by Eden Finley
“Are you going to do something about it or just stare at it?” I quipped.
Xander laughed. “If I didn’t have bigger plans for you right now, I’d shut you up by forcing you to deepthroat my cock.”
“There wouldn’t be any forcing about it.” I looked over my shoulder at him and winked.
Xander shook his head and grinned. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.”
I pushed my ass out farther, rubbing my ready and waiting core against his dick.
“You ready for me?”
“Definitely.” I could feel wetness practically dripping out of me. I needed him. It didn’t take much for Xander to get me to breaking point.
Without any more delay, Xander thrust inside. His moan was long and loud while I let out a grunt. His hands dug into my hips, holding me in place. I stretched around him, adjusting to his size. I might not have been completely ready, but I welcomed the sting—the fullness. I wanted more.
“You know what I can’t wait for?” Xander gritted out while pulling back out of me slowly. When he thrust back in, hard, I gasped.
“What?”
One of his hands left me, and I heard a popping noise. When a wet finger toyed around my puckered ass, I cursed. Just the idea of it almost made me fall apart.
“I can’t wait for Roman and I to share you. Me, here”—Xander picked up his pace, thrusting in and out of me—“and Roman here.” His finger breached my hole and I cried out.
“More,” I begged.
“More?” he asked, his tone amused. “You’re going to have to work for more. Get Roman to agree to doing this with us.”
“I will,” I promised. “Just … fuck … I need … I need—”
Xander added a second finger—stretching, massaging—while he fucked me with no rhythm or finesse anymore. His hips rolled, hitting me at a different angle, and my inner muscles clenched.
“Come, Delia. Come apart.”
I was so close, my hips bucked, and the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room.
“What if I do this?” he said softly. With his free hand, his fingers came down between my legs and teased my clit.
“Fuck!” I trembled at the lightest touch, unravelling before him and losing all control. My body contracted. And then again. And again, and again, and again.
Xander thrust once. Twice. On the third time, he stilled, grunting quietly as he convulsed inside me, spilling his seed.
When we both collapsed on the bed, him on his back and me on my stomach, he threw his arm over his eyes and grinned.
“It’s only going to get better,” he said with the confidence of a king.
“Fuck, yeah, it will.”
Xander chuckled. “That mouth will get you in trouble one day when you’re queen.”
I held in a sigh. He still didn’t get it. I wasn’t going to be queen. I’d have to come clean sooner or later, but I didn’t want this to end just yet.
“Don’t clean up,” he said. “I want you smelling like me while you’re with him.”
Goddamn, if that didn’t make me ready for another round. I felt owned. Cherished. All from a man who was going to rule a freaking country one day.
This was so going to blow up in my face.
Ten minutes after I recovered from our afternoon tryst, I slipped my shoes back on, tied my hair back in a messy bun, and headed for Xander’s bedroom door. He was still in bed with a satisfied look on his face.
“Do I have any ground rules in trying to get Roman to join us?” I asked.
His smile fell as he sat up. “Like what?”
“Sex. Kissing. Anything. If you’re not comfortable with me doing any of that without you there, you need to tell me.” Not that I thought any of that would happen. Roman was in love with Xander, not me.
Xander opened his mouth to say something but then it shut again.
“You can say no. This isn’t a test. If you want this—the three of us—there’s going to be a lot of rules we’d have to work out.”
“I don’t know. I mean, the thought of you two going at it without me sucks, but you and I just had sex, so is that being hypocritical?”
“You and I are … courting, if you want to use that word. Right now, Roman claims he doesn’t want to be involved in that. I don’t think anything is going to happen, but I need lines to be drawn so I know not to cross them.”
“I won’t be mad if you hook up, but if you do, you have to give me all the dirty details.”
I hadn’t known Xander long, but I already knew that was a typical Xander answer. “Will do. And while you’ve got some time, why don’t you give more thought to why Roman is acting the way he is. I think the reason is blaringly obvious, but you’re both too blind to see it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he called after me as I left the room. I didn’t answer him.
The first thing I had to do before going to find Roman was change into comfortable clothes, so I headed for my bedroom. However, when I reached the thick wooden double doors, Roman was already standing there.
With his hands in his pocket, his head down, he looked nauseated. “How did you know?”
“That you’re in love with Xander?”
He averted his gaze.
“It’s in the way you talk about him. The affliction and longing in your voice is hard to miss.”
“You didn’t tell … I mean, have you …”
“It’s not my place to tell him. It’s yours. Did you want to come in,”—I pointed to my room—“have tea, and talk about it?”
Without a word, he followed me inside. My suite was insane, to say the least—bigger than my own apartment. A four-post bed like in Xander’s room took up little space. I had my own sitting area with a fireplace, for crying out loud.
I called on the internal phone for someone to send up some tea and scones, and when my eyes found Roman’s again, he was watching my every move.
“What they’re saying is true, isn’t it?” he asked.
“And what is it that ‘they’re’ saying?”
