by Susan Renee
“You like him,” Jenna claims.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Shut up. You like him.”
“He hasn’t called me yet,” I argue.
“A-ha! See? You’re keeping track, which means you like him.” Jenna pushes off from my desk and skips to the door. “I need to get some more work done. I just needed to confirm that you like him and that last night didn’t end in disaster. There’s hope for you yet Linda!”
“I hate you.” I tell her as she leaves the room.
“I love you too, Babe. I’ll put some batteries behind the counter for you to pick up on your way out!” she shouts over her shoulder.
“I hate you even more now!” I laugh loudly.
Chapter 4
Jack
“Come on, Sampson. It’s cold out here.” I tug on Sampson’s leash a little bit in hopes that it will hurry him along. Old dogs are stubborn, though, and there are enough pets that do their business around here that Sampson feels the urge to smell out every single spot and mark it with his own piss signature.
How do they always have more in there?
Finally, we turn back to the apartment building, hustling back against the unrelenting wind. We make it inside and head up the stairs to my floor where we come face to face with my neighbor, Gabby, stepping out of her apartment. “Hey, Jack,” she says, her eyes giving me a once-over. “How was your date last night?”
“I never said it was a date,” I tell her. “Just met a friend for drinks.”
“Uh huh.” She winks.
“What would make you think I was on a date?”
Gabby shrugs. “Because you didn’t come home until after midnight, and you were on cloud nine. I saw you through the window.”
“Oh.” I don’t want to tell her she was right, but I also have the urge to ask her a question. She’s the only other female I sort of know. She has to be good for something. “Yeah, you got me. It was actually a first date.”
“See? I told you!” She beams. “That’s great! Did it go well?”
“Yeah.” My smile is a dead giveaway. I need to work on my control. “Yeah, it went really well. Uh…actually, can I ask you a question?”
“Fire away, Jack.”
“She gave me her number, but didn’t ask for mine. That’s normal, right?”
Gabby smirks. “Ah, she’s put the ball in your court I see. Yeah, that’s normal. She wants you to call her or she wouldn’t have given you her number. You should totally give her a call.”
“Right. Okay. Sooo…when?”
“When what?” Gabby asks, scrunching her eyebrows.
“When should I call her? I mean, is today too soon? Should I wait a few days? Should I have called her already?”
“Ooooh…you’re new to this dating thing, huh?” Gabby smiles.
“Well…” I shrug, trying to be nonchalant…and failing. “I just don’t want to mess this up. She was a really nice girl and I would very much like to see her again.”
“She’s a lucky girl, Jack.” Gabby gives me the once-over again. “No, it’s not too late. Calling her sometime today would be a great idea.”
“What if…”
“What if what?” she asks.
“What if…I knew where she worked and knew I could stop by and say hello. Is that too creepy?”
I mean Jacoby did it and it worked out okay.
“No, it’s not creepy at all…unless you’re sneaking around trying to make sure she doesn’t notice you. That’s creepy.” She laughs. “Take some flowers or something. Sweep her off her feet. She’ll like it, I promise.”
“Hmm…maybe I’ll do that.” Sampson grunts at my feet. “I should get him inside. Thanks, Gabby. Thanks for the advice.”
“Anytime Jack. You know where I live. I’ll see you around.” She smiles and then turns to go down the steps and out of the building.
Since I haven’t gotten in touch with Linda yet today, I decide that maybe stopping by The Hole Punch might be nice. Hopefully she won’t think it’s too unoriginal of me to show up there since meeting girls at The Hole Punch is Jacoby’s M.O.. Maybe if I bring flowers it’ll give me bonus points. Girls like flowers, right?
***
I must look like a complete weirdo walking into an office supply store on a Sunday evening with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. It’s okay though. I can’t wait to see her smile. I enter the store carrying my large bouquet of yellow, red, and white lilies with whatever the long flowers are that are accompanying them.
“Can I help you?” asks an older lady standing at the check-out counter, smiling as if these flowers are for her. I almost feel guilty that I’m going to disappoint her.
