She pressed toward him. Her breasts ached for his touch. She was wet and fighting the urge to writhe against him.
“Are you wet, Anne?”
She nodded, as that feeling that she’d lost connection with some of her mental faculties became even harder to fight. She couldn’t believe she’d admitted being wet and aroused to him. Not that it wouldn’t have been apparent simply by her actions but simply because that was not something she ever thought she could admit to someone.
“Good girl. You please me, Anne. You have no idea how much.”
Good girl.
Such a strange phrase, yet one she’d longed to hear from her mother all her life. She’d worked so hard to be a good girl, and the only person to recognize it was the one person she was being most wicked with, not good at all. It was perplexing.
He moved back across the limo to where he’d been seated originally, and she instantly missed the heat from his body, but she was relieved and able to breathe again. In an instant, she realized just how far in over her head she truly was and wondered how in the hell it had happened so fast.
Chapter Four
“This is what you call breakfast?” She reached out and took the loaded hot dog. To herself, at least, she admitted that it looked really good sitting there in its Kaiser bun, all decked out, right to the pickle spear on top.
He just smiled and took an enormous bite of his own then directed her away from the concession stand with a hand in the small of her back.
“Technically.” He talked around the dog now in his mouth. That smile of his was lethal. Even with pulled-back hair, baseball cap, and mirrored glasses, his smile was still a dead giveaway. No one had a smile like Grey Hendrix.
They walked in silence, except for the sounds around them—kids laughing, lawnmowers and leaf blowers, and the assorted shrill cries of exotic animals. The scent in the air was a strange mix of fresh-cut grass, water, and animal. She’d never been to the small local zoo, though of course she was aware of it. As concierge, she had to be aware of everything in the city, but if she wanted to go to a zoo, she tended to go south to San Diego. As they rounded the corner away from the small park, kiddie playland, and shops into a more tropical setting complete with twenty-foot waterfall and swans, she had to admit it was a beautiful place to be, and the early morning quiet made it seem almost magical.
“I’ve never been here before.”
“I come here all the time.”
Something in his tone sounded wistful, and her gut twisted, wondering how many other women he’d brought here for breakfast.
The morning air was cool against her skin, but by noon the California sun would be bearing down on them, making most people seek the relief of air-conditioning. She took another large bite of her hot dog, relish spilling over onto her top.
She growled.
He laughed.
“Downside to having breasts, I guess.” He pulled a napkin from his pocket and handed it to her. “See, if I did that, the relish would have hit the ground.” He laughed, and she could almost see him wink behind those glasses.
As they walked out onto a gazebo landing, having finished his dog, he threw his wrapper away. She had a few more bites but took only one before tossing hers as well. This was the most bizarre day, and as she’d been up all night, her need for sleep started becoming more of a factor, but she fought hard to keep her wits about her. With Grey, it was a necessity, but she liked that. She liked that he always seemed to be aware of her, of their surroundings—that he always seemed to have something in his eyes that said he was thinking, summing something up, figuring something out. It definitely kept her on her toes, but she liked the way it felt. When he rested his elbows on the railing and stared into the exhibit of howler monkeys and capybaras, she followed suit, quickly covering a yawn.
“You’re getting sleepy on me?”
He nudged her with his shoulder.
“Well, I am ordinarily in bed by now.”
He cleared his throat and smiled wickedly. She blushed and wondered if she should clarify that statement but figured she’d only get her foot deeper into her mouth.
“Well, someone kept me up all night as well, and I’m not yawning.”
She giggled then yawned again.
His energy was different ever since they’d gotten out of the limo. Gone was the sexy playboy. This man beside her now seemed more subdued, melancholy almost.
“I bring my daughter here every week. We have a daddy-daughter day. I miss her like…” His voice grew hoarse. He turned away and looked back out across the small moat that disappeared beneath their feet.
She was stunned at the exposed declaration of love she heard in his tone. The custody battle between himself and his ex, Brittany, was the top news in every entertainment news outlet across the country right now. She didn’t feel she had the right to ask him about it, though. It was too private. Too personal. Even if there was so much she wanted to know. She placed a hand high on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry about the custody case.” She didn’t know what else to say.
He gave her a sad smile as he turned his head to look at her.
“Thanks. I wasn’t looking for sympathy, just got overwhelmed by the emotion of it all. I’m not always good at keeping that stuff to myself.” His laugh this time sounded full of self-derision. “It’s why I keep so many handlers gainfully employed.”
She was struck at what an odd world he must live in. She had nothing to compare it to and felt at a loss to say anything even moderately intelligent on the subject.
“I hadn’t thought you were. Looking for sympathy, that is. I just…” She hesitated, searching for the right words. “It makes me sad to see the headlines every night, I guess. It’s always sad when a family falls apart, but when there are children, it seems worse somehow.”
He turned, leaning one elbow casually on the railing.
“We weren’t ever what you’d call a family. I met Brittany at a time when my addiction was so far out of control, and hers wasn’t far behind me. That was probably the extent of the attraction.” He pulled off the glasses and pinned her with his gaze. “Can I ask you something very personal?”
