by Eden Finley
“Shit,” I muttered.
In light of recent claims where a man exposed his alleged affair with the crown prince, photos of his rumoured queen-to-be have surfaced of her and her royal guard in a compromising position.
A source says they’re helping to cover up Prince Alexander’s true sexuality and were also seen at a charity luncheon together earlier in the week.
My eyes found Grandfather’s in the front row. His ever-present scowl was on his face, so that wasn’t anything new, but I doubted he knew about this yet. I was still breathing, for one.
“Should we get the king?” I asked.
“No,” Trisha whispered. “It’s too late for that. The press will swarm. Do as we already had planned. Talk about your family, the loss, the attack, but do not mention any upcoming nuptials. Ignore the questions at the end in regards to anything but the memorial.”
“Okay.”
“We can’t keep them waiting.”
I spared a glance in the direction of Roman and Delia. Roman furrowed his brow and mouthed “Are you okay?”
I wanted to go to them and explain, but there was no time and it’d make everything worse.
My hands trembled as I took to the podium. I had point cards in front of me—Grandfather never believed in using teleprompters—but the words on the paper were all a blur. “Prince Christian and Princess Prudence were national treasures. Their work with countless charities and programs that serve this country were notable.” As I started to rattle off the many foundations my parents founded, I realised I was reading their resumes at a memorial service of their lives. My unemotional speech was cold and empty, just like Grandfather wanted.
I looked out at the sea of people who wanted a scoop. They weren’t here for this. They already knew what my parents had accomplished. They didn’t need to be reminded.
My gaze went to Delia and Roman again, and that nagging voice that belonged to my annoyingly smart sister rang out. I needed to let them off the hook. Outside of the palace, they could’ve had a normal life with each other. A normal life with me wasn’t an option. As king, I’d have to be careful of what I said and did every single day. I’d been selfish in thinking we had a happy future together. What we really had was a recipe for disaster and heartache. Roman was right.
In that moment, I couldn’t think of anything more important than the two people who were willing to give up their own freedom for me.
The thought of abdicating right there and then made me want to scream it out loud and run away, but I couldn’t do that. I needed to take my rightful place and honour my parents.
I refused to be the guy to force Delia and Roman to live my life, and standing here, looking out at each and every reporter who wanted to dissect my life and my sexuality, I saw my future. No way did I want to expose Roman and Delia to the same crap.
With resolve, I placed the note cards on the podium and steeled myself for what I had to do. “You know, my whole life has been lessons upon lessons of how to act, what to say, and what to do. I stand here as your crown prince reciting words that were written for me. I’ve often been told royals can’t show weakness. We’re a classy, dignified bunch, and we need to remain composed at all times.”
I barked out a laugh. “Oh boy, if you guys could’ve seen some of the yelling matches my parents had at home when my sister and I were kids …” I cleared my throat at the shocked gasp in the audience. Royals never talked about their home life. “My parents loved each other, there was no doubt about that, but their views on parenting were greatly different.
“Dad wanted Annie and me to be like him. Strong, confident, and royal. I think it’s easy to forget that we’re people too. I was warned before getting up here today that if I talked about my parents and sister and showed too much emotion, this would have people perceive me as a weak leader. As a citizen of Ashwick, I’d prefer my leader to have a heart. Compassion. Empathy. These were all traits I inherited from my mother—the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”
I looked at my grandmother in the front row. “Sorry, Nanna. You’re a close second, I promise.”
The reporters laughed, and Nanna wore a small smile. Next to her, my grandfather did not. Surprise, surprise. He was probably pissed I’d addressed the queen so casually in public. That was a big royal no-no.
“My point here is, being royal sometimes means I’m not supposed to act like a normal human. I love my country, I love my people, but more importantly, I love my family. I miss them. Every day. But I can’t keep pretending to be something I’m not just to honour their legacy.” I glanced at the sky. “I’m sorry, Mum and Dad.”
Murmurs broke out.
I blew out a loud breath. “There has always been rumours about me. I drink too much, I party too hard, I prefer the company of men … I could go on. There’s been rumours about everything. Recently, my relationship with Cordelia Hillington has been put under a microscope.”
My eyes found hers again, and she gave me an encouraging nod. I was supposed to announce our engagement, and instead, I was publicly breaking up with her.
A whole new level of assholedom had been achieved.
“The truth is …” I put my hand in my pocket, even though it would be assessed and dissected by body language experts in the media later. But I needed a piece of Roman. I’d taken up the habit of carrying his cufflink around with me at all times. I needed to give it back, but I didn’t want to.
I rubbed over the platinum metal and then held it tight in my hand.
“The truth is Delia and I are just friends. She’s my best friend, and that won’t change, but she will never become the queen of Ashwick. Who I spend my time with romantically shouldn’t be a concern to the public. I wasn’t born to lead; I inherited my position. My number one priority will always be this country and my people. I don’t have the focus right now to learn how to rule while also fall in love with someone. One day, I will meet my queen, and we will fulfil our royal duties of producing heirs. But right now, my focus is on becoming the king my parents would want me to be. If I can strive to be half the leader my sister would’ve made, the country will be in great shape. I’m taking this chance to address the entire nation and make a vow. I take my role as heir apparent seriously, and I promise to become the best damned king I can be. I pledge myself to you.”