“Jack?” Jenna walks down the aisle right in front of me, her mouth hanging open in surprise.
“Jenna!” I smile giving her as much of a hug as I can give her holding this huge vase of flowers. “How are you?”
She chuckles, looking at the flowers I have. “I’m great. And I’m pretty sure those aren’t for me.”
“Uhhh…no. But after last night, I’m pretty sure you know why I’m here,” I say bashfully. I had no idea when I met Linda that she was Jenna’s best friend. And since I never spoke about my online conversations with Jacoby, I never put two and two together.
“I sure as hell DO know why you’re here. Those are stunning, Jack! Come on, let’s go put them in the office and we’ll surprise Linda. She’s always pulling pranky shit on me. This will be great.” She hustles off to the office on the other side of the store. I follow quickly behind, noticing the eyes of customers and associates that follow me and my huge vase of flowers.
“Linda’s finishing up counting a few drawers. It’s almost time to close. You made it just in time. Sooo…tell me!” She gives me a small slug on the arm as I set the flowers down on the desk in front of me. “You just went out with my best friend and I didn’t even get to be part of putting you guys together! How did it go?”
“She’s great.” I shake my head. “She’s a breath of fresh air. She’s spunky. She’s un-filtered. She’s natural. She’s not afraid to be herself. I love all those things. We had a lot of fun last night. Well…I guess I should say I had a lot of fun last night. We haven’t really talked yet since she had to work.”
“Oh, trust me,” Jenna says reassuringly. “She had a great time too.” She giddily claps her hands. “Eeek!! I’m so excited for you guys! She needs a good guy like you.”
“You think so? She really had fun?” I can’t believe I’m feeling so insecure all of a sudden.
“Oh yeah. I know she did. I’ll call her in here. Wait till she sees these flowers! Wow!” She picks up the phone on the desk.
“Hey. I need you in the office when you’re done in there, okay?” I watch as Jenna rolls her eyes and smiles, winking at me. “No, it’s not about Mr. Seymore. Just stop in here when you’re done. Yeah, okay.” She puts the phone down and laughs. “She’ll be in in a minute.”
“Hey, Congratulations on your fashion show! I talked to Jacoby a little this morning and he told me what was up. I guess really, congratulations to both of you are in order, huh?”
Jenna beams. “Yeah! Thank you! It was an awesome day with a perfect ending. There will definitely be a lot of excitement in the coming months. Lots to do and lots to think about.”
“Well, with Jacoby by your side, you can’t go wrong.” I take a huge breath trying to relieve the anxiety that’s ripping through me. Not the tiny bit of anxiety I have about my best friend possibly moving away, but that feeling in my stomach that says I’m about to lay eyes on the girl of my dreams once again. What if she doesn’t want to see me here? What if when she said she hates roses, she meant she hates all flowers? Maybe I shouldn’t have gone so big.
“Relax,” Jenna says, watching me. “She’s going to flip. Guys don’t ever pay her this kind of attention. It’s refreshing.”
I lean against the inside wall of the office as we wait, contemplating why guys aren’
t throwing themselves at Linda’s feet. She’s a gorgeous woman with a strong, compassionate head on her shoulders. Any guy would be lucky to have her. I just don’t quite understand why Jenna says guys don’t pay this kind of attention to her. They had to have been assholes, all of them.
“Oh, my God, Jizz!” Linda says before entering the room. She must be in the hallway. “It smells like old people in here. I’m pretty sure I’m allergic. It’s gross.” From across the room I see Jenna’s eyes grow huge as she tries to shake her head “no” when Linda walks in the room, but it’s too late. Linda turns around and gasps in surprise, staring at me.
“Linda…” Jenna quickly tries to step in. “Jack brought you these beautiful flowers and stopped by to say hello. Aren’t they gorgeous?”
She doesn’t like them.
“It’s okay.” I say to Jenna, waving my hand. “I knew they were too much, I’m sorry Lin…”
“NO!” Linda shouts, covering her mouth with her hand and then giggling in reaction to herself. “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to shout. What I meant to say was, ‘Yes, they’re beautiful!’ What are you doing here?”