“You’re going to be queen.”
“That’s what Xander wants. He wants a lot of things that aren’t possibilities.”
“Why isn’t it a possibility?”
“Okay, if we’re going to do this, we need something less formal than tea. And I need to get out of this dress. Can you get them to bring up some liquor too, while I go get changed?”
“I’m technically still on the job, D. I can’t drink.”
A smile slowly spread across my face.
“What are you smiling at?”
“You called me D. I liked it,” I whispered. I reached for the hem of my dress, but before I could lift it over my head, Roman’s voice stopped me.
“What are you doing?”
“You and I are going to bond. Feel free to look away, but I need to get into something more comfortable.”
His mouth opened to protest, but I cut him off.
“Before you go jumping to conclusions, I literally mean something comfortable like yoga pants and a tank top.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I didn’t check to see if he was watching me as I changed, but I knew he was. The muffled groan was a dead giveaway.
“Are you ready for some serious bonding?” I asked when the tea arrived.
“Bring it,” he said with an easy smile.
I took my seat on the couch, curled my feet up beside me, and nursed my cup in my hands. Roman sat across from me.
“Xander has this crazy idea that he can have his cake and eat it too,” I said.
“Are you the cake in this scenario, or am I?”
I took a sip of tea. “We both are.”
“A polyamorous crown prince. The king would have a coronary.”
“That could be fun to watch.”
Roman scoffed. “You and Xander are a match made in heaven.”
“No. We really aren’t. And once the palace finds out the truth …”
“What truth?”
Was I really about to confess all to a guy I didn’t know? Then again, there was a lot of stupid things I did with guys I didn’t know. “I let Xander believe the reason the palace won’t accept me is because I’m a socialite who’s done some … morally questionable things in the past.”
“Like had a three-way at an anonymous sex club where you need to be a member to have been able to set foot in there? Yeah, I was wondering about that. I take it Xander was your plus one?”
“Wasn’t my first time there,” I admitted. “But like Xander said, the palace could easily cover that up. My membership isn’t under my real name. If people were to come forward claiming they’d been with me or seen me there, it would be easy to say it was slanderous lies and sue them for defamation. There’s no proof of me doing all those things. There is, however, proof I’m not eligible for the crown.”
“What proof?”
I huffed a sad laugh. “You know why I think I’ve connected to Xander so easily? It’s because I know what it’s like to be the big family secret. Xander’s forced to hide his sexuality. I’m forced to hide who I am.”
“You’re confusing me.”
I sat forward and put my tea on the coffee table. “When I was thirteen, I was on the family’s country estate riding my bike. I wasn’t watching where I was going, and one of the groundskeepers didn’t see me. He was on our industrial-size lawn mower.”
“Shit.”
“The scars are faded now, but you can still see the worst one.” I bent my arm and ran my finger from my shoulder to my elbow. “It’s faint, but it’s still there.”
“I’m confused. You’re ineligible because you fell off a bike?”
“I lost a lot of blood, and by the time I got to the hospital, I needed a blood transfusion. They had some that was a match, but they asked my parents to donate in case I needed more.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Turns out Mum and Dad’s combination of blood couldn’t have produced me. My blood type is A negative, but Mum and Dad both have O blood types. It’s not possible.”
“You’re not a true Hillington,” Roman said.
“I’m ineligible because I’m not a nobleman’s daughter.”
“Do you know who your real dad is?”
I laughed because it was all so ironic. “The groundskeeper who ran me over.” My laugh turned hysterical now because no matter how many times I thought of that story, I still found it hilarious that the man found out he had a daughter by almost killing her.
“Where is he now?”
“Don’t know. He was fired after that. Disappeared. My parents stayed together even when the news of the affair came to light—”
“Lords don’t get divorced,” Roman said.
“I suspect my father … er, my stepfather? I don’t know what he is. The man who raised me paid the man off, no doubt.”
“And Xander doesn’t know this?”
I shook my head. “He’ll find out soon enough. As much as I want to be what he wants me to be, the palace won’t accept it.”
Roman leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Can I ask what you’re doing here then? Why put through Xander falling for you if you’re going to leave him?”
“Xander won’t fall for me. He can’t when …” When he’s in love with you, you idiot. Though, I suspected Xander didn’t even know it at that point.
“When what?”
“The night after we … after the club, he told me he couldn’t fall in love. He said he’s incapable of it.”
“That’s Xander though. Doesn’t mean he’s not capable. It means he doesn’t want to. I think you should tell him the truth.”
“I could say the same to you,” I said. “You should tell Xander you want to be with him.”
“You don’t think I’ve thought about it?” he snapped. “I never thought I’d have the chance to be with him, and even if I did, I knew it would be temporary. The country won’t accept a future king who’s in a same-sex relationship. And no way would I ask him to abdicate. Duty to our country comes before our wants. It was the way he was raised and the way I was trained in the military. So why would I tell him when we know it’ll end?”
