by J. P. Grider
“I didn’t want you to cower, I just don’t want you…touching her.”
“Well…I didn’t.” I hesitate, but I need to say it. “I do want to touch her. I want to help her.”
Ethan tightens his lips again. “Why? She doesn’t even like you!”
“I know…but maybe it’s just ‘cause she’s sick.”
“She doesn’t like you, because she’s sick? Honor, that’s crazy.”
“I mean…maybe she’s mean because she’s sick.”
“I think she was mean before she got sick,” he remarks.
“Regardless, Eeth…if my pain is any indication, she’s got to feel miserable. Don’t you feel it?”
Ethan closes his eyes for a few long moments. “Yes. I do. But I’m not going to risk ending my life to help her. Nor will I allow you to risk yours.”
Hmm. I hadn’t seen this side of Ethan before. “Excuse me. Allow me?”
“I just mean…I didn’t mean that I won’t allow you, but…what is it with you and these bullies anyway?” he asks.
“Bullies? Plural?”
“Yeah. Storm too. You have this thing for people who are cruel.”
“No, I don’t. Maybe I just see someone else beneath their mean facades.”
The waiter comes with our food, but Ethan pushes his plate away. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Look, Ethan,” I say, trying to salvage our first date. “You’ve had your whole lifetime to learn to block out everyone’s pain. This is all new to me. I’m only figuring all this out. You have to give me time. Please.”
“I get that, Hon, I do. But I just know you’re gonna go and do something stupid…and you’re not going to be able to reverse the effects. Once it’s done, it’s done.”
Stupid? Stupid? Did he just call me stupid? “I am not stupid, Ethan, and you have nerve saying that.”
“No. I didn’t say you were stupid. Oh geez, really, Honor, are we gonna do this tonight?”
I push my plate away. I’m not hungry anymore either. “Take me home. I want to go home.”
“Fine.”
Ethan throws a ten on the table then leaves the cashier with two twenty dollar bills. I turn back to look at Shelby. She’s sneering at me.
Chapter Eighteen
Resolving not to cry over our first real argument, I attempt to close my heart and shut down my mind. The entire ride back is completely silent. Only the sound of angered breathing can be heard – Ethan’s and mine. He’s upset that I won’t give up on Shelby, and I can’t fathom how a boy whose innate abilities are to absorb the sufferings of others can be so cold-hearted. Plus…he called me stupid.
When we reach my house, I open the car door and walk swiftly to get inside. Behind me I hear Ethan’s long stride -- his angry steps pounding the pavement to reach me before I go in.
“Honor. Please. Wait.”
I reach for my key and unlock the front door. His hand falls on top of mine before I pull the key out of the lock. “Leave me alone,” I say to the front door, afraid if I turn around I’ll lose my resolve and the tears will tumble out.
“Honor, please.” He gently lifts my hand off the door and turns me around. “I am so sorry. If I told you it’s my own selfish fear of losing you that makes me so mad, would it make a difference?”
With an unaffected expression and a make-believe hardened heart, I look him in the eyes. “No. It doesn’t make a difference. You can’t just command me to do what you want, nor can you call me stupid and get away with it.”
“Stupid? Oh, babe, you’re blowing this all out of proportion.”
“Oh. I am?” I pull my hand from his grasp. “Leave me alone.” I try again to open the door.
He tries again to turn me around.
“Ethan, I’m serious. Leave me alone.”
His shoulders drop with his resigned sigh. I open the door and close it behind me. When I move to the window and peak outside, he’s still standing there frozen in place. My heart sinks. I don’t want to fight about this, but it aggravates me that he thinks he could tell me what to do. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how they work.
“Honor,” my mom says, turning on the living room light. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I go to the kitchen, get myself a bottle of water, and hole up in my room for the rest of the night.
