation, not quite looking at April but smirking vaguely at the ground. He was tall with his wavy hair falling just below his shoulders.
Furrowing her brows, she looked pointedly at him to elicit some sort of response. Did he just tug at her hair again and pretend like nothing had happened?
He rubbed his hand over his face and chuckled at something Marcus was saying.
“What are you looking at?” said Federica pointedly. She raised her eyebrow at April. She scanned her gaze over April from top to bottom before settling her distinctive bored stare back to her face. The boys stopped their conversation, turning to where April stood. She shifted slightly.
“Nothing,” she muttered before slamming her locker shut, heading in the direction for Chemistry. As she strode away, she could hear Marcus snickering with Jackson.
“Someone’s got a crush,” Marcus teased.
“I wonder who she was ogling at,” she heard Jesse say.
“Leave her alone, you guys,” Jackson placated.
“Maybe she wants you, Aaron,” Marcus teased.
“Gross, man. Not this early in the day, please,” the tall boy joked.
The boys elbowed each other in jest and walked towards their next class, before April could hear anymore of their ridicule.
April’s cheeks burned in embarrassment. She took in several deep breaths and entered her class silently, settling into her seat in the middle. The previous encounter in the hallway had been mortifying, enduring their remarks, as if it was so easy to talk cheaply of her. They have no idea how much it fucking kills me each day, she thought.
The other students leisurely gathered into the class, followed shortly behind by Federica and the rest of the group of boys from the hallway. They took their seats to the front with Marcus and Aaron taking their places two seats behind April. As they made their way to their seats, April failed to notice Aaron staring at her as sauntered to his desk, his gaze reading her. April kept her head down on to her book, determined to ignore the chaos around her.
“Hey, stalker. Reading anything we should be concerned about? Any new erotica romances?” Marcus sniggered behind her. April slightly turned her head, seeing if he was talking about her. She blushed profusely, turning back to her book in mortification.
Aaron leaned forward on his table. “Hey, Solomon, we’re talking to you,” he practically hummed.
“Fuck off,” she hissed. Aaron and Marcus howled in pretend outrage. The class teacher walked in before she could catch Aaron throwing a paper ball straight for April’s head. Marcus cackled at the action, causing April to turn around to impart upon them a furious glare, producing an innocent shrug from Marcus.
“All right everyone, let’s begin with last lesson’s assignment and we’ll run through that together,” Ms. Callaghan called out.
Behind April, she could hear the usual snickering from Marcus and Aaron, evoking a terrible gut feeling on today of all days.
“Miss? I don’t think April’s partner is in today and it looks like she could use some a partner for the exercise. Can I join her?” Aaron asked.
April stilled in dread.
“Thank you Aaron, that will be helpful. Alright everyone, essays out please,” she called. April held out her fists nervously on the table. With her partner Jackson being away for a medical exam, she was left to her own devices for the majority of her AP Chemistry classes. To be honest, she wasn’t sure what would happen to her during class but she hadn’t expected Aaron to relocate himself directly next to her. Jackson had always buffered Aaron and Marcus’ attacks with his own sarcastic quips, taking the attention away from her. Until today.
Making his way over to her desk, he unceremoniously dumped his books on her desk, with a sardonic smile placed on his smug face. “Woops, my hand slipped,” he grinned.
April, saying nothing, focused her attention to her essay, determined to ignore him. Unfortunately for her, he wasn’t quite in the ignoring type of mood.
“Excuse me, April but this is a partner exercise; we need to work together. What am I going to do? Peer review my own essay?” he remarked before snatching her essay out her hands. She looked at him incredulously but said nothing. This was a fault of her personality and she hated it; saying nothing. Not standing up for her self. All her life she had been the archetypal good girl; a good daughter, a good student – a girl that ensured there was as little disruption as possible for those around her. She tucked her hair behind her ear self-consciously. Her home life made sure of that.
Coughing slightly, she reached for his essay, before catching his bewildered stare.
“Hey, I didn’t say you could read my essay,” he retorted loudly. April wanted to die inside; he had a unique ability to make her feel lower than she already felt. Why couldn’t he just treat her like she was invisible like everybody else? Why did he have to go out of his way to make her
feel as though she was nothing in this world, nothing that mattered?
