by Gerri Hill
They stared at each other, finally breaking down into laughter.
“I’m sorry. I haven’t seen you in… in fifteen years and I’m fussing at you.”
“It’s okay. I deserve it.”
“No, you don’t. It wasn’t like you ran away or anything. I’m sorry, Jackie.” Kay again wrapped her arms around Jacqueline, pulling her into another hug. “It’s just such a shock to see you. Couldn’t call first, huh?”
“I wasn’t certain I would even look you up. But Rose and your mother insisted.”
Kay’s eyes widened. “You’ve seen them?”
“Stopped by the café for coffee. In fact, your mother invited me for dinner tonight.”
Kay laughed. “She would. She always loved you. Did she tell you she told your mother off?”
Jacqueline’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re kidding. When?”
“When we found out she’d sent you away. Mama drove right over to your parents’ house, rang the bell and let her have it, right there on the front step.”
“All this time, I imagined everyone hating me, glad I was out of their lives. I didn’t think anyone would care,” Jacqueline admitted.
“Oh, Jackie, you’re not serious? We loved you, no matter what. Yo u shouldn’t have been alone.” Kay paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought you would hate me.”
“Hate you? I loved you.”
Jacqueline shrugged. “I was a kid. I hardly knew what was going on myself, Kay. I certainly didn’t think you would understand. And I was scared to tell you.”
Kay sighed. “You’re probably right. I freaked out when I heard. I was angry with you for not telling me, but I was confused, too. And…”
“And all those times we slept together,” Jacqueline supplied.
Kay blushed. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
“Don’t be sorry. I don’t blame you for thinking that.”
The phone rang, and Kay grabbed Jacqueline’s arm. “Don’t you dare go away.” She hurried to the counter, picking up the phone in a smooth motion. “Kay’s Hallmark.” A smile. “Yes, she’s here now.”
Jacqueline grinned, then turned away to give Kay privacy. And herself. This wasn’t anything like she’d imagined their reunion being. She expected anger, yes, but she was surprised that they’d picked up their bickering as if they’d not been apart for fifteen years. Oh, they could get into some arguments in the old days. But through it all, they were the best of friends. Until they got older, until Jacqueline started feeling things. God, it was all she could do to be around Kay then. And when they started dating boys, when Kay would go out alone with Billy Ray Renfro, it was all Jacqueline could do to not follow them to make sure that Kay was all right. Her eyes widened, wondering if Billy Ray was the one Kay had married. God, she hoped not. Billy Ray was a loser.
“Well, I’m officially invited to dinner. Mama is so excited you’re back. She’s got a cookout planned. I hope you’re ready for that.”
“That’ll be great. It’ll be good to see everyone again. Rose’s got four kids, huh?”
“Oh yeah. And I spoil them rotten.”
“Yeah? What about you? Any little Kays running around?”
Kay shook her head. “No kids.”
“I’d have thought you’d have a house full by now. Why not?” Kay shrugged. “Just didn’t happen.”
Jacqueline nodded. Wrong subject. Well, perhaps later she’d ask more. “I should let you get back to work. And I should check in with Mary. She’s probably wondering what trouble I’ve gotten into.”
“Mary? You brought… you brought someone with you?”
Jacqueline laughed. “No. Mary Lawrence. I’m staying with them.”
“Oh. I see. I guess staying at your folk’s place is out of the question, huh?”
“I haven’t seen my mother yet. She doesn’t know I’m here.”
Kay lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I completely forgot the reason you’re here.”
“It’s okay. It’s not like I… I feel anything, you know. He was my father, but I lost my family a long time ago. Any grieving I did is well in the past.”
Kay nodded sadly. “I understand.”
CHAPTER SIX
“I knew if anyone welcomed you with open arms, it would be the Garlands,” Mary said. “I’m glad you’re going to see them. Such kind people.”
“Yes, they are. They were my second family.”
“Have you… have you thought about seeing your mother?” Mary asked hesitantly.