I tilt my head ready to call her bluff. “You said they smell like old people.”
“Um, they’re lilies. Lilies smell like funeral homes which, in turn, means old people. Trust me I’m not wrong, but that doesn’t mean they’re ugly.”
I narrow my eyes at Linda’s explanation. “So, you’re saying in my attempt to bring you something pretty to put a smile on your face, I’ve instead successfully made you think of old dead people in funeral homes?”
“Is this you, going all lawyer-y on me?” she asks with a flirtatious smile.
“It’s Sunday. I don’t lawyer on Sundays.” I wink.
“Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.” Linda turns toward Jenna. “Jizz, this is,”
“Jack Schmidt,” Jenna says, shaking her head. “Yeah, we’ve met. More than once, actually.”
“Right…yeah. Okay.” Linda nods, turning back to me. “Jack, the flowers really are beautiful. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to keep them,” I assure her.
“Shut up. Of course, I’m keeping them.” She beams. “I can’t even remember the last time someone brought me flowers. I’m not even positive it’s ever happened, so who the hell cares what they smell like. I’m really sorry I said all that shit about old people. You probably think I’m a pissy bitch…” She’s rambling...it’s cute. “But then again, I warned you of that a long time ago and you persisted anyway sooo…”
“So now you’re saying it’s my fault if I don’t like that the flowers make you think of old dead people.” I tell her, understanding full well where she’s headed.
“Yes. Exactly.” She points to me. “Glad you get my logic.”
“Well I only chose them because you told me you didn’t like roses.”
Jenna gasps. “What the fuck, Linda! You love ro…”
“Ahhh-dah-dah-da-dah.” Linda covers my mouth with her hand. “You’re right, Jack. I did say that. I’m impressed that you remembered.” She nods her head toward the bouquet on the desk. “So why is there a single red rose in the middle of those lilies?”
“Because I was trying to be funny,” I admit. “Clearly the overwhelming dead people smell ruined my attempt at humor.” I step over to the desk and pull the long stemmed red rose from the bouquet holding it out for Linda to take.
“Linda,” I smirk. “Will you accept this rose…and go out with me again?”
“Awwmm!” Jenna sighs with her mouth still covered. Her big round puppy-dog eyes are watching Linda and me.
Linda tries to hold back a smile but fails miserably. She reaches out and takes the rose, sniffs it and says to me, “Okay. I guess the stupid shows aren’t that bad. Yes, Jack. I would love to go out with you again. I accept this rose…but only because it’s the best smelling flower of the bunch.”
I throw my head back in laughter. “That’s enough for me. I just needed you to say yes.”
God, I want to kiss her.
I want to wrap my arms around her like I did last night and kiss her senseless.
But she’s working. That would be unprofessional.
Jenna removes Linda’s hand from her mouth. “Why don’t you two get out of here? It’s already six and I can close the store.”
“Yeah?” I ask her a little too excitedly. “Are you sure? I mean…” I stop myself. “I mean, only if Linda wants to.”
“I’ve closed a thousand times for this bitch,” Linda says. “She owes me, and I’m hungry. What did you have in mind?”
“Uhh…” I try to come up with an idea quickly since I honestly didn’t expect her to say yes. “Pizza and a beer? Marvel conspiracy theories?”
Linda turns to Jenna, who mirrors Linda’s larger than life smile. “Congratulations, Jack,” Jenna says. “You just spoke Linda’s language. Now get out of here. Have a fun night, guys.”
“Thanks, Jizz,” Linda says, grabbing her coat from the hook on the wall and her purse from the desk. “I’ll text you later.”
“Later.” Jenna waves as we step out of the office.
“Do you mind if I stop at my place quickly so I can change? I would rather not be in work clothes all night,” she explains.
“Not at all. Linda?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you call her Jizz?” I ask.