Biting her cheek, she looked at him, not quite knowing what to say. “How else am I supposed to do the review?” she bit out.
“I don’t know but you have to ask if you want to touch my stuff,” he said.
“But you just took my essay without asking,” she responded.
“So?” he calmly questioned, raising his eyebrow, challenging to respond otherwise. This was becoming an impossible situation that she wanted no part in. Ignoring him, she turned back to her notebook, with the intention to doodle mindlessly for the remainder of his time here.
April fucking hated Aaron Cole with all of her might; she may have been timid and docile when it came to high school bullying but she definitely imagined various scenarios culminating in his very, slow painful death.
I don’t care, he deserves it.
Since their first year, he made it impossible for her to remain invisible. In terms of the social hierarchy, she was somewhere down the lower end; just above band practice but not quite at the level of nerd. She was just April; keeping herself to herself, hanging with two friends she trusted and reading in her spare time. Sports weren’t exactly her forte – although she loved soccer and basketball. Within the first year, she had tried out for the girls’ basketball team but this was met with a frosty reception. A slim, black haired girl called Jade gave her one stare before telling her in an almost sickly sweet tone that all the slots were filled.
“That makes no sense, auditions are open today,” April probed.
“It does say that,” Jade said lightly. “But not for you,” Jade said nothing after that, leaving April with a pointed smirk.
April promised herself that she would never do that again.
From then on, she had done what she needed to do to draw as little attention to herself as possible. That was the plan, at least, and it was a good plan – until Aaron Cole decided to completely blast that into smithereens.
It started off small. The first few years of high school, they saw each other around but they didn’t really interact much. She caught his eye sometimes, to which he looked away awkwardly as though she was Medusa. But something changed after Aaron joined the football team and became friends with Marcus and Jesse – he became a full-on asshole. She would walk in the hallways to find him staring, with a smug grin on his face. What was his problem? She wanted to yell that to him, right in front of his friends. It would have been pointless though, it was almost though he was waiting for her to make the first move.
The weird looks she could handle, pretending he didn’t exist wasn’t so much of a problem; it was the name calling that got her attention, he began to call her out more, make snide comments to get her to notice.
“Hey, frizz. Woke up on the wrong side of the day today?” he cried, when her curls were unruly that one time.
“Sweet cheeks, can you stop stalking me? It’s starting to scare me,” earning the giggles of a group of cheerleaders around practice time. She was in the gym for class but he made a show of how much she was stalking him. Jade was in fits of laughter.
The worst of it came during English and Chemistry. He would sit behind her, with Marcus, trying to grab her attention. Paper throwing, whispering when the teacher wasn’t looking, and doing everything he could to embarrass her. It was only when Jackson Rowe was allocated a seat next to her that the bullying simmered down. Jackson would take it upon himself to respond to every remark Marcus and Aaron made, as some sort of protective buffer. The look on April’s face when the boys would harass her made Jackson frown in discomfort; her wounded expression haunting his conscience.
So, Jackson took the heat that came their way. The perks of being the class clown meant that he was accustomed to feeling like a fool. He joked back. He took hits. They were outsmarted.
They were until Jackson was ill for that week, leaving April at the mercy of juvenile football players. Aaron took advantage of her predicament quicker than a cheetah feeding on prey.
“Hey Solomon, ever think about me when you’re alone?” he pondered, his head resting in his hand. How long had he been in that position, she wondered.
“No, I do not,” she grit out.
“You’re lying, you’re obsessed with me, I’ve seen you stare,” he bellowed, earning the giggles of Marcus and Federica.
“Can you shut the fuck up? I don’t like you at all,” she pointed out, glaring at him.
“Me think the lady doth protest too much,” he sang, poking her hair again. She slapped his hand from her.
“Don’t touch me,” she threatened. “I knew it was you who pulled it in the hall,”
“You’re right about that, I am just so in love with you April that I need to touch your hair all the time,” he quipped, snorting in derision.
Marcus piped in from the back. “Jeez, get over yourself April, he doesn’t want to go out with you already,” Federica cackled at that.
