Tears were Meredith’s domain. She was young and her tenuous sentiments were therefore forgivable. Not so for Felicity. Her sister shed tears for both of them, while she did everything she could to save Meredith and Mama from further pain.
She swiped at the damning wetness falling from the corner of her eyes, her hand shaking. “I should return to Lord Penlow’s room before he wakes.”
She tried to roll away, but Julian’s hand on her shoulder stopped her escape.
“Something has happened to your father, hasn’t it? He would never allow you to...”
Pressing her lips tightly together to hold back a sob, she nodded.
“Sweet girl, come here.”
Felicity surrendered and turned in to his embrace. She buried her face against his neck, the rough shadow of his whiskers chafing her skin. She didn’t care. His strength held her together on the inside while his arms held her securely against him. She dissolved against his chest, her will to fight the injustices of life taking a much needed rest. For this fleeting moment, she wanted to be taken care of by another person.
No, not just anyone. She desired Julian’s comfort. He centered her and absorbed her worries. In the shelter of his arms, she didn’t feel so alone.
He whispered soothing words, kissed her temple, her hair, her forehead. She lifted her face, wishing for the feel of his lips on hers. Her fingers threaded into his silky hair and urged his head down. Julian’s mouth skimmed hers, gently at first then with more insistence when she leaned into his kiss.
A deep moan rumbled in his chest beneath her fingers. He rolled her to her back and settled over her, his hard length pressing against her low belly. The coverlet entrapped her and she struggled to remove the barrier that kept them apart.
“I want…”
Julian’s tongue eased between her parted lips. She opened on a breath and welcomed his heated mouth. Lightheaded and crazed, she greedily drank in his kisses. Her thoughts evaporated almost the moment they were born.
I should not...
I cannot...
Dear God, I must stop.
He pulled back, breaking their contact. “Felicity?” His voice was hoarse and uncertain.
Their surroundings began to take shape as her head cleared. She was pushing against him while her fingers fisted in the fabric of his shirt; even her body was conflicted in the moment. Yet, she could not allow him to bed her. The risk was too great.
She stared up into his stunning blue eyes and opened her mouth to speak.
A door slammed in the corridor, startling them both. Moments later Julian’s chamber door flew open and banged against the wall.
“The girl is missing!” Lord Penlow barged into the room in half-dress with his hair sticking up at odd angles. “She was there when I fell asleep and now she is—”
He skidded to a stop and his gaze froze on the bed.
Blast! This looks damning, indeed.
A lazy smirk eased across Lord Penlow’s lips. “I see you have located her, Jul. I will call off the hounds.”
Julian climbed from the bed and ran a hand through his tousled curls. “It’s not what you think.”
The baron’s eyebrow lifted. “You are not engaged in a rousing game of chess then?”
“I was—We were just—” Julian snatched a pillow from the bed and whacked Lord Penlow. “Why didn’t you knock?”
The baron hooted with laughter as his cousin chased him across the room, connecting a few solid hits in the process. “I care not what you do with the wench so long as I have not lost her.”
“She’s not a wench,” Julian said on a growl and swung the pillow once more.
Lord Penlow blocked the blow and wrestled the pillow from his hands. “Very well. Call her what you like.”
Felicity propped against the iron headboard and tucked the blanket under her chin.
“Miss Halliday was Aunt Alice’s nurse,” Julian said. “The one I told you about.”
Her heart skipped, clumsily tumbling until it recovered and took off in a sprint. Julian had spoken of her?
Lord Penlow’s merriment ebbed, and he moved closer to the bed to study her. “The angel?”
“Please, don’t call me that,” she said. “I am no angel.”
He snickered. “Indeed, Miss Halliday. I would hardly confuse you for one at the moment. Nevertheless, reports of your kindness to our dear aunt did not go unappreciated. Uncle was beside himself, but you eased his mind.”
He moved to the chair Julian had begun the night in and lowered onto it. “What were you doing in an alley? Your father would never approve of such recklessness.”
