Protocol One

by Jacqueline Druga

  Tom appeared at the other end, standing in the door. “You can bring everyone down now. Tony, you know where to take them.”

  “I do.”He handed me my phone and led the way.

  “When is the last time you were here?” I asked.

  “About two months ago. This one was my favorite, my baby. Although the one in Germany is sweet. One level but it’s all veins and spider webs. An underground city. We never finished the west wing. We always said that could be a project for survivors to pass the time.” He propped up the fail safe door and we headed up the stairs.

  “It feels very safe here.”

  “It is. It feels removed.”

  We talked less walking up, it was quite a journey. About two thirds of the way there, I told Tony he should have put in an elevator.

  To which he replied, “Yeah, tell me about it.”

  There was a positive feeling that stirred within me. Knowing we were safe and sound. Knowing we would be sheltered from most of what was going to happen.

  Yes, we had been though a lot to get there, but we arrived and with that arrival came life.

  We were going to live through it.

  That was such a positive thing, I couldn’t help but feel better. Much more upbeat, we reached the top, caught our breath and Tony opened the door.

  The concrete bay, just inside the entrance was no longer dim and lit by a single lantern. It was brightened by old fashioned, caged in bulb lights on the wall.

  As we emerged, everyone was gathered near the door. Huddled in a group, their backs were to us.

  Everyone.

  There were no voices or talking, only odd sounds of sniffles and coughs.

  Tony glanced at me then called out. “What’s going on?”

  Immediately, Joie slipped from the group and raced over to Tony. He lifted her.

  Then all of them, at the same time, turned and looked at me.

  I took two steps forward and as I did they parted like the red sea to expose Craig on the floor with Jackson. He was holding my son’s hand.

  Face red, eyes glossed over and with a look of pain and desperation, Craig peered up at me. “I’m sorry, Anna. I am so sorry.” His head lowered. “Jackson’s gone.”

  24 – Extinguished

  At first there was nothing. No words, no movement, sound … nothing. I felt nothing, I said nothing. I was frozen for a moment in time.

  “Jackson is gone.”

  It had to be a joke, it had to be wrong. He was there, speaking to me, only ten minutes earlier. He was sleeping, that was all. Everyone looked at me, waiting for me to react. How long did I stand there?

  It was a second, maybe two, but it felt like an eternity. My vision zoomed in on Jackson.

  Tony’s reactionary, and deep, “No”, snapped me out of it and I ran to my son, sliding down to the floor.

  “Jackson.” His name slipped from my lips with air and emotions.

  His tee shirt was ripped off and open, his chest was red, and dot of blood was on the center of his chest. A syringe lay next to him and a manual resuscitator bag was near his head.

  All that could be done, was done. Someone tried. I saw that. But it wasn’t real. It was so far from real until my trembling hand reached down and touched on his face.

  My son was already cool.

  “No.” I whimpered the word. “No, No-no-no-no.”

  Inching closer, I lifted his head and pulled him to me. He was heavy and his arms fell to the side and I brought them up. I rolled him into my chest, trying to absorb him, all of him as close to me as I could get him.

  Every part of life and light within me was extinguished at that moment.

  I was crushed, my soul melted and my heart failed to beat. I kept repeating the word ‘no’ over and over. Internally I was screaming at the top of my lungs, externally my cries of anguish were silent. Mouth open, I couldn’t make a noise. I couldn’t produce enough air to make a sound.

  My jaw was tense, and face burned with emotions. Not a single tear fell until I closed my eyes. Then they didn’t stop. They rolled continuously down my cheeks, landing on my son as muddy droplets.

  I didn’t see anyone, nor did I care to. Encompassed by my heart wrenching loss, one I couldn’t even comprehend, I held my son, shut my eyes and didn’t move.

  I sobbed. With everything I was, I sobbed.