She swallowed.
“Of course.”
She thought it only fair as he was being so open with her, but she felt uncomfortable being exposed.
“Have you ever had an addiction?”
“No.” She felt relief pour through her body. That was an easy question.
“No one in your family?”
At that question, she tensed some.
“I don’t really have any family, but no one that I know of.”
He slid his glasses back to his eyes and turned to look out across the water again. She felt in some way she had failed him. Like perhaps he’d been looking for someone to bond with over the hardship of addiction, and she hadn’t been able to give him what he needed.
“It’s an ugly disease, Anne. It doesn’t give a shit about your morals or background, your bank balance or your IQ. You get stuck in its claws, and you are at its mercy unlike anything you can even imagine. I have no idea how or why some get out and some don’t. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, but I’ll tell you this, the day I held my daughter for the first time, my entire world changed. That tiny five-pound baby—innocently unaware of what was going on or what she had been born into—saved my life. Because of that, I owe her the world.”
He turned and looked at her again.
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Sophie. Nothing would be too much to give or to sacrifice for her.”
Grey was a damn-sexy man and a talented, charismatic actor, but this side to him—the devoted daddy that the public never saw—was beautiful, and she felt privileged to see it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize being here would affect me like this.” He shrugged. “Never brought any other women here before, just Sophie. It’s our special place.”
She brought her hand down and fo
lded it with her other one, resting them on the rail in front of her. She looked down at a pair of black-necked swans gliding slowly through the water and inhaled an exotic floral scent that hung thick in the air.
“Why did you bring me then?”
He was silent for an uncomfortable amount of time. She wasn’t sure if he was ignoring her question or thinking about it, but when he finally turned to her, he took her hands in his and rubbed his thumbs over her skin, and she nearly melted like ice right into the moat.
“I miss her. It’s funny how fast those little things get under your skin. I thought coming here…Plus you seem like the kind of woman a man can actually trust.” He shook his head. “I don’t meet many people I can trust.”
Her heart ached. She’d been so focused on keeping her guard up with him, assuming he was playing her in some way and when he got bored he’d be gone, but now she saw something different. She had something he needed. In all honesty, it was entirely possible he had something she needed as well. Something in the energy between them shifted. The power altered, giving her a more balanced footing. There was a need within her to be for him what he needed. In a scary way, she suddenly felt that she could.
“You don’t know that you can trust me. I could be a shallow woman just out to use you.”
It seemed odd to her that with his lifestyle and experiences that he would honestly trust someone he really didn’t know. He reached out and brushed three fingers along her jaw line. She audibly sighed.
“True. But I sense something in you, Anne, something I like very much. Your innocent vulnerability is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in forever, and I just want…”
He pulled the glasses off again and this time shoved them in his pocket before taking her hand back in his. In his eyes, she saw the battle he was enduring. Could it be that he truly was just being himself with her? That this was no game but simply attraction to a woman? She loved the way she seemed to be able to read him and wondered if he was always that expressive, that open. She also wondered if he would finish what he started, but in the end decided to save him from having to find the words. “I want to ask my next question.”
He looked relieved when he smiled this time. He released her from his touch and stood straight. “Shoot.”
She drew a breath because she wasn’t sure this question was a very good idea, but she wanted to get his mind off Brittany and Sophie and take away the look of pain and sadness in his eyes. She braced herself internally. “How many woman have you actually slept with?”
He didn’t even miss a beat before he came back with, “Too many to count, but that wasn’t your question, Anne.” His voice dropped and grew silky. “Ask me what you really want to know.”
She shivered. The man messed with her heartbeat and her breathing something awful, but more, it worried her that he could read her so well. Most people either couldn’t or didn’t take the time to bother, but he always seemed to know exactly what was going on inside her mind and was usually a step or two ahead of her.
“Never mind.” She turned to look at the animals again. The howler monkeys were definitely living up to their name, rivaling the sound of the falling water. She imagined you could hear them for at least a straight mile outside the zoo boundaries.
Surprising her, he took her by the arms and pulled her body against his. Virtually alone where they stood, the setting was incredibly intimate. It was early on a weekday, and the only people in the zoo were mothers with preschoolers, and the assorted adults who had nowhere else to be. Still, it was a public place, and how the man made her feel was not conducive to public displays even if she did have fantasies that would argue otherwise. She tried to pull back, but he held her firm.
“Don’t do that.” His serious tone, along with the way he stared deep into her eyes made her feel guilty. “Don’t ever nothing me, or never mind me. I’m a big boy, Anne, and I can handle just about anything you want to throw at me, but I won’t let you lie to me or hide from me. I like you. I’d even go so far as to say I’m drawn to you. I can’t get images of you strapped to my bed out of my mind. I want to strip you naked, lay you down, and explore every inch of skin. I want to know your secrets. I want to know what makes you shiver. I want to hear you moan as I push my cock inside you. I want to watch your body shake as I make you come over and over again. I want to watch the lust grow in your eyes as you give yourself over to me, and I know you want the same, but I can’t do any of those things if you keep walls up between us. So don’t ever answer me with ‘never mind’ again. Are we clear?”
