by Gerri Hill
“Y e s ,” Kay whispered.
Jacqueline moaned at just the thought of kissing Kay. Without another word, she leaned toward her, aware of Kay’s ragged breathing, of the pulse pounding rapidly in Kay’s throat. Her eyes slid closed as she—
“Aunt Kay?”
They pulled apart guiltily, both breathing as if they’d run a race. Kay closed her eyes for a moment as her hand rested against her chest.
Oh my God.
Before Kay could speak, Lee Ann was crawling in bed between them, oblivious to what she’d interrupted.
“Movie’s over, and Denny fell asleep.”
“He did?” Kay finally looked up, daring to meet Jackie’s eyes. The desire she’d seen earlier was nearly gone, replaced with apprehension. And perhaps regret.
Jacqueline stood up and collected her shoes. “I’m actually kinda tired myself. I think I’ll call it a night.”
Kay nodded, afraid to speak. She couldn’t very well beg Jackie to stay up until the kids were asleep, beg her to finish the kiss they’d barely started.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Jacqueline showered before venturing into the kitchen. She’d heard them earlier, heard the kids’ laughter, heard Kay’s teasing voice. She slept in later than normal, but she was afraid to be alone with Kay. With the kids there as a buffer, there would be no time for talking, for… kissing.
She leaned against the counter to steady herself, finally daring to meet her own eyes in the mirror. She had purposefully avoided thinking about what happened last night, what almost happened. She still couldn’t believe she had been so close to kissing Kay after all these years. And the whispered word Kay had breathed was still fresh in her mind.
Yes.
But what did it mean? Was Kay suddenly curious? Or was she giving voice to suppressed feelings after all this time?
Whatever the answer, Jacqueline wasn’t sure she could handle it.
Kay looked up when Jackie walked into the kitchen, heading straight to the coffee without so much as a glance. This she was expecting. Jackie was no doubt embarrassed over what had almost happened. And Kay was too. After all, she’d started it, she’d wanted to talk, and then she’d practically begged Jackie to kiss her.
But in the light of day, she wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe she’d simply imagined the look in Jackie’s eyes. Maybe the attraction she had for Jackie—still had for her after all these years—had absolutely nothing to do with sex. Maybe it was just that, an attraction. An extension of their friendship. Maybe Kay was reading too much into it.
“Are you okay this morning?” Jacqueline asked quietly, hesitantly.
Kay met her eyes, drowning in the blue depths like she’d done hundreds of times before. Only now, she accepted what she saw in Jackie’s eyes, she accepted what she felt for Jackie. And it had everything to do with their friendship, yet it had nothing whatsoever to do with friendship.
“I’m okay. You?”
Jacqueline glanced at the kids who were busy eating pancakes, then looked back at Kay. “Last night… Kay, I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Kay nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry too. If Lee Ann had only waited five more minutes, then I’d already know what it’s like to kiss you.”
Jacqueline’s eyebrows shot up.
“You want pancakes?”
“What? Kay?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re making me crazy,” Jacqueline whispered.
“Good. It’s about time. Now, do you want any pancakes?”
Jacqueline shook her head. “No. I don’t think I can eat,” she murmured. She took her coffee cup, intending to go back to her room—and think. But a tiny hand touched her arm.
“Aren’t you going to eat? Aunt Kay made pancakes just for you.”
“For me? She did?” Jacqueline looked up at Kay, seeing the slight blush on the other woman’s face.
“She said you used to eat ten at a time.”
“Ah, but that was when your grandma was cooking. I’m scared to eat Aunt Kay’s cooking.” She was rewarded with a wet dishcloth to the face.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“Rose said she’d feed us leftover burgers, but I have a sneaky suspicion that she invited Josh, too.”
“Mommy says Josh is cute,” Lee Ann said.
“Josh is also young,” Kay said, sparing a glance at Jackie in the rearview mirror.
“But he is cute,” Jacqueline teased.
“Hush.”
