by L. J. Amodeo
Unable to catch my breath, I sputtered the words, “Please no, don’t let me go,” as my body tumbled helplessly into a black abyss.
I awoke drenched in perspiration, screaming and reaching out to nothing but air. Baffled and panting, I sat up in bed unaware of how I got there. Faith ran to my bedside trying to quiet me down as she’d done many times before. These premonitions or dreams had become a frequent pattern.
“Elizabeth, your nightmares are coming more frequently. Be calm and breathe, child.”
“Faith! I can’t do this anymore. I can’t handle these visions! I’m losing my mind. What do they all mean?” I rambled in a state of hysteria. I rocked myself, trying to calm my body and mind. I remembered being at the cliff’s edge when I thought I saw Michael, unsure if it was another vision or just a dream. And why would I be standing before the Trinity only to have Bricius insult and accuse me of being solely responsible for the forthcoming disaster, and then be whisked away before Michael could say anything to me? Perhaps, it was a premonition. Maybe Michael had a message for me. Deciphering what was real and what evolved as a vision was challenging. My mind spiraled as my eyes slipped shut and my body fell back on the bed.
“Beth. Look at me honey. You are still in your room. With me. Do you understand?” She spoke softly.
I nodded. “Yes. I do. I’ll be ok,” I assured her as I sat up and got out of bed.
“I need a shower and then I’m going into the garden to do some reading. I’d like to be left alone, if that’s all right?” Without another glance at her, I walked into the bathroom closing the door behind me. Shortly after, I heard a door close. I let out a sigh.
After a long hot shower, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a baseball tee. Opening the door to my bedroom, the house radiated in a familiar scent. On the stretch of the long corridor, I listened for Deborah, Victoria or Faith’s footsteps, moving about the rooms. However, this time, the house seemed strangely silent. “Faith? Victoria? Deborah? Anyone home?” No one responded. It was the first time the house seemed empty. For weeks, I’d been under a close watch, but today something was off. “Hello?” I called again, peeking into each bedroom as I walked past it. I inhaled the faint scent of Gardenia hanging teasingly in the air. The light fragrance and the image of Michael’s face, moments before I was pulled away, painted the canvas of my mind, reminding me to head out to the garden.
Before settling on the rock, I pulled some wild weeds that peeked out between the gardenias, inhaling the mixed aromas of the wildflowers and gardenia, its effect was calming.
Once I made myself comfortable on the large rock, I slipped off my shoes and opened to the last page of my reading from the previous night. Intrigued by the characters, I tried to imagine the beauty of the novel’s setting. I laid the book across my lap, fixated on a splendid vision of my own. The lake. Meditating and completely relaxed, my thoughts siphoned me back to my final days at Lake Rushford. It was like meeting Michael all over again. Back to the euphoric feeling that dipped in my belly. Memories of his adorable puppy yelped in my ears.
“Yelp, yelp, yelp.” My eyes sprung open to the sound of a barking dog in the distance. I snapped back to attention, hoping this wasn’t another vision coming on. “Yelp, yelp.” I jumped off the rock this time, looking around the perimeter of my garden. With a blatant stare of disbelief, I felt an excitement ignite in my chest. Feeling paralyzed, I stared at a dog standing on the outer edge of the garden, wagging its tail at me. It barked again.
“Zeus? Zeus!” The dog ran to me. Without hesitation, I picked him up and cradled him in my arms. “Zeus, what are you doing here?” I laughed, as he licked my face eagerly. Without warning, the dog jumped out of my arms and started running towards the lake. “Zeus, wait! Where are you going?” He ran back to me, running in circles, excited to show me something or lead me somewhere. He ran ahead, turned back, and then ran ahead again as if trying to tell me to follow him. “Yelp, yelp yelp, yelp,” he barked continuously. I slipped on my sandals and stepped out of my garden to follow him. My conscience, suddenly stirred, forcing me to realize Zeus was really here. Michael’s dog—was here! This could only mean one thing. Michael had to be here too! A breeze swept around me, carrying with it the aroma of Gardenias. Without wasting another minute, I raced out of the garden following Zeus to the lake. I knew deep down the dog couldn’t have come here on its own. I knew who brought him here.
