by Jake Bible
“Guess I need to make a call,” the Mayor said. “Give me a private channel.”
The tech grinned. “Done.”
Forty-Two
“Who?” Capreze asked.
“The Mayor of Eden,” Jethro said. “He’s on the com. He is also on everyone’s com. All outside communication goes through him.”
“But we can’t be heard, right?” Capreze asked. Jethro hesitated. “Jethro? We can’t be heard on internal channels, right?”
“Yeah…I’m working on that,” Jethro said.
“Jeezus,” Capreze swore and leaned back in his chair, his eyes cast to the ceiling. “Put him through.”
“Hello, Commander!” the Mayor called over the com. “So good to finally meet you voice to voice. I’ve been a big fan for quite some time.”
“Can’t exactly say the same,” Capreze said. “Since I have no fucking idea who the fuck you are.”
“Ah, yes, well, I am sure you knew of me in a previous incarnation,” the Mayor explained. “Used to go by the name of Young back in the Boiler village. Had a falling out with my brother, the Boss, a while back. Kinda dropped off the radar intentionally. ”
“Fuck me,” Capreze said. “I would have guessed you would have been stew by now.”
“Very nearly, good man, very nearly,” the Mayor chuckled.
“Well…?” Capreze asked. “You called me.”
“That I did,” the Mayor said. “I believe we have mutual interests, you and I. A boy that you call the Rookie and who was born by the name of Dog. He’s not going to be coming back to work for you anytime soon.”
Capreze sat upright quickly, his face full of rage. “You hurt that kid and I don’t give two fucks how well you can hide! I’ll track-!”
“Calm down, Commander,” the Mayor soothed. “He’s my kin. No harm will come to him. I just wanted to let you know that if he survives this little dust up that’s about to go down, he will be taking over for me here at Eden.”
“Eden?” Capreze asked. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Holy shit,” Jethro exclaimed. “They just sent us the data on Eden. Hot damn!”
“Apparently Jethro is impressed,” Capreze said as he picked up his tablet and found the file with the specs for Eden. “I see you built yourself a fortress.”
“That I did,” the Mayor said. “Deader proof. Rancher proof. Mech proof. I have all my bases covered. Except for this pesky issue of the Three and their new metal machines. Not sure how they work or how we’d fair against them.”
“I’m in that same boat, Mayor,” Capreze said. “It’s all new to us.”
“Yes, and that is why I am reaching out,” the Mayor said. “I want Dog to take over for me, but he’ll need something to take over. I have three hundred of my people charging like the proverbial cavalry. They’re heading to you. You’ll want them to take on the Three’s forces once they land. You’re going to need that help on that front since you’re about to have your hands full. I am sure you’ve seen that dark mass of death marching to your door?”
“We are aware there is a strange migration of deaders coming this way,” Capreze acknowledged.
“Strange migration? Commander that’s an army and it’s being controlled,” the Mayor laughed. “That Pope has those things battle trained. They aren’t just gonna growl and drool when they come aknockin’. They’re gonna rip your door off and come in and shit on your rug. You can bet on that.”
“So what are you proposing?” Capreze asked. “You help fight them off and I what?”
“You don’t do anything,” the Mayor said. “That’s all I ask. Don’t come for me, don’t try to take Dog back, don’t become the wasteland’s sheriff that it doesn’t need. Just do what you do and let Eden do what it does. The fate of the wasteland itself can be worked out later.”
“And the Pope? I don’t think he’ll be too happy about us making any pacts,” Capreze said. “If he survives.”
“Oh, he’ll survive,” the Mayor replied. “And all his undead minions. We’ll need those.”
“Need them? Why?”
“Take a look at your vid, Commander.”
“Oh, fuck,” Jethro interrupted. “Where the hell did those come from?”
“They were hidden while the shield was up,” the Mayor said. “As soon as it came down they began their march. There are as many of them as the Pope has. Probably more. Hard to see that far.”
Capreze rubbed his forehead and checked the reading.