“Aunt Kay, is Josh going to be your boyfriend?”
“No, Lee Ann, he’s not.”
“But Mommy says ya’ll are going to have a date.”
“Is that what Mommy says?” Kay asked through clenched teeth. “I think I need to have a talk with your mommy.”
“What time did they get back?” Jacqueline asked.
“She called at two.”
“They weren’t gone long.”
“No. They usually don’t get back until six most weekends. I’m sure Greg was anxious to return.”
“Yeah. I just hope he doesn’t—” She stopped, aware of Lee Ann listening to their conversation. She met Kay’s eyes in the mirror, seeing her nod slightly.
When they pulled into the driveway, Kay let out a heavy sigh. “As I suspected.”
“What?”
She motioned to the street with a quick toss of her head. “Eric’s truck.”
“Ahh. So, another round with Josh,” Jacqueline said as she got out, helping Denny with his backpack. She stopped when warm fingers wrapped around her forearm.
“I have zero interest in Josh,” Kay said quietly as their eyes locked together. “And you know it.”
Jacqueline nodded, the look in Kay’s eyes frightening her a little. Jacqueline realized that whatever was going to happen between them, she wasn’t in control any longer. Kay was in control. And the look in her eyes told Jacqueline that Kay knew she was in control. Jacqueline was simply at her mercy. The thought made her weak.
They found them in the backyard, enjoying the last of the sunshine. Spring rains were forecast for tomorrow.
“Hey guys,” Rose called, then she bent over, pulling Lee Ann into a hug. “How’s my big girl?”
“Guess what we had?”
“What?”
“Pancakes!”
“Pancakes? Aunt Kay cooked?” Rose asked, surprised.
“Look, I can open up a box with the best of them.”
Rose turned to Jackie. “Did you eat?” she asked quietly.
“She forced me,” she said with just a hint of a smile.
“You both are so funny.” Kay slugged Jackie in the arm. “And see if I ever cook for you again!”
Jacqueline rubbed her arm. “They were good. Maybe not as fluffy as your mother’s, but they were still good.”
Rose leaned closer to them, her voice low. “Don’t let Josh know you can’t cook. Cooking is very important to men.”
“Rose, listen to me. You can play matchmaker all you want, but I am not attracted to Josh. In the least. So quit pushing it.”
“How can you not be attracted to him?”
Kay raised her hands in exasperation. “I’m just not Rose. So drop it.”
Rose looked at Jackie. “Can you talk some sense into her? He’s practically an Adonis, for pity’s sake!”
Jacqueline shrugged. “If she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t like him.”
Kay laughed, linking arms with Jackie. “Thank you, Miss Keys. I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Rose stared at them. “You’re acting strange.”
Kay released Jackie, smiling as she noticed the slight blush on Jackie’s face. Damn, Jackie could still be so vulnerable. And try as she may, Jackie couldn’t hide her feelings from Kay any longer. Kay could read through every disguise, and right now, she knew if she should touch Jackie, she would feel her tremble. And why, oh why, couldn’t she have seen that fifteen years ago? So much time wasted.
“I’m not acting strange, Rose.�
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Rose put her hands on her hips. “Give me one good reason why you don’t like Josh.”
Kay glanced quickly at Jackie, seeing the slight twitch of her lips. Well, let’s see, Rose. He’s a man, for one thing. And he’s not Jackie, for another. She closed her eyes. Perhaps too much for Rose to handle. So, she went to something safer.
“He’s twenty-seven.”
“So?”
“I’m almost thirty-four.”
“And?”
Kay shrugged. “He drinks too much.”
“What?”
Kay motioned with her head. “Have you ever seen him without a beer in his hand?”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Do you ever see Eric without a beer?”
Kay nodded. “Exactly my point. Eric drinks too much.”
“Kay, you can’t judge everyone by Billy Ray. He was practically a drunk.”
“He was a drunk, Rose.”
“And what does that have to do with Josh?”