I ran fast, following Zeus down the path toward the house that led to the lake, fighting the urge to scream out Michael’s name. I ran past the garden house in the direction of the lake. Zeus barked, but no longer ran. He sat, panting breathlessly. “Zeus . . . why did you stop?” I knelt in front of him, wondering why he wasn’t leading me anymore. A fleeting thought crossed my mind. Maybe the dog wasn’t leading me to someone or something. Perhaps he only wanted to play.
I sat on my heels, petting the Yorkie’s head for a bit, wondering how this little canine found his way back to me. Zeus barked again, raising his body on his hind legs off the ground, as if something had alerted him, yet he continued to wag his tail. I scanned the area, finding nothing out of the ordinary. As I stood up, wiping dried mud off my sweatpants, another cool breeze brushed my cheek; this time carrying my name in its wake . . .”E-l-i-z-a-b-e-t-h-”, whispered a voice I knew all too well. Most times I had premonitions, but I knew this wasn’t one of those times. I raised my hand to touch my cheek. It tingled like Michael’s touch.
Without notice, Zeus jolted, running twenty feet ahead of me, directing me once more toward the blue lake. Reluctantly, I followed him to a path that led toward the small dock overlooking the lake. I stepped out from the bushes that obstructed a clear view of the lake, and I scoured the area for Zeus. He was nowhere to be found. “Zeus,” I called. “Here boy!”
The bright sun reflected off the crystal lake like brilliant gems, almost blinding me. Fighting against the sun’s rays, I cupped my hands over my eyes to get a better view of the stretch of land that surrounded the lake. “Zeus!” I hollered, feeling a rush of concern for the Yorkie. With fleeting hope, I wondered if Zeus had appeared to me today as a vision. What if I imagined him? I stood staring, immobilized before the large body of sapphire water.
My heart thumped listlessly as heartache dug its claws into me, leaving me crushed and hoping Zeus was not a mind-game. Everything went silent. Everything but my mind. My thoughts. My heartbeat. Each measured thump, slowly strummed a deafening echo in my ears. Like a whirlwind, Freddie’s smile, Michael’s eyes, Mom’s hands scintillated across my mind, forcing me onto my knees. A sickening emptiness walloped in my stomach, as pools of tears filled my eyes. A void that hurt so bad, it made my thoughts take a horrific turn. What was the point of all this? What was I fighting for? I was done fighting, or at least trying to understand. This was it! The time to make things right. The end.
End . . . My eyes focused on something that caught my attention at the end of the dock. Wiping away my tears for a better look, I lifted myself hesitantly off the grass. A brilliant light illuminated the sky. A blaze so beautiful that its inner radiance pulled me toward it. Each step I took forward, the aura moved closer.
It wasn’t until I reached the dock that I realized what I was drawn to. Struck speechless, our eyes locked. There was no mistaking the eyes that matched the sapphire lake; the eyes that stared back at me. Releasing a small gasp, I took in all his beautiful splendor. Michael’s smile melted my heart a thousand times over. My legs numbed. “Michael!”
He ran to me and lifted my feet off the ground, holding me against him. Neither of us could let go.
“Michael, it’s really you!” I cried in disbelief. I felt his chest, arms and face making sure he wasn’t an illusion.
“I am so sorry I had to let you go this long. I couldn’t return, not until now,” he informed me, kissing my forehead.
“What took you so long to find your way back to me? I’m not imagining you, am I?” I rambled in one breath.
“
You are not imagining me. I’m back, princess.”
“Don’t ever leave me again! Being here alone has been torture! I’d rather die than be stuck in this place without you,” I begged, wrapping my arms around him again.
“You weren’t. There was always someone here protecting you.” He gently put me down and brushed away my tears. “How are you?”
“Everything’s so confusing. I’ve never felt more lost. I keep thinking about my mother—” I paused, wondering if he had crossed paths with her in the afterlife.