“I’m going to need you to patch in with Jethro,” Capreze said. “We need all the intel you have and we will need to have access to your full com system.”
“Not a problem, Commander,” the Mayor said. “I expected as much. Just sent the patch to your man Jethro. Hope he can keep up.”
Despite the feeling of foreboding, Capreze smiled at that. “Yeah, he can keep up.”
“Fair warning, though,” the Mayor continued. “I’ll be coordinating with all the other players.”
“All the other players?” Capreze asked.
“The Pope, Colonel Masterson,” the Mayor said. “My goal is to unite the wasteland. We have to stick together if we are going to come out of this in one piece.”
“Masterson I can understand,” Capreze replied. “But the Pope? A Rancher? That scum doesn’t have a place in the wasteland.”
“Tut tut, Commander,” the Mayor scolded. “Let’s keep our bigotry on the back burner for now. We all have our place. I’ll be in touch when I know more.”
The Mayor severed the com, leaving Capreze to work out the new dynamic he found his people in. “Jethro?”
“Yeah?”
“I need confirmation that internal com is secure.”
“It is,” Jethro responded. “I re-routed the security protocols. We can speak freely.”
“What about the pilots? Can I speak to them freely?”
“Long distance is out,” Jethro said. “You speak to them and the whole wasteland hears you.”
“Fuck.”
***
“I don’t give two dicks if you’re the fucking King of England!” Blue Masterson roared into the com. “Trust me, I don’t! So you get your com shit out of my com shit and shut the fuck up!”
The Mayor laughed coolly. “Colonel, please. I have evened the playing field a bit.”
“Like fuck all you have!” Blue shouted. “I need to have secure com with Capreze and with my people as we push forward! You are jeopardizing the lives of thousands!”
“More like just a few hundred,” the Mayor said. “You overestimate the wasteland population. It hasn’t been a good year.”
“And you overestimate my patience for this shit! Knock off whatever the fuck you are doing! I will not warn you again!”
The Mayor was silent for a moment as he thought over Blue’s words. “You aren’t used to being disagreed with, so I’ll let your attitude slide, Colonel. But understand that I will not cave. The com is open for all to hear, even your Three friends. So plan accordingly.”
“Are they listening now?” Blue snarled. “No? Well why the hell not? If you want the wasteland to be open then why not include them in our conversation?”
“Because I think privacy has its place,” the Mayor replied. “Do you really want this talk of ours to be public? I highly doubt that.”
“Fuck you,” Blue growled. “Just fuck you.”
“I advise you put as much distance between your people and the coastline as soon as possible,” the Mayor said. “The Three are about to be up your butt and I do not believe you have the capabilities to fight them off in your present condition.”
“And what condition would that be?” Blue snapped.
“Wounded,” the Mayor answered quickly. “And barely limping along.”
“You don’t know Americans very well, Mayor,” Blue laughed. “Wounded is when we are at our most dangerous.”
“Yes, well, that may be, but you do not have the firepower or manpower that
the Three have. I’ll be speaking to them shortly. I may be able to dissuade them from coming ashore right away. That could buy you some time.”
“I doubt you’ll dissuade them to do shit,” Blue said. “They have a hard on to kill us. That hard on has chased us across two continents and three oceans. It won’t be going soft anytime soon.”
“Colorful,” the Mayor laughed. “I look forward to meeting in person, Colonel. Please stay alive so that meeting can happen.”
“Fuck yourself!” Blue screamed as he cut the com. “Mother fucking crazy ass wasteland fuckers!”
***
“Young!” the Pope said as he heard the Mayor’s voice. “How nice of you to call.”
“JP,” the Mayor acknowledged. “I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.”
“Bad time?” the Pope asked. “When you have Disciples in your heart there are no bad times.”
“So not too busy to have a gentleman’s conversation?”
The Pope looked out at the sea of deaders that surrounded his transport, all marching in lock step as a whistle blew a steady rhythm from a different transport.