“Girls,” Jacqueline said, stepping between them. “Now is probably not the right time or place for this discussion.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right,” Rose said. “I just wish you’d keep an open mind, Kay.”
“I will, but Rosie, please quit worrying about me.”
Jacqueline cleared her throat. “Here comes… your date.”
“There you are! Rose said you guys were coming over.” Josh looked them over. “You’re Jackie, right?”
Jacqueline smiled, glancing quickly at Kay. “Yes. And you’re… Justin?”
“Josh,” he corrected, then linked arms with Kay. “Come on over. I’ll get you a beer.”
Rose elbowed Jackie. “Justin?”
Jacqueline shrugged. “Just messing with the kid,” she said as she watched Kay walk away from her.
Kay hated to be rude, but if Josh didn’t take his hands off of her soon, she was likely to slug him.
“I was thinking, maybe one day this week, we could go out to dinner,” Josh suggested. “Eric says the Mexican food place in town is pretty good.”
Kay took a step back, causing Josh’s arm to slide away from her back. “Yes, very good food. However, I’m not having dinner with you.”
“Why not?”
“Josh, you seem like a nice guy. Really.” Kay smiled gently. “But I’m just not interested.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not interested in you. In dating you,” she clarified. She didn’t want to be a total bitch.
“But Rose said—”
“You’ll find that Rose says a lot of things.” She quickly scanned the backyard, finding Jackie sitting alone in a lawn chair. She shook her head, wondering why Rose had left Jackie by herself. “Excuse me.”
She didn’t wait for Josh to comment. She walked purposefully toward Jackie, smiling when Jackie looked up.
“What are you doing?”
Jacqueline shrugged. “Sitting. Watching.”
Kay squatted down beside Jackie’s chair, shyly resting a hand on Jackie’s thigh. She felt the other woman tense, felt the tremor that traveled through Jackie’s body. She found it amazing that her touch had such power. And she found it amazing that Jackie’s eyes could possibly turn bluer than they already were.
“Kay—” Jacqueline whispered, covering Kay’s hand with her own, pressing it tightly against her thigh. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“No, I don’t suppose I do,” Kay murmured. She was aware of the warmth under her fingers, and she spread them, grasping Jackie’s thigh. Such a simple touch, yet it caused her heart to race, caused her breath to catch.
“Can’t leave you alone for a minute.”
Kay jerked her hand away guiltily as Rose walked over. She stood, aware that her legs were shaking. “You talking to me or Jackie?”
“Both of you. I swear! There’s a handsome man dying for your attention over there, and what do you do? Migrate back to Jackie. Jeez. Some things never change.”
Kay and Jackie exchanged smiles. “We have fifteen years of catching up to do, Rose. Why can’t you understand that?”
“Because there’s a cute guy over there, that’s why.” Rose took her hand. “And it’s not like he fell out of the ugly tree, Kay. Have you seen his biceps?”
“Rose, I love you, but you’re getting on my nerves,” Kay said.
“I’m sorry, Kay, but I just have a feeling about Josh. I think he might be the one.”
“The one?”
“Yeah, the one.”
“Rose, trust me, he’s not the one.”
Rose shook her finger at her sister. “Your problem, Kay, is that you’re too picky!”
“And your problem, Rose, is that you’re in my damn business!”
“Girls,” Jacqueline warned. “Play nice.”
“Jackie, she’s just so damn stubborn,” Rose said loudly.
“If you like him so much, you go out with him!” Kay countered.
They both turned as Greg cleared his throat behind them. “You might want to yell just a little bit louder. I’m not certain they heard you two doors down.”
Kay covered her cheeks with both hands. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. Her eyes slid to Jackie, and there was nothing there but understanding.
“I’m sorry too,” Rose said. “I’m pushing, I know.” She grasped Kay’s arm. “I just want you to have someone, Kay. I hate that you’re alone.”
“Rose, you’ve got to understand, I’m fine. You’re the only one worried about me being single.”
“I’m not the only one, Kay. I’m just the only one voicing my opinion.”
