I kept walking.
“Anna. Stop.”
I did. I stopped in the hall by the fail safe door.
“Where are you going?”
“I have got to see this.” I walked through and began taking the stairs and did so quickly.
“Are you nuts? You want to see this?”
“Yes, Tony. I want to see it. And if that makes me nuts, I guess I am.” I kept walking, then looked over my shoulder. “And no, I’m not killing myself.”
“So why go? Do you know how hot it will be?”
“According to Peter, not as hot as it will get.”
I was almost there, almost at the top.
“Anna.”
“Tony. I saw the comet, watched the electro pulse, felt the earthquake and walked in the ash storm.” I pushed open the door to the bay. When I did I heard explosions, small ones and could feel a slight vibration beneath my feet.
With determination I headed toward the blast doors. Hands extended, I paused before opening them. “If my world is ending then I am going to watch it happen, as much as I can, every step of the way. I have to.”
Tony took a deep breath. He looked frustrated and then he too placed his hand on the door. “One door. Only one. Okay? Just a peek.”
I agreed and then we both pushed together.
It was still dark out and warm. A lot warmer than it was earlier. I honed in on the sound of the next explosion, but standing at the doors I couldn’t see a thing, so I stepped out.
Tony didn’t bother calling or warning me, he joined me.
We didn’t move out very far. We stayed within the safety of the concrete bunker entrance. But even a few feet out, the temperatures were at least twenty degrees hotter.
It was breathtaking and I was somewhat in awe. Standing there afforded me the chance to see and to watch the sky. The clouds rolled fast, swirling around as red lightening seared through them. It wasn’t explosions as much as booming thunder. Specks of fiery light zipped though the sky sailing toward earth as if a rain of fire descended from the heavens.
Constant and steady.
Several landed with a vengeance in the distance far enough from us for safety, but close enough for us to see that wherever they landed, a blazing inferno erupted.
It was the start of what I could only imagine would be nothing less than hell on earth.
27 – Waking
August 5
The storm of fire lasted only twenty minutes, but the fires that spread across the horizon had a hypnotizing effect to them with a orange glow that seemed to get bigger and brighter. The temperature rose, but wasn't unbearable. The smell of smoke and the constant tickling in my throat caused me to retreat back inside.
That night, the first night after Jackson’s death, I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I could hear the ‘clunk’ when his head bounced off the van. It caused a sickening feeling in my gut.
I thought of Jackson all night long, his whole entire life and then I cried some more.
The next day we had a memorial service for Jackson, a service with some religious overtones led by Peter. That surprised me because scientists usually aren’t religious. I coughed all through the ceremony. We then went into a few moments to remember and honor everyone we knew and possibly lost to the comet.
He prayed for their best.
What was the best? If they weren’t in a capable shelter, they were scared, hot and losing hydration.
Even those of us in a stable shelter had an uncertain future.
Everyone wanted to hang back and relax. Other than what I had learned in the car ride, I barely knew any of them. Beyond their names, they were a brick wall to me.
There was time, and that time following the service was not it.
Craig noticed I was coughing a lot and asked if he could take a look and listen.
Sure, why not.
I had some fluid building in my lungs, probably from inhaling the smoke and ash. He also said I had bronchitis. He favored an antibiotic IV and bed rest.
Personally, I thought Craig had an thing about IV’s because he was always sticking that needle into someone.
I agreed and used that as my excuse to stay in my room.
The all night coughing spasms left me unable to sleep well and it had been days since I had a good night’s sleep. Craig gave me a sedative and the third night after Jackson’s death I fell into a deep sleep. I woke up late the next morning. I could tell the time by the digital clocks on the wall along with the picture windows.
But I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.
I rolled over, not coughing nearly as much, and went back to sleep.
Craig came to see me and told me he needed me to get up and move around. I told him ‘Not yet’. Tony came in several times as well.
I told him to leave.
I didn’t sleep the entire time, but I certainly didn’t get out of bed for any reason other than to go to the bathroom.
The electric cock-a-doodle-do stirred me from a semi sleep. That was the chime of the digital clock to let everyone know it was seven am.
To me that was ridiculous and I went back to sleep. When I was awake, I thought of Jackson and it hurt, but when I slept I dreamed of him and smiled.
A tiny light tapping on my shoulder woke me up and I rolled over onto my back to see Joie.
“Daddy says to tell you, this is the day. You have to get up or he’s coming in and carrying you from bed.”
I blinked a few times, listening to her talk. I never listened to her talk. She spoke so grown up and blinked her eyes mischievously at me.
“Daddy said that?”
“Yep.”
“He made you be the messenger.”
“Yep.”
“Tell Daddy to bite me.” I rolled away onto my side again.
“Okay.”
I listened to the patter of her feet as she ran from my room and closed the door. I must have dozed off again but I woke up to a horrible pain in my left arm. I believed I was having a heart attack with the sudden sharp pain. Grabbing my arm, I hurriedly sat up only to see Tony there.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I had this pain.” I blinked a few times to focus and tried to look at my arm. I spotted a slight pinkish color. “How did I …” I lifted my eyes to him. “Did you bite me?”