“Dr. Halliday has passed.” Julian approached the bed and sat on the edge, reaching out to hold her hand. He looked to her to confirm his speculation.
“He suffered a fall three years ago after being summoned to the bed of a sick child. He shattered a vertebra and was gone in an instant.” Felicity recited the facts quickly, not allowing her mind to travel back to that devastating day.
Lord Penlow nodded thoughtfully, perhaps sympathetically. “You do realize I cannot take you to Danby Castle now.”
Her heart leapt into her throat. “Why not? I have already risked so much. It cannot be for naught. My mother and sister—We need the money you promised.”
“I have family members who will know you,” Lord Penlow said. “How can I tell them you are my wife and then have you disappear? A few of my kin are rather fond of you. I cannot have them thinking I have sent you off someplace, now can I?”
Julian’s face darkened. “You are only now thinking through the situation? Look what you’ve put her through already.”
“What would you have me do, Jul? I am not any happier than you are about this development.” The baron pinched the bridge of his nose and released a shaky sigh. “Damn it all. Grandfather will have someone in mind. He probably already has her ensconced in Danby Castle, waiting to spring her on me.”
Felicity couldn’t make heads or tails of his mumblings. “What is to happen with me?” she asked in a near whisper.
Lord Penlow looked up in surprise as if he had forgotten she was still in the room. “I’m afraid you will have to take the post back to London.”
Sandwiched between strangers for a day’s ride held very little appeal, but at least she wasn’t to be abandoned. She wrapped the counterpane around her and scooted from the bed. “I should go ready for my departure.”
“Miss Halliday,” Lord Penlow called as she reached the door.
Felicity stopped to look back over her shoulder.
“The money is yours to keep. You upheld your part of the agreement.”
Her eyes widened a bit in response to his revelation. She glanced at Julian with his arms crossed over his chest and his gaze trained to the floor. Lord Penlow’s offer should leave her overjoyed, but instead sadness settled in her bones. The same sense of loss she had felt all those years ago when she knew she would never see Julian again hit her with the same force. Only this time it was worse because when he had kissed her, she had dared to wonder ‘what if’.
She affected a smile for the baron. “Thank you, my lord. I’d best hurry in the event the coach is leaving soon.” She rushed from the room, aware that Julian hadn’t spoken a word of protest at her returning to London.
~ 9 ~
Julian whirled on Pen as soon as Felicity pulled the door closed. Fury rippled through him, beginning someplace deep inside. His body quaked in the aftermath and he pointed a tremulous finger at his cousin. “You!”
Pen’s eyes rounded. “How have I angered you? I am allowing her to have the money. I thought you would be satisfied.”
“Well, I’m not.” Julian stormed to his trunk and threw open the lid before rifling inside for a clean shirt.
“I fail to understand the nature of your upset. After what she did for our family, I can’t very well deny her payment.”
Julian tossed the clean shirt on the bed and ripped the one he was wearing over his
head. “How long to do you think fifteen hundred pounds will last? Soon enough, she will be risking her safety again by stealing into brothels and sneaking down back alleys.”
Pulling the other shirt on, he turned back to Pen. “What if someone else had accosted her the night she left the theatre? Think how easy it was to pluck her off the streets.”
Pen fingered his nose, jiggling it back and forth. “You possess a horrible memory, Jul. There was nothing easy about it. I still can’t believe my nose was unbroken.”
Julian tucked the ends of his shirt into his waistband. “My point is Felicity is no match for two men wishing her harm.”
“Three. You forgot to count yourself.”
His anger flared. “I wish no harm to come to her.”
“Neither do I.” Pen rose from the seat with a frown. “I am not without sympathy for her, but I don’t know what more it is you want me to do.”
“Nothing more,” Julian snapped and returned to his trunk to retrieve his shaving kit.
“I suppose I could make certain she has a good meal before she leaves.” When Julian replied with only a grunt, Pen sighed and moved towards the door. “Do you wish to see her off?”
“No.”