This was the last straw. She fucking had it with their constant teasing for the last two years and if this was her life, she wanted no part of it.
Standing up without even looking at them, she kicked her chair back and stormed out of the classroom.
“April, where do you think you’re going?” cried the teacher, turning her head disbelievingly. April paid no mind and headed straight for the door, ignoring the mocking calls from Marcus, Jesse and Federica. She noticed that Aaron was oddly silent.
I can’t take anymore; I don’t want to be here.
Scrunching her hair in her fists, she strode to the girls’ bathroom, crashing her body against the sinks, leaning on the counter. Deep breaths, her father had taught her, just keep breathing deeply and slowly. The tears burned at the rim of her eyes. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror to see a shadow of her former self. Her curly hair was still the same, she was growing it longer, but it was perpetually unruly; no curling serum would ever control the mane. Her eyes were red, watery and wracked with sleep deprivation. The anxiety medication had yet to kick in but she could already feel her body was exhausted.
I literally have a few months left and I can’t even get through another two weeks.
Feeling overwhelmed, hungry and mentally drained this early in the morning; April wanted to go home and curl up under her bed, never planning on coming out. Her face crumpled in anguish as her body wracked with broken cries.
A few feet away outside, she could hear the mutters of students walking down the hallway. With no time to prepare, she had to put herself together before being subjected to more ridicule. Wiping her tears quickly before anyone could see, she took one last check at her reflection in the mirror. It would have to do. Splashing her face with cold water, she headed out of the bathroom.
Clearly, the universe was not done with her yet however as upon exiting the bathroom she bumped into a very hard, very tall torso.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you,” she said hastily before looking up.
Fuck.
Aaron was standing before her, quietly reading her expression, a serious air dancing around him. What the fuck did he want now? She tucked her hair behind ear despairingly, making a move around him. He grabbed her arm, stopping her escape.
April pushed at his hand, staring at him incredulously.
“Get the fuck off me,” she grit out, clenching her jaw. April struggled to rip her arm out his grip; his hold was firm, not even flinching at her attempts.
He didn’t say anything as she struggled, staring profoundly instead. Feeling like there was no point, she stilled, giving him a resigned look full of loathing. She hated this man with all her might, and she had no willpower to fight whatever torture he was planning to throw her under. What past life sin had she committed to deserve this?
April looked stubbornly straight at his chest, avoiding any eye contact with this man.
“Have you been crying?” he asked softly.
April said nothing, staring silently ahead. He played his part and n
ow he wanted answers? He didn’t deserve a single breath from her. Silence kills a narcissist, she thought.
“April?” he gently pushed.
“Are you fucking deaf? Don’t touch me,” she uttered, finally meeting his stare.
He let her go after that, holding his arm up in the air as a show of mock surrender. She headed out of the building, ignoring Aaron’s stare at the back of her head.
That was the last time Aaron saw April Solomon - until two years later.
Chapter TWO
TWO YEARS LATER
Something felt very wrong. April inhaled deeply. She could have sworn she had seen Aaron Cole on campus. Was it her mind playing tricks on her?
Her first few weeks were fairly drama free; she had made friends with her roommate Selma, and joined the soccer team - which was a huge win for April. If only Jade could see her now. Her life was finally starting anew. Until she received a phone call that very morning.
Unknown number.
April frowned, she normally would never answer unknown calls; it was either a cold caller or a wrong number. Either way, she had no intention of knowing. Until, the phone calls kept coming. One, two, then, a total of five missed phone calls.
What the hell?
The phone rang yet again. The same unknown caller ID. April frustratingly picked up her phone.
“Hello?” she cried in annoyance.
"April?" a voice hesitantly spoke.
No. It can't be.
April said nothing. Her body froze, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She hadn't heard that voice in over two years and here he was; calling her as if they were long lost pals.
"April? Are you there?" he said.
Silence from her side.
"April, please I know you can hear me. I just want to talk. Can we at least be mature enough to do that?" he almost pleaded.
She hung the phone up on him. Quickly, she scrolled through her mobile settings to block any calls or messages without caller ID.