He quietly watched me as my thoughts transcended beyond my world. His voice broke my concentration. “Your mother is with you, Elizabeth.”
“She is?” I swallowed back tears.
“Yes. She walks beside you on your afternoon strolls to the lake, holding your hand. She often sits with you in your garden and is very grateful that you created it in her memory.” He smiled, entwining his fingers with mine.
Releasing my hand from his, I looked down at my palms, wondering if I’ve ever felt her touches. After some thought, the emotions poured out as I cupped my hands over my face and sobbed inconsolably. I wanted so much to see her again. I missed her more than words could describe.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “Look, she’s come.” He smiled, glancing deliberately past me into the distance. I searched his eyes, curiously turning to see who he had smiled at. Is she here? My conscience sprung up. Could I, as a mortal, see my mother's ghost? Michael nodded his head toward the woods. I turned but didn’t see anything. Frantically, I searched for any sign of her, any movement. But nothing came into view, except a rush of disappointment. “I don’t see her, Michael! Where is she?” I slipped past him toward the forest.
“Elizabeth, you cannot see her unless . . .” He bit his lip a little reluctantly.
“Unless—?” I spun around waiting for his response.
“When the time is right, you will see her.” His words struck me hard. I was desperate to see my mother again, now.
“When will the time be right? How do I make it right?” A sudden cry of desperation sprung from my throat, worried that I’d never find a way to see my mother. Michael took my hand and raised it to his chest.
“You will know when it’s time. Don’t rush it. Come.” He reached for my hand.
“What do you feel?” Michael asked holding my hand over his heart. He held it against his chest for some time before he released it. For all the times Michael and I had spent together, I always believed his heart beat the same as mine. But I must have only imagined it. The stillness in his chest turned my blood cold, but his love radiated bigger than life itself.
Yet, I still nodded in disbelief. It couldn’t be. I knew for every time I pressed my cheek against his chest, I’d heard his heartbeat. But why not now?
“How could it be? How can one love without a heart?” I asked innocently. Michael stroked my cheek—he didn’t need to respond, for it became obvious his genuine love for me permeated through his touch. He was beautiful and made me feel safe.
“The heart is only an organ. We love with much more than that,” he explained.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, inhaling the scent that started it all. But my thoughts, for some unknown reason, turned to Freddie. Freddie, who said Michael would only come at a time when all believed I was in danger of destruction and elimination. It was obvious why my angel had returned. My expression turned wary.
“Michael, I’m almost eighteen and I know the time has come for me to fulfill the prophecy., Is that why you’ve come back?” I cringed at the thought.
Michael's lips twisted in a painful reminder. He took a step back massaging the curve of his neck.
“Elizabeth—” He paused, thinking of what he needed to say. I waited patiently, yet my body twitched involuntarily.
“I needed to come. As you’ve already experienced, things are beginning to happen to you—to your body that you may not understand. You may not know how to handle what’s about to happen,” he attempted to explain.
“Freddie explained it to me already. It’s a glimpse of what my future holds. He also told me I can change it.” I looked directly at the archangel. Michael’s eyes snapped up, staring warily at me.
“Elizabeth, it’s almost impossible for you to do—as a human, that is.” He informed me, clearly annoyed with Freddie.
My heart suddenly paused, then leapt just as fiercely inside my chest. The last bit of hope I was hanging on to, to change my destiny, immediately disintegrated with one spoken word, impossible. There was no need to pretend anymore. My life was hopeless. Too painful of a reminder for me to question it further, I lowered my head and closed my eyes.
A cold breeze skittered across my neck making shadows and mists move all around me like orbs, each eager to show me what they’ve foreseen. Desperately, I fought to block out their interpretations of the conception, as others taunted me with visions of the barbaric birth. A sudden explosion of light made the ground tremor beneath me, as these reminders of my ill-fated destiny lurched tauntingly in my mind. A voice inside me laughed pushing me to my limits—on a verge of collapsing. Michael watched painfully, as my body twitched.