  How long had I sat there on that floor holding my son? Staring at him and the peaceful innocence that swept across his face. Seeing the child I carried, the boy he was and the man he became. I sat there long enough for his body to become rigid and his skin even colder.

  I was so engrossed in my loss and grief, I didn’t see anyone leave. Yet, they were gone. I could have been there for hours or even days, it didn’t matter. No amount of time was long enough to say goodbye.

  A pair of legs walking toward me drew my attention. It was Tony.

  He approached me and crouched down before me. His dark eyes locked on to mine.

  “I’m sorry. I am very sorry.”

  I planted my lips to Jackson. “Me too.”

  “I wish there was something I could say. Some words of wisdom or a magic phrase. But the truth is, there is nothing. Nothing I can say or give you that will take way this pain you’re feeling. Time is the only thing that eases it.”

  “A part of me just … I just want to stand up and walk out those doors, keep on walking and not look back. I just want to die to be with my son.”

  “I know you do. I don’t blame you. But you can’t. You can’t do that. Jackson wouldn’t want you to. You know it. Truth is, I really need you here with me on this one. Mentally and physically. So you have my word and I promise you,” Tony took my hand in his. “I will walk you through this every step of the way. As long as those steps and that walk isn’t out that door.”

  My lips trembled and I fought more tears, although I doubted any more would come right then. I had cried a year’s worth already.

  “And here is a hard truth. Just bear with me, okay?” Tony spoke gently. “I know this isn’t something you want to hear. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t be talked about. But things aren’t normal. It is going to get ugly out there, pretty bad and pretty fast. Soon we won’t have the option. I believe we should bury him and we need to do so sooner than later. In the world as we knew it, funerals and services aided in the grief process. We’ll do that. I swear, we’ll do that. Whatever you want. But we really do need to bury him.”

  “I don’t know if I can let him go,” I clenched my son and whimpered.

  “Emotionally you will always hold him.”

  My lips were swollen and hurt and I moistened them. “I sat here, holding him and I was thinking. I thought a lot. Why now? Why when things were planned for him to live did my son have to die? When he was born, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. He wasn’t breathing, no heart beat, but he came back. I could have lost him and never known him.” I sniffled. “When he was nine, he was hit by a car. They told us he was going to die. He didn’t. I could have lost him and never seen him learn to play guitar, drums, sing and grow. I got that chance. He was a gift that I had on borrowed time. I knew it. I knew it his whole … short life.” My face tensed up in pain.

  “Is is a gift. You can look at this as a loss, and it is, the biggest loss you will ever suffer. More than the entire goddamn world blowing up, this is bigger. You can carry it as a loss for the rest of your life, or you can view it as eighteen great years that ended too fucking soon.”

  “It’s a lot to take in right now.”

  “I know it is. Trust me, I know it is.”

  From my focus on Jackson, I raised my eyes and locked in a stare with Tony.

  He reached down and ran his hand over Jackson’s head, then across my cheek. I leaned my head into his hand.

  “Just give me a couple more minutes.”

  Tony nodded and stood. He had things to finish, that was how he put it, and where he went after he walked away, I didn’t know.
/>
  I focused only on Jackson and holding my son in my arms one last time.

  25 – Numb

  The heavy, fast and violent winds caused the ash to swirl up like mini cyclones. In the midst of that all, we buried my son.

  Tony, Spencer Price and Skyler had gone out and dug a grave. We gently placed my son in there and paused for a moment. Skyler said a prayer and Tony and Spencer covered it.

  I just wept.

  We marked the grave with a metal tube and then returned to the bunker and closed the doors.

  I wasn’t in the mood for a grand tour, nor was I offered one. I guess Tony figured I would see it in time. And I would.

  There was an emptiness that consumed me. A hollow being just moving around, I was numb, completely numb and wanted only to get cleaned up and my clothes changed.

  I would start to process everything as best as I could after that.

  There was one thing I knew for sure. I had paid very little attention to anything when we turned on the lights. My journey to getting cleaned up was completely different.