An eerie silence fell over the crowd, and my face began to heat. There was too much scrutiny—too much judging. I had to hold strong. How could I be king if I couldn’t even handle a stare down with the press? I didn’t dare glance in Delia’s and Roman’s direction. I couldn’t.
I went for a joke to break the tension.
“And I promise I’ll try not to say ‘damned’ in my next speech.”
I got a few laughs, but I’d changed the entire tone of the conference with my vow.
Everyone was looking at me how they looked at my grandfather.
I’d taken my place, accepted it, and crushed my heart and soul in the process.
Roman
Delia and I watched as Xander left the podium and walked in the opposite direction to us.
“What the fuck just happened?” Delia whispered, her composed persona slipping for a millisecond.
“I think … I think he just broke up us. He’s choosing his crown.”
“Wrong. He broke up with me. Not you.”
I wanted to wrap her in my arms and prove to her that she and I had become a package deal, just as much as Xander and I were or she and Xander. But we were in public. Even if Xander just told the world there was nothing between him and Delia, I was still unfit to be by her side. She was a nobleman’s daughter, and I was a servant.
“Something else is going on,” I murmured. There had to be.
I knew Xander was freaking out about this press conference, but everything was all set to announce their engagement. The look he gave me before he took to the podium should’ve tipped me off that something wasn’t right. I thought it was nerves about his family, but then … shit, his
drunken ramblings from the other night came back to me. He was setting us free.
I blew out a loud breath. “He thinks we deserve better. He’s pulling the martyr card.”
Before we could chase him and tell him how much of an idiot he was, Trisha approached us.
“You’re both probably confused, but maybe this will explain a few things.” She held out her cell phone with an image of Delia and me in the car.
“Shit,” I hissed.
Trisha turned to Delia. “The prince would like to see you in your chambers. He has a meeting with the king but will be up shortly.”
I went to follow Delia, but Trisha stopped us both from leaving.
“Roman, you have a meeting with the head of the royal guard.” Her words were sympathetic, as if giving a cancer patient a terminal prognosis.
I was fired. So fired. There was photographic evidence that I’d crossed a line with my charge. I was well and truly fucked.
When Trisha walked away, my heart hammered in my ears.
I forced myself to keep composure. “D, you find out what Xander wanted to achieve out of this. I assume I won’t be welcome back in the palace after today. I’ll swing by your place tonight.”
Her brow furrowed in an adorable way. “How do you know where I live?”
“Royal guard, sweetheart.” I stepped closer to her. “No matter what happens with Xander, I’m still here for you, okay? I get the feeling we’re both in the same boat right now.”
Delia nodded, and all I wanted to do was comfort her and draw her in close.
One of my co-workers approached, assigned the with job of escorting Delia back to her room.
I took a deep breath and prepared myself to be chewed out by my boss. Brad appeared at my side, and he didn’t need to say anything for me to know it was his job to escort me to where my ass would be handed to me. I wanted to ask where Quin was, but he no doubt had others to look after him like Delia did.
As our feet took us across the palace grounds, I swore I could hear an almost silent death march following us. Brad’s continued silence didn’t help.
Simon—head of the royal guard—was behind his desk with his fingers steepled below his chin when we entered the office. Bryant was there too, and he gestured for me to sit. Fucking great.
I had to let them do all the talking first and try to figure out just how much he knew. However, Simon cut right to the chase.
“Have you had inappropriate relations with Cordelia Hillington while on the clock?”
I shifted in my seat and cleared my throat. “Define inappropriate …”
Fuck, now I was in deep shit. He’d ask if I’ve had sex with her, which I have. Countless times.
“You know exactly what it means. You stay past your shifts, you’ve been seen coming and going from Cordelia’s private bedroom, and there’s a photo of you kissing in a tabloid, for goodness’ sake.”
“The kiss was a peck. She was going through a hard time, I gave her advice, and she was thanking me.” Totally not lying.
Simon groaned. “Don’t make me say it …” He sighed. “Have you had sex with Cordelia Hillington? Yes or no. That’s all you have to say.”
I couldn’t lie and turn my back on Delia after what Xander just did to us. It wasn’t entirely clear that he did end it, but it sounded pretty final to me. Maybe I was reading into it, but I knew the man better than anyone else in the world. That wasn’t him pledging himself to his country. That was him, shutting us out. I wasn’t going to do the same to Delia. No fucking way. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Damn it,” Simon muttered. “You’re no longer a member of the royal guard, and Brad will escort you off the premises. Turn in your ID and weapon, and any other belongings you have in the palace will be boxed and shipped to you.”
Simon’s tone had turned cold. I knew I fucked up, and I knew this was a risk when I started up with Delia and Xander, but now that it was happening, and I was losing everything, I couldn’t breathe.