She couldn’t feel her fingertips or her legs anymore. She couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t even sure she was standing any longer of her own accord or if he was holding her up, but she nodded and squeaked out a quiet, “Yes, sir.”
He smiled slowly, and something in his eyes told her she’d given him exactly what he’d been looking for. He released her and took a small step back. Enough so she knew he wasn’t controlling her. She had the free will to run if she wanted, but he wasn’t so far away that she couldn’t feel his heat, inhale his scent.
“Ask your question, Anne.” His tone was firm and demanding and sent a thrill straight through her. She grew wet. It was the strangest thing to have someone’s voice alone have that kind of effect on her body, but there was no arguing with facts. She was wet, and he hadn’t done much other than speak to her.
When he had first offered her these questions, it seemed like win-win for her, but it wasn’t working out that way so far. She blinked and tried to calm her racing heart. She knew she would have to ask the question now. Instinctively she knew if she didn’t, he’d take her home and she’d never see him again. She wasn’t willing to say good-bye—not yet, anyway. She had to play by his rules, like it or not. She drew a breath and closed her eyes.
You’re not a coward, Anne.
If she was going to do this, she needed to do it right. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his.
“I’ve read things”—she drew another breath—“about you and sex clubs and kinky…” She swallowed and forced herself to finish. “How freaky are you in bed, Grey? Really?”
She couldn’t believe she had asked, but she’d been wondering since she first saw him standing there listening to all her secrets. It was one of the first thoughts that had crossed her mind. In a strange way, it felt good to simply ask.
* * * *
“Why, little Anne, not so timid as you seem.”
Grey had never experienced a woman like Anne. She wound him up in a way he’d never felt before. Her mix of innocence, fear, and absolute strength in her deep-brown eyes nearly undid him. She would be the perfect submissive, but he had to go slow. He sure as hell didn’t want to scare her, but he’d been testing her, and he could see it plain as day. She had the need, and oh, how easily she started to go under into subspace. Back in the limo, it took every ounce of strength to stop when he saw her eyes go glassy and heard that deep, seductive purr sneak into her voice.
Being submissive to his desires would give her everything she’d been searching for. However, taking a shy vanilla woman across that line into the world of dominance and submission was not something to rush or to take lightly. His number-one rule as a dom was to protect his sub, and something in him knew this would be the affair of his life, so there was no point rushing it. At the same time, he had the pressure of the court case hanging over his head. He needed to be available for Sophie’s needs, whatever they were, whenever they were. He had no intention of getting involved in a long-term affair, but did he have it in him to take her to the brink of ecstasy, watch her spill over into subspace, see her step into her nature and own her submissive side, and then walk away?
He loved the way her eyes narrowed on him as she took his gentle teasing. She gave him just enough in her facial expression to make him feel the sting, but he loved the way she stayed quiet at the same time. She wanted her answer. He wondered how much she could really take in response though.
; “I’m not vanilla in bed most times.” He tested her, watching her facial expression, wanting to know if she even understood the term. The confusion in her eyes told him she didn’t. “Vanilla is a term used to convey conventional sex. Missionary position on a Saturday night, in bed with the lights off, for example. Ordinary. It particularly refers to sex not involving such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetishes.”
He waited, letting that sink in, watching her, reading her responses, being aware of her breathing, learning her.
She chewed the tiniest corner of her lower lip. He could tell she was uncomfortable. She was playing with her fingers, and she was consciously taking slow breaths, but most importantly, she didn’t tell him to stop.
“I’m dominant in the bedroom, Anne. I like a woman to submit to me, to my desires. Does that scare you?”
She blinked rapidly.
“I don’t think so.”
It surprised him how much pleasure her answer gave him. She was willing to push herself out of her ordinary. That quality was something you couldn’t buy, making it priceless.
“I’m not hardcore into the lifestyle. I’ve never collared a woman, I would never have you eat off the floor, and I don’t have my subs clean my house naked. I’m not into extremes.”
In that moment—despite his words—an image of Anne’s bare ass bent over scrubbing his floor popped into his head, and he went rock hard. He had to draw a slow breath himself and push the image away. He never wanted to dominate a woman like that, role-play maybe, but not seriously have that kind of control over a woman. He preferred his women strong-willed and a little stubborn. The average person would probably be surprised at how little a part sex actually played in D/s. A large part of it was about the power exchange and the mind fuck, and he wanted a challenge from his women. Anne, he knew in his gut, would give him everything he needed and more.
He reached out and pushed his hand through her hair until he cradled the back of her head in his palm. “I want to dominate you, Anne, but only if you let me. Only if you surrender freely. There is no thrill in forcing a woman to submit. It has to come from you, your desires, your heart. I need to know that you receive as much pleasure from your submission as I do from dominating you. Do you understand any of this?”
Lucas, Samantha - The Seduction of Anne Ruby [The Seduction 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 6