Seeking solace, I grab my purple fuzzy pillow, hug it to my chest and plop face down on my bed. But only for a few minutes. Music will make me feel much better, so I reach for my iPod. That’s when I see my wicker trunk standing lonely in the corner of my room. During my lonely years of home-schooling, that white woven trunk held all my extra-curricular activities – scrapbooking stuff, my sewing basket, and my yarn and crochet needles. Some extra-curricular activities; I was living in a nursing home, not a teenager’s room. I shuffle to the corner and open the lid. My solitary past comes back to me, leaving a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I take out a few skeins of sapphire silk and my letter J needle then close the trunk.
Holding the soft silk in my hands brings back a comfort I forgot I had gotten used to. Not skipping a beat, I make a slip knot on the hook and chain four single stitches and begin working in rounds, creating what…I have no idea.
Before long, it is four in the morning and I have finished crocheting myself a new scarf and hat – in sapphire blue. Pleased with myself for adding antique jewelry to my scarf and designing my own newsboy cap with some old buttons I had in my dresser drawer, I put it aside to wear to school today. Since it is senseless to go to sleep now, I draw a hot bath and soak in it for a while – wondering how things will play out with Ethan later.
My classes go by quickly enough this morning, but when I enter the cafeteria at lunchtime, Ethan’s not there. Nor do I see Shelby or Storm – the two bones of contention between Eeth and me. I spot Tamlin getting off the lunch line and wave her over.
“Hey, Hon, what’s up?” she asks, sitting down across from me.
“Hey.”
“What’s the matter?”
“We had a fight.” I sigh.
“You and Eeth?”
“Mmm.”
“Oh, honey, what happened?”
Damn. How could I explain this without giving our secret away? “He’s mad at me.” I shrug. “Because I feel sorry for Shelby.”
“Why in God’s name would you feel sorry for her?” Tamlin’s floored. “She treats you like dog poo, Honor!”
Holding up my hand to stop her from repeating what I’d already heard from Ethan, I see her mouth the words, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. But, anyway, that’s why he’s upset with me – he can’t understand why either.”
“Can I ask why you feel sorry for her?” she asks, trying to understand – so unlike Ethan.
“I think…there’s something going on with her.”
“Like what?”
Taking a courage-inducing breath in, I tell Tamlin. She is my best-friend after all. “I…can feel pain,” I whisper. “That’s how I knew you were in trouble and that’s how I know Shelby is sick.”
“Seriously?” Tamlin seems impressed but not surprised.
“Seriously. You don’t think that’s weird?”
“No, not really. Lots of people feel empathy for others.”
“Yeah…,” I say, looking around to make sure no one is within earshot. “But can they heal?”
“What?” Now she raises her brows.
“I can heal,” I whisper. “I healed my mom from her heart attack…just by touching her.” Then I realize, I shouldn’t be boasting. It’s way too freaky a capability to be proud of.
“Really?”
“Please don’t tell a soul, Tam. Please.”
She crosses her heart and hopes to die, then gives me the two-finger scout’s honor.
“Evidently, I’ve always been this way, but I didn’t know it.”
“When did you find out?”
I tell her the
whole sordid story, and she comes around the table and hugs me. “Oh, Hon, I always knew you were special.” She beamed.
“You mean a freak.”
Tamlin cracks up. “Not. At. All. You’re special, Honor. That’s why you’re my bff.”
“Thanks, Tam.”
She gives me a big bear hug, and the bell rings.
In science class, which I usually find boring, we are treated with a nice surprise. Standing in front of the class is the most magnificent man I’ve ever seen. With hair the color of melted butter and eyes that matched the sapphire scarf and hat I spent all night crocheting, this man is stunning. It’s like the Sun god Apollo had just come to life and decided to stand here in Jefferson High’s eighth period chemistry class.
“Hello class,” he calls in a voice so deep and hot he can turn solids into liquids just by the sound of him. He sounds like golden honey pouring over my ear drums. Thick. Smooth. Sweet. And by the blank stares I see on the girls’ faces, I’m not the only female in the class mesmerized by him. “I’m Mr. Moore. I’m your new chem teacher.”
“Where’s Mrs. Bello?” A silly boy asks. Who cares?