“No, no, never too busy for you, Mayor,” the Pope replied. “Just having a nice road trip with some of my closest friends.”
“Yes, about your road trip,” the Mayor began. “You may need to rethink your destination.”
“Oh, dear, Mayor,” the Pope said. “I do not believe that is possible. All the Disciples have their hearts set on seeing the great Capreze team in action. I cannot disappoint these blessed beings. I wish I could accommodate you, but that just isn’t going to happen.”
“So to the Stronghold you keep marching?”
The Pope looked about the wasteland, his eyes scanning the bluffs and hills. “Are you watching me, Mayor? I didn’t think your reach extended out this far.”
“Come now, JP,” the Mayor replied. “Haven’t my recent actions shown that my reach extends to the entire wasteland? I didn’t just take over the entire com. Please know that I have eyes, as well as ears, everywhere.”
“Hmmmm,” the Pope mused. “Have you defiled any of the Disciples?”
“Defiled? Of course not!” the Mayor protested. “I have merely enhanced them. It benefits all.”
The Pope clucked his tongue and frowned. “I wish you hadn’t done that, Young,” he said in a low voice. “That type of exploitation doesn’t sit well with me. I doubt it would sit well with any of the Brothers or Sisters. You have overstepped your bounds, sir.”
“May well be, JP,” the Mayor responded. “But other than the walls of Eden I don’t rightly believe in bounds. But I do understand where you are coming from.” The Mayor thought for a moment. “How about we come to an accord, you and me?”
“If that accord is aimed at stopping my Disciples from taking the Stronghold then you will be sadly disappointed by my answer.”
“And there is nothing I can say to change your mind?”
“Nothing in the least,” the Pope replied.
“Then I wish you pleasant journeys and a safe return,” the Mayor said.
“To you as well, Young,” the Pope said. “Good bye.”
The Pope cut the com and examined the deaders surrounding him. He wondered which ones were corrupted by the Mayor’s spy tech. While it rankled him, and was a blasphemous endeavor on the Mayor’s part, the Pope had to push it from his mind and press on.
Nothing would stop him from attaining the Glory his Disciples so deserved.
***
“I do not fucking care for any of your fucking excuses!” Norton shouted at the control room full of techs. “You get the com secured right fucking now! I will not have the enemy listening to my orders! That’s basic fucking war strategy, you fucking assholes!”
“Sir, it is out of our hands,” a tech said cautiously. “We cannot override the com. We have internal control, but any broadcast that leaves this facility is locked down and controlled.”
“Not acceptable!” Norton roared. “Tear the whole system out and rebuild it! I want this fucking nightmare fixed!”
“Excuse me, sir,” another tech said. “There is an incoming call for you.”
“Well put it on speaker since everyone can hear anyway,” Norton scoffed.
“It’s on a secure line, sir,” the tech informed him. “It’s from someone called the Mayor. He is the one that took control of the com.”
“The Mayor?” Norton snorted. “Are you fucking kidding me? Where do these inbred wasteland fucks come up with these names? Wasn’t there a Boss down there once? And some Bishops and shit? Fucking bunch of mutants.”
“That’s not very neighborly of you, Mr. Norton,” the Mayor said. “I don’t think I’ll be inviting you to the wasteland potluck next time.”
“Who the fuck is this?” Norton snapped. “How the hell did you get access to my system?”
“It rubs you the wrong way, doesn’t it?” the Mayor needled. “A tech genius like yourself having his tech hijacked? Oh, the rage you must feel.”
“You think you can push my buttons, is that it?” Norton growled. “You can’t. You can’t push shit.” Norton dialed in a code on his tablet and grinned wickedly. “In fact, how about I give you a taste of your own medicine?”
Norton’s tablet went blank.
“What the fuck…?”
“I would have warned you, Mr. Norton,” the Mayor said. “But you were so busy being rude that you didn’t give me a chance. Your entire com system has bout fifteen minutes left in its lifespan. You may be able to fix it, you may not.”