Chapter 5
Linda
I read a quote somewhere that says, ‘Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.’ After a few weeks of getting to know Jack online, followed by several great dates, I’m starting to think that quote could be true. Sometimes I lay in bed and wonder if fate is real and if it took me all these years, several bad booty calls, and an app on my phone to finally meet someone I consider to be a catch. And how the hell did I get lucky enough for him to choose me? My time with Jack has been one enjoyable moment after another. Walks through the park, movies, making out like teenagers, talks on the phone until neither of us can stay awake. I can’t remember feeling this alive in a long time.
“So, what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” I ask Jack. We’re on our way to Jacoby’s place to hang out with him and Jenna for the evening. I’m guessing that means a night of beer, and Euchre or Poker. Either way, we’ll be in great company.
“Well, usually my family does a big thing for Thanksgiving, but this year my parents are in Europe for the month so I guess it’ll just be me and Sampson.”
“Bull shit,” I tell him. “You’re not going to do Thanksgiving by yourself. I don’t have any plans, so why don’t we do something together?”
Jack ponders my words for a moment and then looks over to me in excitement. “I’ve never been to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.”
“WHAT?!” I shout at his insinuation. “Are you crazy? You really want to go to New York City on what is probably their busiest or second busiest day of the year?”
Jack shrugs, smirking. He squeezes my hand through his glove and says, “Yeah. Why not? It could be a fun adventure for us. I’m sure I could get us a nice hotel room. If the weather sucks, we’ll stay in and watch it on TV, but if it’s nice, why not? In fact, maybe we could stay for a few days and see the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree lighting. I’ve never done that either.”
“Oooh I haven’t seen that in person either! Damn you, Jack. You’re teasing me with Christmas. I love Christmas.”
A hotel for a few days.
Alone with Jack.
“So, is that a yes?”
“Are you really serious?” I stress.
“Of course, I’m serious.” He laughs. “Why wouldn’t I be? We can take a carriage ride through Central Park, do some shopping downtown, visit the Met.”
“You had me at shopping.” I squeal. “I’m totally in. Wait, what about Sampson?”
Jack shakes his head, unworried. “I have a couple people that could watch after
him for me for a few days.”
“Oh, my gosh! We’re going to New York City for Thanksgiving? This is going to be incredible! I can’t wait to tell Jizz!” I beam. “And now, thanks to you, I should be a kick-ass poker player tonight!”
“Why? What did I do??” Jack inquires.
“Nothing! But now I’m so giddy excited that Jacoby won’t know if I’m bluffing or I’m just happy!”
“HA!” Jack exclaims. “Then let’s go kick some ass!”
***
“I’ll bet…” I grab a handful of colored chips and push them to the middle of the table. “This much.”
“You know,” Jacoby smirks. “If we were really playing for money you just bet over three hundred and twenty dollars.”
I meet Jacoby’s eye from across the table and shrug playfully. “Does that scare you?” Jack and Jenna both chuckle, watching our banter.
“Not at all, Darlin’,” Jacoby answers as he pushes a bigger pile than mine to the middle of the table. “I’ll see your three hundred and twenty-five and raise you…that many,” he says, mocking me as he drops an extra pile of colored chips in the middle of the table. “That’s an extra one hundred and fifty dollars by the way.”
“Uh huh. Okay.” I smile and study my cards with narrowed eyes as if I don’t already know that I’m holding the winning hand.
“Well I fold,” Jack says. “That’s way too rich for me.”
“Me too.” Jenna lays her cards down on the table. “You guys have at it.”
“So, let’s see it then, Mr. Jacked-Up-Rich-Guy,” I tease, winking at Jacoby. He lays his cards down in front of him, showing an impressive hand.
“Straight flush, sweetheart. Let’s see you beat that.” He sits back and takes a chug from his beer bottle, so proud of himself for beating the little lady.
“Well, I’m not sure if it’s anything really, but I have all these cards here that are in order and oh…would you look at that…they’re the same suit too, so, I don’t know, Mr. Jacked-Up, but I’m pretty sure I just royally flushed you.” I wink again.