“You’ll make the perfect mother, Amber,” he told her as he stroked her hair as she laid on the couch curled up into him. She enjoyed the warmth of his firm body as her head rested on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and steady. Oh, heavens.
Amber and Jules, like old times, watched a rerun episode of Dancing with the Stars. She didn’t know when but she dozed off for a moment then re-awakened, still in his arms feeling loved. Cared for.
The fact that she could call Jules any time of the night and he didn’t mind spoke volumes about the type of chemistry they had. Amber was aware when you found someone who connected to you so well, you didn’t take it for granted, you cherished it and nurtured it.
Did Jules want to take another chance on her? She noticed he was trying to get close to her but he wasn’t as flirtatious as he’d been in the past but that was probably because of her pregnancy. Most men were cautious around a woman who was expecting. Some women had sexy hormones rushing through their bodies, while others wanted nothing more to do with sex, until after the baby was born.
Hot damn! Jules looked so good in his half open shirt, his sexy stubble on his chin and those muscular arms of his. Right now, Amber could think of nothing else but to have Jules make love to her—for their first time. She wondered what that would be like. Her heart raced like mad in her chest as she visualized his strong, soft hands caressing her body as he made sweet, passionate love to her.
Stop it, Amber. It’s not gonna happen, remember? Men are no longer part of your emotional budget. It’s just too costly to enter into a relationship again.
Still, Amber couldn’t help gravitating towards Jules. And judging by his physique and the sweet memory of his incredible kiss when they had dated in the past, she was filled with all kinds of delicious images of what it would be like to make love to him. That was assuming if he would ever make love to her. The man was hot though. Even though it could never lead to anything more than physical. If it ever happened.
Jules was probably just there beside her for pity’s sake. She prayed that was not the case. Still, Amber wanted to savor the moment because life was about precious moments and this one with Jules was one she would deposit to her treasure trove of precious memories to never be forgotten.
She wished things had been so different between them. She loved her unborn baby, however, it had always been her dream to have a baby in wedlock. Her father, who died in that horrible crash, had not been her biological father and for some time before her parents’ deaths, she was often called a bastard at the school by those who knew her parents and were aware of the truth. She didn’t want her child to have to go through that. Not that it should matter these days. But oh, how painful it would be to not be married when she delivered her child into the world. Her heart sank at the feeling that it may never happen the way she planned. Yes, Amber wished everything had turned out differently. But the last thing she wanted to do was to spoil everything that Jules restarted between them.
Besides, she could not really cope with any sort of intimacy right now.
Jules and Amber fell asleep but before long Jules woke up. She felt the soft touch of his lips on her forehead as she nestled on his chest. Her heart fluttered. She felt a tingling sensation between her thighs for the first time since she got pregnant. She couldn’t help but smile widely. She tilted her head up to his and looked into his beautiful dark eyes.
Jules stroked her chin gently as he gazed into her eyes. “You are so beautiful, you know that?”
Amber smiled.
She reached up to his lips and pressed hers to his and oh, the magic exploded between them. What was she doing?
No kissing, Amber. Don’t get caught up in that emotional trap again.
Hungrily Jules kissed her, a raw lust clawing its way from his core. His tongue slid in between her parted lips and sent shivers of delight racing through her body. It had been too long since she’d experienced the touch of a man. And oh, she missed Jules’s amazing passion. She trembled with desire and want as he softly stroked her skin. Her body pulsed uncontrollably.
Jules repositioned himself on the couch and got her into a comfortable position then lowered his head to her arm where her scars were displayed. He gently kissed her wounds, a heightened sensation that made her nerves tingle rushed through her body as he lovingly kissed the blemishes as if they were beauty marks. Jules made her feel so special. Her nipples became erect and strained under the fabric of her top.
“Oh, Jules!” Amber groaned in ecstasy, savoring the pleasure of being loved, treasured.
“You’re so beautiful, Amber. I’ve always loved you,” he said, his voice hoarse. He kissed the tip of her nose to the bottom of her earlobe and she felt dizzy with excitement. The touch of his soft lips was a delicious sensation through her body. He didn’t just kiss her, he caressed her with his sweet lips. Oh, those magical lips of his. His lips were warm and tender on hers.
Amber could feel the hardness straining in his pants and delight rocked her body. Oh, she wanted him. She craved him so badly. Her hormones were racing all over the place. Her body was aroused for him. And his for hers. Perfect!
She reached down and stroked his erection through his pants enjoying the feel of his powerful hardness while he groaned with pleasure. He lowered his head to her breasts and kissed the mound of sensuous flesh.
Then just like that, Jules pulled away, leaving her breathless, her body throbbing out of control. Stunned, she gaped at him. “Jules,” she said, breathing heavy. “Why did you stop? Don’t stop. I want you, Jules. I need you!”
Jules got up. “I’m sorry, Amber, I…you really need your sleep,” he said, extending his hand to her to help her up.
She was still panting. Amber could see that he, too, was still aroused. She lovingly rubbed her belly and accepted his assistance. She knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him, but she was pregnant and he was obviously nervous about being with her—in her condition. Even if it was deemed safe for pregnant women to be intimate. But it was for the best. She didn’t know what she’d been thinking. No more relationships, Amber. They don’t last, remember?