  The stairwell reminded me of one I would find in a school. It descended fifty feet. That was what Tony told me.

  The fail safe door was open and what I hadn’t noticed during my first trip down, was the tube like hallway went left and right.

  Painted neatly on the wall in red were the words ‘Hive One’ and ‘Hive Two’, with arrows that indicated the direction.

  We went left to Hive two.

  I didn’t ask what it meant. I would learn that later. We passed the Switch Room door. It was open and Tom sat inside.

  Tony knocked once on the open door. “Hey, Pete wants us topside in fifteen.”

  Tom nodded and returned to looking at screen. It appeared to be nothing, but greenish images.

  “What is he doing?” I asked.

  “He’s just looking outside. It’s pretty dark out there so he has the night cam on.”

  Next to the Switch Room door was another set of steps that kept going down but we got off at the first landing.

  “This hall,” Tony said. “Runs the circumference of this level. Only Floor One doesn’t have that.”

  The hall was narrow and we didn’t walk for long. We arrived at a door marked with a ‘A-2’.

  “This is your room.” He pushed open the door. “Everything you need is here. The clothes might be big or small. I didn’t get them. That wasn’t my domain.”

  I was shocked when I stepped into a warmly lit room. It was oddly shaped, wider by the door and growing narrow like a slice of pie. And in fact it was a slice room on a circular floor.

  It was pretty big, with a bed, dresser, and it looked like a hotel room, complete with chair. I faced Tony. “Are all the rooms like this?”

  He chuckled once. “No. This is like the Captain’s quarters. This room was always for you. You even have …” He pointed to the picture on the wall that looked like a window. “It’s a digital picture to give the effect of day and night. You can shut it off. A couple of the others have them. There are a few double rooms but the rest are dorm style. Single bed, small dresser that your knees hit. Well except for Jack ...” He cleared his throat. “Jackson’s room. It’s almost this nice. I’ll bring up your bag when we've finished removing the ash. They have a special …”

  “Where is Jackson’s room?” I asked.

  Tony pointed to a door in my room. “There and I’ll show you.” He walked out and we turned to our right. “Here.” He pointed to the door then reached for it.

  “No, I don’t want to see it.”

  “I understand.” He withdrew his hand.

  “Did you grab your room yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Then I want you and Joie in that room.”

  “Anna, that is not …”

  “Please. I want you and Joie there. Ok?”

  “We’ll see. Anyhow ...” he exhaled. “There is no plumbing in the rooms. All facilities are community style. Two per floor, that’s it. And the showers are on a timer.” Tony led the way down the hall. “Three minutes after the time you turn the water on, it goes off. And don’t try to fake it out. There’s a ten minute delay before it will start again. It's a way to conserve the water even though we have a processing system.”

  He pushed open the bathroom door. “It’s not big, it’s not much, but it functions.”

  I thanked Tony and followed him back to my room so I could get some clothes. Most of what was in the drawers was very generic. Old cargo style pants, cotton pants with an elastic waist similar to scrubs, tee shirts and sweatshirts.

  I wanted the clothes and pictures I brought, but I supposed I’d get them as soon as they were de-ashed.

  Brief instructions in mind, I headed to get cleaned up. I hoped that would help me some, but I knew it wouldn’t.

  I washed quickly knowing my time limit, then stood in the warm water until it stopped running.

  Physically the shower helped. Emotionally, I knew nothing would.

  I got dressed in the tiny bathroom then returned to my room, because I honestly didn’t know what to do next. Tony mentioned to Tom that Peter wanted everyone topside, but I didn’t know what that meant. Were we going outside?

  When I stepped into my room, I saw a glass. It sat on the table next to my bed. Immediately I walked to it and lifted it. I could smell the alcohol. It was too thick to be whiskey and too brown to be wine. When I took a sip, I realized it was brandy. It warmed my chest. Bringing it to my lips again, I noticed my hands were shaking.