“She took an unexpected leave…now you have me.”
When I finally turn my attention away from the hunky teacher, I recall that not only have I not seen Ethan in school today, but Storm hasn’t been around either. Now I’m wondering what’s going on with them, which will keep me from paying attention to anything the rest of the day. Adrift somewhere in my own mind, I lament over my lost home-schooled days. Sure they were lonely, but learning from my mother was much less complicated…and much less dramatic.
After school, pelting through the parking lot is Ethan’s black Mercedes. He zips into a space, gets out, and slams his door. I stay right where I am – next to the school steps. He spots me and runs towards me.
“Honor,” he yells. Not sure whether he is mad or excited, I nod without saying a word. Of course, I’m still upset with him.
When he reaches me, Ethan takes my wrists and sighs. “First, I’m sorry. Really. I wasn’t saying you were stupid. I just didn’t want you to do something you’d regret. Saving someone’s life may seem like the right thing to do, but when you’re playing with your own mortality, well…it’s just something you need to think about.” He pauses, waiting for a reaction from me.
“I get it,” I finally say. “But I don’t like being told what to do.”
“And I get that. I’ll never do that again, but we have a situation here we need to deal with.”
“I forgive you, Ethan.”
His sideways smile appears for a fraction of a second. “Thanks, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Then what?”
“Effin’ Storm.” Ethan drops his hands from my wrists. “He flippin’ took my credit card…and my license.”
“What? Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know.” Eeth shakes his head. “But I checked; he’s nowhere around.”
“How would you know? You weren’t even in school today.”
“Yeah, I was. But I waited for him to show up in the parking lot this morning. He never did. When I went to his house, his car wasn’t there.” Ethan’s pacing slightly.
“How do you know it was him? Maybe you just misplaced them.”
“No, Honor. The credit card people called…they suspected suspicious activity. Two one-way tickets leaving from Newark to Nevada were purchased under my name and yours. I drove to the airport. His car was there.”
“Wait. My name?”
“Yeah, check your wallet. Is your license there?”
My suspicions aroused, I pull my wristlet out of my backpack. “Oh my goodness,” I say when I search through it. “It’s gone.”
“See.”
“Still…why would he do this? What could his intentions be?”
Ethan squeezes the back of his neck. “With Storm, it’s just plain evil intentions.”
I can’t help myself, but a chuckle escapes my mouth.
“You think it’s funny?” Ethan grunts.
“Well, I think it’s comical that you’re so quick to jump to conclusions about him.”
“Damn it, Honor. You don’t get it, do you?” He fumes. “He’s dangerous.”
Stifling my laughter, I try to understand his point of view. “Okay, well, what’s your brother Hunter say about it? Does he think Storm has some evil plan?”
“Let’s go to our rock, Hon. I don’t wanna keep talking here.” He takes my hand and starts leading me to his car.
“Eeth, I have my mom’s car.”
“Leave it here. We’ll get it later.”
“I don’t want to leave it here. I want to take it.”
He stops short and looks at me. “Why?” he asks with a twisted face and puzzled expression.
Only because of what happened at the diner am I doing this, but he just doesn’t get it – I don’t want him expecting me to jump just because he tells me to. “I don’t want to, that’s all. I’d like a cup of tea, and I’d rather go home.”
His eyes get even wider before he frowns. “Well…can I follow you over? I’d still like to talk to you.”
“With me. You’d like to talk with me not to me.”
“I’d still like to talk with you, Honor. Please.”
Hesitating, I say, “Yeah. See you in a few.” Walking away from him, I can feel his eyes on me, but I keep my own eyes straight ahead and don’t look back. It’s merely a matter of principle.
****
The whistling of the kettle sounds at the same time the doorbell rings.
“It’s Ethan, Mom,” I yell to her in the living room.
“Come in, Ethan,” she calls.
“What was that about?” Ethan asks when he sees me.
“You want a cup?” I hold up the kettle.
“No thanks…Honor…what’s up? Why’d you walk away like that?”