“You said to.”
I groaned and lay back down.
“Get up, Anna.” Tony said sternly. “I mean it. Let’s go.” He snapped his fingers. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
“What time is it?”
“Ten a.m. So get up, get dressed and meet me in the eating area. I’ll have coffee for you. You have fifteen minutes or I come back.” Tony walked to the door.
“For what?”
He stopped. “Excuse me?”
“You said to get up and get dressed. For what? To do what?”
“You know, Gil went to a lot of trouble to build this shelter, to make sure you survived and would survive.”
“He did it for Jackson.”
“He did it for you both. Both of you.” Tony snapped. “If it were just Jackson, he’d be in another shelter without you.”
“And alive.”
“We don’t know that. That earthquake happened everywhere. And sometimes Anna, as hard as it is to face, sometimes it is just that … our time. Get up. Let’s go. And if you want an answer to your question. You asked why? What for? To do what? How about this as a simple answer. To live.” With that being all he was going to say, Tony opened the door and walked out.
Tony was right.
I had to get up. I didn’t feel full of self pity, I just felt sad. The sadness wasn’t going away anytime soon, that was for sure. Eventually it would ease some, but I couldn’t stay in that room and wait for that to happen.
I took one of those three minutes showers and got dressed in a hurry. I didn’t want to take a chance on Tony coming back. I made my way to Hive Two where he said he’d be waiting.
I didn’t see a soul on my walk there, not even Joie.
I passed through the kitchen area and could smell the coffee. The dining portion reminded me of something I would see in an assisted living or retirement home, more so than a bunker. The tables were set, but they were nice and there were plenty of them.
Tony stood staring at the wall length window slash picture.
“I’m here.” I announced.
“You know it’s gonna be a beautiful day. Look at the sky.” He pointed. “Although I can see a few clouds coming our way, but bet they pass by fast.”
“Tony …”
“This was a really good idea. I suggested a mural, but this was much better. Actually when you look at it, it gives the illusion of not being a hundred feet below ground. The only thing I can’t figure out …” He turned around, arms folded and leaned against the little table that pressed against the wall. “Why this view? What made this one so special? It’s just a field with some small mountains. Realistic and boring, so why?”
I exhaled and stared at it. “Because that was the only view we ever saw on our vacation. When we were first married we didn’t have any money and we used to take his uncle’s camper to the edge of town to Mr. Winter’s farm and park. We couldn’t afford gas to go anywhere or campground fees, and Mr. Winters was pretty cool about it. We were kids.”
“So you know the exact view.”
“Exact. Yeah. That’s the view from the edge of Mr. Winter’s property. He sent someone out there to film it.”
“Why this one though?”
“Another symbolization. Gil always saw beyond that field. Saying there was so much more out there, we just couldn’t see it. Not yet. It was a symbol that there is more beyond the horizon than just what we see.”
“Wow. He picked that? The guy had it bad for you and he was even married to Gwen at the time. And he still had it bad for you.”
“I think we just had this bond.”
“Who ended it?” Quickly, Tony lifted his hand.”I’m sorry. None of my business.”
“No, it’s fine. I did. I loved him, but not the way he loved me. I’ll always love Gil, but he deserved to be happy and be with someone that wanted to be with him, not feel obligated. Does that make sense?”
“It does.”
“So you dragged me from my room and I’m here. What now?”
“First,” he lifted a finger. “It’s not a bad thing that you can’t be in that room. Second, you need to get to know everyone. You don’t know a thing about these people. Who they are, what they like or how they can help. You brought them here. This is your house. If it was me, I’d want to know the people staying in my house.”
I laughed at that. “It’s not my house.”
“Yeah, Anna it is. We are here and alive because of you.”
“Where are they?” I asked.
“Working.”
“Working?”
“Everyone is staying busy. They all found jobs.”
“What is my job?”
“Not staying in the queen’s quarters, that’s for sure.”
I shook my head at him.
“This is your ship. You have final say. Run it. Watch it run. Learn each aspect of it so you know it.”
“And your job?”
He winked. “I have your back.”
“I need coffee.”
“It’s behind you,” He pointed. “And I thought we’d start with a tour and talk with everyone today. Staying busy will help. It does, even this soon. You didn’t just lose your son, you lost a part of yourself. When you have a kid young in life, you don’t have a chance to grow up and define yourself. That child ends up growing with you and defining you.”
“That is true. And you are pretty profound and deep, A lot more than your sarcastic nature lets on.”
“I’m sure I showed that side to you when we were dating.” He smirked. “Get your coffee. Let’s do this. It will take your mind off of things.”
I finally turned to get my coffee and spoke as I poured it. “I don’t think it will. It’s easy to say it’ll help, but no offense, you don’t know what I’m dealing with.” I brought my coffee to my lips.
There was silence, then Tony cleared his throat. “I became a father at seventeen years old. My son was born just when I graduated high school.”
Slowly I turned around. Another thing I didn’t know about Tony.