“You son of a bitch,” Norton snarled as techs scrambled to repair the system. “You think you can take me on? You’re fucking dead.”
“You are losing precious time, Mr. Norton,” the Mayor replied. “I could reverse the chaos that is about to rain down on you, but I don’t think you’ll cooperate enough for me to be so inclined.”
“I’ll rain hell down on your ass, you motherfucker!” Norton screamed. “You are one dead son of a mother fucking bitch! You hear me? Do you?”
There was nothing but static on the other end. Then every vid screen went black.
“No. No no no no no NO!” Norton shouted as he tossed his tablet across the control room. “Somebody get this system up and running or I will start shooting!”
***
“Are you going to harass the Three now?” Talaria asked, less than pleased. “You’ve poked sticks at everyone else.”
“No,” the Mayor shook his head. “I have no need to speak with them. They won’t listen. I just told Masterson that to light a fire under his ass. They have all of their pieces in play. There’s nothing I can say to pull them back.”
“What was the point of calling Norton?” she asked. “I know why you spoke to the rest, but why even try with the Canadian?”
“Just to get him riled up,” the Mayor smiled. “And because I wanted him to shut his own system down. He’ll get it back up soon, he’s too smart not to, but he’ll be late to the party. It should give Capreze’s mechs a bit more time to engage with the Canadian mechs. Do we have any vid of that?”
“A little,” Talaria reported. “The deader cams are shaky and a ways away, but we can make out the two forces coming together.”
“Two piloted mechs against an army of Canadian mechs?” the Mayor asked aloud. “It should be a blood bath.”
“But you don’t think it will be?”
“For the Canadians, yes. They have no idea what they are going up against. Capreze’s two may not win outright, but they will seriously hurt those mechs from the north.”
Forty-Three
“Jeezus,” Bisby growled. “Look at all the shiny fucks. Almost hate to get them dirty.”
“Looks like we’re outnumbered,” Harlow said.
“Outgunned too,” Bisby replied.
“Their mechs all have two arms,” Harlow smiled. “You’re outarmed.”
“You’d like to think that,” Bisby replied. “But I can do mo
re with one arm than that whole poser army can do with all their arms.”
“That’s what I’ve heard,” Harlow laughed.
“Ha fucking ha,” Bisby said. “Shut the fuck up and let’s squash some of these fuckers!”
***
“-squash some of these fuckers!”
“Fools,” CMP Gail Esther said. She’d ordered com silence just after the com breach was reported. All of her CMPs had coms on mute, but were intently listening to Harlow and Bisby chatter.
To her they sounded like overly cocky idiots stomping to their deaths, but she wondered what the other CMPs thought. She knew they’d heard of the mech pilots’ abilities. Even with inferior tech, she had a feeling the CMPs would not all live through the day.
She double checked her weapons system and made sure all other systems were in the green. With a final stomp she stopped her mech and all the other CMPs followed suit. The wasteland gleamed with BC. As one they brought up their right arms and nearly fifty rotary canons formed and armed.
***
“That was fancy,” Harlow said. “Their toys came right out of their fucking arms. Slick.”
“Doesn’t matter to me if their toys come out their asses,” Bisby replied. “Actually that would be pretty fucking funny. It’d be like giant mech farts every time they fired.”
“We’re facing a few dozen new mechs and you are making fart jokes?”
“What other fucking jokes am I going to make?”
“Hey, guys,” Jethro interrupted. “You do realize they can hear you, right?”
“Yeah, so?” Harlow asked.
“What’s your fucking point, Jethro?” Bisby snapped. “They want to listen to my fart jokes then more power to them. I like the idea of those fucks hearing my voice as the last thing in their ears before they die. That gets the fucking juices flowing!”
“Don’t want to hear about your juices, Biz,” Harlow laughed. “Not now, not ever.”
“How about if I kill more than you I get to tell fart jokes and talk about my juices the entire way back to the Stronghold?”