“Elizabeth! It’s starting . . .” His voice echoed as my thoughts faded. Without warning, my body heaved and convulsed, twisting my arms and back in painful contortions. My language turned eerily guttural, as voices spewed vile words at the archangel. Painfully, writings and symbols appeared on my skin as my body slowly levitated. Voices warned me that the Trinity will do everything in their power, including complete extermination.
“I call upon the powers of the Universe, the almighty power of God, commanding you be gone from the snares of the devil, let her free, I banish thee!” Faintly, in the depths of my mind, I heard Michael petition the angels when instantly, my body hit the ground. Hard.
My eyes snapped open. I ached all over. Michael was kneeling beside me, holding my head on his knees. “Elizabeth,” he whispered to me as I came to. I blinked focusing on his face as he brushed my hair away from my dampened temples.
In a state of frenzy and confusion, I kicked my heels into the ground, pushing myself away from Michael. Panic rose in my chest as Kali’s voice danced in my head.
“What’s happening to me?” I asked heaving.
“It’s what Freddie has warned you of. This is why I’ve come, to help you with these dark premonitions. You’re seeing your future, Elizabeth. These visions are showing you what will happen if Luca succeeds—fulfills his prophecy.”
“If he succeeds? Are you doubting yourself? Isn’t your Legion supposed to protect me from his damn snares? Isn’t that why I’ve wasted all of this time here, in no-man’s land? And why hasn’t Luca been caught and sent back to Hell yet? I am tired of these visions. I don’t want to be the one to carry his baby! And yet, I find myself dreaming of this . . . this child! I have visions of him! But, Michael, he’s not evil. Instead he’s beautiful. His face. Then there are the voices. They won’t let me forget! They remind me of my fate constantly. I’m losing it, Michael! I don’t know how much longer I can keep it together!” I shouted, helplessly clutching my fists to my chest. He caressed my face, but I pushed his hand away. “Don’t!” I growled.
“Elizabeth, I promise you, Luca won’t succeed, but let’s just say for a fleeting moment he did, this infant would be soulless, like his creator.” His hand reached for my elbow, this time I did not pull away.
“I must be truthful with you. Once the child is born, they’ll have no use for you. You will have fulfilled your duty as their chosen one and they will forsake you. Something has been tempting you to see the child in a different light—a good one. They want you to believe that the boy is beautiful and innocent. You mustn’t believe any of it. Do you understand?” His eyes filled with pain as he looked into my eyes.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’ve been wasting away here by myself, and yet nothing has been done to stop Luca! What is the Trinity protecting? Their ow
n interests?” I didn’t want to listen to his reasons anymore. The Trinity sat on their heels while I worried about my own destiny every waking hour till my head felt like it would burst. The faint voices begged me not to listen to his excuses. For that’s all they were. Excuses. I closed my eyes, silencing the chaos in my mind, placing my face between my palms.
“It’s because of his demonic kind that we exist—to protect all mortals from everything like him. We’ve waited centuries for this prophecy to evolve, never imagining that it would. Not now, not with you.” He made a lame attempt to reassure me. I shrugged him away, seeing my premonitions as a bad sign of an unforeseen disaster.
“Let’s just say you can’t protect me? Then what?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“I will not let them win! I will do everything in my power to stop them.” He assured me. Michael’s face turned hard and his eyes pierced through me. Catching himself staring coldly at me, he turned away lost in his own angry thoughts. My eyes slipped shut at the thought of what was coming. My head thumped in sync to my pounding heartbeat. I sighed a long painful breath. Michael, who was overcome and preoccupied over this dilemma, combed his fingers through his hair as he considered what to do next.
“The Blazing Star of Mastema is awaiting the birth of their progeny. They will do everything to find you. The more you believe your premonitions to be true, the stronger you make them, and the darker they will turn your soul. If you give up on faith, you give up on me,” he murmured, consumed in sorrow. Stricken by his words, I made a promise to him and myself.
“I will do whatever you ask me to do. It is I who beg you not to give up on me,” I replied falling to my knees.