Welcome to my life. “Because one day he will run this country, and he’ll be miserable the whole time doing it. Doesn’t he deserve to experience something for himself before he gives it all up to serve his crown? That’s why I agreed to be with him this summer.”
“I can’t do that. It’s hard enough trying to forget our night together. A whole summer? I don’t care if it’s selfish, I can’t do that to myself.”
“I understand.” More than he knew. Part of me had already fallen for Xander. I wanted to give him everything he wanted. I felt it was my duty to make my future king happy. But when this was over, I still had a life out there. He didn’t. Putting him above myself was my only priority. When it ended, I could deal with it then. Until I was given my marching orders from the king or queen, I’d give anything Xander asked for. I wished I could give him Roman too, but I could also see where Roman was coming from. Our fling would break him, and Xander wouldn’t want that. “I guess I figured if we can’t be together in the long run, we should have fun and make the most of what we have now.”
“Have you ever been in love?” Roman asked. He knew the answer to that before he’d asked it. The pain on his face let me know exactly what he was thinking. “Because I can tell you now, being around someone you can’t have is torture. Living without them completely like I have this last year? I honestly don’t know how I’ve survived it. And now, being back in the palace, I have to sit back and watch as he falls for you—someone who’s perfect for him—and there isn’t anything I can do about it.”
The door to my bedroom burst open, and Xander stormed in, glaring at Roman. “You’re in love with me?”
Oooh, shit.
Xander
Delia was right. I was so fucking blind. In my whole life, I’d probably had one other light-bulb moment, where everything suddenly made sense, and I realised I was a dumbass for not knowing sooner.
The first time wasn’t nearly as momentous as this. No, realising that will.i.am from Black Eyed Peas was will.i.am because it spelled William, wasn’t as life changing as finding out the only person you’d ever cared for outside your family was in love with you.
“You’re in love with me?” I repeated, quieter this time.
Roman stared, wide-eyed, and then glared at Delia. “You said you didn’t—”
She threw a hand up in surrender. “I never told him anything. I told him to work it out himself.”
“You knew?” I asked her.
Roman stood from the couch. “Well, I guess I’m going to go quit my job now.”
“No fucking way,” I said and blocked his path to the door.
“We’re not doing this,” Roman said. “I’m leaving.”
Why was he determined to run away from me? “Don’t walk out on me again. Please.”
That stopped Roman short. I didn’t know what it was about these two, but they both brought out my urge to beg.
“I was reassigned. I didn’t walk out on you.” His voice had an odd quality to it. It had an edge of irritation but mostly held reassurance.
“Felt like it to me. I didn’t understand it until today. I thought we were friends. You’re the best bodyguard I’ve ever had because you listened to me. You talked to me. You didn’t treat me like a job. Then when you were reassigned, bam, I found out how you really felt. I was an assignment to you.”
“That’s not it.”
“I know that now. You call me by my title to piss me off and keep me away. You know it’s the one thing I can’t stand, and when Delia told me you call me Xander all the time not to my face, I had to wonder why.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Roman said. “This isn’t going to work. You think we can fool around without the palace knowing?”
“I don’t want to fool around.” I wasn’t shoc
ked by my words. Everything changed that night at the club when I realised it was Roman. “I want more than that.” My eyes went to Delia. “With both of you.”
Roman folded his arms across his chest. “And how do you propose that would work?”
“To the public, Delia will be my wife, and you’ll be our bodyguard.”
Roman looked at Delia. “You going to tell him, or should I?”
“Tell me what?”
Delia refused to look at me.
“She’s ineligible for the crown. Her father isn’t Lord Hillington but a commoner. Like me.”
“Delia?”
“It’s true,” Delia whispered.
“Why didn’t you—” I sighed. “You’ve been trying to tell me this whole time.” I ran my hand through my hair. “Fuck it, I don’t care.”
“The king and queen will,” Roman pointed out. “And you can’t keep it from them. The future queen will be heavily vetted. They’ll find out one way or another.”
I made my way to the couch and slumped down next to Delia. “This is fucked.”
“I’m sorry,” Delia whispered. “I thought I could give you what you wanted, even if it was only for a little while.”
“Did you get him to agree yet?” I already knew the answer but thought I’d ask anyway.
“No. Like you said, he’s stubborn.”
“He’s still standing right here,” Roman said.
“He’s scared he’s going to get hurt when he’ll inevitably be forced to walk away,” Delia said, ignoring him.
“Jesus H. Christ,” Roman mumbled.
I put my arm around Delia and pulled her into me. “Should we tell him I don’t ever want to hurt him? That this last year has been miserable without him by my side? That I may’ve been a blind moron for not seeing what was in front of me that whole time, and that I was always thankful for his friendship?” My eyes found his, and they were burning into me. I kept our gaze but still spoke as if I was talking to Delia, when we all knew I wasn’t. “Should I tell him that had I known how he felt, I never would’ve taunted him by asking to join me on my sexcapades but dragged him to my room where I could have him all to myself?”