“You’re one of the best guys I have, and you go and fuck it up?” Simon must’ve been super pissed to start dropping F-bombs.
“I know it’s no consolation, but it wasn’t just goofing around. I tried to resist—I take my job seriously—but … we fell in l—”
Simon shook his head. “You’ve blown your whole career. You realise that? And for what? Someone you could never have a future with. Up until this morning she was going to be the next queen of Ashwick. Now, because you can’t keep it in your pants, the prince has called it all off.”
Brad and I shared a glance before I hung my head. Guess a glowing reference was out of the question. My boss blamed me for single-handedly ruining the future monarchy.
“You’re dismissed,” Simon said.
Without another word, I stood and did as I was told, leaving my gun and ID on Simon’s desk. I managed to hold my head high as I left the room, and Brad followed me. He stayed silent until we were at least out of the royal offices. When he went to open his mouth, I cut him off.
“No need for I told you so.”
“Wasn’t going to say a thing. Not about that anyway. How about that beer I offered?”
“I need to get to Delia’s.”
“She’s with the prince. Who knows how long they’ll be.”
I took a deep breath because he was right. “One drink won’t hurt. Might settle the adrenaline from being fired.” I stalled in my footsteps as the truth out loud sounded way worse than in my head. “Fuck. I’m unemployed. What the hell am I supposed to do with my life?”
“I’m guessing you still don’t want to be told I told you so …”
“Please tell me you haven’t fucked up again, because I can warn you now—this is your future if you get into bed with a prince.”
Brad shook his head. “Nope. Quin and I act as if it never happened. It’s understood it was a one-time thing.”
“Good.”
“What do you think Xander and Delia are going to do?” Brad asked.
“Oh, she was ready to tear him apart when he publicly announced she was nothing to him. I have no doubt he’s being yelled at right now.”
Poor Xander. I would not want to be on the receiving end of Delia’s wrath. Granted, I’d never seen her lose her cool, but she had that fire in her that could bring a man to his knees.
Delia
It wasn’t the first time since I started seeing Xander that I was thankful for the walls being thick. I’d probably be charged with treason with how loud I was yelling at him. “You did this for us? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“You deserve better than this life.”
“Yes, I hear that a lot about being a queen—that women deserve better than being treated like one.”
“You know what I mean. The constant scrutiny, the press attacking you, people thinking it’s okay to trash you on social media just because you’re a public figure. Have you seen the article that outed you and Roman? I have. It’s not pretty. Because you were rumoured to be with me, you’ve been labelled the slut of Ashwick, and Roman’s been reduced to a boy toy. You both deserve more than me.”
“You’re damn right we do. Yet we chose you anyway.”
Xander’s eyes widened before he schooled his features. “Well, then I guess we’re done here, because I’m not letting you choose me.”
“You would rather claim a crown you don’t want over two people who lo … lov …”
“Can’t even say the words, huh, Delia? You don’t love me. We were a fling.”
I knew his words were lies to push me away. They had to be. When I was with him and Roman, everything fit. Now we were broken jigsaw puzzle pieces, and it was all Xander’s fault.
“What about Roman?” I asked. “He won’t survive losing you.”
“He still has you.”
“I’m not the one he’s madly in love with.”
“He has strong feelings for you. I’ve seen it. You two don’t need me. You can go live normal, happy lives. You’re common
ers, so go be … common.”
The desire to tell my future king to fuck off was strong, but I held back. “And you?”
“I am a servant to my crown, and I will honour my vow and legacy.”
I shook my head. “Might need to practice that speech a little more until it’s believable, Your Highness.”
I couldn’t be there anymore. He’d chosen his path, and he’d chosen wrong.
Before I could leave, Xander said, “Wait.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out something silver. “Will you give this to Roman for me?” When he passed me the cufflink, I had the urge to throw it in his face and tell him to grow the balls to give it to him himself. With a deep breath, I handed it back more diplomatically.
“I refuse to do your dirty work for you.”
It was impossible not to be angry and hurt, but at the same time, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for Xander because he had a point. Roman and I would have lives outside the palace, and Prince Alexander Henry Frederick Edmund Holbrook really was a servant to his crown.
I half-expected Roman to be waiting outside my apartment when I got there, but when he wasn’t, I figured he was still at the palace dealing with his boss.
The empty space of my expensive two-bedroom flat didn’t feel like home. It never had. It was filled with furniture and trimmings chosen by my mother’s designer, and it had none of my personality.
Now it was even lonelier. It was empty and meaningless like the rest of my life was before Xander and Roman.
A few hours ago, I was preparing to become queen of a freaking country. Now what?
A thump came from the front door and then a thud. A voice I didn’t recognise hissed “For fuck’s sake, man. Get up.”
When I threw my door open, Roman fell backwards into the apartment at my feet.
“I think this belongs to you,” Roman’s friend said.
Roman grinned up at me. “Hey, babe.”
My eyes found the other royal guard. “Please tell me you took him out for celebratory drinks because his boss didn’t give a shit we were fucking.”