  I placed the glass down and sat on the bed. My body felt so internally heavy.

  There was a single knock on the door and Tony stood there. He was cleaned up. “Hey, I know you aren’t up to it and that you did your own studying, but Peter is gonna explain what’s going on out there if you wanna come up.”

  Sitting in that new room, even though it didn’t hold any memories, I found myself staring at the walls and thinking of my sadness. With my glass of brandy in hand, I joined Tony.

  It wouldn’t take away what I was feeling, but for a short span of time listening to an expert like Peter Fleishmann might take my mind off of things, if only for a little while.

  26 – Phase Seven

  No amount of time, whether short or long, and no amount of walking could prepare me for seeing everyone together for the first time in the aftermath of losing my son.

  We took the steps back up and across that hall way following the arrow to Hive Two. The door had a glass panel and I could see everyone in there.

  Upon entering, we passed though a large kitchen and straight to the dining hall. Unlike Hive One, this room was square and along the entire length of the wall was one of those windows. It looked like daytime with mountains behind it.

  Everyone stopped their conversations and stopped what they were doing when I walked in.

  If they were seated, they stood.

  Everyone had cleaned up and no longer did they look dirty and desperate. They looked normal.

  As I passed each one of them, they conveyed saddened and sympathetic looks, each telling me they were sorry.

  I screamed inside. I wanted them to not say a word, not say anything. I had to remember they were good people who cared. I nodded my acknowledgment of their condolences and then joined the long table where Peter sat with a lap top.

  “I’m very sorry for your loss,” Peter said, standing and bowing his head before sitting back down.

  “Thank you,” I said then looked around. “Thank you, everybody.”

  I still had my drink and I took a sip.

  “I was just filling in everyone about phases,” Peter explained. “There are many. Impact, EMP, earthquake and ash. We had the high winds and are too far inland to experience the Tsunami that rippled over the globe, which it did. Coastal cities you knew and loved are gone.”

  Melissa raised her hand. “Even the east coast?”

  “Sadly, yes. From one body of water to the other, the vibration carried,�
� Peter explained. “The next phase is called ejecta. Phase Seven. When the object slammed into the earth …” He used his fist to demonstrate, pummeling it into his hand. “It sent debris high into the atmosphere. The ash wasn’t the ejected. That debris will fall. It will range in size and each, as they enter our atmosphere, will ignite. It’s a short phase, but very powerful. It’s a crap shoot where they will hit. We may get bombarded here or we may only get hit once. But the fact is, no matter where they hit, it will start a firestorm. In a chain reaction, the earth will be an inferno. Fires everywhere. The sky will look as if it is on fire and for days, temperatures will reach two hundred degrees... globally. Except at ground zero. There …” he exhaled causing a flutter to his lips. “A thousand, maybe more.”

  Craig was the next to question. “Here too?”

  Peter nodded. “Here, too. As the fire rages it will warm things up. Enjoy it. Because one, it will be the only light we have and two, the smoke and ash carry upward. When the comet struck the ocean it vaporized water and bedrock into tiny microscopic particles that will float outside our Earth. Think of the Earth as a giant cotton candy machine, spinning and gathering. Once it mixes with all that ash and smoke, the sun will be blocked out. Total darkness. Once all the fires are out, all light will be gone for a while. Four, six, eight weeks. We won’t know. We can only keep checking through our scope.”

  “And we will. I will,” Tom said. “I will constantly check. Even though I am pretty confident in the scope, and it was tested for extreme heat, I’ll not leave it up constantly during the high temperatures. And I did pull it down as a safeguard now.”

  I asked, “Why now? Why already?”

  “That phase …what was it?” Tom snapped his finger a few times, showing he was thinking. “Seven. I think. The fire bombs? Yeah, that phase. It has started.”

  I finished my drink, set it down and said, “Excuse me.” After standing, I made a bee line for the exit.

  “Anna.” Tony called my name.