As the door to his chamber closed, the truth of his response hit him. He didn’t want to see Felicity off, because he didn’t want her to go. Returning her to the life she had been living the last three years was unthinkable, but even more troubling was the selfishness brewing inside him.
He didn’t want to let her go. He wished to run with her and keep her. Shaking his head, he moved to the washstand and poured water into the bowl. Felicity would never abandon her mother and sister nor would he ask her to do so.
Julian lathered his face and set the razor to his whiskered jaw. Although, there was nothing barring him from inviting her family along. After the fortune he’d made in India, two more ladies under his care would hardly be a hardship. He had planned to rent rooms in Town, but he could just as easily acquire lodgings in the country. Perhaps someplace warmer, given the ailment afflicting Felicity’s mother. In the carriage, she had mentioned a trip to Bath when she returned to her family to allow her mother to take treatments for her arthritic limbs. Of course, he couldn’t move the ladies into his home without creating a scandal even his grandfather would be unable to stifle.
Julian slowly lowered the razor and stared at his reflection in the looking glass. His gaping mouth was the perfect companion to his stunned expression.
He could marry her.
Thunder and turf! Why hadn’t that been his first thought? A smile spread across his lips and warmth infused his chest. Felicity was not cut out to be a mistress, but she would make a charming wife.
Grandfather would be pleased, too. Julian would have a wife, one who would keep him in England rather than returning to ‘that godforsaken, malaria-infested underbelly of the world’ as Danby’s letters often accused Calcutta of being. Julian held more fondness for his home these past five years, but he would never dream of exposing Felicity to the dangers of India. And seeing as how it was already settled that he couldn’t live without her, it appeared he was home for good.
Julian rushed through his grooming and hurried to find her before she stepped foot on the coach for London. He rapped sharply on the door, but heard no movements inside. Impatient with waiting, he tried the handle and found the door unlocked. The chamber was also empty. No trunks or anything indicating Felicity would be back.
Panic swelled inside him and he raced for the stairwell.
Damnation. If the coach had left already, he would be forced to hire a horse and ride in this frigid weather. He reached the bottom level of the inn and shot out the door to the empty coaching yard. A stable boy huddled in an overcoat two sizes too large, his breath creating a puff of fog.
“Did the post depart already?” Julian asked.
“No, sir. She hasn’t arrived yet. I think she might have run into some trouble.”
“Perfect!” Julian suppressed his gleeful smile when the servant turned a bewildered look in his direction. “Perfectly inconvenient, that is.”
He didn’t wait to observe the boy’s reaction and dashed back up the stairs into the welcoming warmth of the inn. The private dining room was towards the back of the building off the tavern. Julian suspected he would find Felicity there enjoying a last meal before Pen packed her off to London.
He burst through the door, causing all of the occupants to jump. Felicity’s gaze lingered on him a moment then shifted to the bowl of porridge in front of her.
“Good morning, Mr. Beckford,” Miss Nibbs offered, her friendly smile lending her an attractiveness Julian had not recognized last night.
“Good morning, miss.”
Her smile widened and her magnified eyes blinked in rapid sequence before she lifted her book to bury her nose in it again.
“Have a seat,” Pen said, sweeping his arm to indicate the empty chair beside Felicity.
Lord Keswick sipped his tea, his intense stare focused on Julian. He was a serious fellow, a bookend to Pen’s silliness.
Julian slid into the seat beside Felicity and placed the napkin over his lap.
Pen nodded and pushed a plate of bread at him. “I’m glad you have arrived. I’ve given some thought to our conversation above stairs.”
“I believe I was unreasonable and harsh,” Julian replied. “I beg your forgiveness.”
His cousin waved off his apology. “No, you were correct.” Pen’s gaze flicked to Felicity. “Miss Halliday?”
She looked up, perhaps a bit warily in Julian’s estimation.
“My cousin and I do not feel it is safe for you to return to your work in London.”
“Oh?” The stubborn tilt of her chin made Julian smile. She would be a challenge to manage, especially when he possessed no desire to tame her.