“Yes, actually. I thought I’d go today, but the time kinda got away from me. Maybe I should wait until after the funeral tomorrow.”
“I’m sure word has already spread around town that you’re here. In fact, I’m surprised I’ve not had a phone call yet.”
“From her?”
“Yes. Despite everything, your mother is still a very powerful woman in this town. With your father gone, everyone assumes that your mother is in control of the mill now. Your father was a very fair man but your mother… well, she’s perceived as a…”
“Bitch?”
“I wasn’t going to use such a strong word, but—”
“I lived with her for nearly eighteen years, Mary. I know all about her.”
“Well, I just think people are going to want to stay on her good side, is all. So, letting her know that you are back in town, to warn her, perhaps, I’d not be surprised if she’s had several visitors already.”
“So you’re suggesting I go see her today?”
“We were always friends with your parents on a social level. That’s all. If I had any advice to give you, it would be to not see her at all. She’s a very vindictive woman. I can only imagine the words you’ll exchange with each other.”
Jacqueline laughed. “I’m thirty-three years old. I can handle myself. She’s my mother in name only. I don’t feel anything for her except maybe some long-harbored hatred. There’s nothing she could say to me that could possibly hurt me any more than she did fifteen years ago.”
“Don’t underestimate her.”
“Mary, I’m not scared of her. She has nothing I want.”
“Okay. But if you intend to enjoy yourself this evening at the Garlands, I would recommend you not visit your mother today.”
Jacqueline smiled at the other woman. “I agree. So, after the funeral tomorrow, I’ll stop by. How’s that?”
“I think that’s a good idea. Can you imagine how she must be feeling? Missing out on this opportunity to be the center of attention? I’m sure it’s killing her, being stuck in the hospital. No one can see her pain.”
“Physical pain? Or emotional?”
“Physical. But she would put on a good show at the funeral, I’m sure.”
“What are you saying?”
“Oh, I shouldn’t gossip, Jacqueline. It’s not common knowledge, but your parents’ marriage ended long ago. When they moved out here, they both had separate wings in the house. They haven’t had a real marriage in years.”
“Not common knowledge? Come on, in this town?”
“Well, rumors, sure. It’s not like the housekeepers don’t all gossip. But still, it’s just gossip.”
Jacqueline shook her head. So much energy wasted on such bullshit. She was glad she’d left when she did.
“Enough of that. Go get ready. I’m sure you’re looking forward to tonight. You and Kay were always such good friends. I bet you have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Yeah. Yeah, we do.” Jacqueline paused, then asked the question that had been on her mind all day. “What about her husband? When we talked, I didn’t think to ask.”
“Oh, Kay’s been divorced years now. She married that Billy Ray Renfro about a year or so after high school, I think. But, well, it wasn’t good.”
“What do you mean?”
Mary lowered her head. “I hate to gossip about these things, Jacqueline. But, well, everyone could see what was happening.”
“He beat her?” Jacqueline guessed.
Mary nodded. “It was bad. At the end, he put her in the hospital.”
“Dear God,” Jacqueline whispered.
“Did some jail time, then left town. Got into some trouble in Houston, last we heard.”
Jacqueline felt her heart clutch painfully. The bastard. Kay was the kindest, gentlest person she knew. Who in the world could possibly hit her?
“Please, it’s something she’s put in the past. Don’t tell her I said anything.”
“Of course.”
But later, as Jacqueline drove to the Garland’s house, she was still wondering how she was going to act when she saw Kay. Her hands gripped the steering wheel hard, remembering the night she’d seen Kay and Billy Ray kissing under the bleachers. She should have known then. He had her pushed up hard against the railing, holding her there. But Jacqueline had been too consumed with jealousy to notice. All she could see was them kissing, touching. But it was Billy Ray’s hands that were touching. Kay’s hands had been at his shoulders, as if pushing him away.
“Goddamn! I should have done something, said something.”