Amber reached over and snaked her arms around Jules and he held her so firmly, so passionately and they went to bed, sleeping beside each other, holding each other, hugging each other and left it at that. Friends. Nothing more. Taking chances could prove too risky right now. So why did Amber feel like hell?
CHAPTER SIX
A month later, Amber sat in the waiting room of her therapist’s office flipping through magazines.
Since she had that dreadful nightmare and Jules ended up coming over in the middle of the night, Jules had stayed with her at the dwelling after she asked him to keep her company. She didn’t know why but she really didn’t want to be alone and he didn’t want her to be alone. He was so kind to follow her to her prenatal visits during the past month since they’d gotten reacquainted. She couldn’t express her appreciation enough.
Dr. Danye had been so supportive of Amber after her traumatic experience since the accident. She was dying to speak with him. She had to tell him not just about her progress regarding her coping strategies but also about having Jules back in her life. Amber was still having occasional nightmares of that horrible accident that scarred her body for life and scarred her emotionally so that had to be addressed first.
Amber told her therapist about her rekindled relationship with Jules and how he made her feel these days. She felt completely torn and wasn’t ready to accept everything that was happening to her emotionally. Jules knew what Amber looked like underneath her garments, the horrible secret she had hidden from him for fear of rejection and yet he cared about her anyway. He went out of his way to make her feel special. Loved. Appreciated. She, in turn, truly appreciated his kindness. But she’d been through emotional hell with her ex that it was hard to trust again.
At one time she would have been ecstatic over Jules’s devotion to her, but now Amber was finding she was a bit afraid of it in
addition to finding his obvious love for her—and while she’s pregnant with someone else’s child!—completely tempting and seductive. How crazy was that?
Jules did everything and anything wonderful for her, from giving her the most amazing soothing, gentle back rubs and relaxing soft massages to getting her desired foods and other odd cravings in the middle of the night when he could have sent someone else or advised her where to go.
Then there was the dinner at Romero Manor with Jules’s family a couple weeks ago.
Amber was anxious at first about sitting down to dinner with the entire Romero clan but it was a godsend. A contrast from her emotionally-distant aunt. The Romeros were so giving and kind and loving. She enjoyed the warm family spirit and missed that with her own family after the tragedy. For the first time she’d had a sense of longing in every fiber of her being. Wishing they were her family. Wishing that her child would be a part of that loving bond. Wishing that Jules and she would end up…together forever. Yeah, right. Only in a perfect world!
The Romeros, Amber noticed, did a lot of things for themselves and often moved with regular folks as well as fellow wealthy people. Outside of their expensive mansions and impressive properties, luxury vehicles and prestigious businesses, they were actually like normal people. She could so relate to them on many levels. And Jules was no exception.
What had she done to deserve his wonderful attention? Amber was wrong about Jules in the past. She was both thrilled and terrified to be able to have a second chance with him though she wasn’t quite sure what their relationship was currently. They were just friends, weren’t they? Though deep inside Amber wished they were a couple again. A real couple. Over the past few weeks, Jules was so attentive to her—taking time away from his business to help her. Yet, she always felt that it might not even last because she had been traumatized while growing up into thinking she could never be worthy of being with someone as amazing as Jules.
Her doubts were always getting the best of her. And whenever there was a moment she felt good about herself or her relationships, that doubt would rear its ugly head in her mind and she would promptly back away psychologically.
“Dr. Danye will see you now, Amber,” the receptionist came back out into the waiting room to inform Amber.
“Thank you.” Amber dropped the magazine back on the table. The general waiting served a few offices in that area and had a few people sitting and waiting to see a professional. She never thought too much of it at the time but today she was acutely aware of being watched. A man with silver-streaked dark hair wearing a long dark trench coat and dark sunglasses apparently was gazing right in her direction. A grim expression pasted on his face. He slowly turned his head away but for some reason, Amber felt a sense of uneasiness creep over her. She rubbed her baby bump protectively and walked cautiously into the doctor’s office.
Don’t get paranoid, Amber. Nobody is watching you. No one is following you. It’s all in your mind. Hence, the reason she was still seeing a therapist so many years after the death of her family members. She hoped she was not having one of those paranoid panic attacks.
Through much counselling and focus on the present moment and psychotherapy, Amber was able to ease her distress. But her selective amnesia hadn’t changed surrounding that fatal night. “Maybe you don’t want to remember, Amber,” Dr. Danye once told her. He told her that sometimes the brain worked to protect a person from unpleasant memories in order to function. Especially if it was something horrific to remember that the victim could not change. Some had dubbed the phenomena “conscious memory loss.”
She wouldn’t know what she would have done if Dr. Danye wasn’t a part of her life. He had rescued her many times.
“Good to see you again, Amber,” Dr. Danye said as he walked slowly into his office, limping slightly. From the time she’d known him, he always walked with that odd gait. Something from his childhood. That was one of the reasons she felt so connected to Dr. Danye; he could relate to being scarred from an early age.