Pen pushed away from the table and stood. “Allow me to finish before you rip me to tatters with your sharp tongue.”
Her lips settled into a hard line and she nodded once.
“I have mulled over our dilemmas, and frankly, it seems we need one another.”
Lord Keswick looked up at Pen, the color draining from his face.
Pen moved around the table to approach Felicity. “You see, Miss Halliday, my grandfather is determined I will marry and fulfill my duty. To this point, I have managed to circumvent his attempts to arrange a marriage on my behalf, but I feel certain Keswick is correct that Danby’s letter is another ruse.”
Julian frowned. Pen hadn’t believed him when he had pointed out the same probability. Keswick apparently had more influence over Pen.
“I am unenthusiastic about trusting my fate to my grandfather,” Pen continued. “I would rather know what it is I am getting into rather than leaving myself at his mercy.”
Keswick stood. “Lee, no.”
Pen glanced at him quickly, but returned his attention to Felicity. “Miss Halliday, it seems you need a husband as badly as I need a wife. Might I persuade you to marry me?”
“No!” Felicity, Keswick, and Julian shouted their replies at the same time.
Pen’s brow wrinkled as he looked around the circle of faces. “No?” His frown deepened when he looked at Julian. “Why are you objecting? I wasn’t offering for your hand.”
Felicity turned her amber gaze on him, waiting.
Julian swallowed and licked his lips. He hadn’t imagined making an offer of marriage with an audience present, and all manner of eloquent wording abandoned him. “You cannot marry Miss Halliday because I want to marry her.”
Felicity’s breath hitched.
“You can’t marry her,” Pen said.
“Why not?” Felicity and Julian asked as one.
His cousin sputtered, his face changing to a shiny red. “Well, because I saw her first.”
Julian scooted closer to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. “Actually, I saw her first five years ago and that night in the alley. Besides, unless
I am mistaken, she favors me.”
Felicity met Julian’s gaze and nodded. “I do.”
Pen narrowed his eyes, signaling a battle of wills would soon ensue, but Julian would win this one. He refused to surrender Felicity, especially when she cared for him in return.
A soft clearing of a throat at the end of the table drew everyone’s attention. Miss Nibbs lowered her book. “My Lord Penlow, may I be so bold as to offer an alternate solution to your dilemma since it appears Miss Halliday’s has been rectified.” She leaned forwards. “You are accepting Mr. Beckford’s proposal, are you not?”
Felicity turned a bright smile on him, making his insides melt into a puddle of uselessness. “I accept.”
“Just as I had gathered,” Miss Nibbs said with a nod.
Pen sat in a chair at the end of the table beside the lady and propped his elbow on the table. “Go on, Miss Nibbs. What is your suggestion?”
Spots of pink colored her round cheeks and she dropped her gaze. “It is just that you need a wife, preferably someone you know, and I no longer wish to be a burden on my brother-in-law.”
Pen’s eyebrows rose. “Indeed. I hadn’t given your situation much consideration.”
She met his gaze then stole a quick glance at Keswick. “Yet, I have given yours much thought, my lord. Perhaps we could reach an agreement that benefits us both. I do not require much. A good book in my hands, and I am as happy as a lark.”
Pen smiled kindly at her. “Miss Nibbs, you possess a heart of gold. I think we might just be able to reach an agreement.” He sat up straight and clapped his hands. “Finish your meals, everyone. We are headed to Gretna Green.”
“An elopement?” Felicity’s scandalized tone gave Julian pause, but then she reached for his hand and squeezed. “How very exciting. May I send a post to Mama to inform her?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea.” In fact, it gave Julian an idea of his own.
“Just make it quick,” Pen snipped. “We haven’t much time to make it across the border and back to Danby Castle before Christmas Eve. Grandfather is likely to be angry enough about the elopement. I don’t want to add fuel to the fire by not arriving at the appointed time.”
A Summons From the Duke (Regency Christmas Summons Collection 2) Page 14