But no, they were just kids. Kids exploring their sexuality. And in a jealous rage, she couldn’t have just gone up and pulled him off her. She shook her head. Tw o days ago, she was in California, not giving a thought to Pine Springs, Kay or her past. Now, here she was, wondering why she hadn’t stepped in fifteen years ago when her best friend was sharing a passionate kiss with her boyfriend.
“Let it go. It’s none of your business,” she murmured.
She was going to have a nice dinner with very old friends, catch up on the past and then go home. In a few days, she’d be back to her life, and Pine Springs would go on as it always had. There was nothing she could do to change things.
She found the Garland’s home without problems, and it looked exactly as she remembered, including the assortment of cars parked in the driveway. Ralph Garland was a mechanic, and there always seemed to be three or four cars around the house that he was fixing up. With six kids, no doubt he’d done that to give them all something to drive. Maybe that was just an excuse then or perhaps he was working on his grandchildren now.
The azalea bed in the front of the house was bursting with blooms, and Jacqueline paused to admire them. She never understood how Mrs. Garland could work all day at the café and still have time to tend to her yard. That was one thing Jacqueline remembered. No matter the time of year, something was always blooming.
From the shadows of the corner of the house, Kay stood, watching Jackie as she surveyed the yard. She still couldn’t believe she was here. She had long ago given up hope of seeing her again. But here she was, as familiar to her as she’d ever been. Fifteen years hadn’t changed her that much. Jackie was still taller than she was, but not by much. Her blond hair seemed darker now, her eyes bluer. And she looked every inch the tomboy Kay remembered and not the successful writer Kay knew her to be. She watched as Jackie brushed the bangs at her forehead, smiling as Jackie hesitated before going into the backyard.
Jacqueline listened to the voices, then followed the well-worn path that led to the backyard and the patio. The barbecue pit was already smoking, and kids were running around, dodging the lit citronella candles. Lawn chairs were placed in the grass and on the patio, and she stood, taking it all in. She’d missed this. This closeness of family, friends. Laughter rang out, and she recognized Sammy, Kay’s kid brother, who was now well over six feet tall. He’d still been a little squirt when she’d left.
“Scared?”
She jumped, startled. Kay stood behind her, holding a covered dish in her hand.
“Just looking.” Jacqueline tilted her head. “What you got there?”
“Potato salad.”
“Ah.”
“Mama intends to treat you to a back home meal, I’m afraid. She said you probably hadn’t had a decent barbecue since you left.”
Jacqueline fell into step beside Kay. “She’s right about that.”
“Jackie, there you are. Come, come. Sammy’s been beside himself waiting to see you.”
“He always had such a crush on you,” Kay whispered.
Jacqueline blushed as she stood face to face with the now grown version of the kid she remembered.
“Jesus Christ, Sammy, you’ve grown three feet.”
It was his turn to blush.
“Hi Jackie.”
Then she walked closer, wrapping her arms around him for a tight hug. “Good to see you again.”
“Yeah, you look great.” Then he blushed again. “Here, meet my wife.” He pulled an extremely shy young woman to his side. “This is Tess.”
Jacqueline politely shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Thank you,” came the quiet response.
“Don’t mind her, Jackie,” Rose said as she walked over and put her arm around Jacqueline. “She’s heard all the horror stories about you. She’s probably scared to death.”
“Rose!”
“Oh, Mama, I’m just kidding.” Rose turned to Jacqueline. “Tess doesn’t talk much,” she whispered.
“Well, with this crowd, who could blame her.”
Rose laughed. “Look at Sammy. Can you believe how he shot up?”
“No, I hardly recognized him. What about Eric and the others?”
“Eric works offshore. He’s here a month, then gone a month. And Bobby, you remember Bobby? He’s over in Austin, coaching football at one of the high schools there.”
“I remember Bobby, of course. He was a pain in the ass, even at ten years old.”