Taking my cup with me, I head to my room, knowing Ethan will follow me.
“What the heck,” he asks.
When I put my tea down on my nightstand, Ethan wraps his hand around my arm and turns me. “Honor, talk to me.”
Resorting to relationship games is not my strong suit, and I cave. “I’m sorry, Eeth. I guess I’m still not over what happened at the diner.”
“Man, Honor. I said I was sorry.” He drops to the bed and sits with sulking shoulders.
My heart feels like it has claws tightening around it. He’s sad. “Ethan. I’m so sorry.” Sitting down next to him on the bed, I lay my hand on his leg. “This can’t be easy for you. You just lost your brother; we never even talked about it. Now something big is going on, and I’m only concerned with girly teenage stuff. Really, I am so sorry.”
He wraps his arm around my waist and closes his eyes. “I haven’t even had time to mourn Brad. I’m really worried about this Nevada thing. Hunter told me there’s someone sinister involved. There may be a connection to Brad’s murder. Plus…he may be after…” Ethan stops abruptly.
“After who?”
“Never mind. We just have to be careful. Be on our guard.”
“No, Ethan. Who? They’re after you and me, aren’t they?”
“Please, Honor, it’s nothing.”
“Storm told me…”
“Storm told you what? What did he tell you?” Ethan jumps in, in one breath, not allowing me to finish my sentence – though he would have gotten the answer he was searching for, had he let me continue my sentence.
“As I was about to say…” I can’t help myself, I have to add that in. “Storm told me he knew the guy…or guys…who were after us – us, empaths.”
Ethan breathes a sigh of relief, though I do not know why. “Oh…yeah…but…Storm said he knew the guy? So he is involved.”
“I don’t think so. It didn’t sound that way to me. He actually seemed worried about it.”
“Yeah, right. He’s probably just worried about his own ass.” Ethan can’t help himself ei
ther, I guess.
“Whatever, whoever, it is, we need to figure it out. If someone’s out there killing people, we can’t have him coming to Jefferson. We can’t let him, Ethan.”
“I know, babe. I just wish…wait, I do know who it is.” Ethan confesses. “I don’t know him personally, but I know of him…if it is him.” Ethan starts mumbling, but I think he says, “Boy, I just wish I knew what Storm had to do with this.”
“Ethan, why are you so hard-pressed to believe Storm is involved?”
“You like him don’t you?” Ethan shoots back, pulling away from me and standing up.
Not again. “Of course not. I just don’t think he is as bad as you believe he is.”
“Did you forget about Summer?” Ethan is clearly annoyed with me and probably not going to drop this jealousy thing anytime soon.
“No, I didn’t forget her, but I think Storm feels…I don’t know, but I don’t think he meant it.”
“Did he tell you that?” Ethan snaps.
“No, he didn’t, but I felt it.” I cringe, knowing Ethan wouldn’t like that, but it’s the truth.
“He stole our stuff, Honor. Or do you feel that he didn’t?”
“That was uncalled for, and no, I have no clue, but if he did steal our id, then why?”
“That’s what I wanna know.” Ethan sighs. “Listen, Honor, I’m sorry I’m so touchy when it comes to Storm.” He takes my hands and pulls me off the bed. Catching my eyes in the process, there are now two pairs of violet eyes searching deep inside each other – to maybe catch a glimpse of each other’s souls? “I trust your feelings,” he resigns. “An empath’s feelings are strong, and as far as I know, extremely accurate. For some reason, I get nothing when I’m around Storm, but I’ll take your word for it and…” Ethan pauses, probably trying to swallow the words caught in his throat. Admitting a lifelong nemesis may not be the evil being he always assumed is never an easy task. “I’ll try to give Storm the benefit of the doubt.”
“It’s just my intuition. You may be right about him. I don’t know,” I admit.
“Mmm.” I watch as Ethan shakes his head at my fickleness.
It makes me chuckle. With Ethan already holding my hands, I pull him quickly toward me and kiss him smack on the lips.