Dr. Danye closed the door behind him.
“How’s the baby?” He studied her with a warm smile.
“Great. She passed her obstetrician visit with flying colors. The baby is doing fine and is on schedule,” Amber beamed.
“Good. Glad to hear it. And how are you doing today?” He sat down at his desk. His back faced the door, which Amber found interesting. She’d always been told it was good to have an escape plan if you’re ever in a dangerous situation. She’d heard about some patients getting aggressive and lashing out at the doctor and the poor medical professional trapped in his own office without the ability to flee.
Oh, why had that awful thought crossed her mind? Sometimes she had way too much thought traffic traversing her mind. Think positive, Amber. Think only good thoughts.
“Getting better and better every day,” she chanted with an empowering smile. She was not going let negative thoughts or energy consume her and muddy up her perception of life. In the past she fought hard to overcome negative emotions and bitterness, especially over the unfairness of her family’s tragic deaths and the criminals responsible getting away with the murders. Dr. Danye told her that dwelling on that day for the rest of her life would not bring them back, it would only rob her of a future and that to honor their memory it was better that she moved forward because it’s what her parents would have wanted. He was probably right.
She’d also read somewhere about the power of positive words to heal. She read one doctor had famously told a patient to repeat the words “every day in every way I’m getting better and better.” She wasn’t sure how much it would actually help but it couldn’t hurt. It truly lifted her mood when she chanted the phrase.
“Good. That’s good to hear. Now, tell me what’s on your mind,” he invited, and he shuffled some notes on his desk.
“Well, I’m still having those dreams.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. They had stopped for a while but then a few weeks ago, it was just terrible. I woke up in a sweat.”
“Why didn’t you call my office? You know we’re on call. If I’m not here, my answering service will pick up.”
“It was late at night. It wasn’t like I was having a crisis. It’s not like in the past. But it seemed so real.”
“Was there anything different in this dream?”
“No. Dr. Danye, why can’t I remember? I know we’ve been through this a lot but…I just can’t remember anything.”
“Maybe there isn’t anything to remember, Amber. You said you had blacked out.”
“I did. But…I wish there was something I could remember in order to help the case.”
“Help the case?”
“Yes. Oh, I forgot to mention. I just learned the police have reopened the investigation. I think a witness may have come forth after watching some cold case program on TV.”
“Oh? And how does that make you feel?”
That’s what she loved about Dr. Danye. He always asked how she felt. Of course he was paid hundreds of dollars an hour to ask but he genuinely cared.
“I don’t know.” Amber’s voice cracked ever so slightly. She turned her head to gaze out the window. The trees swayed and their green leaves rustled in the wind. It was a calming view of the hills outside. She loved living in Mayberry Hill and was glad Dr. Danye moved his office there from the bustle of the city with the noisy traffic and pollution. But she wasn’t feeling very calm right now. She could feel her blood pressure soar. Her body pumped on adrenaline. Amber rubbed her belly and had to remember to think positive thoughts for the sake of her little one. She didn’t want her baby to feel any of mommy’s distress. In fact, just this week, Jules lovingly chastised her for saying a not-so-nice word when she accidentally dropped a plate on the floor smashing it to pieces. “Not around the baby,” he said playing daddy. She smiled at the recollection.
Amber drew in a deep breath. “I don’t really want to talk about that right now, Dr. Danye. I…I can’t. I don’
t know how I feel about the case reopening. I don’t know what leads they might or might not have and my aunt even told me, it won’t bring back my mom and dad anyway.”
“But don’t you want justice to be served? It could bring you closure.” He looked at her with concern from across the desk. Amber always thought before seeing a therapist that one had to lie on a couch and confess all her business to a man sitting with a clipboard on the side. But that image was nothing from reality that she was experiencing. She felt more like an interview. A business meeting with the therapist behind the large oak desk and she seated in a plush executive chair.
“Yes, of course, I want justice to be served but I also don’t know what it could do to me to face the past again.”
“Understood. It’s not easy to face that type of horrible reality, Amber. I’m here for you. Just remember that.”
She felt warmth creep over her but then she thought about the man in the waiting room. “There’s a guy in the waiting area. He’s wearing a long black trench coat and sunglasses and his hair is streaked with silver. He’s a patient of yours?”
Dr. Danye looked puzzled. He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Why?”
“Well,” Amber said, getting up. She went over to the door and opened it and peered out in the reception area in the distance. There were three people earlier but now there were two. An older woman and a young man. Trench coat guy was gone.
Amber’s heartbeat escalated in her chest.
“What is it, Amber? Are you all right?” Dr. Danye said behind her. He’d gotten up to see what she was looking at.
Amber walked back into the office. She didn’t know why she had done that. “I’m sorry,” she said, drawing in a deep breath. “I guess I’m getting a bit paranoid again. I thought…there was a guy…oh, nothing.”
She decided to let it go. Maybe he was waiting for someone. The waiting area served more than one specialist.
“He could have gone to see someone else here,” Dr. Danye suggested, his tone soothing. “Are you sure you’re okay, Amber?”
The Billionaire's Baby (The Romero Brothers, Book 5) Page 6