“Still is. Becky is the only one of us girls to leave town. She married a boy she met in college, and they live in Oklahoma City.” Rose tugged Jacqueline’s arm. “Come on over here,” Rose said, leading Jacqueline to her father and who she assumed was Greg, her husband.
“You remember Pop.”
“Mr. Garland, how are you?”
“Great, Jackie, great. So good to see you again.”
“And this is Greg, my husband.”
Jacqueline shook his hand. He looked nothing like the young boy she remembered. He’d grown into a handsome man, his neatly trimmed mustache lifting on one corner as he smiled. “Nice to see you again, Greg.”
“Jackie, you too.”
“Four of the little monsters running around here are my kids, but I’ll introduce you later,” Rose said. “Grab something to drink.” She pointed to the pitchers of iced tea sitting on the picnic table. “I’m going to see if Mama needs help.”
Jacqueline dipped a plastic cup into the ice, then filled her glass, looking around for Kay. “Want one?”
“Please.”
Jacqueline handed Kay a glass, then took her first sip of sweet tea, her eyes slamming closed at the memories that taste recalled.
“Good?”
Jacqueline smiled. “Very.” She glanced over at Rose. “I see Rose hasn’t changed a bit. She’s still as bossy as ever.”
“Yes. She should have been the oldest girl in the family, not me. She’s always just taken charge of things.”
“As I recall, she tried her best to take charge of us back then. Our saving grace was that she couldn’t climb that damn tree.”
Kay laughed, pointing at the very tree. “Still here.”
Jacqueline met her eyes. “I have a lot of fond memories of that tree,” she said quietly.
“Me, too. Remember that time you took a six-pack of beer from your parents’ fridge?” Kay asked. “We hauled it up the tree with us and spent the afternoon attempting to drink it.”
Jacqueline nodded. “I thought your dad was going to kill us both.”
“Well, at least we saved him one.”
They were quiet, both remembering other times that some mischief Jacqueline concocted had gotten them into trouble. Mostly from Kay’s parents, though. They hadn’t spent a whole lot of time at Jacqueline’s house.
“So, what have you been doing for the last fifte
en years, Kay?”
Kay shifted uncomfortably, her eyes not quite meeting Jackie’s. When they were young, they could talk about anything, share thoughts, feelings. But fifteen years had passed. She wouldn’t just blurt out her life’s failures, hoping they could pick up where they left off. So, she lied.
“Nothing much exciting. I’ve had the store now six years. It keeps me busy.”
Jacqueline nodded. “And?”
“And what?”
“That’s it? That’s all I get? What about after high school? Did you go off to college?”
Kay shook her head. “No. I… I worked in the café for awhile. And then… well, I got married.”
“Yeah? Who was the lucky guy?”
Kay met her eyes, then looked away. “I really don’t want to talk about this now, Jackie. Okay?”
“Hey, sure. I’m sorry. Just trying to catch up.”
“What about you?” Kay asked, changing the subject. “I’ve read your books, by the way. You’re very talented. I don’t remember you ever writing when we were in school.”
Jacqueline blushed slightly. In fact, she’d always written, she just never shared her stories with anyone, afraid they would laugh at her.
“I secretly dabbled in it,” Jacqueline admitted. “When I started college, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I took some writing classes, and it just fell into place. I was very lucky.”
“And your love life?” Kay surprised herself with the question. It was something she’d thought about often, in the beginning, when she’d first found out.
Jacqueline smiled. “You want to talk about my love life? What? I’m the only lesbian you know?”
“Actually… yeah.”
“No closeted spinster women hanging around town?” Jacqueline teased.
“Well, you know, Ms. Cutter never married. Does that count?”
“She’s still here? Damn, she must be in her eighties by now.”
“She was only in her forties when we were in school. In fact, she’s still teaching.”
“And lived alone all these years?”
“Well, she does go out of town on weekends quite often.”
“There you go. She’s probably sneaking off to some deviant affair she’s been having. Some other spinster woman in another town, maybe.”