Jacqueline finally stood. “Rose, give her a break, will you?”
“Easy for you to say, Jackie. You’re here, then gone again. You don’t have to see her alone, day after day.”
“Rose, you’re out of line,” Kay said quietly. She looked at Greg. “Please?”
“Come on, Rose. Let’s get the burgers out.”
“I’m sorry, sis. I just—”
“I know, Rose. It’s okay.” Kay let out a weary sigh when they walked away. “I know she means well, but she just wears me out sometimes.”
“Has she always been this adamant about you dating?”
“No, not really. She’s suggested blind dates before, she’s just never gone through with them.”
“I think she’s…” Jacqueline stopped. “Never mind.”
Kay wrapped warm fingers around Jackie’s hand. “She’s what?”
Jacqueline locked glances with Kay. “I think she’s worried about… me.”
“Worried about you?” Kay moved closer. “Worried about me with you?” she asked quietly.
Jacqueline looked away. “Yes.”
Kay smiled. “That may be true, but that’s not why she’s pushing Josh.”
Jacqueline looked back at Kay. “If I wasn’t here, would you want to go out with Josh?”
“You mean, if you hadn’t come back into my life?”
Jacqueline nodded.
“Honestly, no. I wouldn’t want to go out with him. There’s no interest there, Jackie. There’s never been for anyone. But you,” she added quietly.
Jacqueline nodded. She didn’t know what to say.
“Does that make you feel better?”
Jacqueline tilted her head. “I’m not sure. But then, I’m not sure of a lot of things right now.”
Kay smiled gently. “That makes two of us.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
They drove home in complete silence. Jacqueline pretended to watch the sunset. Kay pretended to watch the road.
They left Rose’s early, certainly earlier than anyone else. But Kay found her eyes searching out Jackie’s, and all she really wanted was to be alone with her. To talk, maybe. Or maybe not. She felt a nervousness settle over her, unlike anything she could equate it to. If anything came of this, this thing between them, she would have to be the one to bring it out. Jackie never would. Just like Jackie
couldn’t bring herself to tell Kay way back when that she had feelings for her, feelings that went beyond friendship.
As she slowed, waiting for the garage door to open, Kay felt the tension build in the car and knew that Jackie felt it as well. She wondered if Jackie was afraid, knowing that they were alone, knowing that no one was here to interrupt. She thought it funny that they’d not discussed the kiss they’d almost shared last night. Funny, but not unexpected. Jackie would never bring it up.
They both got out, slamming the doors in unison. Jacqueline waited politely for Kay to walk into the kitchen, her eyes landing everywhere—anywhere—to avoid eye contact with her.
Jacqueline walked into the living room, intending to escape into the spare bedroom. She would close the door, she would boot up her laptop, she would check e-mail, work—anything to avoid thinking about the other woman in the house.
“Jackie?”
Jacqueline paused in the hall, the shadows hiding the fear on her face. She didn’t turn around. “Yes?” She felt Kay move close behind her.
“We’re not seventeen anymore.”
Jacqueline swallowed hard, finally turning. “I know,” she whispered.
Kay took another step closer. “Jackie, did you ever… did you ever fantasize about me?”
Jacqueline met Kay’s eyes in the shadows, but she couldn’t speak.
“Did you fantasize about… kissing me?”
Jacqueline closed her eyes, her heart pounding so loudly, she could hear it echoing in the hallway.
“Did you?” Kay asked in a whisper.
“Yes,” Jacqueline breathed. She felt Kay’s hand touch her stomach, felt it travel higher.
“Did you fantasize about touching me?”
Jacqueline felt Kay’s thumb move between her breasts and she barely managed to swallow back her moan.
“Jackie, did you?”
“Ye s .”
Kay moved closer still, their thighs brushing. Kay’s hand trembled as she moved it higher, between Jackie’s breasts, then higher. She lightly rubbed her thumb over the pulse pounding so in Jackie’s neck.