He spoke with his head down, only lifting it occasionally as he spoke. “I thought, you know, I’m gonna do right by my kid. I was gonna prove that being a young father didn’t mean I’d screw up. I joined the service. I didn’t marry his mom, but I was a part of Tony’s life.”
I stood, not moving, as he talked.
“When he graduated, I was at the height of my career and ready to retire. He always wanted to join the service. He got in and man was he an excellent soldier. I was so proud.” Tony clenched his fist. “So proud. It was my last tour, and his second one.” Tony gazed up. “He was twenty. And uh … long story short, we were watching a street, and this little girl, little … little girl. Toddler, not even two, stood in the street crying. I saw it. I saw it in my kid’s face that he was worried about the child. All alone. Everyone radioed, “what do we do?”. As sickening as it was, it was a trap and I knew it. I told them it was a trap. Then my kid, disobeyed my orders and ran to the street and grabbed that baby.”
I watched Tony’s close his eyes and I feared what I’d hear next.
“He had her and he ran. I know what he was thinking. Get the kid, get to safety. I was begging in my mind, run. Run, Tony.” He paused. “Then he was shot. Not once, but several times. He went down. Both he and the kid were shot. I lost it. I … lost it. I wanted to go to him, but I was so emotional, two of my men held me back while a few others went to get Tony. It... it was a trap. As soon as they grabbed him, an IED detonated. And …” He grumbled out. “My life changed from that moment on. His mother couldn’t handle the loss and she killed herself. Me, I couldn’t handle the loss and guilt so I threw myself into my work.”
“I’m so sorry, Tony. Thank you so much for telling me. Your son is the reason you started GSS.”
“He is. I worked to make this world a better place. I couldn’t help him, but I could help others in his name. And you need to do the same. Work, focus. I still think of him every day. Some days it still hurts really bad. But it never hurts as bad as the day it happened. The pain doesn’t go away. It just gets easier to live with it.”
I reached out and placed my hand on his arm and squeezed it.
“Work may not always be the key for everyone,” Tony said. “But having a focus beyond the loss is.”
“Then let’s do this.”
“Let’s do this.”
I finished my coffee. My outlook on the day was less gloomy. Hearing Tony’s words made a difference. I felt horrible about his loss but appreciated the fact that in his attempts to be there and help me, he was speaking not only from his heart, but from experience.
I was ready to take those steps and just like Gil saw beyond that every day view of a field to a greater good, I was bound to see beyond the pain to a greater focus.
28 – Tour and Bond
As strange as it seemed, I truly felt I knew Tony better than I did a month earlier when I met him. He had opened up. I wondered if there was more or if he laid it all out.
I finished my coffee and grabbed what looked like a thin cracker. In fact it was a nutrient biscuit.
“Tour and talk,” he said. “Don’t feel like you have to get to know everyone deeply. That will come. Ask one question today to show you want to know and that you care. Because they care.”
I looked down as he laid a piece of paper before me with a hand drawn image. “You drew a map.”
“A diagram. It’s rough. But it will help you. Right now we’re in Hive Two. The best way to remember it is everything that isn’t work or sleep is done here. This is the first floor. We eat and cook here. Nelly devised a rotating schedu
le for cooking and clean up. Below us is like a giant family room. Couches, chairs, a ping pong table, Juke box and books. It also has one of these wall length pictures, but it’s different. I’m curious now whether or not you know what it is.”
“If Gil picked it out, I probably do,” I said.
“Hive Two is not part of the original structure. This was finished a year ago, I think. Hive One, the bay up top and the hatch which is directly above Hive One, they are all part of the original structure.”
I understood. Even though his drawing was rough, as he explained it made sense.
“Do you want to see downstairs?”
“Is anyone there?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Then, no, I’m good. Let’s go see Hive One.” I peered closer at the drawings. “Five floors. What is this little box below everything?”
“Storage. That is not drawn to size. Nothing is. The whole system was a miniature thievery of Greenbrier Mountain Bunker. We started with that and then worked our way up.”
“I’m ready.”
Tony led the way.
Getting the grand tour and talking to everyone would help get me focused for the day. Tony explained briefly that there were five floors to Hive One.
The top floor was divided in three. Switch room, medical room and Peter’s office.
Floors two and three were sleeping floors. Floor four was agriculture and floor five at the bottom was where they kept the generators, diesel tanks and water purification system.
On our way out, Nelly walked in with Joie and Baby John.
“Oh,” Nelly smiled. “Good to see you up and about.”
“Thank you. We’re taking the tour.”
“Well, we’re making lunch so be back in a couple hours.”
Joie delightfully added. “We’re cooking rations.”
Tony tilted his head toward her. “Nelly has taken the job of care taker and teacher.”
“I enjoy it,” Nelly said. “Keeps my mind occupied.”
“That’s nice,” I said passively. “Well …” In the middle of my sentence, Tony nudged me and mumbled, ‘ask her something’. I did. I asked.”Nelly, what did you do in life? I mean for a living, a job.”
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